Cameo – For Desperate Saddos Only

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Cameo

Cameo is a narcissistic website for saddos that want to be acknowledged by celebrities. It’s also a way for B-list slebs and has-beens to make a bit of money. The idea is that you pay for your favourite star to send you a personalised video message.

Do you want Caitlin Jenner to personally congratulate you on your weight loss in a 30 second video? Yours for $2500. Perhaps you would like Charlie Sheen to congratulate you on your successful haemorrhoid operation? Yours for only $350. For $333 Draco Malloy will send you a video calling you a “filthy little mudblood”. For only $30 Perez Hilton will congratulate you for passing your driving test.

The most bizarre thing about Cameo is how degrading it is for these so called celebrities. Every celebrity has a price and Cameo is a meat market of sleb whores hawking their tawdry wares.

Famous socialist Scottish gobshite actor Brian Cox is yours for £149. Paloma Faith will sing a sad song on the death of your hamster for £150. Sarah Palin will say something sexy to you for £187. Even Nigel Farage is on sale for £75. Ted Nugent will make your ear drums bleed for £225. Miriam Margolyes will terrify you for £128 and Jerry Springer will congratulate you on abstaining from masturbation for £101.

The whole thing is staggeringly banal and tawdry. It reduces sleb worship to its basic ingredient- a financial transaction – and makes the slebs look just as desperate as the idiots paying for their services. How low will a sleb sink for a few quid?

https://www.cameo.com/

Nominated by : MMCM

68 thoughts on “Cameo – For Desperate Saddos Only”

  1. I wonder how much Liza Nandy will charge me for a look at her marvelous orbs? and possibly a soapy tit wank

  2. Unfortunately this is now the world in which we live. Sad cunts are obsessed by these ever sadder cunt ‘celebs.’ It’s only going to get worse. It’s fucking pathetic.

  3. Paul Chuckle is in there along with ‘ghosthunter’ Yvette Fielding.

    I’d pay them both for a ‘Most Haunted’ special where Yvette and Paul attempt to resurrect Barry the dead Chuckle Brother.

    “Are you there Barry?”

    “From me to you, oh fuck off and leave me alone to decompose quietly, you greedy pair of cunts”

    • “Two pound ten a tit and a fiver for their arse”.

      All celebrities should prostitute themselves on this.
      It feels right!
      Ive never understood the worship of celebrities.
      Yes theres boxers and musicians I think were great,
      But theyre not better than us.
      I wouldn’t dream of asking someone for a autograph or fawn over some cunt.
      Ive met quite a few ‘famous’ people and conducted myself with aplomb.
      The fact I hadn’t a fuckin clue who most of them were is irrelevant.
      I treated them like id treat Joe Public.
      Like theyre a simpleton and mildly take the piss.
      😁

  4. I’m surprised Blair and his witchypoo wife aren’t on there. I’ve never known them to turn down easy money.

  5. How much is it for the deposed president of Afghanistan to offer his congratulations on my first crap of the day?

  6. Presumably they send this to your phone and you can keep it on there? If so I want one from Sir Nigel I can show to any Peaceful…….

    “Oi, you’re not wanted here mush. Go on, fuck off Abdul you cunt.”

  7. This will be part of the new school curriculum, and will replace history as we know it.
    Never mind all the bad nasty colonialists like Drake, Nelson, Cook; scrub racists like Churchill, Kingdom Brunel, Scott et al. Let’s just each and fawn over contemporary heroes “that matter” – Celebs, and the sad cunts that follow them!

    It won’t be long before people will start voting for these cunts at future general elections.

    Owen Jones – PM
    Emma Thompson – Home Secretary
    Foreign Secretary – Lily Mong
    Katie Price – Chancellor
    Graham Norton – Defence Secretary
    Lenny Henry – BLM & LGBTQP+ Secretary

  8. These cunts have no shame, I just hope one day they all get swallowed up by their own arseholes and let the rest of us just fucking get on with it.

  10. I’ve got a better idea for the “celebs”…Contributors to “…isaCunt” “facetime” their chosen “star” and have 5 minutes to hurl racist,sexist,ageist etc. insults at them.

    Mr.Blair’ll sharp clear out Kimodo’s retirement fund.
    Lily Allen’ll be able to record a new record on Freddie the Frog’s Pounds
    Mr Starmer’ll have Mrs Boggs going short of chocolates after her husband finds a new use for the housekeeping money.
    Warwick Davis’ll be able to buy a new pair of platform boots with MNC’s chips+gravy cash
    Norman’ll make his money go further by sticking to obscure musicians and footballers who are long dead
    Conduit Of Evil can contribute to the royal families coffers with regular long-distance rants
    Miles can just take pot-luck and ring random “stars”..ask if they believe in God and if they say “No” spend 3 hours babbling on about…well.I’m not too sure.
    RTC can also ring random stars..ask if they believe in God and if they say “Yes” spend his carefully-hoarded Shekels on telling them how stupid. they are.

    I’m sure that many other isaCunt regulars would take advantage of this tremendous chance.

    I myself hope to add to my already vast coffers when I switch on and see that a certain “Capt.M” has booked time to have a “chat” with me.

    • Dick, would you forfeit your Fray Bentos pies for some extra cash to get a Miss Arterton to congratulate you on your 1000th rambler to be chased of your land? It’s a tough one bearing in mind they’ve just launched this:-

      Fray Bentos unveils £1.50 full English breakfast pie packed with fry-up favourites

      • It says it was created by “pie technicians”. What’s a “pie technician” and how do you become one? No doubt some university is offering a degree in “pie technology”.

      • Mr. Cuntington Smythe….I’m actually such a sad Cunt that when I read the nom., the first thing I did was see if Miss. Arterton was available…I was going to ask her to say various sordid things to me. Still,the good news about the Full English breakfast pie has cheered me up…Fray Bentos for breakfast and dinner..living the dream.

      • I wouldn’t mind betting Emily Thornberry and Diane Abbott are “pie technicians” to answer the question further down with no reply button for it.

      • Morning Fiddles

        Could I book you to say “Tally Bally Ho National Trust, let’s go drag hunting” for this weekend. It says you charge 50.
        I presume that’s pence?

      • I have a story which might bring me fame. It’s about a poor mutt stuck in some rabbit hutch flat with a superior ‘Master’ who neglects him. Neglects him because he’s too busy combing his mane of mousy hair in the mirror. Neglects him because he’s too busy with his ‘How to Raise Your IQ’ books. Neglects him because he’s too busy singing Beatles songs to schoolgirls passing by.
        Anyway one moring the mutt gets up and looks at him with hatred and decides ‘I must escape’. So while his Master is eating his pot noodle (‘Bombay Bad Boy’)in front of the telly he slips out, free.
        But where to go? In his puppyhood he had sime slight rememberance of a place and a happy smiling ‘human daddy’. A kindly Mr Fiddle or something. And the place Cuddlybunny farm. No Cuddlebunny Meadow. He breathes in deeply at the memory of it. And he is on his way. Like the Littlest Hobo he hops on a train going North. He has a keen sense of smell. He can almost feel the place. Glassy eyed he makes his way along pathways and hedgerows and canal side and a sign ‘The Tyne’. He feeks he is nearing his destination. Now comes ‘Geordie Shore’. But he turns his little nose up. Finally he sees a field he recognises. There’s someone there! Feeding the wood chipper. He remembered him! ‘Its my human daddy! And he runs to him and wags his tail.
        The End.

        Unrelated to this post, but I think I’m going to have to go zero tolerance on nominations failing the rules from now on. Because I really have better things to do than fucking spend 10 minutes correcting your grammar and spelling. Put some effort in. – DA

      • Reminds me of that gormless blonde in “Educating Essex”… What is pi, and where did it come from?
        I really did feel sorry for her teachers.
        I bet she graduated to doing ‘O’ and ‘A’ levels pretty quickly.
        Penny Mordaunt can do me a full-length feature film. I’ll send her the kit that needs to “feature”.

    • Now why would I pay to insult Blair when new citizen Mbongo Mgaga will do the hit for only half my savings? I shall savour the irony of that.

  12. Fuck me! Bercow is on there for £83 quid! His wife doesn’t charge that much for a good shagging.
    Who would want that slimy cunt congratulating them on anything?

  13. Shame this wasn’t available in the early 80s. I’d have loved to have received a videotape with that nice Jimmy Savile wishing me a happy 10th birthday, or better still inviting me and half a dozen chums for a backstage visit at the “Jim’ll Fix It” studio.

      • Ha ha! Holy shit, now I’m assuming that Savile and Glitter ran a train on that poor girl, whilst a youthful Prince Andrew watched from behind a partially closed curtain.

      • That is fucking gold! My young crewmate hasn’t got a fucking clue why I’m crying with laughter!

      • Run, Debbie, run!

        I remember the pictures in the paper of three of Saville’s victims. Hopefully, Debbie wasn’t one of them. They all had pictures of them as kids and as adults.

        The headline?

        Now, then
        Now, then,
        Now, then.

        Fuck off it’s a good joke.

  14. Psst… I’ve booked Anthony Cotton from Coronation Street to give Fiddler a personal message.

    Don’t tell him you’ll ruin the surprise.

    • What’s even sadder is the review from the customer on this cunt’s page – “I asked Dr. Will tell my husband that I’m pregnant”.

      Jeez!

  16. I once received a birthday card from Basil Fawlty. He even recorded a special message for me when it was opened. To say I was chuffed would be an understatement!

    Also, about 30 years ago, Norman Lamont sent a Christmas card to my idiot Labour voting parents-in-law.

    Good morning.

  17. There is a queer section, a celeb bummer will congratulate the deviants on taking their first cock up the Harris.

  18. Tim Whatacunt, bargain there and
    Basil Brush calling people vermin.
    What a fucking website, there are people on there at deaths door, nobodies, millionaires and Simon Weston ffs.
    When Simon Weston became a dad he got divorced soon after, said the kid looked fuck all like him

    Why the fucketyfuck would you do that? Gladstone Small too. He has some neck. Oh hang on!
    Great post too

  19. I’m starting my own gay version. I’ve booked Owen Jones to threaten to sodomize your far right arse, Lloyd Russell-Moyle to promise you a good dose of HIV and Michael Buggermore to invite you to a pool party (swimming trunks optional).
    There’s a lot of money in the poof business so don’t knock it.

    • Well, it just shows that when Dame Keir loses the next election there is work for at least 50% of his male back benchers – just a question of finding a new seat.

  21. How much for the Clown Cunt Johnson to tell me that everything will be alright and that he is keeping me safe?

    • Poor Ron, a victim of the metoo movement. There must be quite a lot of cunts in Hollywood looking over their shoulders right now.

      • In his defence Ron said that he was a porn star and lots of women were gagging for him.

        Always amazed me how someone as ugly as Ron got to be such a successful porn star?

        Anyway, I always thought he came across as a likeable sort with a self deprecating sense of humour. That was probably the secret of his success.

        Well he couldn’t act for toffee… no matter how he tried. – DA

  23. TV quizzes are awash with “celebrities”, have to Google to find out who the cunts are. WTF is a celebrity?????

    • Often billed as a ‘reality star’.

      Members of the public who appeared on a TV programme at one point are now ‘stars’, presumably because they ask for much less money than Jet from Gladiators or a TV actor/comic/pin-up popular in the eighties/nineties (Melinda Messenger and Eastbenders ‘legends’ still pop up on celebrity editions of quiz shows baking contests etc).

  25. So let me get this right – for a certain amount of doolah a celebrity will record a message for you or a friend, and they receive this personalised message..?

    Fuck my bottom upside down – don’t these cunts earn enough money, even with the pandemic I am sure most of the arseholes have been able to remain very comfortable.

    What a major wankfest of vanity I have ever seen – fuck right off.

  26. Cameo? Wasn’t he that daft bur-lack cunt with the orange codpiece?
    Word Up and all that bollocks….

  27. Clicked on the link and found a site for which the description “mesmerisingly awful” seems apposite. I must be very out of touch now because of the eighty-six weirdos featured the only one I had vaguely heard of bears the name Sven Goran Eriksson. I thought maybe he was a Nordic politician but then I read that he is an ex-footballer. I can only admire whoever thought up this site; talk about money for old rope!

    • ‘I never wrote reviews for anything, but Jesus absolutely deserves it. He exceeded all my expectations. His message was a full 2 and a half minutes with a high quality production. He wrote his own material to intertwined with the basic info I gave him. Definitely felt like I got my money’s worth. Thanks a lot J “

      😅😅😅

    • Ive just paid £150 for Lilly Mong to chant
      ‘if theyre black send em back”.
      Her agent then phoned me and paid £5000 to delete it.

      What a genius idea!!
      Well done Cameo!👍

  30. Checking out this site was hilarious! I think I’ll get Fran Drescher (yummy!) To congratulate me on the success of my penile implant surgery just for laughs.

    • Isnt Fran Drescher the housekeeper in Young Frankenstein?

      “He voz my boyfriend!!”

      Fran Blücher – DA

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