I used to be an active football fan from the mid 70s to early 90s, following my team (Birmingham City – yeah, I know they’re shite!) both home and away.
One of the great pleasures of going to a ground and standing in the appropriate supporter’s stand, was that of the chanting. Back then we had lovely little ditties like:-
“You’re going home in a fucking ambulance!”
“We hope your balls drop off!”
“No one likes us, we don’t care!”
“Who ate all the pies?”
“Who’s the wanker/bastard in the black?”
“You’re shit and you know you are!”
“Migger, Migger, Lick my boots!”
“Shit on the Villa!”
“What the fucking ‘ell was that!?”
and
“You’re gonna get your fucking heads kicked in!”
There were probably loads more, but I wont bore you any further.
Fact is, these days I doubt if fans sing half of these chants, probably because fans are not allowed due to causing offence.
I can probably understand why racist chants are no longer tolerated, but quite a few chants I’ve heard on TV these days seem rather lame in comparison.
Perhaps its because fans have to sit rather than stand in large tight gatherings; or that some of the newer stadia just don’t have the same cosy atmosphere. Or perhaps modern day fans are just too woke/flakey to want to be seen as aggressive or give hurty feelings to opposition fans probably because there’s more women attending than ever before.
Perhaps I’m simply out of touch because I haven’t bothered going to the grounds since just before the Premier League was born in 1992 and everything turned to corporate shite!
Nominated by: Technocunt
Seconded by: Dark key cunt
I second this cunting with whomever advertised on CNN.
There’s some ad on CNN that says true football fans have no borders. Fuck off. Green Lanes in Norf Laahndon divides the boroughs of Islington and Haringey. South of Green Lanes is Arsenal country. North of it is Tottenham country. Fucking spuds.
(Technically, Woolwich is Arsenal country – NA)
It was Catarrh Airways. The fucking slave-driving cunts.
Iran was going to have a friendly against Millwall before one of the boring competitions in this never ending borefest. ” get your face out , get your your face out , get your face out for the lads” was planned, but the rug munchers, arse in the air cunts called it off.
5
Technocunt is Jasper Carrot and I claim my £5
8
My all time favourites:
Tip toe through the Kippax, with a pickaxe, and a sawn off shotgun
If I should die on the Kippax Street, there’ll be ten blue bastards at my feet
With a nick nack paddywack, give the dog a bone. Why don’t City fuck off home?
My old man said ‘Be a City fan’. And I said ‘Fuck off, you’re a cunt!’
I’d rather shag a bucket with a big hole in it, than be a City fan for a fucking minute
Blue Moon
You started singing too soon You thought you’d beat us 3-1
And now Howard Kendall has gone (from 1990)
We all know that Franny/Swalesie wears a wig (Yellow Submarine)
And the greatest ever from 1983 (to the tune of the Laughing Policeman)
City versus Luton was heading for a draw.
What a load of bollocks, it had just turn half past four.
So David Pleat sent on his sub to see what he could do.
And he sent Man City down to Division Two.
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha etc…
When I put my head out of the window of the 257 bus, and shouted at a blue I know after that Luton game ‘Division Two calling you, Man City!’ I treasure the look on his face and the v-sign to this day. God bless Radi Antic (RIP).
Personally a fan of the Adam Johnson cum on feel the noize song – DA
5
The Villa version of ‘Tiptoe’ was;
‘Oh Tiptoe down the Tilton, with a razor,and a swan-off shotgun…’.
(ducks as Techno hurls a tomato)
3
Football – the game of the working Man, stolen in a whiff of brown envelopes, prawn sandwiches and corruption.
Supporters who dare to stand at non pre-arranged times told to leave the ground, supporters chanting told to stop.
I have been told that applications for tickets for England games are allegedly being pre checked to ensure purchasers full woke and snowflake credentials (I do not know if this is correct or not but will investigate this further) and to preclude the alleged planned mass demonstration tomorrow when REAL supporters were planning to wear white t shirts with “Don’t kneel for racism – stand for equality” on them – not a clue who arranged that one 😀
8
A poster on a forum for the club I still half-follow announced on there yesterday that he has tickets for the semi-final and final and yes, he is so ‘woke’ it is nauseating. Last week one poster called him a ‘self-righteous, smug twat’, and asked him if he ever wondered why half of the other posters have said they would love to meet him to give him a deserved kicking.
Perhaps your theory has some validity?
2
Still some good uns about.
Here’s a personal favourite;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiUklFIUwY4
2
The bird waving that blue flag at the end of that Qatar Airways advert is a bit tasty.
The advert itself is the usual anodyne shit of sponsors jumping on the football bandwagon.
Qatar is full of camel fuckers and peacefuls, therefore a nasty country. Most of the slaves building the stadia there are peacefuls so I am not losing any sleep.
2
(To Que sera)
Steve Gerrard, Gerrard!
He’s big and he’s fucking hard
He’s better than Frank Lampard!
Steve Gerrard, Gerrard!
(My old man’s a dustman)
Posh Spice is a slapper,
She fucking hates Manu
When she’s fucking Beckham,
She thinks of Harry Kewell.
:Does she take it up the arse…
Does she take it up the arse?
4
I remember the Kop singing ‘Remember your a Womble’ at Franny Lee back in the day.
A mate of mine went to all Grimsby games, home and away. At Oldham the home fans were singing the usual Grimsby insults – ‘your shit and you stink of fish’ or somesuch, so the Grimbsy lot (all 25 of them) started singing ‘Town full of P@kis, your just a town full of P@kis’
The stewards went tearing into them straight away.
So being shit and smelling of fish is ok but pointing out that Oldham isnt exactly a fine old Lancashire town anymore gets you ejected.
So it goes.
12
It would have been better
Rumour is you are all groomers, a town full of groomers 😂
3
I’m offended by no physical contact allowed anymore in the game of football.
And by footballers acting like fucking pansies writhing around when they’ve hardly been touched.
And those like Rashford and co receiving in excess of £250,000 a week for being nothing more than average. Ronaldo nowadays on £900k a week, Messi £2m a week. Complete madness.
And the use of Americanisms by referring to “assist” statistics in a game.
And for the cunt Lineker and his stupid glasses and woke comments and insults.
Pundits having different opinion and interpretations using the same evidence.
And the cunts already earning upwards of £1m a month appearing in razor adverts for even more money.
And for those taking the knee obviously.
Used to love the game, now can’t stand it and no longer watch!or have any interest.
It’s all about the money and fuck the supporters.
21
This is the perfect summary of the shitfest that is modern “football”.
8
Well said Sir, especially the assists caper, what a load of bollocks that is.
1
“Who ate all the avocados?”
“You’re white and privileged and you know you are.”
“You’re going home in an Audi”
Etc.
10
The Chelsea Shed at the Bridge. One of the most infamous and intimidating stands in football history. Now? The cunts sell Papaya juice. Papaya fucking juice in the Chelsea Shed? Living proof that the game is well and truly buggered.
9
One of my colleagues many years ago was a member of West Ham’s ICF.
Remember asking once about a game he went to the preceding weekend.
I didn’t see any of it was his response.
6
To the tune of John Philip Sousa’s “The Stars and Stripes Forever” …
♪ ♫ ♪
Here we go, here we go, here we go.
Here we go, here we go, here we go-o.
Here we go, here we go, here we go.
Here we go-o, here we go.
♪ ♫ ♪
Here we go, here we go, here we go.
Here we go, here we go, here we go-o.
Here we go, here we go, here we goooooooooo.
Here we go, here we go, here we go-o.
♪ ♫ ♪
… They don`t write them like that anymore.
10
Gotta love this American hick’s reaction to first hearing a choice selection of ribald and spontaneous English footy chants…
“He fucked all your sheep
He fucked all your sheep
Jimmy Saville he’s fucked all your sheep”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7gZk3tYJ_Q
2
One of my favourites was when Rangers keeper Andy Goram was reported to have a mild form of schizophrenia and the following game opposition fans sang “There’s only two Andy Goram’s”. Originality at its best.
10
No border!? Tell that to Rangers and Celtic fans. The most hate filled sporting event on earth. I believe Man United and Liverpool are a bit nippy towards each other too.
Millwall/West Ham. Nasty stuff – DA
6
Manchester United and Leeds United in the 60s, 70s and 90s (not much action between them in the 80s). Proper rivalry. And anyone who was on the Eindhoven ferry when Man United and West Ham fans were put together will never forget it.
Man United and Cardiff in 1975 (Division 2) was a classic too. All these Cardiff in Clockwork Orange gear and this cunt at the front, who thought he was Bruce Lee doing all the karate poses. He went down like a sack of spuds with one punch and then Doc’s Red Army tore into them. Same happened at Millwall too in the same season.Those were the days.
Also, United vs Palace in 95 was a bit tasty (Eric at Selhurst, the FA Cup semis, Keane stamping on Gareth Southcunt, and plenty of off-field action)
6
Gazza playing the flute at the Old Firm game. Classic.
2
Back in the 1990s Three Cans of old films where found in a Blackburn shop …One real was of a legendary footballer filmed by Mitchell & Kenyon in the early 1900s …. William ” Fatty “Foulke Sheffield United goalkeeper weight 300 lb and was the focus of the chant..
Who ate all the pies was first sung in 1894..
I’m a cunt who gets paid for being a professional historian and archaeologist. Beats working in a Amazon warehouse….
Your other post hit the word filter and I accidentally deleted it, sorry. – DA
5
In 1995, loads of Burntblack Rovers shirts were seen around the Manchester area, worn by gloryhunting cunts. In 2021, I haven’t seen one all year. Funny, that.
Wasn’t Graham ‘El Rentie’ Le Saux a horrible little cunt?
2
I recall in the heatwave of 1976, North West Water were going to give water supplies to certain drought affected parts of Yorkshire and Staffordshire. I remember the Stretford End singing (to Stoke, I think) ‘Piss in your water. We’re gonna piss in your water.’ to the tune of ‘Guantanemera’.
Another classic was in 1986. Pat Phoenix (RIP) had passed away, and the Chelsea fans sang ‘You’d better fucking believe it. Elsie Tanner’s dead’. Old Trafford responded with the Coronation Street theme. And the Chelsea mob in the away end sang the EastEnders theme tune (errr aren’t Chelsea the West End?). The Stretford End and K-Stand then let fly with (to the conga tune) ‘Lofty is a virgin! Lofty is a virgin! Na-na-na-na!’
4
I went to see Liverpool at Arsenal in the late 80s. Grobellar daft cunt wasn’t playing so we had Hooper between the sticks the weekend after his mother had committed suicide. As he stood in goal, a thousand Gooner fans behind him sang, “Hooper Hooper, ‘ow’s yer mum, ‘ow’s yer mum…”
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There was one about Emmanuel Adaybayor’s dad washing elephants, and Robin Van Persie’s “She said no” following certain allegations.
4
My personal favourite is the song sung every time we played Liverpool, to the tune of you never walk alone.
““Sign on, sign on, with a pen, in your hand, ‘cause you’ll ne-ver get a job – you’ll ne-ver get a job.”
That and insulting every fat goalkeeper “You fat bastard” ringing out as they took a goal-kick.
8
Great cunting though why my team Leeds on the pic? Admin not funny!!! Yes Football was a great working class pastime. Now I watch non league and youth games. The passion is still much like how I remember it. Cunts that run it now have well and truly fucked it up.
4
Song I used to remember the Everton cunts singing 10 past 9 its stabbing time. Fucking cunts
2
As a Stoke City fan my fav song to egg on our own Donkey, Kenwyn Jones went as follows.
Kenwyn is a Stokie
He comes from Trinidad
He looks like Woopie Goldberg
His hair is fuckin mad
When he came from Sunderland
This is what he said
Steve Bruce is a Wanker
With a Big fat Fuckin head.
Those were the days.!
3
I was on a bus about 2 weeks ago and a couple of hundred Hibs fans standing outside a pool hall started shouting ” you fat bastards” just because we were on a bus. It was very hurtful as I’m not fat. And the cheeky cunts set off green flares in the street. In the street I say. Ruffians.
1
Mobs, yobs, knobs.
Done in three words.
1
“Who’s got a trust fund, who’s got a trust fund?
“Comin’ ova in ‘t Range Rover, who’s got a trust fund”?
2021 football chant.
2
I remember when Cunt Al Fayed took his ‘pal’ Michael Jackson to Fulham vs Man United at Craven Cottage. Wacko’s face (for want of a better word) was a picture when the United fans sang ‘Another Brick In The Wall’ to him, with the words ‘Hey, Jacko! Leave them kids alone!’
9
A pat on the back for the West Ham fans back in 2015, who told us that “Harry Kane talks like a mong, and plays like one too”. Six years on…. they were ahead of their time back then. I’ve seen shop mannequins look more exciting and been easier to understand than that piss poor excuse of an England captain. The only bigger spastic in the England camp is the Frank Spencer manager. Roll on Tuesday, I’ll be cheering on the Krauts.
3
I beg to Differ Mr Knott, the circus Ch!mp that is Sterling is without doubt the most ridiculous player ever to wear a England shirt, he runs like a Orangutan bosting for a shit.!
3
It is tough to choose between the lot of them BH. They are all cunts of the highest order. I just can’t get behind this bunch of mercenary wankers for the second tournament running. I’m English and British, but am I proud ? Proud of what, proud of the shit-hole messed up nation we are becoming. Proud of watching 11 players on mega wages representing England ? They’re all cunts and I hope Germany take them apart tomorrow evening. It’s just not for me any more. England, run by the FA who are just as dodgy as FIFA and UEFA.
3
Could not agree more, I just can’t get on board with the dropping to the knee either.!
2
Is it true that Brighton fans used to chant ‘come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough’?
2
Van Persie
When a girl says no
Molest her.
To the tune of Rewind by Craig David and Artful Dodger.
2
@NA 27 years we were in the wastes of Saaahf Laahndan. Well over one ‘undred in Norf Lahndan. Pfft.
When Kanu scored against the Scousers after we’d sold them Anelka.
Chim chimeree, chim chimeree, chim chim cheroo.
Who needs Anelka when we’ve got Kanu.
After we signed Eduardo Silva.
He came when Thierry Henry left, Edi, Edi.
He scored more goals than Darren Bent, Edi, Edi.
He broke his leg and now’s he back.
And Darren Bent’s still fuckin’ crap.
Eduardo Silva.
Arsenal’s number 9.
After we signed Sol Campbell.
Double. Double. Sol Campbell won the Double.
And the scum from the lane
Have won fuck all again
But Sol Campbell won the double.
After Bale left for Real Madrid.
Where’s your monkey gone.
Where’s your monkey gone.
Arsenal till I die.
Fuck off, the spuds.
3
Could you go a chicken supper Bobby Sands?
3