Having spent an hour of my life I’ll never get back changing all the bleeding digital and battery operated clocks, I’d like to nominate this bizzarre practice we go through bi-anually.
For the sake of our sanity, enough, already.
Why, just why, are we still doing this? There’s only x amount of bloody daylight in a day, we aren’t fooling anybody by pretending we get longer mornings/evenings.
Stop it, stop it now!
Nominated by: Jessum Priest
It could be worse; think yourself lucky you don’t live in northeastern Arizona
2
I was taught at school, it was to enable the children of farmers and farm workers to put in a “shift”, before school.
Yeah right.
As for children walking to/from school-dark mornings, darker evenings-whats the difference.
Just like Dianne Abbot, it’s as broad as it is long.
🤔
8
Trouble with the farmer thing is that animals don’t know that the clocks have changed…I’ve never had dairy cattle but if they’re used to be being milked at 6 o’clock,they won’t suddenly decide to hold on for an extra hour because the clocks have changed. I know that I’d have a hell of a job explaining to the Hounds and horses that their food was going to be late because the clocks had changed.
As for the kids walking to school thing….I don’t think that most of the fat little benefit-sponges are capable of walking further than the fridge…Mummy drives the little eco-warriors to school in a massive 4×4.
Morning,General
Morning,All
19
In China, they don’t even have time zones let alone “daylight saving”; the entire country is on Beijing shijian (Peking time). Because Beijing is located on the far East of the country, and China is so large it straddles what would be 5 time zones, the whole of China (apart from BJ, Shanghai & Eastern seaboard) is on the wrong time zone.
This means that people go work in the West of China at some very odd hours; obviously they’re going by the sun, not Beijing Time. It is a relic of Mao and his intensive control over the whole of China – but nobody is very bothered and the regions continue to simply do their own thing according to the actual sunrise/sunset times locally. .
10
Some kid found a fossil the other day and the experts say it is 488 million years old. It says it on all the different news reports 488 millions years ago.
My question is how could they be so accurate? Couldn’t it be 489 million or 487 million years ago?
I mean there isn’t a date stamp mark on the fossil ‘age 488 million years’.
10
Good question, Miles, but I expect it is to do with the accurately known radioactive decay rates of, notably (but not exclusively) carbon-14. I think what you have failed to appreciate is that the difference between 489 (or indeed 487) and 488 million years is one million years.
That’s a very long time indeed in terms of radioactive decay. Obviously, in the case of, say, the Turin Shroud trying to pin it down sufficiently accurately is a different matter. From memory, radiocarbon (ie carbon-14) dating has successfully dated the Shroud to ca ± 70 years centred at 1320.
That’s accurate to an error of 140 years, Miles, not 1 000 000 years. A difference of 999 999 850 years, in fact. This accuracy doesn’t change greatly over longer timescales; it is also not a percentage of time, but an absolute accuracy. Kind of.
3
errata
999 860 years and not 999 999 850 years
Turin Shroud dating, perTaylor, R.E. and Bar-Yosef, Ofer (1988) places it between 1260 and 1390. [I was close]
2
Clocks going forward an hour means 6 o’clock becomes 7 o’clock. Therefore to keep the cows happy milk them at 7 o’clock instead of 6 o’clock. It’s not fucking rocket science.
6
Cocked up the leap forward fall back thing again, went out at five and the coos were two fooking hours late
2
@RTC….that’s my whole point.
It’s not fucking rocket science.
5
Sorry Dick, I misinterpreted your post… still not used to being up an hour earlier…
Good morning. 🙂
3
Morning,RTC….It’s another shitty morning here….forecast was for a mini heatwave,no fucking idea what happened to that.
Have you had your second jab yet?…I’m still waiting to be offered somewhere in Northumberland.
3
It was supposed to be sunny and warm here today. Instead it’s cloudy and 11 degrees…
Good enough for exterior decorating, which I’ll be doing all day.
Got my second jab booked for May 7th.
3
Apparently it was done to benefit the Scots, ergo it’s a cunt.
6
It’s just fucking stupidity is what it is.
7
Well if the cunts are going to keep doing it then I nominate Monday morning 9.00am as the start of BST.
But of course it always changes at the weekend.
Fuck em.
4
You must have a lot of clocks, Jessum Priest. Spare a thought for this weirdo.
After a late start yesterday during the time it took a kettle to boil for morning coffee, I successfully moved forward the following clocks :
🔫 Smiths “Selectric” in the kitchen
🔫 Panasonic microwave (digital)
🔫 Neff oven (digital – tricky
🔫 Metamec sunburst on the mantelpiece in the lounge
🔫 Chinese cheapie in alcove in lounge
🔫 Thwaites & Reed longcase¹ in Hall (tricky: it’s an old one)
🔫 Acctim quartz (built into a ship’s binnacle) in the parlour
🔫 Kienzle small carriage-style quartz in downstairs Crapper.
I had already adjusted an old Braun alarm clock in the bedroom when I woke up around 10.30, according to the time on my Motorola mobile phone. The Drayton controller unit for the central heating automatically adjusts for Summer Time, and a wall-mounted clock in bedroom2/Venetia’s office regulates automatically via radio signal from Rugby (I think).
Bear in mind this is the setup at Vee’s in Didsbury. When I finally return home, I shall have to do my own clocks, but i don’t have many.
Sadly, I’m up unhealthily early today to prepare some notes for an important appearance later. Genuine question to SMcS, MMCM, CG and Unkle (who I notice are also up with the larks): why do you uptick stuff? I never do and never have. I don’t get the point.
¹ a rather attractive but eye-wateringly valuable present from me,
17
“You must have a lot of clocks, Jessum Priest. Spare a thought for
this weirdo.”
Would you say he was a little bit ‘cuckoo’ AjaxMkV/CS?
😁
6
He was on TV recently, and he certainly did seem a bit odd.
Not as odd as I feel having to wake up at (what felt like) 5am to prepare a heavy closing speech for a load of scum bag §28 1971MDA conspiratorial clients. Not in the fkn mood today. Sometimes wish I was back in Chongqing – but not often.
Takes all sorts though, eh Harold!
1
Happy fucking Monday my arse
1
You’ve piqued my interest – what exactly is §28 1971MDA?
1
Nevermind AjaxMkV I’ve worked it out.
1
§28 1971MDA means «section twenty-eight of the 1971 Misuse of Drugs Act» Harold.
Basically, the defendants have been charged under section 28 of this Act inter alia, whereby it is an offence to have a controlled drug in their possession, whether lawfully or not, with intent to supply it to another in contravention of section 4(1) of the Act.
Sadly it is a complex conspiracy case, and I fear they will all “swing”. My early optimism was sadly misplaced. I’m currently thinking off “angles” to mitigate in terms of their sentencing (which will be later this Summer). It is not easy and I have a few ideas – but very little time to crystallise them for later this morning.
I find at times like this I procrastinate like fuck (hence my presence on here). It is pretty much lost.
2
Well that will be some consolation to them when they miss out on acquittal by a bee’s Dick
1
Scum lucky not to be charged under section 28 of the milk snatcher’s 1988 Qüeers Act.
3
Your clock adjustments sound a monumental pain, Ajax.
Why do I uptick cunters? To make the poor grumpy bastards realise they are appreciated, even if only by other perpetually grumpy bastards.
13
I see.
Not at all a PITA, MMCM. As said, I completed all those adjustments in the time taken to boil a kettle. I would otherwise have probably been getting irritated by listening to Radio Bore.
2
It’s not the number of clocks, but the searching for the user guides that explains which buttons to press, in what order. Every damned one is different.
Not to mention trying to pry the back of the battery one with my arthritic fingers, in order to turn that minute wheel that moves the hands.
I’m not as young as I used to be.., Sorry,. I forgot what I was going to say.
5
My watch collection includes a quartz Grand Seiko which is accurate to within a fifth of a second per year! I am reluctant to adjust it so I just leave it on GMT so for half the year it tells the wrong time despite costing over £2,000.
5
I am against Daylight Saving Time. The sun is supposed to be at its highest point in the sky close to noon (on the meridian) not 1pm.
The idea of permanent Daylight Saving Time is ludicrous. In winter it will still be dark at 9am and people naturally want to sleep longer at that time of year. The amount of daylight is determined by the position of the earth’s orbit around the sun not some fucking clocks.
9
But isn’t this BST/DST a task most other countries round the world have to perform?
And I did hear the EU were considering banning the practice of recognizing DST completely, but that as a couple of years back – don’t know what happened though.
Either way, its PITA, and probably “racist” (give it enough time and some cunt from the Guardian will say its a reminder of the old British Empire and slavery blah blah)
5
Just found this
https://www.timeanddate.com/news/time/europe-starts-dst-2021.html
3
I read the first two sentences, then lost the will to live.
I truly don’t get it. If you want to enjoy more evening daylight, go to bed later.
Although I agree with a post about people using the time change as an excuse for being late to work. They were never an hour early. When the clocks went back.
Cunts.
3
It’s a British thing, be proud, there’s not much left to shout about. That extra light in the evening is great for me to go and price work and get other stuff done. I had about 5 clocks to change manually but it’s twice a year and not a big deal. The Spring change is harsh because you lose an hour but it’s worth it. I’m off to work now to cheer up a load more miserable bastards! As those cunts across the pond who can’t pronounce English and think we are eccentric would say,”have a nice day”. 😁👍
6
There should be one time and one time only. British Time ……..
It’s all the world needs.
What we don’t need is a clock on every household appliance. Totally irrelevant to me, as when they’re not being used,they’re switched off …….Greta’s Law.
Having a clock in the shithouse is a bit of a puzzler.
Each to their own.
Good morning.
10
GMT is the accepted synchronised time of sciencey people. Except that they call it UTC ; I guess so it doesn’t upset the French and other assorted Johnny Foreigner types.
3
Yes Jack British Time 👍
Better still Mansfield Time 👍
Then leave the fuckers alone 👍
3
What pisses me off is no matter how carefully you set clocks, within a matter of hours they all end up showing a slightly different time. I have 3 in the kitchen (microwave, coffee machine and clock) and they only ever show the exact same time when I’ve just set them, within hours there can be up to 5 minutes difference which then stays like that until I set them again.
2
I get the same problem with the atomic and fuckin caesium clocks around the lab.
Set them just so and five minutes later they’re out by a quarter picosecond per billion years, fuck them.
2
Serves you right for buying chinese.
3
With you with that one. It’s a mystery, and probably something to do with Bill Gates and the lizard people.
1
I like it.
Leave it as it is.
Always some feckless type a hour late for work because of this, or stood outside the workplace for a hour when the clocks go back.
And I enjoy seeing pensioners stood outside the post office looking bewildered.
9
When Krankie and her Nazi chums have their own little totalitarian hell hole. We can keep the clocks the same all year. We won’t have to worry about the poor Scots and their dark winters. Fuck em, fuck em all.
4
Doesn’t matter how many clocks I change, there’s always at least one fucker that I forget (usually the car clock, the central heating/boiler, or timer switch)
But then again imagine if you work in a huge office (a 50 storey sky scraper), and you were tasked to change all the wall clocks in every office on every floor!
Can’t believe its April in a couple of days time either! Doesn’t seem 5 minutes since we were seeing the backs of Christmas and NY. And now we’re about to start the 2nd quarter of the year!
That old trope that suggests Time appears to go faster as you get older, certainly has a ring of truth about it. I remember my school days at my local comprehensive, and how double-French or double-Chemistry, would just drag on for fucking hours and hours!
If it wasn’t for Ms Collingwood’s continual prick-teasing in her see-through top and short black pencil skirt, I would have fallen asleep half-way through French. Jean-Paul could go fuck himself for all I cared, the French cunt!
4
Ah yes. The car clock. I have a new fangled car. It’s like the fucking starship Enterprise flight deck. And the handbook is fucking useless as it contains instructions for every fucking variant of the model without being specific. A cunting all of it’s self.
4
new fangled cars deserve their own Nomination for being precisely that – all bells and whistles, but when something goes wrong you haven’t got a fucking clue how to fix it a) because what’s under the bonnet is all integrated and packed full of electronics; and b) the handbook is about as useful as Jess Phillips in a brothel!
Even a simple task as changing the clock requires reading through 10 pages of bollocks, or looking on YouTube for a step-by-step guide!
Keyless cars are bad enough, but trying to change a clock on a dash, is the thin end of the bloody wedge!
2
Genuine question: don’t “new fangled cars” update their clocks automatically?
It’s the “old fangled” stuff that gets me. Old chiming clocks that you can’t “wind backwards” and have to slowly advance 30 minutes at a time waiting for the chimes to finish after every increment. Moving forward is not so bad but going back can take 10 minutes and each chime seems like it’s taking hours.
0
@mikdys.
I don’t drive (I’m a biker). But my wife has an old but reliable Ford Focus Mk2, with a fairly simple dashboard, and easy-ish way of changing the clock manually (it doesn’t do it automatically)
However, last year we had a curtesy car of the latest Focus, full of flashing lights and numbers and buttons. Yes it probably could update the clock automatically, but I have to say the vast array of lights and dials was quite intimidating, and my wife hated it!
Fuck knows what will happen when electric cars become standard!
1
If “new fanged cars” get updated like MS Windows they probably get the steering wheel put in a different place each time so I take your point!
As for electric cars I can’t see these bastard things becoming mainstream. It’s more likely we’ll end up like Cuba running old bangers for decades because either nobody can afford the new stuff, they can’t access charging for them, or they don’t want to make three overnight stops to refuel when they go to visit Grandma!
3
Well the government want production of new petrol/diesel cars to end come 2030. And I read in the Telegraph (I think) a few months back suggesting the government were going to consider ramping up road tax for existing petrol/diesel cars post 2030, thus “persuading” drivers to move over to electric!
Of course, no doubt the same government will keep the road tax for electric cars, while also adding a “electric tax” when you charge up! After all despite the government’s green credentials they won’t want to lose those billions in petrol tax revenue come 2030 – but that’s for another nom!
4
Already had a go at nominating this pernicious climate change bollox:
https://is-a-cunt.com/2021/02/electric-cars-and-uk-net-zero-emissions/
1
I had a 19 year old Ford Focus which I sadly scrapped on Boxing Day and it was 3 years before I realised that I could only change the clock when the ignition was on, something the fucking ‘instruction manual’ never bothered to mention. Cunts.
2
Work has a new van, very nice diesel. French though, only trouble the bellend dealers didn’t include a handbook. CUNTS
1
It ain’t just a British thing.
The clocks are changed in Europe as well.
A lot of fucking around in my opinion.
Clocks in cars can be a bastard to set.
There’s talk of knocking this malarkey on the head in Europe. Probably revenge for Brexit.
2
The UK is part of Europe. I assume by “Europe” you are referring to Mainland Europe, or possibly the European Union.
2
Ruff Tuff.
There are posts here that say that it’s a British thing.
It’s not just Britain that changes their clocks.
2
By saying: “It ain’t just a British thing. The clocks are changed in Europe as well.” you suggest Britain is not a part of Europe.
Had you said: “The clocks are changed in other parts of Europe as well”, that would have been fine.
Sorry to be a pedantic cunt Artful, but things like that bug me.
2
1. Clocks should’ve been advanced to BST three weeks ago. It’s been light enough to read a newspaper by at 0530 when I get up to relieve the prostate pressure.
2. Then they should stay on BST all year round. Even St Greta can see the environmental benefits of reduced energy consumption in that
3. Setting National Time should be a devolved matter anyway. lf Wee Krankie wants to establish Scottish Time then what the fuck difference does it make, even to a few million living in Newcastle and points north? Millions all over the USA live within a mile or two of a time zone.
Incidentally my thanks to Ajax for that insight into China. Fascinating. Didn’t know that but it sounds typical.
1
Drop the fucking charade entirely and realize circadian rhythms supercede any notion of fuel efficiency, farmers, or annoying children walking in the dark to school up in the arse end of scotland.
Changing the clocks makes no difference to the elites who sit around all day doing nothing, or sleep in the Lords. But it fucks my shit up for a couple of days. Cunts.
As far as I can tell it only exists now for that purpose of ritual humiliation.
1
😂 Is there anything that isn’t a conspiracy with you, Chunky?
5
I would have had a nice lie in Sunday if it weren’t for those pesky elites!🤤
4
The idea is plainly retarded, everyone knows it is. They wouldn’t continue it if there wasn’t something in it for them, given how governments love reforming easy pickings to make themselves look good.
Maybe underhanded stock manipulation or something, who knows.
2
I agree. It’s utterly pointless. The days/nights get lighter naturally in the summer months. And the mongs that say ‘Oooh! We get an extra hour in bed!’
No they don’t, the stupid cunts.
3
Everything I have with a clock updates automatically except my watch, which is a chronograph thingy (none of this smart watch nonsense for me!)
And as everyone knows, this back and forth nonsense with the clocks was invented so the French could complain about being an hour early or late when surrendering.
Shifty Frenchies..
4
I dont wear a watch, they get broken while working,
Not really into them, have a mobile phone that displays the time.
Got a victorian silver pocket watch though!
For posh, but rarely dress posh.
Makes me feel like Fred Dibnah.
No bad thing..
3