40 years ago I could go to my local pub, decide whether I wanted to go into the “posh” lounge or the cheap & cheerful bar. There would be no loud blaring music, no pub-grub, no TVs and their satellite TV stations, no kids, no wimminz breastfeeding in front of all and sundry; a friendly staff behind the bar, good choice of traditional beers…. and generally a good, relatively inexpensive night!
These days it will really is a joke – the old traditional pubs are long gone, either closed down due to lack of business, or converted into trendy gastro pubs. You walk into a pub these days and its like been at an amusement arcade combined with a disco – blaring music, shite food, screaming fucking kids running around all over the fucking place; expensive watered-down beer, hipsters fondling their beard and wimminz drinking pints of lager!
There’s no more bar/lounge either; just one big room full of cunts shouting and screaming over the noise of the music from the jukebox, or from the TV commentary of a football game.
And going to the pub with your mates and buying a round often involves taking out a bank loan to pay for it all. (That’s assuming you can attract the attention of the feisty tuppance-licker behind the bar)
I sometimes feel trying to negotiate climbing Mount Everest a far more enjoyable experience than an evening spent in a boozer these days.
Nominated by: Technocunt
You need to go to a Spoons mate. Not quite like the old days but the nearest you’ll get. There will probably be a few dodgy looking characters, and I wouldn’t leave anything valuable laying about while I went for a piss, but they’re mostly harmless. If the pikeys turn up drink up and get the fuck out of there.
16
It’s been decades since I have been in the UK and visited a pub.
I used to enjoy a drive out of London into the countryside, Blackmore was a favourite.
A pint or two with an enormous baked potato next to an open fire.
Have things changed that much?
6
I used to drink in Blackmore in my late teens/early 20’s at the Queens Head, owned/managed by my friend’s uncle. Used to have a fantastic barmaid named a Carol. She asked me out when I was with my mates and I declined. The number of opportunities I had, what a fucking prick I was back then.
Don’t often go to pubs these days but when I do, always into the Suffolk countryside only a matter of 5 minutes or so away.
6
From memory there were 2 pubs in the village.
Was The Leather Bottle the other one Willie?
1
To be honest I can’t remember, as we only ever went to the one. Very happy days and fond memories especially as my friends used to do the driving.
1
I have double checked AC, the Queens Head I used to visit was in fact I’m Fyfield, Essex- not a million miles away from Blackmore.
3
Fuck me!
Look what they have done to the place.
A fucking gastropub!
https://www.leatherbottle.pub/
2
I can remember trips out to the pubs in Blackmore as I live within a few miles. Especially the Leather Bottle. Was a proper country pub. Haven’t been for years.
Problem with all these pubs is there just wasn’t enough locals and then had to go the family route to survive.
1
My local has a front room with a real fire for the domino gang, a back bit full of shiny things and noise for the cokehead clowns and a big bit with a telly where people can sit down and actually have a conversation.
I do not waste my money to be deafened and ripped off, and further will not spend my hard earned in any place that demands vax certificates, track and trace, signing in with details or any other fucking nonsense – I just will not do it.
11
The rot set in with space invaders machines. Little green bastards invading our pubs. Cunts.
8
It’s the thick cunts who take their kids then completely fail to keep them under control that has fucked the pub.
15
Nearly came to blows with a yank in bury st edmunds. His fucking kids were round the bar like a rash. I told him to fuck his kids away from the bar. adults only dirty jokes and swearing a plenty.
Let the little cunts stay outside.
5
I use to drink in the kingfisher slough in 1986 . You had a duke box you had to pay for any songs you’d want and one pool table for money wagers .It was underground in the center of the town and-attracted all sorts of people but was always old school. Miss those days
4
The Kingfisher was a vaults pub slap bang in the middle of the town. I was a kid then and knew where it was because the cinema was next to it. Long gone now…a bit like sunny Slough.
2
That’s a shame, I met some great characters there over the year and a half I spent there before moving to Holland. I was wasn’t to bad at the pool table either and my selection of 3 songs for 50 pence were Kate bush , David Bowie’s wild is the wind and Thin Liizzy’s Emerald. I was usually a bit on it at that stage . Happy Days Rob
2
Yes, the modern pub is awful. You’d have to be mad to open your own pub these days as you have to cater to every whim of the public now and by trying to please everybody, you end up alienating them. There are few pubs when I live now that could be called “traditional”.
One is from 1850, The Prince of Wales with old wood panels and has never had music, never had a TV, though it serves really nice food.
The Grill from 1870 is another, over 300 brands of whisky, no music, no TV, no kids, rarely women in it as it has a reputation for not having women’s toilets, though it does.
Under the Hammer (it’s next to an auction room) was great, below street level, no music, no TV, no cunts. Sadly they closed in September.
The rest of the pubs in Aberdeen (a once legendary pub crawl city) are of varying quality. I’ve been around Britain’s pubs when I used to drink and they were generally good/great, but they are increasingly getting lame or irritating. The kids in pubs thing does my cunt in, it’s not an environment for kids, my brother and sister would never ever take their kids into a pub, but the sketchy cunts of society think nothing of that and shitting in the punch bowl.
The pricing is the real cunt, though. Up until 2010 when the law changed on fixed pricing when you had “Happy Hour!” and “2-4-1” you could get absolutely banjoed for 20 notes on certain days. You’re lucky to be able to buy five pints for that now. In those “other countries” that you have like Brazil, booze is still cheap and the bars are still crazy in a good way. But Britain had became a nanny state and having a genuine good time is becoming harder and harder with each passing decade.
10
Im just back from the pub.
Out for Fathers day.
I frequent two pubs.
One with family, good food, friendly staff, beautiful views of the Pennine way.
The other is for out with the lads.
No food, jukebox full of classic rock and plenty of interesting characters.
Still some great pubs about,
Theyre our heritage and need our support as they’ve had it tough lately.
God bless the British Boozer!!🇬🇧🇬🇧
11
Fuck pubs! Fuck their prices! Fuck their sour faced staff!
Fuck off!
19
Lone drinker?
Theres a surprise.
7
Only chance I get of intelligent conversation in a pub. Especially with you being a prime example of the clientele 😀
22
Yes youd need mates to go a pub wouldn’t you?
Maybe take your Cressida the Stockbrokers Arms?
Shed like a change of scenery I expect?
Pims dulls the pain I hear!
Heehee 😀🖕
16
The poor cunts have been taxed out of existence and the people in them bored to death with mongs who dont like smoking or anything else.
8
Smoking was great in pubs and when Blair banned it, it was like the Grim Reaper descended on them all. Drab, dull atmospheres with an unpleasant odour you couldn’t quite identify. Add the children screeching and racing like it’s a playground then being tutted at by the parents for our choice language plus the ridiculous price of drinks and it’s an unpleasant experience, even without the face nappy nonsense
8
I still think Blair should be hanged.
7
It’s one of the things that makes England a great place.
A warm country pub on a cold winter’s night.
Sitting next to an open fire with someone’s dog sleeping peacefully on the hearth.
Good beer and hot, hearty food.
No music, no television, no fruit machines.
Old and sometimes ancient pubs steeped in character.
The days before theme pubs and wine bars.
The King’s Head in Chigwell.
The Villager’s Rest opposite the duck pond in Loughton.
These are the things that I miss.
10
For nostalgia I have just checked.
The King’s Head in Chigwell, written about by Charles Dickens and frequented by the likes of Winston Churchill. Now a fucking Turkish restaurant. And not a very good one according to TripAdvisor.
2
The guy that runs it is a wanker, as are 99% of the clientele. Real Essex trash.
3
Pubs were once the best places for blokes to pick up work. Pubs shut on mass unemployed goes up. The Cunting governments were paid by us to keep employment up. The fuckstick politicians fucked with the community balance.
Sexy barmaid gone. Hipster anal come bucket now serves craft gin.
Pool tables gone replaced with nothing.
Crap cheap filling food replaced with 10 quid chips served on a cut down scaffold board.
Under age drinking gone and replaced with them drinking unregulated on a park bench.
Argggg I could go on…
9
I met the staff from work on friday at a local Pub, we managed to book 2 tables for 12 of us. I was looking forward to what turned out to be a very unpleasant experience. First off you could only order food or drink through their fuckin App. 2 people had to leave because they didn’t own smart phones and a pint of piss poor lager was £5.50 .
Fuck the Pub if this is the way it’s going.
13
The Ancient Borough Arms in Pontefract town square.
AKA “The ABH” locally due to the frisky behaviour and occasional handbags on bank holidays.
Some very scary characters got in there.
5
Techno-what part of Cumbria?
There are still some good old fashioned boozers, off the main drags👍
3
Not too far away from Sellafield and Seascale on the coast.
I will admit there are 2 or 3 good old traditional pubs in the area, that don’t belong to the big chains and haven’t succumbed to the modern “theme pub” bollocks.
Trouble is they get rammed with frigging tourists and cunts on bikes all dressed in lycra.
But when I travel to the bigger towns like Barrow, Workington or Carlisle, that when it all turns to shite. Although I will say the pubs in those places are far better than some of the boozers I used to visit when I used to live in Brum.
4
Not too familiar with that part-surely there must be a nice pub in Ravenglass or St Bees?
I noticed that there are loads of pubs for sale in Allerdale.
3
There’s an old-fashioned one in Ravenglass but it’s shit. Some good ones in Ulverstone.
2
I was last in Ulverston in 2019 and was surprised to see shops converted into lads “drinking” dens.
2
Ulverston, where Stan Laurel is from.👍
3
Among other “notables”👍
2
I haven’t seen the Dens in Stan Laurel’s hometown but I’ve been in some decent pubs. There’s one at the end of a sort of canal to the sea where a gorgeous Hungarian girl worked behind the bar. She had magnificent breastage. Decent pub with great views, especially the tits.
6
The stripper pubs in Shoreditch are long gone. The hipsters have taken over and turned them into gastro pubs serving craft beers on those fucking gay beer flights. Cunts!
The ‘male’ punters are soy-boy cucks and the females are fucking woke SJW types.
4
Gastro always makes me think of enteritis.
Cuntish name, dreamt up by Cuntish “exec” types, no doubt
4
The spread Eagle was good. Ugly slappers though
3
Spread Eagle where, Smug?
2
The final nail in the coffin probably was the smoking ban in 2007. I remember my Mum and Dad taking me and my Sister to a country pub in the late 70s and early 80s. We were given a bottle of pop and a bag of crisps and played in the pub garden, while Mum and Dad were in the pub enjoying a few pints probably 4 or 5 for Dad and then he drove 7 miles home. Never a problem, but the drink drive campaigns soon stopped that. I for one always drive better when I’ve had six pints.
6
‘The final nail in the coffin probably was the smoking ban’
So what you’re saying the final nail in the coffin was probably the ban on coffin nails?
1
That made me laugh Miles, maybe writing a script is something to consider.
2
Pubs are part of being British.
I met my missus in a pub 20+ years ago,
Every bird ive been out with,
Met in a pub.
The best laughs ive ever had were in a pub.
I dont have to tell the landlord what I want to drink,
He knows!
Sees me coming he starts to pull my pint.
Pubs are fuckin great.👍
8
Our rulers and betters would love it if all the pubs went to the wall. They’d much rather we sat at home, boozed up or not, staring at screens and drinking in their bullshit propaganda. What can we scare you about today? What can we make you feel guilty about? How can we destroy your sense of place and community and make you ashamed of your country, culture and history? Just sit down cunts, you’ve got nowhere else to go.
10
What I miss is a brown split. I cut my drinkers teeth on them. What do you get now? assorted varieties of pisswater.
3
I suggest you try Mann’s brown ale, available from Morrisons, mixed with John Smith’s bitter.
1
Thanks Allan, Morrison’s after work then.
1
The nicest pub I have been in “recently”, was the “Talbot Inn” on Much Wenlock a few years ago, when we were house viewing houses locally.
Proper community spirit, decent ale, good food-no distractions 👍
5
There used to be a boozer at Southey Green, Sheffield, called The Magnet. Even the Kray twins would have been shit scared to go in. My mate is a BT Engineer and had to go to this pub as the phone wasn’t working. He trod in a huge pile of dog shit on the front room carpet. “Really sorry” he shouted to the Landlord. “Don’t worry about it pal, just wipe it off on the carpet” the Landlord says. Lovely place, long since knocked down.
5
You’d have to be a right fucking masochist (with money to burn) to cross the threshold of the average pub nowadays. Even pre Covid regulations, most of them were shite.
Halcyon decades, ‘60s,’70s &’80s – we never had it so good!
Began going downhill with the advent of Blair, like everything else that made life worth living in this once great and influential country.
Fuck them.
9
Blair has always been almost teetotal, Ruffers. His smoking ban probably closed a quarter of all pubs which is what he wanted.
4
Yep.
The pubs in those eras were generally family run pubs and any extra staff on busy nights were regulars that just needed a bit of extra money so they knew the customer. A bit clicky at first perhaps but once you got to know them a great atmosphere.
The 90s and onwards? Chain run pubs with surly staff on minimum wage! The staff are only working in the pubs because all the jobs at Dominoes and TGIF have gone! The manager is on a salary regardless of volume of sales and he/she doesn’t give a fuck about what customers they get in there either away
Late 80s early 90s I remember saying if a pint ever gets to ￡2 that’s me done! Cut to 2019, in we go for a game of pool and a couple of pints of Guinness and I was duly relieved of a tenner, I didn’t even bother asking for change for the pool table!
If I bother going out now I go to my friends pub. We supply a bottle of whiskey in turn and drink it in the back bar which is generally just for us…mainly to stop me offending anyone. No measures, just one bottle of whiskey and two glasses and both of us wondering why anyone would pay 5 pound plus for a pint, or five or six quid for a large glass of wine when you can a bottle for that!
Pubs? Fuck off!
Fuck off!
5
Fathers Day today. Police were called when a huge crowd of blokes gathered outside Katie Price’s house demanding their presents.
Sadly Captain Hewitt went without even a card yet again.
10
My favourite Cardiff pub has reverted to its original name – The Blue Bell. It had been The Goat Major for many years, as one of the Welsh regiments had a goat as mascot.
I suppose it confused certain effnicks…
4
4, 5, 6 quid around London for a pint of piss in a warm glass surrounded by well dressed functional bellends.
No thanks.
4
Another irritation with boozers these days is that no one barely talks to each other when gathered round the table. This is because everyone is staring at their phones and texting like fuck – probably to the people in the same group!
5
Not really, in my local it would take 3 visits before we talk to you, and maybe 5 before you joined us in the beer garden for lock down,
But that is nothing, in the other village in the valley you had to be knowledgeable about grass conditions, dairy and calfing before they would talk to you ( fucking cattle farmers! sheep are best)
4
As an organiser of pub crawls, mostly around London, I can say there are still great boozers out there. The price of pint can be hefty these days and the government could help with lowering the tax pubs pay and putting in on supermarket beers.
4
Penguin goes into a pub.
Asks the landlord. “I’m looking for John, my brother; has he been in”?
Landlord says “I don’t know him. What does he look like?”
6
A traitor, a bully and a cuckold walk into a pub. The barman says “what can I get you Mr Bercow?”
He says “well you can call me Lord Bercow for a start you peasant.”
9
so a piece of string goes into a pub and asks for a beer.
Landlord says “Don’t serve your sort in here!”
so he goes out side ties himself up and fluffs his hair before going back in.
he asks for a beer, land lord looks at him and says “Didn’t I just bar you?”
string says “No I am afraid not”
6
To be fair I have got a local near me that was refurbished and did away with all that, it’s great a fair few attractive bar staff, and the landlady isn’t attractive but she laughs like Sid James, it’s a cracking place.
5