Adele (6)

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I realise there will be a new glut of cuntings for Adele but on the day her new album – imaginatively entitled “30” – is announced all over the MSM I had to put in my two-penneth.

So big was this “news” that R4’s Today nearly wet themselves blurting it out. This one is about the break up of her marriage. Her previous efforts were about the endings of her other relationships where she castigated the poor sodding men who were unfortunate or daft enough to shack up with the old bint.

And thus we have the ultimate pub singer, done up like a drag queen in her videos, shouting and screeching in a morass of overblown, overproduced, mind numbingly bland, self pitying dirges. Again.

Of course the Karens love her. She is the spokeswoman of the Karen generation. How they revel in the beastly depiction of men. It fits the feminista agenda.

I’m currently rereading a book about the heyday of the singer songwriters in LA in the 60s/70s. Such luminaries as Joni Mitchell, the luscious Linda Ronstadt, Carol King, James Taylor, Neil Young et al.

What do we have now? I give you Adele and Ed Sheeran. Coldplay. Not fit to lace the boots of the golden generation.

I saw the ginger goblin play in Suffolk folk clubs. He was bloody boring then. And Adele would be great in the Fish and Stockings public bar knocking out cover versions of Dusty Springfield hits (badly). As for Coldplay, they are so woke they send me to sleep. 2nd rate wedding band for young couples who go gooey over their “love” anthems.

I rest my case.

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Nominated by: Sir Streeb Greebling

101 thoughts on “Adele (6)”

  1. She and they are indeed bland shite.
    I saw Paul Heaton in Hull last night. Brilliant and original. How the fuck Adele, Bouncy, Ariadne Grungy and the rest survive when talented musicians are still around is a mystery to me.

    • And more to the point, how come he doesn’t get anywhere near the exposure? The Last King of Pop has a bit of everything, and the pairing with Jacqui Abbott knocks the majority of modern collaborations for six. Clever lyricist that bloke.

      • PS: ‘She Got the Garden’ must have been penned during my divorce, even my kids agree!

  2. Excellent cunting Sir SG👍

    She is not fit to be mentioned in the same breath as the late, great Dusty:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjydOI4MEIw

    Although Dusty has been hijacked by the GAYS, who claim her for themselves.
    Even Dusty is a bit boring compared to the supreme Carol King.

    I always though Adele was like a foul mouthed-karaoke-Jade Goody.
    Still do.
    🤔

      • Should have been Daughter of a preacher man then, Ruff:

        The only one who could ever reach me
        Was the daughter of a preacher man
        The only girl who could ever teach me
        Was the daughter of a preacher man
        With a 12″ black rubber cock
        Yes, she was,she was, ooh, fuck! Yes, she was

        🤔

  3. Adele is as bad as bad gets.

    I remember very painfully, a factory job I worked temporarily back in 2012.

    The absolutely dreadful local commercial radio station which claimed to be the “best mix of music” was played over the speakers non stop day after day, shift after shift making what was already shite job all the more grim.

    Personal headphones to escape this hell were prohibited due to health and safety which I found strangely ironic because my rapidly declining mental health due to the daily gbh of my eardrums wasn’t considered part of health and safety.

    The main reason for this perpetual grimness was this whining warbling over exposed bland windbag.
    🎶 Rolling in the deep, Skyfall (terrible Bond theme) Nevermind I’ll find some cunt like you. I’m fat and I’m heartbroken 🎶
    All repeated up to 4 times a day amongst repetitive ads and other delights such as Maroon 5.

    I lasted 5 weeks before quitting.
    Best decision I have ever made.

    Adele – you fat talentless cunt

    • Adele worked in a biscuit factory-got the sack for eating more than she packed.
      Probably🤔

    • A lot of ‘local’ radio stations are owned by the same company (Bauer etc.) and all have the same playlist; Adele, Take That, Robbie Williams… all the bland divorcee shit.

      I’d rather not listen to any radio than bad radio.

      • Couldn’t agree more CP.

        Funnily enough the only good day I had at that particular factory was when there was a site visit by some bigwigs and the radio was turned off leaving just the sound of machinery.

        I imagine contemporary pop music is the perfect torture method for use on terrorist suspects in somewhere like Guantanamo Bay.
        I’d confess to anything if I was forced to listen to Adele, Cheryl Cole or Take That on repeat all day.

  4. If only Adele could find love and contentment. Perhaps then we’d hear less moaning from this chubby, overrated pub singer. When the fat bitch is interviewed, she sounds like the mouthy, tubby bint at the boozer who’d suck you off for a greasy sausage roll.

    • Morning Herr Kapitan, you’re an utter disgrace!

      You can’t say say “chubby” anymore, it’s been cancelled. As I suspect has “tubby”, though I’m yet to receive a court order from the woke thought police about that one.

      Meanwhile I’ll leave you with Alex Belfield’s thought for today.

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hhd_2jR1TKE

      • Morning Señor Ruffio.

        What a state we’re in when we can’t use decent, traditional adjectives to describe somebody: chubby, tubby, lardy, chunky, bloated, corpulent, cunty.

        What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle? Optimistic.

  5. “Skyfall, gimme a whipped cream trifle…”

    Adelephant – has a shouty singing voice that could be described as a cross between Brian Blessed and a warthog having its nuts sliced off.

    Dirgey, self-pitying lyrics accompanied by dong, dong, dong, ponderous piano work. An aural assault for the 2020s.

    Fuck off.

      • I reckon in her younger years, Adelephant was the needy round girl, who would nosh one off in exchange for an extra large doner with chilli sauce and salad.

  6. Those 60s/70s Laurel Canyon singer songwriters were the bollocks weren’t they?
    A wealth of talent.
    Adele seems more like a school dinner lady?
    Bingo wings and comfy shoes.
    Linda Ronstadt was fit as fuck when younger.
    Theres a great documentary about the Laurel Canyon talent called,
    Well, Laurel Canyon.

    Stephen Stills, Byrds, Carole King, even the lizard King Jim Morrison was there.

    Strange scenes inside the goldmine…

      • 🎶
        Weird days have found us
        Weird days have tracked us down
        They’re going to destroy
        Our casual joys
        We shall go on playing, or find a new town.
        ….. YEAH! 🎶

    • Some of those 70’s female singer songwriters give me proper nightmares.
      Joni Mitchell whining like a fucked gear box. Janis Ian and Carol King. Their voices cut through me like a muzzies knife . Whenever their man hating dirge comes on the radio I’ll throw something at the radio if I’m not close enough to silence it immediately. I’d rather shit on a fucking land mine . The scrawny cunts make my skin crawl.

    • I thought you’d be a Lisa Stansfield fan MNC.
      She’s from Rochdale isn’t she? Not too far from Stockport.

      She’s well travelled, but a bit careless.

      She’s been all around the world but she can’t find her baby.

      Needs reporting to Social Services that one.

  7. All her previous output has been about failed relationships with men, so the Karen’s love the anti male undercurrent. What they all fail to realise though, is that all these failed relationships have one common denominator, the nauseating old bint herself. She really must be one miserable cow. I notice the old mockney accent is falling by the wayside a bit as well. So what are you love? Make your fucking mind up.
    Apparently she made this latest collection of dirge to help explain to her 8 year old son why daddy isn’t at home anymore. Is there not some kind of child protection law against that kind of mental torture? Poor little sod.

    • I remember when growing up, the only song, that would have a tearful, pissed up, and usually fat munter on the dance floor pointing back at her disinterested bloke propping up the bar, would be “I will survive”. Now every fucking song from a ‘ strong independent woman’ is a rehash of that…lose some weight, blow me and laugh at my jokes that’s how you will survive ..oh and put the kettle on

  8. My musician mate specialises in composing tunes about sewing machines, he’s a Singer songwriter….

    • I once took a girlfriend to a country pub talking it up by telling her there two singers appeared there every night.

      When we sat down with our drinks she asked “where are these singers?” I pointed to a table which, for some strange reason displayed two sewing machines. I can’t recall the name of the pub but it may have had something to do with it.

      My rather comely companion was less than highly amused and I paid for dinner to compensate.

      I’m glad to say it didn’t effect our enjoyment of the evening or what followed. Sigh.

  10. Roll her in the batter and deep fry the chubby cunt then we’ll see who’s rolling in the deep…

  11. Downtown by Petula Clark, written by Tony Hatch, will always, always wipe the floor with anything by Adele.
    But give her a pastie for trying.
    What ?
    She’s already had six ?
    Fook me.
    She’s a good eater.
    Rather keep her for a week than a fortnight.

  12. All these break ups and she’s always the victim it seems.

    Maybe there’s a reason they fuck off love. You.

    Mind you, I can honestly say I don’t know any songs by her. Couldn’t give a shiny shite about her.

  13. The Tottenham slapper is chubby no more! Apparently the wokies in America are slagging her off for losing weight. Fat shaming they call it. Poor bitch can’t win…..but that suits her persona and image I reckon. Yes, the whole concept of a “Karen” fits her like a glove. If any bird tells you she likes Adele just run and don’t look back.

    • She’s got a black boyfriend now, I wonder how long he’ll stick around for once she’s knocked up.

  14. Adele. Bag of shite. New album, eh? Hardly Marvin Gaye’s, What’s Going On? is it? Just another collection of whining, up-your-own-arse ballads cumming in your ears in ASDA and at work from Karen’s radio. Bag of shite.

    • There’s now waaaaay too much of this type of music now. The “confessional” singer-songwriter schtick has been around since Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Joni Mitchell etc, but those geniuses of the past are on another level to the whining cretins we have been lumped with in the glorious 21st century. We need to get back to Tin Pan Alley and away from these self-absorbed, confessional songs from planks of wood who really don’t have anything to say. Music is a massive part of our lives, so it should be uplifting and funky not depressing, irritating, or just generally PURE PISH.

      • The trouble is these millennial types lap it up. They have no idea what music should be.

      • A lot of these under 35s have heard a TONNE of great pop, rock, soul from 1955-1995 so a lot of they know what great tracks sound like. I think it’s the middle-aged cunts in corporate media who prop up this crappy house of cards. Music that puts your heart, mind and soul into a dull state is what is required this century. Well, FUCK THAT!

  15. I don’t listen to pop music…it all started and finished with Reggie Wilson and his Hammond Organ plays the Lift Music Classics.

    • The Hammond transformed music, amazing instrument, nothing else sounds like it. Booker T and the MGs, “Green Onions” and “Time is Tight” are just sublime instrumentals. Whatever happened to instrumental pop/rock music? Hmm…

      • Ian ‘Mac’ MacLagan. Small Faces and Faces Hammond player. A craftsman in his field. I had the pleasure I meeting Mac and then keeping in touch with him online for a couple of years. Was a sad day when he passed away. RIP.

      • Small Faces, yeah, they had a great Hammond organ sound!

        “All or Nothing” is such a great song.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa6rZjJ43Js

        Not to shit on my own birthday cake, but Tony Blair loves the Small Faces and wanted to be Steve Marriott when he was young. I believe he became a cunt of some sort instead.

      • Marriott’s vocal on “All or Nothing” is one of the greatest vocals of all time. Any funny or shocking stories in his autobiography, Fenton Fistula? Cheers.

      • Stevie got up to some right antics, Gordon.
        Run-ins with heavy underworld figures, one for the ladies, and an explosive temper. A true character and a cunt when the mood took him.

        I won’t spoil the book for you, but it’s a quite a spectacular read.

      • Hardin and York were another duo making excellent use of the Hammond in the late 60’s, early 70’s.

        Pete York’s drumming skills were second to none.

  16. Who? Not following mainstream culture since my early 20s has left me with virtually no up-to-date knowledge of all these 2 minute wankfaces.

    She has a face like a wet omelette and I bet her music sounds like the end result of one too.

    • You must be getting on in years now Chunky. The Media have been gushing non stop about this cow ever since she released her first album in 2008.

      Almost impossible to escape her unless you’re living on another planet, which I suppose wouldn’t surprise me.

      • I live on the moon and work for the US-UK space core mining helium-3 for our future fusion reactors. No time for pop culture and the reception up here is crap anyway.

      • Jesus Chunky,
        Even ive heard of her!
        Thought you was fairly young?
        Youve not just been released from some kind of facility have you??
        On the run from Roswell airbase?
        😀😀

      • Mid-30s. I just don’t watch TV or have any interest in mainstream culture. My E.T and imaginary friends don’t either.

        It’s all fookin garbage.

      • Fair enough.
        Not missing anything particularly.
        If we were to be wiped out tomorrow,
        Plague
        Asteroid
        Nuclear war etc
        What 3 things would you leave in a sealed box to show the culture of modern mankind?
        Honest question,
        Open to all not just Chunky.

      • I think I’ve done fairly well in avoiding a lot of the shite music of the past 20 years, but Adele has been the hardest to avoid. That “Rolling in the Deep” is great, but most of her other songs just sound awful on the radio, they are “bath with candles” music for women who love wine. Stuff like that has it’s place, but not as the soundtrack to our lives. We want songs about hot-rods, motorcycle crashes, sleazy men, sexy women, madness and all set to a clattering call to arms to FUCK THE GOVERNMENT. Not drippy songs about boyfriends from women over 30 (Taylor $wift). Bag of shite.

    • Adele was a big fat, sour-faced lass who sang to us back in the pre-woke era. Now she is a slim, sour-faced WOMAN who sings to us through speakers in ASDA about her life whether we want to hear it her mithering or not.

      But she has 37 Grammy Awards, so she MUST be up there with the greats like Sinatra and, err… Madonna. Bag of shite.

  17. ‘I, Adele Laurie Blue Adkins MBE’ is an anagram of something that describes both her and her supposed talent quite well:
    ‘A skin bladder, i.e. bum all’.

    • Is that her real name?!!
      Adele is a council estate name.
      But the laurel Bodkins bit?
      Hippie parents.
      The dumpy plain offspring of the Modern Parents.
      Weave your own sandals,
      Cruelty free tofu and yoga.
      They must of been gutted that rather than a cosmic starchild the kid looked like Peter Kay in a ginger wig?

      • I reckon her husband’s prolapsed anus from constant strap-on sodomy is what ended the marriage. I think that his ACTUAL prolapsed anus ITSELF went to a lawyer and showed the footage of the years of reverse-rape. Shocking.

  18. Adele’s music is absolute shit, without a doubt.

    A cruise ship singer at best. Complete crap at worst. And I dare say her latest boyfriend will leave her her as yet A.N Othertart, left with a one of coffee one of cream kid. Which will of course lead to another tuneles album of whining and self pity. She’ll probably binge on Maltesers and Lambrini and get fat again when the dark hued fancy man fucks off after she gets up the duff.

    Mind you, I have to say that her recent Vogue magazine cover gave me the right horn. I know it’s wrong, but……😉

      • I dare say it’s only a matter of time before she hears the Snickers and Big Macs calling her again, Gordon.😉

      • That’s called, “doing a Dawn French”. Lose weight for attention, then gain it back. The “curvy community” were up in arms when Adele revealed her year-long, intense-workout weight loss new body. She looks great, I reckon she’d give you a right seeing to, but she’s still the same annoying Mockney mong who gets on my tits.

  19. And if you think Adele’s singing is bad, you want to hear her speak.
    Straight out of Little Britain… ‘Yeah but no… But yeah..’

    • Elocution lessons Norman.
      Thats whats called for.
      Get that terrible London urban ghetto twang rid of.
      They all sound like fuckin wannabe yardies.
      But, as the saying goes,
      “If you lay down with pigs”..

    • That’s exactly what she is like – a Little Britain character! For someone renowned for her singing voice, the way she talks is comical, she’s sounds thick as mince and can barely articulate herself. That Paloma Faith is the same. For months I thought, wow she’s got a great voice and has great style. But then I heard her on a radio interview and I about had a stroke from laughing! She is like some sort of retarded doll that has been handed in to the ‘lost and found’ department and is confused by all the lights and sounds.

      • At least Lana Del Cunt is coherent and you can hear what she’s saying. Even if she does talk an incredible lot of bollocks.

      • I’ve never seen her speak. I haven’t heard her music since that “Video Games” came out – Christ, that seems like an aeon ago.

  20. The song got on my tits even more than the overblown film…

    “Let the skyfaaawww…”
    “Let it crumbaaawwww…”

    Eurgh. I miss John Barry…

    • Skyfall – song and film – are shit.

      I loathe that ‘Rolling In The Deep’ song.
      Seriously, who wrote that steaming shizer? If one rolls in the ‘deep’ then surely they will drown? And as for the rest of it? ‘I’m gonna make your head burn’? That is lyrical ineptitude and substandard crap worthy of the Corrs or the Cranberries. And somebody should tell Adele that the word ‘All’ is not pronounced ‘Owwer’. As in ‘We coulda hadi Owwer!’ Fucking dreadful record and a musical crime…

      • She won’t drown anywhere , too fat and it floats.

        Oh sorry I forgot , she’s now slim , which makes me laugh as she was a hero for the fatties who cancelled her as soon as she got slim.

        Just a matter of time before she’s fat again.

  21. Music, as we know it, died along time ago. They don`t have music now, instead they have mental health issues. Why, oh why, can`t they bring back the Black & White Minstrel Show? — Good, clean harmless fun.

  26. Given the number of songs about her laughable failed relationships perhaps her exes could get together and write one called ,”perhaps you are the fucking problem”

    Seeing as she seems to be the only common variable

    • I do recall Adele brazenly saying she punched one (or possibly more) of her exes in the face. Now, if that had been a bloke, the Me Too witches guild would be all over it and crying abuse.

      I bet she is a fucking nightmare.

      • You tell after 10 seconds that she is a nightmarish bitch-cunt who still throws her weight around even though she sweated it off. She also has that lazy-as-fuck air about her that would drive me nuts. She has that “sits on her arse all day” vibe.

  30. I can imagine Adele acting similar to the Monty Python character Mr Creosote in a posh restaurant.

    “I’ll have the lot!”

    Dinner and puke all down her designer dress, tipping bottles of Mann’s Brown Ale down her neck.

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