A nomination if I may for Highways England,
I thought these fuckers had reached the pinnacle of cuntery by endorsing “smart motorways”, but now they have launched a nauseating advert to accompany this brain fart idea, introducing some rather irritating püüfs playing the shirtlŷftîñg anthem “go west” but changing the lyrics to “go left”,
of course on a smart motorway the hard shoulder is just a fourth lane, so you have to get to the refuge area, now if your car conks out away from the “refuge area”, what do you do?, clutch some rosary beads and hope you don’t get ârśeshûntéd by a dooshka in a 44 ton twat crusher,
many have and this tasteless fucking advert goes to show how out of touch Highways England are, I wonder if they’d make such a chipper advert if one of their loved ones died as a result of these death trap abominations, don’t think so, bunch of cunts!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6OPQ5O0I1g
(Link provided by the rather ace Night Admin – NA)
Nominated by: Captain Quimson
These twats deserve to be cunted solely for imitating police cars and causing everyone to slow down from 100 to 68 mph for fear of being nicked.
And I agree that “smart motorways” are a menace. Why can’t these qovermental quangos, or whatever they are, leave things alone. As soon as some quango or government department comes up with an idea to “improve things” it inevitably makes things worse.
11
That ad is an insult to everyone, including the poofs.
8
A proper Country would have motorways wide enough for four Panzers travelling abreast.
This rather smacks of lack of forethought.
9
Bunch of knobs. Smart motorways are great until you break down and fucking die because there’s no where to go.
Anyone could have foreseen it. All part of the smart-grid/city philosophy though, hence why this turd was fished out for tender and consumption.
8
I drive about 78,000 miles a year and of course a great deal of this is on motorways. I’m an experienced, professional driver and I don’t frighten easily either but the thought of breaking down on one of these ill-conceived deathtraps scares the living fuck out of me.
The gormless cunts who came up with this one (and even now persist in defending the whole concept) really should be lined up against a wall and machine-gunned.
16
I’d make the cunts drive to Manchester (you can guarantee they’re from London) and back in a Trabant.
15
Lady C broke down in the fast lane of M25 a year or so back. It was dusk and car just stopped all of a sudden (air in fuel line) so no chance of getting to a “refuge”. Centre divider was just a concrete wall, and four lanes to get to safety up a bank. Good samaritan stopped and got her off the road. Useless cunts didn’t see her on CCTV and when she called, fucker took over an hour to get to her.
And, I had to call “emergency services” once to get some swans off a motorway slip road. These HA cunts came out and stood around waiting as they “had to wait for a trained animal handler” (their words) – so why did you two useless cunts come out, I said. Luckily a rozzer was passing and he helped me. I really detest these useless cunts.
10
I didn’t know that the M25 actually had a fast lane Lord C.
1
The thick cunts who dream up this sort of shit travel on the Tube and shop at Selfridges.
They should be left to the mercy of a Hungarian truck driver thundering down the motorway watching Pornhub.
18
Smart motorways are the modern equivalent of the Emperor’s New Clothes. Utter fucking insanity. Imagine some poor old dear breaks down in poor visibility or even in good visibility. Some Korva Korva HGV driver is one his phone/on his tablet/pulling himself off to a film on Pornhub/picking his nose/eating a Yorkie/scratching his bollocks or all of the above; we have a recipe for a heavy duty RTA and several fatalities.
Anyway, these motorway cockwombles clearly didn’t pass the police entrance exam (i.e. posting coloured, shaped wooden blocks through shaped holes in a board), so this is the next best thing for them.
One of my colleagues broke down in an unfortunately dangerous place on the motorway (M25) several years ago. Kudos to the coppers, they helped him move the car into a place where his car was less likely to be run flat as a sardine can by a wanked out Dooshka HGV driver.
The coppers advised him to quickly phone to get his breakdown/recovery provider out pronto, which he did. Exit coppers. After a few minutes, the donut-munching wombles turned up – yellow beacons whirling. The cunts had a go at him for being ‘parked on the hard shoulder’. In not so many words he told the pair of them the coppers had helped him move the car there away from relative peril of the previous location and that they were a pair of daft, useless, unhelpful, donut-munching cuntwombles.
Fuck them all into a shitty pair of Diane Abbotts knickers.
17
Smart motorways my arse.
Talking to a bloke from the RAC other day, he said these long distance artic drivers,
The British lads are being priced out.
They have to bide by health& safety regulations,
Time off, rest breaks etc.
The Eastern European drivers?
22hr driving to destination.
Dont get there on time?
Dont get paid.
So they swig Red Bull an coffee put their foot down and go,go,go.
Dangerous as fuck and not fun if your not in a safe place broken down, and theyre asleep at the wheel.
15
Wait till there are umpteen electric noddy cars running out of charge on the M25. Then we’ll see some carnage.
6
“eating a Yorkie” – LOL. Brings back memories.
3
The day I hope never happens is when a minibus full of kids is trashed on a Not so fucking smart motorway. I hope the cunts all go to prison, chanting “but dual carriage dont have hard shoulders”. Fucking wankers.
11
Thankfully, since Brexit the number of Dooshka cunt drivers on the motorway has been severely reduced. Even the bog trotter lorries are going direct to potato land from France instead of through the U.K.
Ahhhhh Brexit!
14
How fucking glad I am that I watched that video. I fully intended to go right should I encounter an emergency on a smart motorway. Patronising cunts.
6
This cunt of an advert insults any sane persons’ intelligence.
However, the cunts at Lieways England aren’t too bright, – otherwise they wouldn’t have dreamt up these barmy Smart Motorways.
An extra lane on the cheap, at the expense of people’s lives. A fucking bargain!
10
They are 100% frustrated traffic cops and to be fair, parliament anticipated this. The Traffic Management Act 2004 which created them states it is a criminal offence for a Patrol Officer to claim to have more powers then he does (which, by the way, is very few indeed)………. What other job has that…… Given their powers are so few, they really shouldn’t have officer in the title, should be Traffic Monitor (Kinda similar in authority to school Milk Monitor).
10
I had one racing up behind me on M25 with his orange lights flashing – he’s not emergency services, so he can fuck off and stay where he is. He really got the arse – more so when I stuck two fingers up at him.
4
I was Milk Monitor from time to time in Junior school. I think we had to take turns if memory serves. Anyway, when it was my turn I made sure the couple of cunts in my class who I didn’t like, got their little bottle last. Sometimes the twat who filled the crate miscounted and didn’t provide enough bottles. The stars aligned when that happened on the same day I was Milk Monitor. That way those two cunts didn’t get any milk. I was about 7 and already a trainee bastard. 🙂
5
ha a trainee bastard
1
More jumped up Muppets in hi viz with an inflated sense of self importance.
Tell em to fuck off 😁
5
Smart motorways? just another penny pinching idea so the money can be squandered on Boris’ flat and Matt’s barman.
1
Until recently I drove 40K+ miles a year and have done so for over 40 years. The most frightened I have been was when the car battery went flat after being stuck in a queue on the A14 and the car wouldn’t re-start. I was in the outside lane and cars and lorries going past at a rate of knots. The dogs were in the car as well. Fucking hell, I dialed 999 and they said they would put the lights on and the police would arrive asap. After what seemed like a life time, probably 10 minutes 2 trucks stopped and we pushed the car about a 100 yards down the road to a lay-by. The police turned up about 10 minutes later. I am still getting a sweat on as I am writing this.
4
That’s my exit 😁
1