Ghost Writers

Novels by Cunts who have not actually written them are cunts.

Tom Clancy, Clive Cussler, Wilbur Smith…

Q. What have these and other authors got in common?

A. Their bestsellers are now written by other cunts.

FFS what is the fucking point? Oh, that’s it, some poor hack called Fred Cunt is not an international ‘name’ so sweats away so some other cut can have continued glory.

Utter cuntishness. Of course, the publishers are greedy cunts but how sad are the wizened old wankers giving their name to this shit? If you are not up to writing your own novels, rest on your laurels.

You did great work once. Now you are just a cunt.

Fuck off.

Nominated by: Twenty Thousand Cunts Under the Sea

33 thoughts on “Ghost Writers

  1. I’d sooner live in a tent in a cow pat infested field eating dandelions than take the credit and money for someone else’s work. Shameless cunts.

    • Eating dandelions in cow pat infested fields will all be part of the New Normal should Greta and NutNut get their way!

      As for ghost writers – shameless cunts, and surely a case of misleading trade descriptions!

      It would be like buying an Apple Mac expecting it to have been made by highly skilled technicians in America, but in actual fact they’re done by lowly dinks earning 10 cents an hour in some Chinese shithole (allegedly of course!)

      No doubt when Boris steps down he will get some mug to write his memoirs and pass it off that he wrote it. Hopefully the book will be called something like “Boris : A Clueless Cunt!”

      • Trust me Technocunt I don’t want to live in a field. I just can’t abide cunts that claim other peoples work they are cunts. Speaking of which Greta thickberb and her cronies should be given the chance to live in a field for a year a then write about their experiences.

    • Sounds like a great weekend at Fiddler towers. He may even let you beat up the grouse

  2. Does this mean I will NOT be getting paid for my writing skills on the upcoming series:

    Harry Potter & The Half caste Duchess

    Harry Potter & The Philosopher’s Contract at Manchester United

    Or my personal favourite,

    Harry Potter & The Transexual of Azkaban.

    Bollocks!!!
    🤔

    • Ggggghosts?!!!
      Yikes!!
      Theyve become a brand these authors, a trading name.
      I agree, should be written by them.
      Maybe they have writers block?
      To busy enjoying their money to bother.
      Dr Seuss is my favourite author.
      Not let me down thus far.

      • MNC, I’m awaiting Headless Behan’s book of her true account what really happened.

        But can ghosts pick up pens to write it?

  3. Nothing the matter with getting The Grunts to do the hard work and then swooping in to take the credit….can’t imagine that Hadrian spent his days knocking up batches and laying stones.

    • With a name like Hadrian id assume hed be more suited to hairdressing than the building game?

      • Dick@
        Ive rambled along Hadrian’s wall.
        Shoddy workmanship.
        Obviously done by foreigners.

      • I hope you remembered to shut every “Country Cream” gate behind you as you trespassed.

    • I plan to say that MNC made me write some of my more “challenging” posts when the inevitable “…isaCunt” hate trial occurs.

      • I was thinking of blaming it all on RTC Dick?
        As I sob in the witness stand,
        In my Blacklivesmatter# tshirt ill point a trembling finger his way and whisper ‘monster’…
        😀

  4. Lazy feckless cunts, maybe Katie price could get Harvey price to write her memoirs, with a foreword written by Greta thunberg, , now that would be required reading for every school child, that would make the little bastards sorry for misbehaving

  5. Are you cunts trying to tell me books released by yhe likes of Katie Price, Lilly the spunk trumpet and Sam Fox were written by ghost writers, I don’t believe it.
    But that does explain why when Katie Price was asked a question about her new book, she didn’t have a clue what the reporter was on about, she knew she had released a book and that was about it….
    When I release my book the great colouring book of life’s knock backs and divorce, I’m going to ask Wilber Smith to put his name on it to help with sales, then again I will have to make sure I don’t get fucked over by the E, T looking mother fucker in the process, now sing after me_ I’ve never met a nice South African……

    • I can’t believe anyone would want to read The Life and Times of Katie Price except wannabe slags. Maybe Mylene Klass would write it. Not so much Boswell’s Life of Johnson as Klass’s Life of Price. Just shows how low the 21st century has sunk compared to the 18th.

      • To be honest, if Katy Price actually wrote a biographical novel, it would need to be titled “15 gallons of spunk” or something similar.

    • Got two seth Efrickens just started on the job, fuck they’re LOUD talking to each other or the kaffirs

  6. I hate this shoddy practice as well. It’s intellectual dishonesty. Some writers names become so big they are almost an industry for publishers and the deceased authors estates to produce crap in their name. Virginia Andrews was still churning out garbage 30 years after she died.

    Even worse are the sports personalities that produce biographies they claim to have written. Not true. Most sportsmen can’t read or write (as we know they can’t even write a tweet) and the books are ghostwritten.

    It’s all a load of fuckstickery.

  7. They even have ghost writers on Twitter accounts now. Fuck me, you only need to string a couple of sentences together at most on Twitter.

    Mind you, it seems to be Premier League footballers doing this, which perhaps explains such a phenomenon.

    Ghost writing is cuntish and in the literary world, should be about as welcome as Dwight Yorke at a sperm donor clinic.

  8. Never knew this! Must take hours to create a masterpiece via ouija board, bloody spooky as well.

  9. On reflection, I suppose it is not as cuntish as being a ghost POTUS. Hairsniffin’ Joe being the current name on the cover.

  10. What about ‘automatic writing”? That’s what the Theosophists do. Rather than sitting down with a coffee at your writing desk work yourself up into a trance- like state with your eyes closed, breathing heavily and hey presto! you ‘receive’ communication through the spheres which you set down.
    You might receive a Tom Clancy bestseller you never know.
    Worth a go.

  11. Naomi Campbell-end had a book written for her and actually admitted it, using the whole sham as an advertisement. It was called The Swan and the old tart arrived at the press conference decked out in a white frock designed to replicate the look of the graceful bird. It was all a bit animal/cultural appropriation and embarrassing. Dennis Pennis was at the back and shouted, “Hey Naomi, why are you dressed like a duck?”

    • Dennis Pennis was fucking ace.

      Remember him chasing Barry Manilow down the street with a bedsheet shouting, “Hey Barry, wait! You dropped your handkerchief!”

      • to Demi Moore.Are there any circumstances, if it wasn’t gratuitous and it was tastefully done, would consider keeping your clothes on in a movie?

      • To Alan Hansen: Some say you’re a Satanist coz you’re nervous around crosses.

  12. It’s the people selling out their brands that are the cunts not the ghost writers they employ. Brand prostitutes creating McJobs.

    Individuals or organisations. Try to think of a brand that hasn’t sold out. There aren’t many left out there.

  13. All those boring “autobiographies “ supposedly written by “reality stars” ,footballers and other nonentities that appear on the supermarket shelves when Christmas is approaching have got to be written by other people.
    Most of them couldn’t string a sentence together.Who cares? Fuck them.
    More worryingly, who buys tis shit?!

  14. trouble with ghost writers is you never quite sure if you saw them or it was a trick of the light

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