Woke Like an Egyptian

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In my desperate attempt to become part of the wokie crowd I was going to nominate The Bangles hit “Walk like an Egyptian” as a blatant example of colonialism and racism disguised as popular culture.

There are obvious references to slavery as well as not very nice things about the Japs and the Chinkies.

I thought I was onto something radical here but my extensive research shows that some wokie cocksucker has beaten me to it again.

The track is listed in “Songs You Didn’t Know were Racist” in the Readers Digest, of all things, August 2020. Among the others is “Island Girl” by Fat Reg, my fucking hero.

I’m beginning to wonder if I will ever be accepted amongst the woke. I fear they are far too smart for me.

Nominated by: Freddie the Frog

Walk Like an Egyptian Song

Racist Pop Songs

81 thoughts on “Woke Like an Egyptian”

  1. Egyptians are mummy’s boys but in de nile about it.
    Mascara wearing, cat fondling,
    Tommy cooper hat wearing,
    The ancient Egyptian was a bit of a laughing stock.
    The Bangles quite rightly mocked the mincing of these bling wearing, little duckys,
    Pharaoh enough.
    Egypt?
    Kiss my asp.

    • “The title of this 1980 single begs a certain question: If one isn’t born Japanese, how exactly does one turn Japanese?” asks the earnest little prick who wrote this non-piece.

      As you say, it is about wanking (lolz).

      But if it wasn’t, doesn’t this backwards cunt know that we are no longer bound by the circumstances of our birth? One not born a woman can become a woman. One born Jamaican can become English.

      Not woke enough, see me.

    • Ancient Egyptians being a bit gay worshipped cats,.
      They mummified hundreds of thousands of them.
      The English with reverence for these ancient artifacts,
      Used to sell them at 9d a ton for use as fertiliser in farmers fields.😀👍
      True fact.

  4. Not surprised to see that a baiting Feargal was the author of the racist records list. Surprised the cunt didn’t have Running Bear on his list.

    I can’t believe Susanna Hoffs of the Bangles is now 62. Still fit as fuck and looks nowhere near her age. Milftastic!

    • Think you might be entering gilftastic territory there Paul. You’ll have to shove Wayne Rooney out of the way to get to her.

      Shouldn’t too difficult, just show him a tyre swing and he’ll be off.

  5. ‘Please, please me’ was about wanting a blow job after he’d eaten his sort out.

    I like the end of Kings of the Wild Frontier. We’re suffering from centuries of taming it seems. It ends with, “You’re just a shade too white. Shaaaade toooo whiiiite!”

    And they said Adam Ant was a mental. Prophetic words from the dandy one.

    • I loved that ‘burundi’ double drumming thing Adam and the Ants used.
      Great sound.

      • Morning MNC, I never replied to you Saturday night…my apologies,
        Can you imagine how much 80’s fanny Adam Ant ploughed through?!

      • Knee deep I’m sure, while he did them up the wrong ‘un, with chips up his nose and his undercrackers on his head.

        Wubble.

      • Morning Thomas,
        Id imagine a fair bit!!
        Had a few number one hits didn’t he?
        I remember when he was at his peak a kid a few doors down from us knocking on our door.
        “Coming on the park for a game of footy?”
        He had feathers in his hair and a white stripe painted across his face like Adam Ant😀

        “Naw. Havin me tea.”

      • Me and my brother put toothpaste across our noses and cheeks and then ran crying to the bathroom because it stang like fuck.

        Our mam took the piss, but ridicule is nothing to be scared of.

  6. “Turning Japanese” is about some cunt in prison, looking at pictures of his bird and jerking off. The “Japanese” bit is a reference to his slitty eyes as he reaches the vinegar stroke. Just a laugh then but a crime against humanity today.
    Let’s face it, if he was in prison why didn’t he turn gay and take it up the bum like any normal person? People back then were fucking sick, i’m telling you.

  7. At least Billy Ocean was honest about himself frequenting knocking shops. ‘Red Light Spells Danger’.

  8. Susannah Hoffs? I would bang her senseless ,bend her over and use her rusty sheriff’s badge as my love cannons resting place, and let her trombone me, after singing manic monday the filthy woman, allegedly

    • Yeah, she may be 62 but she is still as hot as fuck. Of course in real life and up close you may be able to spot the obvious flaws that come with age.
      I’m told that Anne Widdicombe has the same problem but I find that hard to believe.

  9. Indeed and ‘Love Really Hurts Without You’. Not to mention the itching and discharge.

    Did Billy sing a follow up about the joys of taking penicillin? ‘When the Going Gets Tough’?

  10. David Bowie’s ‘China Girl’ hasn’t aged well.
    “I’ll ruin everything you are….”
    No, she’s probably more well-travelled and world-wise than you.
    “I’ll give you television….”
    No, she’s more likely to give you TV and culture now as her father probably owns your company and you.

    Great song though.

  11. Suzzana Hoffs always gave me the horn, the rest of them not so much, anyway I’m OK with any kind of negativety leveled at the rinkydinks at the moment…. Cunts have pretty much ruined the world for now

  12. Good listening material from someone who doesn’t polish a turd is Kevin Bloody Wilson……

  13. They’ve got a point with Dame Elton…what is a notorious Gay doing singing about girls?….the preachy slack-arsed,human hamster-hutch should have been proudly caterwauling about his love for all things cock,I reckon. The heterosexuality-appropriating old Bummer should be immediately cancelled.

    • And he tried to convince the world he played with a straight bat by his 1985 single Nikita. Singing about “how good it was to hold you (her)”

      There was no fooling anyone by then – he was a fully paid up member of the purple bedflute playing band.

  14. I have to go out later today.
    I have an appointment at 12.

    I have just read the weather forecast and it’s going to be sunny.

    It always upsets me to be compared to a ‘mad dog’.

    Noel Coward was a racist cunt.

  15. I’m not sure if that last link was written tongue-in-cheek, but, I suspect not. Either way, I’m going to have to pop a packet of Bisoprolol to keep my fucking blood pressure in check. I’m going to draw a Confederate flag and write ‘General Lee’ in the dirt on my ambulance, later.

    Thanks a fucking bunch, Freddie, my heart appreciates it.

    • Don’t blame me because you’ve got a hard on for Widders!

      She’s a virgin you know. Imagine that lovely fanny, tight as a drum. Imagine those floppy tits bouncing into your face.
      How you feeling now Gene?

    • Did you know the bangles were originally called the bangs? If the cap fits wear it I say, morning dci

    • Loads of songs are about depravity.
      Because musicians are degenerates.
      Bucktoothed sodomite Freddie Mercury sang ‘under pressure’
      About having to comb shite out of his moustache before going on stage.
      And Bryan Adams ‘everything I do..’ was about him strangling a midget in a drunken frenzy.
      These songs are admissions of guilt.
      Mafia groupie Frank Sinatra bragged about doing things my way,
      Meaning buried in the hot Las Vegas sand by his friends in the Gambino crime family.
      Fergetaboutit.
      https://youtu.be/rDyb_alTkMQ

  17. Did Readers Digest include The Red & The Black by Blue Oyster Cult in its list of racist songs?

    They should have, it’s clearly a vile slur on BLM and their Commie agenda.

    Includes blatantly racist lyrics like:

    🎶 Canadian mounted baby, a police force that works 🎶 (A call to increase funding of white police forces!)

    🎶 Got a whip in my hand baby 🎶 (Celebrating white supremacy and black slavery!)

    🎶 Horn swoop me bungo pony, dogsled on ice 🎶 (Taking the piss out of dark key lingo!)

    And everyone knows what their song ‘Subhuman’ is all abaaaht….

    • I can vaguely remember the song but “The Monks”? Who the fuck were they and why are they wearing sunglasses in the Top of the Pops studio? Were they trying to avoid seeing Sir Jimmy touching up little girls?
      Esther fucking Rantzen and various BBC bigwigs might have considered that trick if they weren’t too busy filling their pockets full of taxpayers money.
      I fucking hate the BBC. I may have mentioned that once or twice before.

      • I think they were Hudson Ford under a nom-de-plume. And stop banging on about sunglasses indoors – nobody gives Stevie Wonder a hard time about it😁

      • Reminds me of the classic joke – Stevie Wonder was in a near fatal accident the other day, from his hospital bed he said his life flashed before his ears…

      • Hudson Ford you say? Sounds like a 1950’s Yank motor. Either way, a bunch of wankers.

  19. Put the Zulus in the Oven by the Lord Kitchener Marching band is somewhat out of place now because of these cunts.

  21. Nowadays Egyptian wimminz would start off as mummies, then daddies only finally to become mummies once more.

  24. Those cunts from 10cc should be cancelled. Dreadlock Holiday blatantly suggests that Jamaicans can be criminals, which we know is not true.

  25. Talk about cultural inappropriaton, how about typically tropical hit going to Barbados, I thought they were blek the people in the band, and 10 cc dreadlock holiday? Wtf? No one has cancelled them! Only a matter of time before someone is offended, cunts all of them

  26. What about Lola by the Kinks?

    “She walks like a woman and talks like a man”

    A more blatant piece of transphobia I can’t imagine. I also object to the name Kinks. There’s nothing “kinky” about a sex act between any member of the 100+ different genders available these days. That’s so pre-pandemic ducky darling.

    I hope the wokies are reading this…..they might let me join.
    The cunts.

  27. Brown sugar, how come you taste so good?
    Dunno, but it gives you massive fuckin lips.

  28. Might just kick up and play some Short People by Randy Newman. At least its not Racist.

  29. Arfur Shiiling

    ‘Send the buggers back’ takes some beating.

    T’was just an innocent song about recieving the wrong coloured shoes too.

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