Emojis (2)

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What get my colostomy bag a sizzling and gives me the urge to spew boiling hot piss over any cunt in a 100 mile radius of where I stand is those fucking emoji things.
Stupid fucking stickers more at home on a childs bicycle than an ideal replacement for the English language which has taken 100’s of years to evolve but is now crumbling like sun dried turd before my very eyes.
It all began when I got a friends request on facebook which I duly accepted from some cunt who has crawled out of the woodwork to hang on to my coat tails of magnificence and have a little slice of The Advocunt pie.
As customary when I accept a friends request on facebook I will always send a message saying good to hear from you and how are things because I still believe in the written word but in return the brain dead cunt replied with a thumbs up emoji and that’s it!.
Of course when I saw this I immediately deleted the cunt as I figure if the cunt is too lazy to write a reply then the cunt will be too lazy to get the fucking beers when its their shout down the boozer so what good is a useless sack of shite like that to me?.
I would like to end my first nomination here on ISAC with the moral of the story is but I don’t do morals as they are pesky things that get in the way of having a good time, especially with some of the rancid old Grunters I have banged in the past so I will say this………
If you have the communication skills of a plankton then nip down to the seaside with a bucket and fill it brim full of your little buddies who will no doubt be thrilled with your communication skills but don’t knock on my door because I just ain’t that fucking wet.

Thank you and fuck off.

Nominated by: The Devils Advocunt

(Welcome to ISAC and thanks for your first of many, hopefully, nominations – DA)

60 thoughts on “Emojis (2)”

  3. Seriously though you’ve got a point. I dread to think what the English language will be like in 500 years.

    • I share your concern, MMCM. In the language of Shakespeare you can express your meaning with great precision. I can go along with the statement “It’s a living language” though it seems to me that most of the people who use this expression would be more accurate if they were to say “I can’t spell”. What saddens me more is the use of words like cart for shopping trolley and other americanisms e.g. cement for concrete and purse for handbag. We seem to be heading for a time when we wil be commmunicating our meaning by pointing at an object and giving a confirmatory grunt.

      • Quite correct. One reason the English language has been so successful – apart from the fact that we spread it across a quarter of the globe – is its precision and range. I think I’m right in saying it has the largest vocabulary of any language.

      • Can you imagine if we all went around speaking Shakespearian English?

        Chaucerian – even better!

        Language evolves. It’s our greatest strength, apart from diversity, obviously…. 🤣

      • It’s how it evolves that’s the problem. Presently I can’t see it evolving well. When the Woke talk about “speaking their truth”, which is a complete non-sequitur, I fear for the future of English as a logical and expressive language.

      • http://www.dictionary.com – “ Cunt is one of the most offensive and hateful words in the English language. The exact origins of the word cunt are unknown, but it’s recorded in the early 1200s as the name of a street in Oxford, England called Gropecuntlane, apparently a reference to prostitution. Both Chaucer and Shakespeare made puns on cunt.”

        Good to know we are using the language of Chaucer and Shakespeare on this site.

      • You have perfectly exemplified a common mistake in British English, Marvellous Mechanical Cunting Machine when you say:

        Presently I can’t see it evolving well

        Although in common formal US English usage to mean “right now”, in the UK “presently” means “soon”. I admit there is a dribble-down effect from such Septic solecisms – but isn’t exactly this the point here?

        It’s not as if there is any shortfall of more “formal” (and correct) ways of expressing “at the present” adverbially – but unfortunately “presently” isn’t one of them.

        The Yanks do the same thing with the word “momentarily” (to mean: “now”). I ascribe this to the significant influence on US English of immigrants of German antecedence (in German, „momentan“ means “currently”). In UK English, of course, it means “of brief duration”.

        Quite ironic, really, MMCM: a classic case of hypercorrection.

      • Well all I can say in my defence is that not being either a philologist or grammatician I occasionally make errors.

      • No real biggie but reading that line allows for now AND soon. AjaCS can be a little brusque

  5. Same goes for the lazy cunts who reply to WhatsApp messages with voice recordings.

      • 24 degrees, but fucking pointless with bars having banned smoking on their terraces and having to shut at 6pm.
        Lets see what happens on the 12th April when this shit show is reviewed.

      • We are back to 9.30 pm opening here and everyone is still smoking. I’m out in the sticks so probably different to wherever you are

  7. r.e. the case of that Everard woman, bojo the clown told reporters in Coventry:

    “The police do have a very, very difficult job.But there’s no question that the scenes that we saw were very distressing and so it is right that Tom Winsor, the inspector of constabulary, should do a full report into it. I think people have got to have confidence in the police and Tom’s going to look at that.”

    Tom Winsor is the cunt who fucked up the railways. Mind you, maybe he meant that “a Tom” is going to look at it. That would make more sense – give all those birds a purpose in life.

  8. -\_(“-“)_/-
         {  }
       _/   \_
    It’s a fair cop guv. I used one once and got a bollocking from the recipient.

  10. You like Space Invaders though dont you Advocunt?

    🐙. 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙
    🐙 🐙 🐙🐙 🐙 💥
    :
    :
    :
    🗼

  11. I like them.
    There is a beer one.
    Saves a lot of complicated nonsense when it’s someone’s round after 10 pints.
    🍺🎩👍♿😪🍺💣

  13. Anyone see a stream of boiling piss on the horizon yet ? 🙄🤢😱

  15. Dont use them and make no attempt to decipher them.
    Welcome Advocunt, you seem just the sort of miserable twat to fit in.

  16. No emoji for “busy wanking, don’t come round for an hour to give me time to reload”.
    Disappointing..

  17. As IsAC’s premier user of emoji’s, I fully endorse this cunting😄👍

      • Thanks Squire. Click the link then you just hover on the image with your cursor, right click, copy image and then paste into an e-mail. Volia!

  19. I think Admin give new posters instructions not to comment during their maiden cunting.
    I can’t recall one who has done recently. Some are never heard from again!
    😊

    • Most of them are never heard of again. I think they’re regular cunters nominating under pseudonyms for whatever reason. Percy often posts under different names, doesn’t he?

      • I’m not too sure. At the moment he’s fixated on the “caged birds” site.

      • Libs – cage fighting between nubile young women. Percy’s cage doesn’t half need cleaning out after he’s watched a few bouts of it.

  20. I hope Advocunt continues posting. He’s made a great start.

  21. Never use emojis myself. But I passionately hate cunts who talk in textspeak.
    Twats that actually say ‘Oh Emm Eff Gee (OMFG)’, ‘Ell Emm Eff Ey Oh (LMFAO)’ in everyday speech.

    And utltramongs who also say things like ‘Lolz’, ‘Hugz’, ‘Famz’ and ‘Wifey’. Pig ignorant subnormal scum who can’t be arsed to speak properly. Cunt trumpets.

    • I sit awake at night worrying myself sick about emojis.
      And im under the doctor about my use of commas.
      Its probably the greatest threat to our way of life since the Black Death.
      But I take my mind off it by thinking about the rise of China as a superpower, multiculturalism, the far left controlling the direction of society and light-hearted stuff.
      Some things are just to awful to dwell on.

    • I only ever use “Lol” to be ironic-when someone has inadvertently cunted themselves (not the IsAC cunter, I hasten to add).

      • Nowt wrong with typing it, CG. It’s just when people (usually daft wimmin) always actually say it and when they use that ‘wigga’ language. Cunts that say ‘Maccy Dees’ instead of McDonald’s. They both have three syllables. It’s not harder to say McDonald’s. Mind you, for most of the morons that go in there, I’d say it was…

      • Norm: imagine banging some woman and as she came, she cried out: “O-M-G!!!l”.

        I wouldn’t know whether to laugh or kick her out🤔

  22. I find the 🍆 aubergine emoji to be playful and fun when suggestively texting women I want to 🍷&🍝 before 🖖🦴🌋

    • Therein lies your problem! Wimmin will think you are a cunt. Just ask them straight out .

  23. I can’t say I really use them and find they get used by the more ‘limited’ people I’ve known. Still, as Ian McEwan once said, ‘some of the loveliest people in your life have never read a book’.

    My real issue is with dopey bints who post pictures using animal filters. The rage I feel looking at them is disproportionate.

  25. Couldn’t agree more with your views on this infantile practice. Along with a lot of other things, one of the reasons I don’t do social meeja. BUT….. now people have started putting the fucking things on emails! Cunts!

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