Henpecked Blokes

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Men henpecked and destroyed by marriage are cunts.

I am one of the lucky few, I suppose, I am actually that rarity: a happily married man. But the amount of mates and old muckers I have seen ruined by taking a wife is now in huge numbers. Blokes who were great mates. good lads and real ravers turned into shadows of their former selves. The transformation is both saddening and alarming.

One old pal of mine was a great bloke and one of the lads, nice lad too. He said he’d never get caught and would be his own man until the day he died. Now? He got wed and now his life isn’t his own.

Doesn’t go out until he gets permission (i.e: never), all his hard earned goes into a ‘joint account’ and he can’t even treat himself to something like a DVD without his Dragon quizzing ‘How much did that cost?’

I saw them last week in passing and asked how things were going. My mate said ‘they’ (meaning him) were either going to re-do the driveway or the bathroom. But his harridan just barked/sneered ‘Bathroom!’ as if to say ‘End of discussion! Go Doggy, get bone!’

I asked him if he’d maybe like a post-lockdown piss-up just like the old days, and he looked nervous as he got one of ‘those’ sideways glances from the tart and I never did get a definite answer.

The poor cunt tells me of his woes and his life of henpecked terror. But It’s his own fault and he never stands up to the bitch. Thing is, he is but one of many. There are millions of men who give up their old lives and never enjoy themselves again after they get the ball and chain.

What I want to know is why do they fucking do it?

Nominated by: Norman

120 thoughts on “Henpecked Blokes”

  1. I’m not sure I know any henpecked blokes anymore, I used to though! I still know a few mates that as soon as they get a girlfriend they disappear off the face of the earth and as soon as they split up reappear again.

    There’s nowt as strange as folk 🤔

    Fuck off 🧐

  2. I’m going to dip my cock in glue and then poultry pellets…Miss Arterton can then henpeck me to death.

      • I sometimes think that things would be a lot more relaxed if I was in a ‘ there was a Mrs. Cunter ‘ type situation.
        But then, she does make excellent cakes.
        Tricky.

    • Tamara Drewe is a rubbishy romance film on Netflix starring Gemma in the lead. She walks in short hot pants in once scene and in another lies on a bed with showing her back back body.

      I saw this and thought of you!

      • What Fiddler in hot pants?
        Or Fiddler showing his back Cuntologist?

      • Whatever floats your boat MNC.

        If you want to see Fiddler on Netflix in tweed hot pants or whatever, good for you!

      • Heehee!😀👍
        I’ve already seen that Cuntologist.
        Dancing at the disco!

      • @Cuntologist….

        “rubbishy” !!!…..it’s a modern classic and Gemma should have won an Oscar.

        You’re a philistine, probably uncouth…..and probably dip your hand in people’s popcorn cartons when at the cinema.

      • Cuntologist, Lord Fiddler needs a women’s touch around his vast estate.
        You got any nice girly friends?
        🤔👍

    • @Jack the C
      The cake thing is closely connected with euthanasing the husband before he costs a fortune in care homes. I’ve seen it again and again – the spouse of a home baking aficionado generally doesn’t make it past 65. Reflect on that.

      • Especially now after Hancock has been ordering the fully supply capacity of Midazolam from UK supplier and also plundered French pharmaceutical suppliers to get even more. Anyone lost someone unexpectedly since February 2020? Get their medical records and scrutinize issued medicines. Liverpool Pathway I mean sustainable development goals. Harold Shipman had fuck all on.these cunts.

  3. What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
    Nothing. You already told her twice.

    • Why is it tradition for Jewish men stamp on a wine glass at a Jewish wedding ?
      Because it will be the last chance he will ever have to put his foot down.

  4. Set your stall out early.
    Give the Strife a good dry bumming then have her cook a nice dinner.
    Job done as modern cunts say.

      • Most blokes are henpecked to some degree when married.
        You tell your missus your having a load of old mates round on the piss and watch her face!
        Funnily, mrs Miserable has a bag on at the moment because I snapped at her.
        Told me to chill out,
        Like some fuckin hippy yank.
        And im hot, tired from work and told her to fuck right off.
        Ill pay for it though.

  5. Been married twice ( Yes no fool like an old Fool ) My first marriage I served 8 years.
    The thing I have noticed most is how they try to separate you from your family, and you have to go out on a weekend spending a fortune on their Vanity projects.
    Remember, the nicer you are the worse they will treat you.
    On the day of my first marriage my Uncle Joe pulled me aside and said this is the most expensive decision you will ever make and I bet you love her so much you could eat her. In 10 years time you’d wish you fucking had.
    He was right on both counts.

  6. Johnson and Hancock must be hen pecked, they are taking it out on us.
    Fucking spineless cunts.
    Hang on change it to Hancockless.

    • Johnson is like some poor cuck male spider who gets devoured after sex. Henpecked? He fucking wishes.

      • That Miss Piggy eco-warrior that Johnson married keeps his knackers in a jar in her handbag. Women like that set the boundaries early on.
        Fuck ’em but never marry ’em.

      • She has promised to give them back on ‘Freedom Day’, whenever that is….

      • She’ll probably keep them on a piece of elastic. Still, at least he won’t sire any more ankle biters.

      • What was that at the time of the Iraq war–‘freedom fries’ for french fries.
        We ought to celebrate Freedom Day with ‘freedom chips!’ or a ‘freedom pasty’ from Greggs.
        Maybe (in the voice of Braveheart) a Fray(dom) Bentos Steak Pie. Mr Fiddler would enjoy one of those.
        Many marketing possibilities.

      • I think I read somewhere she is a vegan so by default our fearless leader is too. Maybe she will allow him some disgusting treat to celebrate.

      • I bet Cummings had to shag her and that dopey cunt watched then got told by nut nuts to mop up the mess with his albino rat face

      • @LL Wasn’t his Corona virus stay in hospital really to get the snip? I’m sure it works in timing wise with a positive pregnancy test. She probably sent him in following test so nice body else can get a cut of child maintenance in future. I bet she knows how many ways it will be split already, the cunt. Hippopotamus man is gonna get Prince Harried.

  7. Fortunately my trouble & strife isn’t much of a hen, although she will always nag about anything to do with technology (her laptop, pc, phones, tablets etc.) and “Honey, my pooter’s gone all slow!” or “Darling, my tablet is making a funny noise!” or “What does this message mean?”

    She then moves onto interior decorating, asking me “Do you think these new curtains match the carpets?” And if I say “No” she’ll say “Well I think they do so we’ll buy them!”

    And if I say “Yes” she’ll say “No they don’t! Are you blind? I don’t know why I bother asking you!”

    I count to 10 quite a lot in our household but she’s far better than any previous girlfriends I’ve had

  8. Your mate’s wife sounds a considerable bastard. He needs to get a grip or he will be dead before his time.
    I see this all the time in supermarkets. The bloke with the silent scream look on his face and his sour face cunt of a bint.
    Poor but silly sods.

    • You’ll never see me in the supermarket Uttercunt. Mrs K won’t take me with her because I turn into a cunt. I went once and an old dear told Mrs K to get me home. We have Blue jobs and pink jobs in our house. I do help put the shopping away and carry the bags from the car but Mrs K is a star. Been together 12 years and still getting blow-jobs and the like, so we must be doing something right.

  9. I’ve tried every which way to keep gfs and wives happy. It’s a sure way to grind any pleasure out of life. Learned now just be yourself, get on with the stuff that makes your own life bearable and don’t compromise on the big stuff. They will learn to like or lump it or they will fuck off and make someone else’s life a misery. Either way you’re still happy.

  10. Some great cuntings today.
    Mine gets the strop on occasionally but she’s pretty chilled, though I haven’t married her yet. I presume it’ll all change then….

  11. Henpecked means she has no respect for you. For a woman to truly love her man she must respect him for who he is. A woman yearns to follow good leadership.
    That being said, women are being fed so much bullshit these days about how superior they are and many have destroyed their ability to respond to a good man. Too many wimminz and not enough ladies anymore.

  12. You should try marrying a Chinese Princess? Let me tell you, your days of independence are gone forever. If I so much look at another woman – even mention one – I’m dead. It’s got so that when we go out I wear sunglasses all the time so she can’t see my roving eyes – even if it’s cloudy outside. My wife’s not even a Princess – she thinks she’s the Empress of China and expects to be treated as such. Good fuck though. And there in lies the problem – we give up our freedom for sex.

  13. Do your best to rescue the cunt. Some guys can’t see the cunt for the smell of pussy. If you’ve tried your best, you can rest easy. Though prepare for the cunt to come crying to go out for that piss up once it all goes tits up. If he does, don’t entertain the cunt to n the slightest as he will use you so he doesn’t look like a spare prick when goes out and does the EXACT SAME THING with another absolute fucking roastie. Cunts like that are a fucking magnet for cunt. Believe me, I’ve tried helping cunts pick up the pieces only to fuck themselves up again

    • Oh and when my relationship of decades ended, not one of about 6 cunts even phoned me but I know their wives got told about it. Maybe they just thought as my divorce was amicable and didn’t involve either of us meeting anyone else and I helped them soppy cunts that I would be okay and best left alone.

  14. Me and Ethel are locked in a war of attrition, to the death.
    The winner gets to ignore the deceased’s last wishes.
    I can’t wait.
    Get To Fuck.

  15. Very good nom.

    I’ve found that it’s having kids that really changes a bloke.
    I’ve known a few lads that are married but still been out for a regular pint but as soon as kids come along they act like the first and only person to have had one of the little fuckers.
    Then the pints really do dry up.

    • Having kids definitely changes a man, but I reckon for the better.
      You put them before yourself.
      You have their interests before your own.
      It matures a bloke.
      Not me obviously.
      Im childish as fuck,
      But its still true.

      • Me too, MNC. I’d rather be thought of as childish than put up with some miserable cunt.

        The social contract doesn’t exist anymore and this country is finished. No sane man would bring kids in, so what’s the point of marriage? None at all.

  16. What is the difference between your bonus and your penis?

    Your wife will blow your bonus without being asked twice…

  18. I know more than a few guys in this mess, life they hate mapped, the only thing to look forward to is oncoming death to end their miserable existence, mate of mine used to be the life and soul of any party, he was hysterical and a major tail wrangler.
    Now he, s married to an ugly miserable twat from Nottingham with perminantly menstral tension, kid, house that’s going to financially break him, no sex, high blood pressure and no fucking fun ever, I feel for him, but the kindest thing for him now is a bullits in the brain, all this so eventually she can say I don’t love you anymore, I’m fucking someone else and I want the house and your paying for it.
    The there’s the guy next door, Mrs keeps finding shit for him to do, he, s out there now in 28 degree heat digging holes for fence posts on his day off from work, nite are kids and wife, he, s not happy, one day he, s going to snap and do them all in, honestly I reckon the rest of his days in a prison cell would be an improvement.
    Then I have loads of mates who have to secretery treat themselves just to even the score, sad fuckers.
    Mrs Fugly is none of the above, I can within reason do whatever I want when I want….. She ordered me to say that…. Only joking… Not really…. Only joking.
    Younger guys who are wanting for the correct slut to turn up and make them miserable, grow a spine cunts before it’s to late…..

  19. *** Breaking Cunt News ***

    MPs vote by a majority of 401 to continue destroying people’s lives and livelihoods for a further 4 weeks after June 21.

    Alright for those feckless politicians sitting at home doing fuck all for their £80,000 plus expenses, CUNTS.

    • Sorry, that should have read £82,000 plus expenses – plus an extra £10,000 to help them “work” from home.

    • Quite ok with me to go off topic – bloody ridic. 68 people seriously ill with it in all of England’s hospitals as of 5 days ago. 3/4 of those un-vaxxed.

      • It’s not odd at all when you realise there is no virus. These people are falling ill as they would have done anyway, vax or not.

        PCR is falsely ascribing positive status. It’s complete bollocks. The vax does nothing except affect you in a potentially detrimental way.

        We’re a nation of unhealthy glutons. It should be no surprise people get ill.

      • I guess the ones who have been jabbed have only had one dose, two doses of Pfizer 96% protection, AZ 92% protection.
        I think I have got long Covid from the vaccine,I have had a slight headache all day, just wait until winter and all the cunts taking time off with long Covid, it’s inevitable the shirkers and the woke will get it for sure.
        The evidence is that women suffer from long Covid more than men 😂

      • @sick of it. They probably will but the question is if the vaccine can’t infect people with Corona, how can it give any cunt long Covid? I heard through the grapevine Vax side effects would be blamed on this.

        Nobody seems to find it strange that Coronavirus is the same as a right fucking bad dose of proper flu or pneumonia and look Ng could bring d seems to be the new diagnosis for fibromyalgia which is another bizarre condition with no specific tests and doctors seem to label patients with it following tests for everything else being negative. Though they don’t go fucking near most cases have b12 defficiency and or thyroid problems Gap’s are ignoring.

    • They will keep doing it until they’re told not to. It’s just a question of whether it will be their handlers, or an angry public mob.

      It was never about a virus. It’s beyond obvious now.

      • How can you possibly believe this is either a genuine pandemic or governmental incompetence at this point.

        Do you just pretend Florida doesn’t exist? Do you pretend that a handful of hospital admissions constitutes an emergency? Do you just ignore the G7 mockery?

        It’s so fucking obvious 😂

      • That G7 BBQ confirmed that Phillips funeral was a complete fucking pantomime, for the delectation of the plebs.

        Viva-la-revolution👍

      • In what respect am I pretending that a handful of hospital admissions constitutes an emergency? In case you missed it the last dozen times I’ll say it again – all lockdown restrictions should be lifted immediately.

        You ask if I “just ignore the G7 mockery?” Answer: no.

        Not that it makes any difference to ya.

      • I trust Michael Yeadon. He worked for Pfizer for 15 years iirc. He was getting silence big time and threw down the gauntlet to Whitty, Ferguson, Very and Van Tam and told them instead of using MSM power to silence him to prove it in court where he said any challenge would expose SAGE liars. The cunts all went quiet. That silence said it all… https://www.bitchute.com/video/1oiDP7anbZv9/

  20. Norman, two bits of advice from this counter:

    1. Never look in another mans wallet
    2. Never make a negative comment about another mans bitch.

    Both will have the same net result.

    Yours,
    CUNTfuscious General

  21. I have seen great mates fall out over women, over the years.
    Once they have said “I do”, their life will never be the same again.

    To be fair, fucking for England gets boring, eventually.
    Whilst pounding some dirty cow, I used to wistfully imagine myself, 28 degrees C, post digger in hand, sweating over a boundary fence……

    Like fuck…
    🤔🤔

  22. ‘Take that bin out! How many times do I have to tell you? Take it out NOW! And take your shoes off before you come back in! Getting dirt all over my nice clean carpet ! Do you think it cleans itself? You aren’t listening to me! You never listen to a word I say!’ etc etc etc…

    The wife (of my mate Big Al)

    • Next time you are in his house, go the bathroom and nip into the bedroom and leave a pkt of cigarettes on his bedside cabinet or plant a few pairs of boxer shorts in with his washing. Give him something to think about.
      https://youtu.be/SHmPlfW24-E

  26. One of the worst things in the world is not complementing your other half when she comes back home and says “Well, what do you think?” And she stands there waiting for you to say something. But you’re struggling to know what to say because you haven’t got a fucking clue she’s had done!

    Is it her hair?
    Manicure/Pedicure?
    new clothes/shoes?
    New perfume/skin makeover?

    You just know if you say the wrong thing your balls will end up in the jar marked “(whatever it was you fucked up on!)”

      • Whoah that could be read as cunting the cunter

        I merely meant, your majesty, you just say back to her, ” what do I think? …etc”

    • A live-in girlfriend, many moons ago, once remarked that it was always nice to receive flowers ‘out of the blue’ for no apparent reason … I made a mental note.
      Sometime later I ordered flowers to be delivered to her work .. nice touch I thought to myself …. Hee Haw !!! How fucking wrong was I …
      Home she comes at night, I get the flowers in my face, … ‘What the fuck have you been up to ?’ .. Sorry ? .. ‘What’s with the flowers, you’ve been up to no good, you’re trying to get in my good books, nobody sends flowers for no reason …!’
      Women are from Venus …

      • Dons bowler hat:

        “They most certainly are! Hmmmm-hmm!”

        Slaps mate. Removes hat. Stares at camera…

    • Tried to respond to you, Jack, three times with the E word heavily disguised. What a cunt WordPress is.

      • Evening Jack.

        Don’t forget: héinz, jüdgemént, shîtcake and grîstle, while yer at it.

      • I fell foul of exactly that same world 🙁

        Thankfully RTC furnished me with a small glossary of no-no’s.

    • If you want the best advice on wimmim then listen to Patrice Oneal aka The Black Phillip Show.

      No one else has elucidated a clearer philosophy on how to deal with modern women. It’s brilliant.

  30. Right bunch of cynical fuckers.
    Its what its all about,….amour!!
    Nowt wrong with a bit of romance.
    Gets you laid.
    The odd present, bunch of flowers,
    The odd compliment.
    Works wonders.
    And if she tries that henpecking shite?
    Your bigger, stronger!
    Get her in a fuckin headlock!!
    Or a Boston crab!
    Women like men to be men.
    She fucks up the tea?
    Give her a dead arm .
    Me an the missus been together 20+years and its still like a honeymoon.
    Although not talking to me at the moment.
    An probably sleeping on the sofa…😀😀😀

    • My great grandad on my mothers side of the family was a great lump of Irish and according to family lore used to hang his wee little wife on a clothes peg by the door if the tea wasn’t up to much and fuck off down the pub.

      • My mam says if my great grandads tea wasnt upto scratch hed hit the table and the plate would hit the ceiling.
        Back then the men were uncomplicated.
        Everything was as it should be.
        Natural order.
        Anyway I better get these pots washed an dried or I’ll get a bollocking.

      • I understand Miserable, this past year you have had to ask both Mrs M and Boris if you can play out and go down the pub.

    • Ah, romance…..

      When they are young and tight, romance is king

      Middle age, a shag once a month if you’re lucky and haven’t had a few pints, romance s dim and distant memory 😂

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