The Vegan Armed Forces

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The British Armed Forces

Apparently vegan soldiers and airmen are despondent due to the lack of vegan meal options in the Armed Forces. To add insult to injury, woke servicemen are also having to buy their own vegan Doc Martens (is there such a thing? – Ed.) because they cannot in all conscience wear the standard issue leather boots.

Quite right too!

A Vegan Society spokesperson bleated:

“Vegans in the UK, whether they serve in the British Forces or not, have the protection of human rights and equality law. Employers must do everything they can to remove any observed disadvantages faced by vegans. The Vegan Society has heard first-hand from those serving in the Army and RAF who have struggled, not only when it comes to the food on offer but also with uniforms, some having to buy vegan footwear at their own expense!

“These barriers not only make it more difficult for those already following a vegan lifestyle but also have the potential to put off those in the British Forces that are keen to give veganism a go.”

Pro-vegan Jo Foster, claiming to have inside knowledge of the Marines, informed your intrepid ISAC reporter that one Royal Marines training exercise ends with the slaughter and eating of a live rabbit or chicken.

“I didn’t join the Marines to kill rabbits and chickens”, whined Jo, “I signed up to kill people!”

A spokesperson for The Guild of Uphill Gardeners said:

“Guild president Gladimir Putin is quaking in his size 7 Pride issue marching boots.”

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9570595/Soldiers-moan-lack-plant-based-options-Armed-Forces.html

This Country Is Finished.

Nominated by: Ruff Tuff Creampuff 

101 thoughts on “The Vegan Armed Forces”

  1. Once this woke victimisation shite infiltrates the army we’re finished. It’s already infiltrated the police. These cunts need to be put on short rations and 15 mile a day marches in full combat gear so they can get their priorities straight. The last thing we need is soy-boy soldiers.

  2. Not woke enough, sorry.

    What about the trannies? Surely they can parachute in wearing high heels and a ball gown? It would be trannyphobic and probably racist if you didn’t allow this.

    Of course, if caught in jungle warfare and separated from their unit, a vegan tranny Royal Marine could live off berries and make an environmentally friendly yurt (no wood from the trees allowed of course). The tranny could simply make a home out of weeds and stones they may find in the jungle? Probably decorate it really nicely as well.

    This country is finished.

  4. Then the enemy have already won the War!

    On the battlefield they will just charge these pansies and throw pork chops and chicken drumsticks at them, then watch them mince away shrieking “It touched me, get it off, get it off!”

    Fuck off!

  5. Why the fuck would anyone join the Army for the menu? I asked my Brother (former Army Officer) for his take on this – “I would throttle them with my bare fucking hands” was the wholly correct response.
    Jack The Cunter will be Armed Forces Minister when I am in charge.
    Vegan soy cunts will be used as sandbags and target practice.
    Topping nom RTC.

  6. I suppose that this load of tosh represents the pinnacle of wokeness‘,I am so important that the armed forces must abandon practices which have served them well for centuries ‘.
    These morons appear to be unaware that the current systems work; what they are seeking will impair the efficiency of the armed forces.
    Having said this , I doubt the veracity of he story; no names of serving military personnel are mentioned. I suspect that the article is the product of a group of weird ones who overdosed on dandelion leaves or similar.

  7. I was always told that an army marches on its stomach. Soldiers needs wholesome food like sizzling steaks, sauages and mushroom butties and a large haddock and chips to keep their energy levels up.

    If stuck in the wild, they need to know how to sautee a squirrel or bake a badger to ensure they stay alive. What are these silly cunts going to do – munch on some tasty chickweed or a few dandelions? Barlarks!

    Good nom.

    • Paul-if we ever got stranded in the wilderness, on the IsAC jolly boys outing, rest assured I can go full “Grizzly Adams” when necessary-You wouldn’t starve. (Have the shits, maybe.)

      Badger burgers, stir-fried Squirrel, Rabbit surprise (no rabbit-more squirrel, Nettle tea. Handsome!

    • I’m sure these cunts get more than enough sausage and I reckon I know where they put it too.

    • Thanks Cuntfinder – Harvey is pure fucking genius!

      Btw, I’d forgotten Katie Price is black – a fuck sight blacker than that fake blick slag, MeAgain Markle.

      Sad that she feels the need to culturally appropriate white women’s celebricunt hair though.

  9. I can see it now – foxhole in the middle of the combat zone, everyone stops so Tarquin can get his drone delivery of plant based protein and vegan footwear.
    I would blue on blue the fuckers and make the survivors eat the corpses.

  10. The British Army is a joke. It hasn’t won a conflict since 1982.it will never win another . Look up Russian and Chinese recruitment videos. The British army in the field will be massacred if they ever get involved. I’m not denigrating the people who serve. I’m just pointing out what a waste of time it is to do so. We’ve already been invaded.

    • If the Royal Navy cannot stop thousands coming by rubber boat what the point of HMS Queen Elizabeth. What a load of bollocks . No wonder the cunts Cannot find enough people the man them. Cunts

      • I thought they were using it as a ferry to save the dinghy paddlers from exerting themselves too much. After all, they need the energy to run off (to the nearest Benefits Office) when they touch ground.

    • Well, if they form a battalion of ‘The Queen’s Own Chairborne Warriors’, I’m sure you’ll be up for a direct commission as CO of the REMF section.

      • Great Ad. I like the way they cut off the radio message so the guy has peace and quiet. They might’ve been calling thru to say ” Be careful. Heavily armed enemy 10 yards beh………”. Bellends
        .

      • The message coming through from the sky fairy is more important that ops

  11. So how the fuck will they kill the enemy. I understood that part of the British Army field craft was to kill, skin and cook a rabbit. Silly cunts. After having watched the Russian Army 2021 victory parade (100% white soldiers) I really cannot see us winning any conflict with the Ruskies. We could probably beat them in the handbag fights with our 1st Tranny Division.

  12. Can’t imagine there are too many vegans wanting to join the armed forces.

    Strange logic too- preferring the thought of murdering a foreigner but not an animal.

    Hold on a second, as a vegetarian for over 50 years, now that I think about it………

  13. It’s a fucking good job we aren’t presently trying to turn Rommel out of Tobruk.
    What a mess.
    Field Marshal Montgomery must be turning in his grave.

    • Indeed Terry, better off chucking the chickpea curries and gluten free granola at the Huns than eating the bastard.

  14. The solution to the problem faced by these vegan soldiers is quite simple.

    Don’t be a fucking vegan.

    They don’t have to be. Not eating meat or anything from an animal is a fad. It’s personal choice.
    The way these attention seeking vegans carry on you would think that meat would kill them.
    It won’t, so put up with it and what you want to eat in your own time is up to you.

    Vegans outside of the armed forces are also a pain in the fucking arse, always seeking out vegan alternatives on restaurant menus.
    Here is an alternative for them.
    Meat.
    Shut the fuck up and put up with it for a night.
    It won’t kill you, you cunt.

  15. This is like joining a football club then whining that it plays football.
    A soldier MUST be self sufficient in the field – not standing around mincing and cwwying because some beast has chopped up dear little Peter Wabbit.
    We need Unkle Terrys military ovens.

  16. An army does not march on its stomach. It marches on its feet.

    If there was a better alternative to leather boots then the armed forces would use them.

    Having fucked feet on a battlefield makes you a burden to your fellow soldiers.

    Self centered cunts.

  17. From experience I refer them to Regulation XXVII Section 20, Subsection 9a. Also listed under “SUAEI” in the index.
    SHUT UP AND EAT IT!
    Remember, the hardest Course in the Royal Navy is the Cook’s Course. In over 400 years, nobody has passed it…

  18. Sadly there are trannies , shirt lifters and all sorts of undesireables in today’s forces, and we most certainly are fucked. Left right left right, mince mince mince to the Regimental March recently written by Dame. FFS ! Elton

    • I was present at a military ceremony where this chap was presenting the awards-he came across as a bullshit free, common sense sort of soldier.
      🤔

  20. I see, vegans wont wear Dr Martins because they are leather quite happy to pop some guy who cant afford a meal and a bar of soap to in the fucking head, or even drop bombs into the middle of a village.
    The hypocrisy is fucking mind blowing, i hasten to add i have no problem eating meat and wearing DM,S and this means when one whines at me again about eating the steak i have just murdered i will have sufficient energy to jump up and remove all his front teeth with my DM,S.
    As far as the armed forces go i know there are few guys here who will dispair at who goes into the forces these days Vegans,faggots,trannies and retards, couple that to the funding cuts and layoffs, not to mention out dated or fucked technology, meaning when the army rocks up in the the third world somewhere all the locals have to do is ring their solicitor and tell our collection of wankers and wierdo,s to fuck off and thats the end of that, or the may get sued in 30 years time….god help us all, i suppose we can have our guys tell them to sit on the naughty step……

    • ‘As far as the armed forces go i know there are few guys here who will dispair at who goes into the forces these days’

      Makes me want to weep.

  21. I hope this vegan shite is not going to be depicted in Commando Comics.

    • Look forward to new Commando titles like “Sapper Soyboy” and “Operation Vegetable”.

  22. Monty Phython’s “precision drilling” sketch comes to mind looking at the current state of the once majestic British armed forces, vegan shit on top has sealed their fate, silly cunts!!!

  23. When these “soldiers” are locked up in a Chinky POW camp (assuming they have surrendered like a bunch of gays) we’ll see how fussy they are about their food. They’ll scoff down dog and fried rice and be fucking grateful I reckon.
    Charlie Chan won’t give a fuck.

  25. A fine nom Ruffers, we have already had training standards dropped for obese soldiers, the adverts for soldiers with mental health issues and the usual pandering to transbenders and The Gays so vegan squaddies was a natural progression.

    Ps, enjoying your debut book ‘This Country is Finished : Volume One’, the rise of Blair and New Labour.

    • Thanks for the plug, LL.

      Expect an extra satsuma in your stocking this Christmas! 🙂

  26. I can see we’ll have to rename some of these regiments……

    The Grenadier Gays
    Izzard’s Infantry
    The Territorial Trannies
    Schofield’s Arsehole Service

    Yeah, that’s more like it.

  29. First responsibility of government isn’t to provide fucking vegan meals and vegan fucking wellies.

    Waste money of the bone idle feckless cunts, trannies, BLM and loving muzzie cunts rather than building a first class army navy and airforce and a decent police force that doesn’t take the fucking knee or chant ‘freedom for Palestine’

    The country is definitely finished.

  30. I march on a steady diet of ginger beaver. With an empty sac I can March further and with better morale.

    • Ginger Beaver? Is that indigenous North American wildlife or someone like Tiffany ?
      She aged really well😋

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