My Dumb Wife

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I want to cunt my fuckin wife.

She is one brainless fuckin twat. She has until recently self isolated because Boris and the medical fuckers said she must self isolate.

Ok no problem, I said today, after restrictions were relaxed would she still lock down again if told to do so. She said she would be happy to be on lockdown again if that’s what the government said.

What a fuckin sheep who is happy to be in perpetual lockdown. Boris said that the current covid bollocks has nothing to do with the vaccination but all to do with lockdown, preparing the way for yet another lockdown in the winter.

After all the bollocks we’ve been through my brainless missus said that she would still self isolate if told to do so.

She is a cunt and I told her so. Mind you she does cook a nice dinner. Mind you her mother was an obstreperous cunt.

Time I found a younger piece of fanny.

Nominated by: DLP

79 thoughts on “My Dumb Wife”

  1. I think it’s time ,we will have to learn to live with this flu. It’s like life expectancy will have to be re-evaluated. Most of the deaths were people with low deficiency in the vitamin D department and also other illnesses compounding the effect of the flu. For the most part people of common blood types and generally healthy are hugely resilient to its worst effects. So all this stay safe and follow the guidelines is fine but how long can you lockdown for 10 years. Just open up and let the worst of it pass and if I die of it so be it. The system cannot save everyone

      • I was referring to the said wife of fellow cunter being a sheep and willing to lockdown again at the behest of borrissey . My post wasn’t put up until awhile ago so everyone went on about wives and cunts. I probably interpreted the original post arseways . Ah fuck it cunts

      • Did you comment on a nom?

        Which case, you are a cunt!

        But DA or NA, why?

        You know the rules. Don’t cunt other cunters. Consider yourself told. – NA

      • Well that was not my intention but yes on mature reflection I probably did So learned a bit ,that it was not my nomination

    • Mecuntry, your replies are very respectful and you are entitled to your opinion, which I will add addressed the original point of the nomination very well.

  3. My ex wife was and is a cunt. But her fault was, she wasn’t a sheep, she tried to think for herself.
    But as she was stupid it never ended well.
    I wouldn’t get married again, even if the hair round her fanny was mink.

  4. Women really shouldn’t have the vote. It’s all gone down hill since they got it. The British Empire was controlled from London, by men with 150 tons of gold. Today were bankrupt with government “spending” otherwise known as printing money. We’re fucked with all their lovey dovey bullshit.

  5. When you meet a bird, rule of thumb, check out her Mum. Normally pretty accurate. I definitely dodged a few bullets down the years. Looks, mannerisms, the lot. I sit here happy today knowing I’ve done alright. Saying that so has Mrs K.

  6. My ex partner was evil in every way – luckily I saw the light and she saw the door.
    Miss busty is much better 😀👍💪

    • Way I see it is, its you against the world.
      Any allies you pick up along the way is a bonus.
      Family is important so is family loyalty.
      Friends, real long term ones too,
      Any one who always got your back are worth their weight in gold.
      So treat em good!
      Focus on the dinner!!😀👍

  8. Your wife and I have been having an affair for the last 12 years!

    Fuck off!

  9. 🎶. We sang shang-a-lang
    And we ran with the gang
    Doin’ doo-op-dooby-doo-i. 🎶
    Dead Pool – Did anyone have Les McKeown of Bay City Rollers who’s died aged 65?

    • He looks to have escaped the IsAC ghouls, Bertie. I will stick to picking your schoolboy crushes, Mavis from Corrie and Kirk Douglas’ widow. Recent pictures of Jane Fonda led me to believe she probably has at least another 10-15 years of yoga videos in her so I discounted her.

    • My neighbour in New Moston had Rollermania in the 70s. She had the baseball boots, tartan scarf, the flares, badges, the lot.

      Jim ‘Bat Out Of Hell’ Steinman has also died too. ‘Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad’ is a classic ‘dumped’ song.

      • Shit. I was thinking of nominating Steinman yesterday in the Dead Poll. Was saving him up for next time.

        I loved Dead Ringer For Love when I was a kid. One of the best rock anthems of the 80’s.

  10. My ex Mrs was a total heap of shit, cost my abit to get rid of her, but I’m alot happier without the cunt.

  11. Not having met your wife I don’t feel able to endorse your cunting of her.

    Have you tried marriage guidance counselling?

  12. I’m very lucky with Mrs Norman. Anti-woke, hates Me Too feminism, an authority on prog rock, loathes BLM and the Floyd George worship, and a prime class A milf and all. OK, we have no kids ( she can’t have ’em), but she’s well tasty for a lady over the 40 mark.

    • I must be as lucky as you, Norman. Been married 46 years, no complaints and no regrets. Mrs Brain holds views similar to Mrs Norman from what you say. Doesn’t post on ISaC because we’re too left wing for her taste. Our two daughters mind, both good sorts but have cost us a fucking fortune over the years. Mainly I think due to the men they have met generally turning out to be a waste of space.

    • I wish my Missus would ‘tolerate’ Prog rock, – let alone be an authority on it.

      Pink Floyd is just about acceptable in her view, – except for Piper At The Gates Of Dawn. Early Genesis is frowned upon, and ELP drives her up the wall!

  13. Re nomination:

    Sounds like she has got Stockholm Syndrome-which is exactly what was the intention😢

  14. Somewhat unfair DLP, she should be allowed a reciprocal cunting.

    Maybe this site could allow a guest, one time only chance to Mrs. DLP.

    I’d surely like to know how she views you.

    Personally, I think you’re out of order so..

    Get out of my pub!

    • If everyone was like the OP’s wife, and had done the sensible thing as we were advised, the pandemic would have all but died a death in this country. But no, there are so many clever cunts who know more than the doctors who advise the politicians, and that’s why loads of people are still catching it and dying from it.

      • No Allan.
        If that’s the bollocks that you’ve been sold and are willing to believe then maybe another angle could have been the closing of the fucking borders from day one and people wouldn’t have to behave like fucking paranoid gimps in masks.

  15. Don’t bother with a young lass.

    They are majority woke and left-wing agenda
    peddlers.

    Will have you going to a BLM rally within months.

    Uber Eats and Just Eat muck for you tea every night.

    Clean clothes you need, still in the wash basket where you put them a week ago.

    House like a shit tip.

    Will aim to control you with her fanny, and will clear out your bank account in weeks.

    Tried this younger fluff lark in the late 1960’s and
    it cost me a small fortune. Even worse when
    I had to grovel to get back in with the old missus.

    Stick with the old battle axe.

    • I agree, Dick.

      Almost all women under 35 are totally fucking mental.

      And Sir Laurence Fox said that.

  17. Oh that’s fucking funny. Best part of me day a morning fag and checking in here. Tell your wife to go live in New Zealand. She’d be right happy living under the reign of Jacinda Ardern who has everyone under perpetual lockdown, the mingey woke Cunt. At least that’s what the Telegraph called her. Eat your dinner and have a make up up shag. Fuck off with the therapists they’re just moochy grifters.

    • Jacinda is now cosying up to the genocidal Chinese Communists. I wonder how the Wokerati will react to that? Probably won’t give a toss. Their more obsessed with the imaginary dark key genocide in the West rather than the real one that’s happening under their noses.

  18. No rule on this site about cunting people in one’s personal life? How can we have any real input if you cunt a family member or neighbor etc? I have a family full of counts but who cares? At least cunt someone who shows up in Google please.
    Just sayin.

    • Quite agree Meat Curtains.
      He probably has a vehicle reg plate with DLP on it.
      It probably means something to him but I’m fucked if I know what it means.

    • Absolutely agree MC, unfair unless the cunted gets a chance to cunt back, but yes.
      I don’t care if you think your missis/ mother in law is a cunt, lizard person, La Boor voter.

      Don’t make it about family, unless it’s the fucking Kardashians.

    • For all we know DLP is married to Diane Abbott and she not not only shows up in Google but from space.

  19. If she loves lockdown that much then she should go shack up with with Twat Mancock and let him rithe his forked snake tongue across her bean whilst Bojo bludgeons her bumhole and Bliar shits a demon fudge dragon across her mouth.

    Cunt.

    • Incidentally, what do you discuss at the dinner table with mum and dad when you go home to visit?

      • I’m surprised Chunky that you’ve survived so long given the site rules.

      • Your baiting attempts are preschool level at best. You ask a personal question you have no right to be asking given your consistent attitude towards me.

        So just in case there was a misunderstanding, fuck off, you cunt.

      • He has never left home, Bertie, can’t you tell?

        The nearest he got to leaving was running up the stairs shouting “IT ISN’T FAIR” to his father (because he was asked to do the washing up) and stuffing some clothes into a black bin-liner! When he realised he had nowhere to go and fuck all money he just stayed in his room all evening crying and listening to Billie Elish.

      • I think you are just been cruel, RTCP! You know very well he had to split that winnings with the older boy that he got to buy it for him in the first place!

        Good eveningsong.

      • I feel sorry for you Chunky. Your reaction is very juvenile. You seem to have no trouble dishing it out but difficulty in taking it back.
        I’ve seen people banned for less than your liberal use of calling others cunts.

      • Do you even think about your own actions? Baiting is juvenile. Me telling you to shut up and leave me alone is neither here nor there.

        And you want to cry to the admins about it? Again, that’s juvenile. You manufactured this situation, not me.

        I don’t bait others, or call them cunts for nothing.

  20. Now some of you know, I have bits falling off me.
    Mind is fine but body is not so good.
    one of my fondest memory’s of lock down was when Mrs B thought she had covid and self isolated in the bedroom.
    It was a wankfest I will tell you, almost 24hr internet porn!

    • My Lord, may I suggest that coughing in front of your wife and saying something like, “Phew, I feel a bit hot love”, might result in a return to your Xanadu: Wankathon mk2👍

  21. I can’t cunt my missus. She is a good egg, very bright and articulate and a good laugh. She doesn’t ‘get’ my warped SOH and love of old music and old cars, but you can’t have everything.

    My ex-missus was a complete fucking shithouse. A greedy, loose-knickered, conniving, lazy, money-obsessed old bag. When we split, my friend kindly offered his services as a sort of east country version of Fred West. As tempting as it was, and as good at digging he was, I didn’t fancy porridge and sharing a cell with some giant-handed 6’8″ h0m0.

  22. My wife pinches herself every morning. So that she realises how fucking lucky she is.

    Advice given to me growing up…. Always marry a woman with small hands.

    • I’m sure I am going to regret this but I’m absolutely overwhelmed with curiosity.

      Marry a woman with small hands, why?

      Because when she runs away she can’t clutch too many of your valuables?

      • GJ got it in one. Makes your cock look bigger.
        Not that I ever needed to as mine has a hinge on it.

        As for Janet Krankie, I feel fucking sick now.

  23. Ex wife, just the one, lying cheating nasty piece of work. Did think of cunting her, or her behaviour, or mostly the whole divorce process, but in the end she wasn’t worth the effort. Someone else’s problem now, and he will at some point find out that she doesn’t do single, so when she isn’t happy with you, she’s already banging someone else.
    Thank fuck she left before the menopause kicked in.

  24. Get daaaahn to my Brothel you poor man, can’t offer you a discount because I’m saving for a new Audi but I’ll make sure one of my bitches looks after you. You’ll be back home in time for one of your Mrs lovely dinners, you’ll have a smirk on your face and she’ll know nothing.
    Discretion assured as my motto is ‘I know naffink abaaaaaht it’.

    • You are full of shit B&W. At your brothel got hand relief off a Scottish tranny and fuck all change out of a fiver.
      Fandabi fucking dosi.

      • I know and I’m sorry abaaaaaht that. You do know it was Kravdaft, and he was putting on a Scottish accent don’t you?

  25. Jeremy Beadle had one hand smaller than the other. They used to call him clock at school. There’s also a Playstation controller out there endorsed by him if you do a search.

  26. A Daft cunting!! Without the sage advice of Mrs E/Cunt I would have been serving Life years ago.

  27. The problem is, too many punters but the first or second car they test drive, without researching them.
    I test drove hundreds, some of them I went back and had another test drive.
    Then I chose the best model, for me.

    Had great fun with all those test drives, though😉👍

  28. Superb cunting. One that resonates with me and I’m sure many other cunters.

    Well said, that man.

  29. An oldie, but a goodie:

    Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson,

    And bragged that despite being 72 years of age,
    He could still have sex 3 times a night.
    Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued.

    After the show, Cilla says,

    ‘Sean, if I’m not bein too forward, I’d luv to ‘ave sex with yer.

    Lets go back to my ouse, we could ‘ave a lorra fun.
    So they went back to her place and got comfortable

    After a couple of drinks they went off to bed
    And had an hour of mad passionate sex together.

    Afterwards, Sean says,
    ‘If you think that was good,
    Let me shleep for half an hour,
    And we can have better shex.

    But while I’m shleeping,
    Hold my balls in your left hand and ma Willie in your right hand’.

    Cilla looks a bit perplexed, but says ‘Okay’.

    He sleeps for half an hour, awakens,
    And they have even better sex than before.

    Then Sean says,
    ‘Cilla, that was wonderful.

    But if you let me shleep for an hour,
    We can have the besht shex yet. You’ll have to…….’

    ‘I know Sean. Yer want me to ‘old onto yer bat ‘n balls again.

    No problem Hun.

    Cilla complies with the routine.

    The results this time are absolutely mind blowing.

    Once it’s all over,
    They have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks
    ‘Sean, tell me, dis ‘oldin yer balls in one hand
    And yer Willie in de other – does it really stimulate yer that much?’

    Sean replies, ‘No, not at all Cilla….

    ….But the last time I shlept with a scouser, the bitch stole ma wallet !’

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