Amazon (5) packaging

Amazon packaging

I ordered a micro sd card the other day. A tiny thing that could easily fit in a padded envelope. I went shopping and found a note from the post office stating it couldn’t be delivered as I wasn’t in at the time.

Of course my local post depot is only open when there’s a full moon or a solar eclipse, so I had to wait ages to actually pick it up.

The size of the box was big enough to fit a fucking microwave in. All for a tiny micro sd card. It appears Jeff Bezos gives no fucks about the environment at all.

Not to mention the time I bought an umbrella and it was delivered in a box the size of a fucking freezer. Cunts.

Nominated by: LazyBiscuits

21 thoughts on “Amazon (5) packaging

  1. Exactly the same thing happened to me yesterday. The wife ordered some stuff that arrived in 3 boxes that could house 3 dinghy’s full of new citizens.

    The driver went on to explain that they treat the vans like a game of tetris, it’s fuck all to do with the product. It’s about getting it to fill the van. When I argued that correct size packaging would help cure that I got the blank 1000 yard stare except it wasn’t from a war vet it was from someone who had a lack of independent thought….That really fucked the cunt up.

    • Ah. It occurs to me that what he meant might have been that the badly-paid drivers want as many runs as possible, so collaborate with the warehouse slaves, making sure that, ideally, the packaging on a set of coloured crayons occupies the whole van.

      I don’t use Amazon on principle, fucking soulless and exploitative monster monopoly.
      I’d rather buy direct from China (soulless and exploitative monster monopoly as it is too). Often quicker, and the communication’s better.

      • I got a ruggedised phone from a Chinese website once. Actually turned out very well. Well, until I accidentally broke the thing a few months later when I dropped it and fumbled it against the wall in my efforts to prevent it hitting the ground.

      • It can be a bit of a lottery, so if there are reviews of the Chinese website’s stuff (as opposed to the sometimes superior stuff they send to retailers here), it’s a good idea to pay attention to them. Banggood seems reasonably trustworthy.

  2. Well I wish Amazon had packaged my new “Cryin’,Talkin’, Sleepin’, Walkin’ Sex-Doll”…it might have suffocated the bitch afore she got here….I was under the impression that I was buying an easily-washed, blow-up marital-aid…but due to my shaky grasp of Russian and Border Control’s inability to prevent people-smuggling actually ended up with a 22 stone female shot-putter by the name of Ludmilla….dreadful experience…dreadful.

    I don’t know what the poor Postman must have thought when he dropped her off..still,I must admit that she was a bargain…stacks timber all day and now that I’ve got used to her Joseph Stalin style moustache makes a spirited,if rather dangerous,lover all night.

    Only real problem is the Hounds..they’re terrified of her…I’m sure they think she’s a bear.

    • Sounds like someone has cloned my ex wife. She scared all living things witless. Wouldn’t lug timber though. Lazy cunt.

  3. I didnt know Amazon used the Post Office. Never had a problem with Amazon deliveries. Polite Romanians around this way.

    • It was probably a market place seller, I have some stuff coming today, two parts of the order from Amazon and the third part from one of their ‘sellers’, this one is coming via Royal Mail, should be small enough to go through the letter box, we will see 😂

  4. It takes a lot of effort and is sometimes a bit more expensive, the but best starting point for making an online purchase is to assiduously avoid buying from the CUNTS at Amazon and giving smaller retailers business instead. Amazon should be an absolutely last resort.

    • I do this too. Can’t remember the last time I bought from Amacuntz. I usually e
      do online search and check against sellers prices on eBay.. if the latter is cheaper and where it’s a company, I will track them down outside eBay if possible and buy directly.

      I only visit Amacuntz for product reviews looking at lowest ratings as I’m only interested in hearing the reviews on how shit something is as these are likely more genuine than reviews singing an items praises and Id rather avoid shit products. Argos is another place I use for reviews mostly as they are just a high street version of Amazcunts responsible for the demise of the small retailers often ran by local families (not the ones ran by famileees of course) that once occupied the high street.

  5. The problem is the lowly paid brainless dispatchers. These cunts have no concept of efficiency or spacial awareness. They just use the nearest box, throw some screwed up brown paper in and away it goes.

  6. Bought some walking shoes from a well known brand own store, shoe box came in a bigger box that would have fitted 3 shoe boxes in, just rattling around no extra padding.

    If i bought a roll of bubble wrap, what would they pack that with I wonder?

  7. During last year’s lockdown (Mark I) I ordered reissues of the 12’s of Joy Division’s ‘Atmosphere’ and ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’ (my original copies are now knackered).

    As I was gardening at the time, some peaceful looking Amazon bloke chucked the records over the fence, said nothing and fucked off (thick cunt). But what really fucked me off was that the corner of the packaging (and the record covers themselves) was bent and dog eared, and the 12’s were packaged in crappy grey plastic like bin bags. The records themselves played fine, but that’s not the point. I’m not one to moan about things, but I did demand a replacement for both and I got it. The next lot was better, a more thoughtful and polite delivery man, and the records were packed in cardboard.

  8. There was some young environmentalist twat being interviewed on the local news a few days ago explaining that companies such as Amazon should do away with cardboard packaging, and just send the item “as is!”

    So if you’ve just purchased an expensive item like an iPhone 27 from Amazon, don’t be surprised if it doesn’t turn up given how everyone between the Amazon Warehouse and the delivery van will know exactly what you’ve brought.

    And even if they don’t nick it, they’ll probably throw it in the bag of a cage or van so that its damaged to fuck!

    Sometimes these young environmentalist need a good kick in the genitalia region (not allowed to say balls or cunt in case it offends the Transformers)

  9. One of the funniest things I ever saw on the interweb was a picture of a big dildo packaged in a box carefully made by some wise-ass to look like a dildo shaped box! 😆

  10. I thought it was funny when they used a timber yard’s worth of tree to send me a couple of birthday cards (the ones in sops are cack)..

    I thought i’d ordered a Jackson Pollock.

    How very green.

    • I agree. He thinks street / supermarket cards are shite and also way expensive. Trying to get a card for my dad for example that’s not either something a four year old would send, or a golf / cricket / gardening theme or about farting or commandeering the TV remote control isn’t easy.

      However, I stumbled upon a local newsagent (ran by British man) who turns out to have like a fucking emporium through the back that I never knew about. Bingo! Boxes of cards for every relative & every occasion as from retailers with nice well though verses inside and more importantly the correct size envelope intended for the card is enclosed in the cellophane too. The state of high street & supermarket card displays are a mismatch fucking shambles which I will never go back to.

  11. Just had an Amazon delivery, which came in a suitability sized small box, but the cunt just dumped it on my doorstep and was halfway up the road by the time I opened the door.

    What a complete & utter cunt! Didn’t even bother to check I’d taken it in!

  12. Had an Amazon delivery today – what the fk am I going to do with a piece of fkin rainforest?
    And on even more disappointing news Ludmilla the Russian shot putting lady has not arrived despite me ordering her some time ago!

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