The Crown Prince of Nauseating songs. All hail.
On warm summer days the wife and I spend a lot of time loafing about in the garden, drinking wine and listening to oldies on some ‘classics’ radio channel. Generally you’ll hear good stuff, running the gamut from ABBA, the Beatles and the Bee Gees, all the way through to the Zombies.
Unfortunately from time to time, they’ll destroy the mood by playing some muck that’s so cheesy that it can induce feelings ranging from slight biliousness to a head-spinning, migraine style nausea, making you want to vomit in the nearest flowerbed.
There we were yesterday, basking in the sun like a couple of lizards and enjoying hearing some good tunes again, when on comes THIS abomination;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oSjhuIb6Us
Christ on a bike. Who actually went out and bought this, then listened to it without feeling queasy?
Naturally this set us off down memory lane, and before too long we had a list of nauseating songs which for my money, should be flushed down the nearest khazi.
“JJ Barrie, ‘No Charge’ is a cert”, said the wife gleefully. “Clive Dunn, ‘Grandad’. Neil Reid, ‘Mother of Mine’…”.
It didn’t take me long to come up with Billie Piper, ‘Because We Want To’, and ‘Honey’, by Bobby Goldsboro. “What about ‘Hello, This Is Joannie’, by Paul What’s-his-name, and ‘Save Your Love’, by Renée and Renato”?, chipped in the missus again.
Well, this little game kept us amused for quite a while, and made me think that I’d like to start up a K-tel type label (“Shithouse Records”, I think I’d call it) to launch a series of releases for the enjoyment of cunters everywhere. I’d follow “Now That’s What I Call Nauseating” with “NTWIC Irritating” and “NTWIC Boring”.
But let’s stay with the nausea theme for now. Come on you cunters out there in IsAcunt. What songs cause you queasily to reach for the sickbag? I’ll see your ‘Uptown Uptempo Woman’, and raise you a ‘Candle In The Wind’ *warble warble* “goodbah England’s rose…”. Thanks for that one Fat Reg. Now do one, there’s a good chap.
Nominated by: Ron Knee
worst song ever, send in the clowns. what utter fuckin shyte
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The problem with this song is that nobody ever just fucking sings it; they’ve got to come over all Judi Dench or Glenn Close, and turn in an Oscar-winning ‘interpretion’ of it. Turns a not bad song into a piece of pretentious cack.
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The New Pooters – I’d Like To Teach The World To Shut The Fuck Up
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Blue Mink – Melting Pot
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‘curly latin kinkies, mixed with yellow Chinkies yeah…’
Lol; this ‘progressive’ 60s track would be cancelled today by the perpetually offended ‘woke’ brigade.
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They had a spectacularly hideous black singer, so they’d have got away with it.
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Louise Redknapp (or Nurding as she was then) songs.
I know you lot can’t stand her, but back in 1996 teenage me would have smashed the backdoors off her and still would to this day.
https://thumb-p2.xhcdn.com/a/IzP61bUTk6yAITM0fj9nWA/000/022/032/942_450.jpg
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Queer 🧐
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Qu-eer 🧐
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Nowt wrong with that, or letting her use you as a urinal.
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In future TBRILW, you may wish to use a substitute such as quare.
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Like the two men in the gentlemen’s club discussing who is “quare” 😀
Noted, Harold 👍
As for Louise, If you look at the knackered old prune now you will get my obscure Quare reference…she looks like Michael Douglas 😳
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Only sixteen by Dr Hook.
How far would a cunt dressed like a pirate get singing that in this day?
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Please look no further than the attached, for the worst taste in music, ever.
Prince Charles reveals favourite songs in radio show to thank volunteers https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-57709443
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I’d like to teach the World to (try and reboot my stagnant career) sing.
Keith Harris with Orville – I wish I could fly.
Tonald, whaurs yer toosers by diminutive professional Scotch Handy Stewart.
Tim Croce – Time in a bottle.
And one for the Oldies.
Shifting, Whispering Sands – by Seamus Android.
No, sorry. Eamonn Andrews.
Excuse me .I must visit the bog.
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