Jeremy Vine on his Bike (5)

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Jeremy Vine simply can’t stop himself from being a gigantic cunt.

This reedy-voiced, irritating bellend, AKA “The Cyclist’s Champion” has come out with this corker regarding cyclists on UK country roads:

“People who cycle in the country should be encouraged to ride 2, 3 and 4 abreast like this. For the following reasons: 1. It calms the traffic behind them, 2. It makes it less easy for bad drivers to attempt dangerous passes, 3. It is more pleasant and sociable for them.”

Vine either is a troll or an fucking ignorant wanker. Any motorist will be rightly fucked off at being unnecessarily delayed by two, three or even four tick-turds rising abreast, clad in Lycra. Either way, the fucking halfwit clearly suffers from a paucity of thought, since any motorist held up in such a manner is rather more likely to attempt a dangerous pass out of sheer frustration.

The only thing I can’t determine right now is if Vine is as big a cunt as his stablemate Steve “loving the show, Steve” Right. You could scour the country far and wide and experience great difficulty in finding a cunt like Vine; Tom Bradby excepted of course.

Vine Supports Cyclists Rights

Fuck off.

Nominated by: Paul Maskinback

62 thoughts on “Jeremy Vine on his Bike (5)”

  1. There’s only one thing worse than cunts on bilkes, and that’s sanctimonious cunts on bikes. Vine’s a cunt before the bike element comes in; throw that into the mix and he’s utterly insufferable, a real cunter’s cunt.

  3. I am unable to think of a single redeeming feature of this opinionated,arrogant,stupid cunt.

  4. Fucking cyclists, no licence, no toad tax, no insurance….

    No road sense at all, especially the cunts who ride in city centres.

    I can’t do with this Vine cunt,

  5. I remember a time when the guy wasn’t a slimeball. Can’t for the life of me remember when he changed but I suspect it was the usual driver, money. Reminds me of David Frost. If you dig out his early stuff from the sixties he appeared to be a decent human being with a measure of empathy. In later times he came across as an obsequious sarcastic creep who slurred his speech like a stroke victim.

  6. Can’t listen to or watch the prick. When he used to do his election coverage the way he’d stalk around the digital HoC like a fucking vulture gave me the creeps.

    There’s something deeply wrong with him.

    • I agree. He has no cadence to his voice. No pitch. All he can do is increase and decrease the volume. I especially hate the simpering faux compassionate voice he does when someone calls in with a tale of woe and then he snaps back to being his usual self immediately they have hung up.

  7. Look at the foureyed little cunt.
    Id like to tie that piece of shite bike round his neck.
    All Jeremys are cunts.
    FACT.
    When having a scan expectant mothers are told

    “Oops.sorry to tell you but your having a cunt.
    Best name it Jeremy.”

    Its what abortion was invented for.
    The fuckin Jeremy’s of the world.

    • There is probably a special home for the unwanted Jeremy’s of the world somewhere, like those Romanian orphanages from the early 90’s.

      • Yeah.
        No one visits, no one adopts,
        Esther Rancid will do a advert asking for funds for unwanted Jeremys.

        Vine,corbyn,Thorpe,Beadle.
        4 horsemen of the apocalypse

      • I think Rancid has been on the box advertising for some kids’ charity.
        I seem to remember she was a friend of Jimmy’s a vile…
        Old ratbag.

    • Bit harsh, perhaps, MNC. Jeremy Brett was quite good as Sherlock Holmes and didn’t seem particularly cuntish in any way, though he did suffer badly from depression in his final years. Also, Jeremy Bentham made some interesting philosophical points and seemed a fairly reasonable chap too.

    • I don’t mind Clarkson, at least he’s good fuckin entertainment, but this cunt hopefully, who thinks bike rides have special priority will disappear under the wheels of a large vehicle he cuts up. The pompous cunt.

  9. Calm traffic? Every time I get stuck behind some cocksucker on a pushbike I almost rip the steering wheel off in a rage. I occasionally get stuck behind some Lycra bender wobbling up a hill on the way to work and it’s all I can do not to run the middle of the road cunt over.
    I hope Vine undertakes a lorry turning left, a common occurrence in London as they get squirted across the road like a stamped on toothpaste tube.
    All cunts, no exceptions.

    • When I was working in London in the latter end of 2019 I used regularly to pick up the Evening Standard on the way home. There seemed to be a report every week about a cyclist being wiped out by a lorry in the manner you describe GJ. I had the feeling they used a standard template and just updated the name of the victim and the road junction for each routine new event. This very week on the BBC’s regional TV news there were cyclists wingeing about the rate they were being snuffed out at the junction of Southampton Row and Theobalds Road. I have been driving since the sixties and I still find that junction intimidating in a Mondeo.

  10. Good nom Paul.

    Vine is without doubt the most loathsome cunt on the radio airwaves.

    I only listen to him on the odd occasion these days as just his voice alone is enough to have my blood pressure raised to probably dangerously high levels.
    Patronising cunt that he is

    And his bedwetting buddy Dr Sarah Jarvis can fuck off an all.

      • Very good question RTC and probably no would be the answer to it.

        O’Brien is one seriously repugnant cunt but probably doesn’t have the ability to reach the same number of people than Vine does on Radio 2.
        Let us hope O’Brien doesn’t replace him one day.

        When I say airwaves, I mean the traditional type that I pick up on the basic radio in the van and not the digital variety.
        Or the chewing gum.

      • I think he’s a bigger cunt because he has a far bigger audience than O’brien, a cunt I wouldn’t know existed without IsaC.
        His superiority complex is in a class of its own.

      • It’s a close contest, but i’d say o’shithead edges ahead for his plain rudeness to callers he disagrees with.

    • Yeah, cannot stand that Jarvis slaag with her lecturing.

      Addresses the listener as if we are all five year olds or as thick as fuck.

      And diickhead Vine stating the obvious.

      Was much better when it was Dr Mark Porter and good old JY.

      Cannot wait to see the day when this Vine cunt ends up under a pair of 11R 22.5’s.

    • Sarah Jarvis is a fully paid up munster.
      Didn’t Rigsby have a hamster called Jarvis?

      • Can’t agree about Tim Vine. Fucking dad jokes. Not a funny bloke, never found him funny, I think if I was 8 years old and slightly retarded I might manage a shit and a giggle, but definitely not for my humour. Send him and his brother round to Unkle Terry’s for a good hour in the oven.

  12. In all of the jobs I’ve attended in over a quarter of a century, involving cyclists, only ONE was completely innocent of acting the cunt. That tells me all I need to know. Vine is a self-righteous, reedy-voiced, supercilious cunt of the highest magnitude.

      • You’re right, of course. GUARANTEED the cunt had run a red light sometime, so, fuck him.

  13. I couldn’t believe it the other evening as I drove back from the pub ( what a cunt I must be) and there in front of me was a Peleton, but instead of making me drive in second gear for 10 minutes, they all stopped and waived me by! Christmas came early!
    As for Vine, I hope he ends up in a verge and no-one ever finds him…

  14. This cunt and fat cunt Steve Wright crushed to a bloody pulp under an HGV is the perfect Christmas gift.
    Fuck Off.

  15. OK, what do you do with a 2:2 in English? Trying to fuck up UK roads still further must be about the summit of his ambitions. Never seen or heard the thick interfering unqualified cunt, and that’s fine by me. And no, I do not require a link. It would only make me unhappier.

  16. I do like the occasional bike ride but I ride like I’m driving a car. I stop at lights, keep off the pavement and abide to the highway code.
    I heard this radio show this week and thought if I saw Jeremy Vine on his bike that I would cycle next to him and then push the loathsome cunt off the road.

    • Funnily enough I drive my van like im riding a bike!
      On the pavement half the time,
      Drive two abreast,
      And dont pay road tax.
      Its odd but they do it they get their own lane,
      I do it, get banned for 18months.

  17. Vine! you twat!
    I see you on the soy express I will crush you, mount your Wife and piss in your empty eye sockets!
    If I am in the panzer I will do worse! – and charge the liable living parties for scuffing mt fkin paint!
    Gives hard working cycling psychopaths a bad name this daft lad.
    Grr, grr, off for some exercise.

  18. He should have been riding a bike in the 70s/80s. Every fucking driver was pissed and he wouldn’t have lasted five minutes. Ah the good old days! It did cyclists good to be run over occasionally, gave them humility. Cunts!

    • Yeah!
      Good for em!
      A regular running over helps keep up a good metabolism.
      5 a day?
      Fuck off!!
      A Volvo estate over you at 40mph is better for you! 😁

      • If a Volvo estate did run over this Vine cunt, I can imagine him just getting back up and dusting himself off.

        Then he would laugh in your face and ride off, in order to boil your piss to an even higher temperature.

  19. Calms the following traffic?? Better not pull that cunt stunt if I’m taking the good lady to hospital 20 + miles away. The man is a total fucktard and that’s a proven fact.

  20. Fuck me, I hate this cunt. The fucking “eccentric” shirts he wears as a replacement for a personality. His fucking voice. Him going to pub gardens and whining because someone is smoking. Soft twat.

    Riding round London with a fucking camera stuck to the front and back of him. Trying to stitch people up.

    It’s a good question. Is he more of a cunt than O’Brien? Fucking hell. You’d have to be a cunt for someone to need to ask. Jeremy Vine’s a total cunt.

  22. Cannot stand to either hear his voice let alone see him.
    On the odd occasion Steve Wright is on radio two I’ve had the misfortune to hear vine doing shit unfunny singing advert type shit .Truly awful.
    Vine is indicative of city folk who think they are in the know and are an example of why this country is fucked.. His involvement in trying to close doing Alex Belfield shows what a cunt vine really is .

  23. Out the way cyclist cunt you ain’t paying I am. He who pays doesn’t wait.
    Fuck off.

  24. Didn’t some bint knock this fucker off his bike a few years ago, isn’t the cunt about due for the same again very shortly…… Wanker

  25. Majority of cyclists are cunts. They think that they own the road. I always give them shit when the cunts choose to ride like this. Boils my piss.

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