Three Lions

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See that person milking a shit song for 25 years? That’s you that is.

Oh fuck that song again. ‘Its coming home, it’s coming home, football’s coming home’. How I hate it. A lone drunken voice the other night- ‘It’s coming home, it’s coming home, football’s coming home…’

Is England really the ‘home’ of football? I suppose it was invented here. It’s such a plodding rhythm. ‘Its coming home, its coming home, football’s coming home’

‘Three Lions on the shirt’. But there arent 3 lions now are there? I thought it was changed to a lion, a lioness, a cub. A lion, a lioness and a cub Jules Rimet still gleaming’. Doesnt really work.

I hate that as well-‘Jules Rimet still gleaming’. Bit scrupulous here but it’s the cup that gleams not the person.

Could have got that wrong. Is it called the Jules Rimet trophy? Anyway the line is shit. I suppose I better confess that I did watch Fantasy Footbbal was a bit of a fan. All matey like with Stato there. But then NO. Suddenly I hated it.

You can just tell Skinner brainstormed the England team and our poor showing over the years. And set down the memories. I hate that kind of lyric writing. Its just too easy.

Oh well if they win will be hearing much more of it. We might as well just join in. After 3:

‘Its coming home, it’s coming home, football’s coming home, its coming home, It’s coming home, football’s coming home.

Nominated by – Miles Plastic 

I’d like to add that David Baddiel sings flatter than Patsy Kensit’s chest.

68 thoughts on “Three Lions”

  1. I always thought the lyric was “jewels remain still gleaming” and never understood it. You learn something new every day.

  2. Surely they need to update the lyrics from “thirty years of hurt” to “sixty years of hurt”. Might as well push the current 55 years to 60 as we stand no fucking chance next year.

  3. The Lightning Seeds were foolish to get involved with these two wankers and their chav anthem. What Ian Broudie was doing working with Baddiel and Skinner, I’ll never know.

    Never liked those two when they were on Fantasy Football League. Fair enough, Skinner is a lifelong Baggie. But Baddiel – like most of the celebrity guests/fans on Fantasy Football – only ‘discovered’ football with the advent of the Premier League. The show was full of Johnny Cunt Lately twats. I recall that daft cow from Father Ted (the one that goes ‘Ah! Go on!’) saying to Skinner that she ‘supported’ Aston Villa, simply because they were title rivals to Man United at the time and the ABU ‘movement’ was trendy with luvvie tossers in Potatoland at the time, the fucking cunt. And, of course, there were scores of Motorway Mick celebrity knobends all ‘suddenly’ cheering for Big Jack’s Irish side back then. Wonder where all those Irish celebrity fans are now, eh?🤔

    As for the song? Utter dog dirt that makes Anfield Rap look like Grandmaster Flash’s ‘The Message’. But one of the tabloid scum (The Sun or Mirror) recently made the song even worse. After Wokegate’s Knee Taking XI beat the Krauts in that Euros thing, they plastered the front page with ’55 Years Of Hurt! Never Stopped Us Raheeming!’ This was, of course, a tribute to current sacred cow, woke god, and penalty bottle job, Saint Raheem Luther King Pele Presley Da Vinci Hendrix Neeskens Cruyff The Baptist Sterling of Assisi. But, seriously, how bad is that? And people actually get paid to write such shite? Is this the cream of British journalism? For fuck’s sake….

    • Morning Norman.

      Those middle names for Raheem “Sir Robin of Spot Kicks” Sterling are becoming more extravagant by the day.

      😂 😂

      • Morning Herman.

        Anyone would think Sterling was all those people rolled into one, the way the BBC and other MSM go on about him. Reality is, he’s not even better than that Foden kid who’s at City.🤣

      • Correct!
        Fraudiola trusts Fidel more than Ra-Ra-Raheem de’Bottler.
        😂

    • To be fair, us Oirish started loving Villa because they had Steve Staunton and, that God of football, Paul McGrath playing for them.

      Current youngsters in Oireland have to look for their idols at Swansea or Stoke.

      • Big Paul, the finest central defender of the 1980s. McGrath ws United’s player of the season in 1985 and man of the match in the 85 Cup Final. Stan was also a very useful player. Then of course there was Keane and Irwin at United.

      • If McGrath could’ve laid off the booze, he could’ve been mentioned along with the likes of Baresi. He was that good on his day, but those days were not often due to being a piss artist.

      • Big Paul McG, or ‘GOD’ as we Villa types refer to him. Better on two fucked knees than most defenders I’ve ever seen in 60+ yrs watching the game.

  4. Morning all.
    It’s a shitfest of a song, like all football songs.
    I hate those done by teams to make a few bob, such as ‘Back Home’. Worst of all are those with that irritating ‘dum dum DUM dum dum dum’ rhythm; yes that means ‘Blue is the Colour’, you Chelsea cunts.

      • ‘Good old Arsenal’ is utter cunt, and I am an Arsenal cunt!

        I much prefer ‘We’ll See you All Outside.’ Wankers.

    • Ah yes, but the songs we made up ourselves were of the very highest order. My favourite, to the tune of “Follow the van” went:
      “My old man said be a Tottenham fan
      I said ‘Fuck off bollocks youre a cunt!'”

      Quality.

  6. The Pope will have been pleased with the final result. A win double with his home team winning the Copa America thingy.

    • The downside for him is that there were no players from Young Boys who featured.

    • On the other hand, if Brazil had beat Argentina then the Catholics would have done the double. I bet he had a few lira on that outcome too.

  7. Good nom.

    A truly fucking awful song that should have been left firmly back in 1996 where it belongs.

    It’s coming home blah blah fucking blah. Erm… No it isn’t!!!

    The European Championships (also known as the Henri Delaunay trophy) was the brainchild of a Frenchman – so if it’s going home or coming home, it’s France it would be headed.

    The ubiquitousness of this “anthem” whenever a wokeball tournament arrives on the horizon points to the deeper cultural malaise this country has found itself in when the most original or acceptable ideas on offer are nearly always regurgitated bland mediocrity.

    Again and again it would seem as the rehashing of 3 Lions in 2018 & 2021 seems to have proven.
    Expect more of the same in Qatar next year.

    Shit fucking song
    Shit fucking football team

    Good Morning

    • The only good thing about the song is after Germany won euro 96 they sang it to take the piss out of it.

  8. I liked four lions, don’t know if a film like that could be made now. As for soccer, I care as much about that as Poms care about AFL, go Eagles!

    • Quite like the aerial ping pong but the TV broadcasts look pretty dull with the hectares of empty seats. And the pissweak crowd effects, it’s like listening to a sea shell. at least the knee fuckwittery didn’t last long

  9. “3 Whinging Sooties on the Shirt” would seem more apposite these days.

    Also interesting how “Sweet Caroline” is the new England anthem, as opposed to old favourites such as “Swing Low Swing Chariot” (Rugby Union mostly); and any songs from the Barmy Army (with special reference to WW2) -all of which are now far too micro-aggressive for today’s hurty snowflakes.

    The National Anthem will be next to go – institutionally racist, don’t you know

    As for Baddiel and Skinner – a pair of cunts, but just like with Slade, this song will act as a nice little earner for their pension pots.

    • I think one good thing about the corona virus is the England band has fucked off. Annoying cunts.

    • How is a song by Neil Diamond about Caroline Kennedy anything to do with the England team? I’m sure Mr Diamond is pleased that the cream of British scum have hijacked one of his songs. Only this shithole and its moronic inhabitants could turn a 70s standard into a hoolie anthem. Punching the air and bawling ‘So Good! So Good! So Good!’ after the song’s chorus. England fans, the laughing stock of the world game. And – after the recent Euros failure – that position is more secure than ever.😉

      • First it was hijacked by the thousands of knuckle dragging cunts seemingly always singing it at Eddie ‘PPV’ Hearn’s boxing gigs and then it was 60 odd thousand cunts at Wembley doing the same with Wokegate’s SJW’s joining in the butchering.

        Fucking wankers

      • I feel your pain, Norm. But just be glad it doesn’t turn into “Ebony and Ivory” by Paul McCunty and Stevie Wanker.

        Or

        “Black is Black” by Belle Epoque

    • Good Morning Techno

      My friend in the media says that Frank Skinner is one of the most disliked people on the telly. Apparently on Room 101 he insists on hearing everyone’s jokes, which are largely scripted, thus giving him time to prepare a response, but won’t tell anyone what he is going to say. That gets him the majority of the laughs.

      • Disappointing to hear that Wanksock, have always liked FS as far back as the brilliant Football Fantasy League shows.

        Always thought DB is a cunt though.

  10. Other football related musical crimes from that time include ‘Put ‘Em Under Pressure’.

    This was by some member of U2 (but not Bonio) who out of nowhere suddenly ‘became’ an ‘Oirlund fan’ when Jack Charlton’s lads got to the World Cup. Apart from being a bandwagon jumping gloryhunting cunt, this pillock made a record featuring samples of Big Jack from a press conference mumbling ‘We’ll put ’em under pressure’ to samples of the great guitar riff from Horslips ‘Dearg Doom’. Absolutely fucking horrendous. Apparently, Bonio pissed himself laughing and said it was shit. And for once he was right.

  11. Wanker’s song. The only bit of this shitfest I saw was an interview with some Danish players. When asked about Footballs Coming Home they pointed out that it had never been home, although Denmark had won it.

  12. Back home was the only decent foty song.

    Smartly dressed for the cameras, out of tune and all dahn the Nag’s Head after for a pint of best.

    The way a footy song should be.

    • Kiddo in his suit and bow tie on TOTP. Great stuff.

      Only thing was, ‘Back Home’ kept the great Moody Blues and the epic ‘Question’ off the top spot…

  13. I fucking despise this braindead drivel.
    2 luvvies pretending to be Lads down the pub.
    A pair of limp wristed Cunts.
    Fuck Off.

  14. Three lions on the shirt
    Raheem take a spot kick
    Get fucked, I’m too scared
    I is brave though, innit?

    Celebrate black
    Celebrate kweer
    And edit it out those jeers
    Take a knee
    For Floyd’s peers

    But I still see that
    Wokegate the bore
    And Rashford wanting more
    Of your money f’ poor
    While he’s well minted

    Three lions on the shirt
    Great penos
    They’re dreaming
    Imagine if they’d scored
    Wokegate’s bloody creaming

  16. Maybe change the song to fit 🎶‘Three wanker wearing the shirt, Rashford, Saka and Sancho, hundreds of thousands a week and still can’t find the net’🎶

    I would add that life is a bitch, Saka thrown under the bus. I am sure Arsenal fans will still love him 😂

  17. The only thing worse than football is fucking songs about it.
    Yob chanting in C Major.
    All cunts.

  18. I think if England had won Baddiel, Skinner and The Lightning Seeds would have rereleased it, updated, as a charity single however at today’s streaming music royalty prices the charities would only have got about £800 after 10 million downloads. In 1996 they probably got £1M each from CD sales alone.

    The song must have been written by The Lightning Seeds as Skinner and Baddiel have limited song writing ability. Maybe they added the line, “… and Nobby’s dancing” which is more a statement of fact than any lyrical ability.

    I’m sitting on the fence about Skinner. I think he could be a smug prick but he shows genuine interest in certain things. He lost millions of pounds by bad investments during the financial crisis, but they say a fool and his money are easily parted. The best thing he ever did was a TV series called Blue Heaven where Paula Wilcox from Man About The House played his mum even though she’s only 8 years older than him. In one episode she wins a talent contest by singing a football song which is far, far worse than Three Lions.

    The funniest thing Baddiel ever did was when he and Rob Newman played the two history professors (In the Mary Whitehouse Experience and Newman and Baddiel in Pieces) who hurl insults at each other, and Rob Newman probably wrote most of that. The rest of the time he seems like an angst ridden teenager that has never grown up. Apart from having several million pounds.

    • I must say I like Skinner in some ways. One is his love for George Formby and playing the ukele. He can do a good impression of him.

      It says the writing credits are Baddiel and Skinner. My feeling it was a poor made up song for the moment and we’ve been stuck with it ever since.

      • I liked his documentary on George Formby. It was very good.

        I’d personally like to see more of Ivor Biggun (Doc Cox) on television. He’s a real musical talent. Frank Sidebottom’s version Three Shirts On Me Line was better than Three Lions. Funny how really talented people are overlooked on TV.

  20. Fucking hate baddiel (posh but lets pretend I am a geezer) and skinner (used to be a smack head but clean now).

    What boils my piss up is that they probably got a LOT of money recently from royalties – made me laugh when the three ‘lions’ fucked up the penalties (or maybe we should call them jaguars so not to be racist).

  24. If you hate the song wait until you see the fucking video, it sums up the cunt mentality of England fans, England fans usually look like a bunch of cunts, act like cunts and are an embarrassment, with only Russian fans being worse.
    Anyway it didnt come home in the end, i dont give a flying fuck either as long as that fucking song stops.
    Their were even some dumb fucks who went out and its coming home tattooe, i rest my case, anyway not a single fuck given for English football, Cunt fans, even worse anthems [Badeel and Skinner should be spit roasted by Romanian beggars for that] and the non stop ear fucking we all had to endure for months because of it.
    Get back in your box and move on cunts….sick of hearing about it, fuck off

  25. Three Black Panthers:

    It’s coming home
    It’s coming home
    It’s coming
    Football’s coming home

    Everyone blames some hurty words
    For Footballers being turds
    They just know
    They’re so sure
    That England’s to be blunt
    Is one big racist cunt

    But I know they CANT play
    ‘Cause I remember

    Three cunts grifting race
    Jules Rimet still gleaming
    Sixty years of immigrants
    Never stopped me dreaming

    So many Wokes, so many Q.ueers
    All those ducky dears
    Wear you down
    Through the years

    But I still see
    That diving baboon
    Who makes Linekar swoon
    Rashford’s horror show pen
    And Southgate whingeing

    Three cunts in a shirt
    Black Panthers are still kneeling
    Not fit to wear the badge
    Makes me stop believing

    Some people are on the pitch-they think it’s all over-IT IS NOW!😢

    It’s coming home
    It’s coming
    Football’s coming home
    It’s coming home
    It’s coming home
    It’s coming
    Football’s coming home
    NO IT ISNT!

    It’s coming home
    It’s coming home
    It’s coming
    Football’s coming home
    NOPE
    FUCK ALL’S COMING HOME
    🤔

  26. Association Football or “Soccer” was started by the Carthusians-young Gentlemen who attended Charterhouse Public School, who’s famous masters and Alumni include:

    Sit Edmund Hilary
    Jeremy Hunt MP (Ex head boy)
    and
    George Linekar-(suspended for naughties😉).

    If it’s coming home, it will be to Godalming, Surrey🤔

  27. The song should be banned from now on. Apart from the fact it’s a pile of shit, it’s a fuckin curse on the football team and a source of piss taking from other countries. Fuck it off now!!!

  28. So we have a working class alkie who went to “Birmingham Poly forming a relationship with a privileged Dew with a “double First “ from Cambridge. The only thing they had in common was talking about anal sex.
    I reckon that the only anal sex they experienced was up and down each other’s arseholes.
    The Frightening Seeds only ever made one track that was any good.

  29. Ive never been clueless enough about international footbal to really believe it was coming home. I expected us to make the final but knew that Itally, Belgium or France would be too much.

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