Shall I compare him to a massive cunt?
Yes I will.
I know that entertainment was a bit thin on the ground in the late 1500’s, but the fucking rubbish that this slap head used to churn out was awful. It seems like then, just like now, people would turn up to watch any old shit packaged as entertainment.
I remember having to read Macbeth in school.There was a few paragraphs of the actual play followed by half a page of explanation of what those few paragraphs meant. And then it was up to us, the students to try and decipher the nonsense for our O level.
It was the equivalent of watching an episode of 3 – 2 – 1 with Dusty Bin.
Nobody had a fucking clue what was going on.
William Shakespeare…. Bard (stard).
Nominated by: The Artful Cunter
His historical stories are shite anyway. His Richard III is total bollocks. Dickie Mark III wasn’t an ugly cunt who hopped around like Quasi on crack. He also apparently fought his bollocks off at Bosworth Field and and died like a man. That ‘My kingdom for a horse’ stuff is a load of twaddle. Tudor propaganda that would put Goebbels in the shade.
And Romeo and Juliet is a big pile of crap and all.
11
Maybe a bit nerdy for this forum, but Romeo and Juliet is a resetting of an old legend Tristand and Isolde. plagiarising cunt
6
A lot of the difficult, densely- worded passages are to do with hidden beliefs and coded politics explored in Clarke Asquith’s book ‘Shadowplay’.
4
Shakespeare?
Utter bollocks in a language I barely understand.
Appalling.
The Bard?
He fkin well should be!
7
Give him his due Shakespoke loved a bit of cunt as did his audiences – but that was long before woke cunt academics highjacked the bard.
https://neianeia.wordpress.com/2011/04/19/shakespeare-was-a-big-fan-of-the-word-cunt/.
6
I found that link so erotic and esoteric, I had to go and “knock one out”, instantly🤔
5
His stuff is pure shite whether you look at if from a 16th century point of view or from today’s point of view. In school we were assigned a few of his trash plays. I couldn’t get beyond the second page of any of them, thinking what the fuck is this cunt-nugget trying to say. So I opted to fail all the tests about Shakespeare, and tried hard to do somewhat above average on the other assignments. Ended up almost flunking my 9th grade English class, but just made the lowest passing grade it by a point or two. All because of this 16th century cunt who is today beloved by every LGBT++++ English teacher.
4
Boomer:
I take it from 9th grade, you are an American cunter?
If so, the Bard was is hard for colonials to appreciate.
A bit like Tennessee Williams over here.
John Steinbeck however, was most enjoyable.👍
3
Yes Sir, General. I’m on the other side of the pond. Maybe I should have one of my British friends translate the Cunt-Bard’s plays for me. Probably would still think he’s a cunt.
0
Yes the language is difficult but I think the real problem is we get it shoved down our throats at school. Now back in the day I developed a taste for the Russian classics…..Dostoevsky, Gogol, Turgenev, Chekhov etc. Some time later I was going out with this Russian bird (massive tits and arse, luvvly jubbly) and I thought she would be well impressed with my knowledge of Russian literature. Sadly they get that stuff shoved down their throats at school like we get Shaky so she thought I was a cunt. She still got Freddie’s pearl necklace though.
I can only hope that schoolkids today are as pissed off with the wokery pokery as we were with the Bard. They fucking better be or we are fucked, the cunts.
8
I had to do Macbeth at O level along with the History of Mr Polly, a right load of bollocks.
I have vague memories of watching Macbeth at the cinema and going to see Midsummer Nights Dream at the the theatre.
Some of it must have sunk in because I got a grade 4 for English Lit, which wasn’t bad considering I had no interest whatsoever 😂
I much preferred Jane Fonda in Barbarella getting her tits out 👍
5
The History of Mr Polly must be the slowest moving novel I ever attempted to read. I rarely give up part way through a book but Mr Polly defeated me.
3
How sad that fellow ISACers do not appreciate the great novel that inspired my nom de plume. I weep for the future of humanity.
1
Mr Polly, you should change your ‘nom de plume’ to something more appreciated by the more depraved denizens of this site. I’m sure that the creative preverts ( Col. Bat Guano has the copyright) will offer fruity advice.
Nom de plume? You ain’t a fucking Frog perchance?
2
Whereas ‘The History of Mr Polly’ was a corking good read and great film.
2
Well knock me down with a pig’s bladder tied to as stick, at risk of seeming a total cunt, I must disagree with Mr Artful. I fucking love Shakespeare. Plenty of sex, gore, and quality banter. Ye olde entertainment at its finest. Forsooth, bear baiting was fun too, allegedly.
6
Always thought he was African.
3
Even when you hate the bard you have no idea how much he is very much alive and affecting your life every day, even here. Every story, book, joke comes from him. He invented every story, there are about 5.
5
Indeed-most modern literature or film is loosely based on the precepts of his work.
4
Earned my A level grade B in English Lit, thanks in part to this arty cunt.
Still bored the tits off me though, especially having to go to amdrams productions of his more accessible plays – all of which were bollocks.
No doubt the Wokes will suggest he was gay with tranny leanings. Or that he was a racist, sexist homophobic cunt. As such the Wokes will insist he is erased from history, along with his books.
“Romeo, Romeo, Where the fuck are you, Romeo, you lazy cunt?”
8
Romeo-wasn’t he that nasty, thick “gangsta-soldja” from ill fated jig-a-jig beat combo, “So Solid Crew”?
😀
6
Fuckin Philistines.
Problem on here is none of you are cultured like me.
I love Shakespeare.
The bard.
Obviously ive never sat through one of his plays,
Or read them,
Fuck that!
But I like his little goatee and neck ruff.
You cunts should elevate yourselves rather than sat in your vests & undercrackers eating baked beans from a tin.
Common you lot.
13
I can picture you, ensconced in your own 15th century Peak District house, a flagon of foamy ale in hand, feet up by a roaring fire in the Inglenook, faithful hound snoring contentedly 😀
Goode wife Miserable, reading sonnets by firelight, perchance some medieval lute music on the stereo👍
Don’t forget to invite your IsAC chums😉
8
CG@
We didn’t get taught about Shakespeare at our school.
So when watching the film ‘Withnail & I ‘ at the end he quotes Hamlets solliquoy at the wolves in Regents Park,
It blew my fuckin mind!!
I really liked it, never heard owt like it before!
Won me over.
Hes a fuckin genius.🇬🇧🇬🇧
9
Frank Gallagher in Shameless said it best. After leaving the boozer off his bollocks reciting Shakespeare he stops to take a piss into an open manhole but fails to notice the generator that is heard running. His final inner monologue words before he passes out having been electrocuted are “Fucking Shakespeare, what a cunt.”
0
Fuckin el miserable .”what piece of work is a man.” No one had written that down before except in the bible for bible bashers. He would be on here
2
After studying Richard II for A level, I cannot go along with this cunting.
Same goes for Chaucer.
Never mind, when the Wokes finally triumph their books will be no more, along with the rest of our great heritage.
10
Richard II is now a BAME woman on the theatre. The world has gone fucking insane.
4
Norman, have you done your duty and Cunted griefjacker Maddogga?
She has announced she is absolutely heartbroken over the death of Nick Kamen!
4
It should be mandatory at skool. There’s too much dumbing down. I did Julius Caesar and Macbeth. Keep the standards up. I also did Lord of the Flies,Animal Farm,Catcher in the Rye,Ice Station Zebra and The Beano.
I also had encyclopedia collections of The World of Wildlife and World War 2.
I played rugby,did cross cuntry and used words like poof,cunt,fanny,homo,jew,paki,kraut and I ate mars bars and cold bacon sandwiches.
I also smoked and drank from 16 onwards and got belted at least once a week for being a toe rag. Wtf is wrong with folk today?
18
A cunter after my own heart👍
7
I cannot agree with this cunting in its entirety.
Granted, some of the Tragedies can be tedious, and the archaic language can be challenging.
A hugely prolific writer. Shakespeare was much more than just a playwright. Some of his lesser-known Sonnets are nothing short of genius.
Perhaps we should be celebrating the fact that something from our past is so revered worldwide,- in a time when everything else from our history is being swiftly erased?
14
Totally agree. And the language is not too difficult to master, once you develop an ear for the sound and rhythm. Chaucer is far more challenging.
4
Yes, Chaucer is far more challenging.
I suppose considering he was writing in the 14th Century, such difficultly is hardly surprising!
Language is constantly evolving.
I haven’t a clue what some of the kids of today are harping on about!
4
Yes, you’re right. Chaucer is a cake walk compared to some of today’s “yuuf” vocabulary
4
The new ‘yooof’
language is soooooo lush.
Shakespeer woz well reem bk in da day, i’m tellin u bro. That yoof had it pure goin on.
5
He was English at least.
Had to sit through Julius Caesar as a teenager for exams.
Not for me.
Prefer Blackadder.
5
Without Willy-Shake, there would not be any Blackadder😀
11
Hated it at school. Midsummer Night’s Dream has got to be the gayest pile of shite every written.
The tragedies are turgid and the ‘comedies’ have plots that are utterly fucking ridiculous. Ahead of his time in the tranny dept though.
4
Troilus and Cressida! WTF????
2
What about the poetry?
The dude went from bard to verse.
9
We’ve got an Islamist militant living in our street who’s also a huge fan of Shakespeare.
Alluha Akbard….
5
Arthur C Clarke and Asimov during English Lit. Shame they weren’t on the syllabus. Luckily we had Twelfth Night which I recall was OK and William Golding’s Lord of the Flies which I thought was a good book. Those 2 got me a D at O’ level which was lucky as I never got past page 5 of either Julius Caeser or the Mayor of fucking Casterbridge.
3
I like Clarke and Asimov, along with Philip K Dick and many other science fiction writers. But their strength, as with a lot of sci-fi, is in their ideas and world building. The prose can be a bit turgid and the characterisation weak. Best and most literate sci-fi writer was Gene Wolf I think. His Book of the New Sun was wonderful.
4
“A cunt by any other name would smell as sweet.”
1
Put it here as well-
Oh my anonymity is in jeapordy Admin. Don’t release the posts in moderation please. Thanks.
(No worries. Your particular comments have been deleted – DA)
0
That could be the strap line to a certain Ms Paltrow’s range of products.
1
No, no, no. I can’t agree with this Cunting. Shakespeare is the supreme poet and dramatist of the West – the world in fact. Even in China Shakespeare is respected. The word “genius” is bandied around a lot, but Shakespeare truly was a genius. Develop a liking for Shakespeare and you will be rewarded for the rest of your life – he will continually inspire you.
Another reason for appreciating the Bard – he was English and is by far and away our major cultural import. He is acknowledged as the greatest writer that ever lived. Even if you don’t enjoy his work you should respect him.
Teaching Shakespeare at school should be mandatory, along with Chaucer in my view. No ifs and no buts.
Worse Cunting ever – although I suspect, a bit tongue in cheek.
‘Shall I compare thee to a Summers night?
Or whop it in thee straightaway”
6
I meant export not import.
2
Perfectly articulated, if I might say so. 👍
2
You’re a gentleman, Ruff Tuff.
‘And though that he were worthy, he was wys,
And of his port as meeke as is a mayde.
He nevere yet no vileynye ne sayde,
In al his lyf, unto no maner wight.
He was a verray, parfit, gentil knyght.’
Chaucer.
2
I did Wife of Bath for A level. It were ace.
2
Fuck, I’ve been dozing this afternoon. And then I wake up to the horror of seeing Shakespeare cunted on ISAC. Outrageous. Don’t you know Shakespeare hated cunts and would have been on ISAC if he was around today.
Shakespeare, rather than directly referring to “cunt” or “cunny,” alludied to the word in suggestive disguise forms like “cut,” “constable,” and “country.” For instance, in Act Three Scene 2 of Hamlet, in which Hamlet says, “Do you think I mean country matters?” followed by, “That’s a fair thought to lie between a maid’s legs.”
Give the guy a break.
4
‘Youre too keen Sire’.
1
“O, most true! She is a strumpet.”
1
No got it wrong CF
Ophelia: “you are keen my lord”.
Hamlet: “it would cost you a groaning to take off my edge”.
That’s Hamlet referring to his pork sword.
1
Lovely stuff, Miles. Shakespeare was really a dirty sod –
‘Graze on my lips, and if those hills be dry
Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie”.
Venus and Adonis.
2
Great name though William Shakespeare. I suupose in fabled ‘Unbongo land’ there might be someone with a similar kind of name. William ‘Speak Chucker’ or William ‘Sabre- Rattler’. You never know.
3
In universities today the traditional English curriculum of greats is derided. They are “dead, white males” and therefore have nothing of importance to say and are abandoned for pointless, obscure effniks and Africunt female poets, who are usually aesthetically inferior and of no value whatsoever. Chaucer is being abandoned on some English Literature curriculums. They haven’t dared cancel Shakespeare, but they’ll get round to him soon. When that happens we may as well switch the lights off.
3
Ray Bradbury should also be compulsory. I liked the short story involving the guy who refused to stay home and watch his viewing screen and was picked up by a robotic cop car. Creepy but vivid.
1
I like Ray Bradbury too. Great short story writer. Sci-fi excels in short stories
1
I reckon there should be porn remakes of his plays:
Julie Ass-Pleaser
Two Gentlemen on Veronica
As You Lick It
The Teen-Piss
Come On My Anus
A Midsummer Night’s Cream
King Leer
… you get the idea.
3
Richard the Turd for the scat fans?
1