“Hi guys. Dave here. Today I´m going to show you how to make a fantastic mashed potato and beef pie. If you like it, don´t forget to press the thumbs up button and subscribe to my videos. My specialties are potatoes and beef pies. Yummy. Yummy. Have a nice day guys. Oh and don´t forget to look out for my next series in which I show you how to mix potatoes and ground beef in incredible mouth- watering dishes that will blow your socks off! Enjoy! Dave.”
Fuck off Dave and all the YouTube prick so-called cooks. Watching you puts me off food and makes me think the school dinners I got 50 years ago at school in Glasgow – flaccid boiled cabbage, grey mince containing mouse droppings and peas made from sheepshit – were great.
Nominated by: Mr Polly
Cooking is turning raw things into food using heat. Anyone can do it. Even a chef.
13
Whoever invented Bolognese pizza should be taken from this place to a lawful prison and there shall be put to death in the manner prescribed by law!
May dog have mercy on your sole!
(After 12 dozen lashes of the sjambok at full power)
Cunts!!!!
13
My personal favourite was seeing a ‘double decker’ pizza in a takeaway about 20 years ago.
When asked, ‘Do you want anything else on your 12 inch meat feast pizza?’ what sort of fat cunt replies with ‘Another pizza.’
This country is finished.
10
I only eat meals containing potatoes and beef, so its alright by me.
But if Dave offered me that filthy foreign shite pictured?
Hed get to see his oven from the inside.
School dinners were nice!
Never had a bad one,
You wasnt in Reform school was you Mr Polly?
8
Indeed. School dinner being bad was a myth for me. Late 70s to late 80s my school dinners were usually great.
Apart from semonlina and one school had shite chips that smelled funny.
Can I have seconds?
Fuck off you fat little cunt.
Those were the days.
6
Too right. Dinners at my school in Moseley were absolutely fucking ace.
it was the only thing about the shithouse that was ace, mind.
6
School dinners at the Knoll School for Boys was Dog Shit… Everything was boiled to a vapour. The most disgusting thing on the menu was boiled Liver with tubes in it.
7
Seconded, forestry college dinners, we come to eat, and liver and tripe in onion gravy? you must be fucking kidding.
0
Chocolate concrete ? well Brown to be the colour of chocolate but not much choc taste.
Also impervious to liquid – ‘custard’ could not penetrate.. or soften…
They should have built the Geography huts from it… it would have been more rainproof than the hardboard & shed felt the dept of education used… I spent the lessons reading about ‘hot’ Africa huddled under an umbrella & listening to the rhythmic ping of tin waste bins filling up ..
9
I don’t know about Mr Polly, MNC but if you’ve ever seen ‘The Power of One’ then I reckon Capt Q was the ‘one’.
4
MNC – you are John Bull and I claim my free copy of RTC’s Bumper Book of ISaC for boys, girls and genderfluid seahorses (p&p included).
8
Harold@ – Thank goodness the “food” looks fairly foreign – the last time good English food was criticised MNC was so traumatised he had to retire to his sick bed with an attack of the vapours! 😀
3
Just don’t like foreign food Harold, like proper English grub.
Tried odd things but they just enrage me.
Especially ‘continental breakfast’.
What sort of sicko has ham & cheese for breakfast?
No wonder they lost every war.
One exception is Frickadellen.
A German meat patty.
Gasmark NIEN!!
Tasty little bleeders.
7
I remember raving about a dish I’d been served on a Russian plane when traveling. It was ‘a kind of beefy noodle stew’. Had no idea what it was (menu in Russian with pics – stewardesses only spoke Russian, which is just English backwards of course, but I couldn’t work it out).
A posh mate when I got home said ,”Sounds like you had beef stroganoff you chav.”
He was right.
Now try that MNC. I know it’s commie food (well, the politburo would have it while the country would fight over a 40 year old loaf) but its proper nice grub.
4
Yes, airline meals are poor, but that is still the best I’ve had while up in the clouds.
2
Id rather not thanks all the same Cuntybollocks.
Nyet.
2
“And I’d fucking wipe out 20 million more right fucking now, for a other helping of whatever the fuck that was, cheffy boy.”
Joseph Stalin, 1951
3
Saturday lunchtime in Lat Phrao Bangkok was one of my favourite memories. Wake up around 10 to the sound of the Mrs pottering around, realise it’s Saturday and get ready for duck noodle soup.
All ‘Chefs’ are fucking wankers who know complete idiots will spunk a ton of money to think they are better than YOU. Every time I’ve eaten food in a restaurant I’ve felt completely robbed. Michelin fucking stars? They make tyres don’t they? Not chips.
3
Vern – I made similar comments about fish & chips not really being English and I don’t think MNC’s ever forgiven me for it.
I would recommend steaks from Argentina, but MNC might have a “beef” with it due to the Falklands and Maradonna’s hand of dog incident.
3
Harold@
There was a food poisoning epidemic years ago,
Corned beef made with Argentinian beef.
My dad refuses to eat corned beef ever since,
I will, as long as its made in the UK, because im very open-minded.
Think it was because Argentinians dont wipe their arse that caused it.
3
And, Argentinian cows don’t wipe their arses either, the lazy slapdash fuckers
1
MNC 🤣🤣 you are hilarious at times.
Seriously though, some of the best steak you could have are butchered and cooked by the Gauchos (Argentinian Cowboys).
As for corned beef, always been a bit suspicious of it. All that creamy white fat on the end of it.
2
South American cowboy beef?
Creamy white fat?!!
I’ll call a bobbie if you keep up mucky talking…
This is a family site!!!
🤠
2
@MNC:
“Tried odd things but they just enrage me.
Especially ‘continental breakfast’.”
I got raised eyebrows from a French colleague when he saw me sticking two rashers of bacon in a croissant, in the canteen (multinational clientele) for breakfast. I did this quite often, for a change. The slight sweetness of a croissant sets off the peasant coarseness of the bacon to perfection, m’dears.
1
Komodo@
I remember being in Amsterdam on a stag do,
A really perky waiter taking the order for 15 hungover lads,
His eyes starting to dull and enthusiasm wain,
“So thats 14 English breakfasts,
And what about you sir?”
“Ill just have a beer”….
😁
2
Not much of a stag do if you remember it?
1
Secondary school dinners were good but primary school ones were very hit and miss. I went off meatballs and cauliflower cheese for years thanks to how badly they were cooked in primary.
2
My primary school meals were good, solid fare. Middle school offered little bowls of veg curry and lamb hot pots along with sandwich rounds in plastic and occassion chips. Things went downhill once in the big comp; limp, breaded turkey burgers wrapped in greaseproof, grey beefburgers wrapped in greaseproof, sausage rolls, pizza with barely any sauce or cheese and soggy chips. They knew we were leaving soon (mid 90s) so presumably gave up
2
Is an occasion chip a jacket potato?
1
I remember at 2ry school, the menu for the week was posted in the classroom.
We had a “School Forum” about once a year in Assembly, when questions could be asked, so long as they’d been vetted by the class staff rep.
Our question for 1974…?
“What is Dora’s Liver?”
The question was duly put to a Doris-member of the kitchen staff.
“Dora was a very dear colleague who passed away recently”
The silence was instant; after a few seconds, there were audible groans, as the thought of cannibalism spread amongst 500 students and staff…
8
So-called You tubas in general these days annoy me. “Don’t forget to smash that LIKE button!”
I do like those How It’s Made videos, though. But I think those are segments from television programmes.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dmAZ0aH0P9o
3
Yes they are from a TV programme that still airs on freeview. I think it’s made by Canadians.
2
You tube should be renamed Me Tube. A central site for narcissistic cunts. There are many very useful videos but the ratio has got to be about 100:1 useless to useful.
I laugh every time I see the old yellowing auto repair manuals at the parts store. You Tube killed that market. RIP Chilton Auto Repair Manuals.
4
Cunt-Tube has empowered a plague of “experts” who consider themselves qualified to lecture us on everything from cooking to quantum mechanics. All frauds. All clueless. All cunts.
2
In fairness, if you are watching something on YouTube, then you’ve either searched for it, or been sent a link, so you only have your self to blame for watching something shite.
Sometimes I dread clicking on a YouTube link because it was the go to place for conspiracy evidence, though a lot of that crap has gone to bitchute, as you don’t need no pesky facts on there.
Bitchute, shitchute.
4
To be frank what I’ve seen you don’t exactly have a high bar for what counts as conspiracy content. Unless I’m thinking of someone else you’ve classed even questioning the vaccine or having concerns about its apparent high mortality rate compared to other vaccines as a conspiracy theory.
1
Sure! https://youtu.be/3wVSWMQRQqg?t=246
0
In Poland they do this amazing Beef Stew. They get a massive bread roll, cut it in half , hone out the bottom half and pour the stew in .Its called zurek or Bigos.
All washed down with a few bottles of Tyskie.
3
anyone have Tom O,Connor on their pool???
2
Sinead is on there.
1
Great cunting. I used to see these recipe idea videos being posted on facebook. They all seemed to be based on the same 4 ingredients; minced beef, bacon, cheese and bread.
I dubbed them ‘recipes for proles’ when i saw one shared by a ‘friend’.
Learn to cook with vegetables, fish and stock, you greasy lazy fat cunts.
3
I’m working in the food industry at the moment. I’ve taken a job at a mill, grinding wheat. I’m not on the books officially, I get paid on a flourly basis….
3
I have used Youtube for repairing magnetic pumps. Cant think of a reason to use it for cooking. And whatever the fuck is pictured is the food from hell.
2
Fuck school dinners-I took a packed lunch and spent my dinner money on fags and sometimes 1/4 brandy from the off licence👍
Lunch times were for fingering girls or misbehaving down the end of the fields 👍
5
I’ve used youtube for cheeky bikini try ons, gets me handling my meat in seconds.
1
I read it as You Tube Cocks. Which is about fucking right.
2
I hope all you You Tubers are subscribed to Lord Mandelson’s cookery channel?.
This week he will be demonstrating how to improve your mince, and he will be making some really duckie fairy cakes, and his spotted dick has to be seen to be believed – Lord Adonis always begs for a second helping of his dick – Mandy says it fills a hole. As an extra special treat, he will be fooling about with his fudge, and making chocolate fingers. Fun for all the family – especially the menfolk.
5