Lil Uzi Vert

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A nomination for US rapper (ie cunt) ‘Lil Uzi Vert’ who has had a £17.5m pink diamond surgically implanted in his forehead.

He told fans (more cunts) that the jewel was close to 11 carats and that it was his favourite possession – as well as being his most expensive purchase ever.
“I’ve been paying for a natural pink diamond from Elliot for years now,” he wrote.
“This one Stone cost so much I’ve been paying for it since 2017.
“I’m literally tryna turn into a Diamond,” he added.

Well he’s certainly turned into an even bigger cunt than he previously was.
I suspect there’s a few muggers waiting for him with a crowbar ready to gouge it out, or a machete. What an absolute cunt, ugly fucker too.

Nominated by: mystic maven

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/13964674/lil-uzi-vert-critics-diamond-implanted-forehead/

67 thoughts on “Lil Uzi Vert”

  1. I hope he loses it down the plughole in the shower. You don’t see Elton John wearing anal beads with a cock ring through his nose.

  3. Hmm – large diamond, the Fox, a dreadful incident – and Vernon Fox is riiiich!
    I wonder if he is planning to visit Yorkshire?

  8. Well judging by the photo, it seems the surgery has left one of his eyes half closed or is it the cocktail of drugs the cunt can afford. Why is it when a black man gets rich he seriously gets loud with his dress sense

  9. More money than sense that rapper.
    I’d spend the money on something practical like a pair of comfortable shoes and save the rest for a rainy day.
    I might go crazy and buy a two tins of fruit cocktail instead of the usual one. 🙂

      • Indeedly, Vernon. 😀
        For extra special treat I like to pour some evaporated milk on top. But that’s only Christmas and birthdays. 🙂

      • The rest if his hard earned wedge, is invested in surgical grade icing sugar and female bakers of ill repute 👍

        Evening chaps 😀

  10. A piece of Hubba Bubba and a packet of glitter from Home bargains would have achieved the same effect.
    Daft cunt

    • I know Norman, its something when a cunt is covered in facial tattoos and piercings and that isn’t the most ridiculous thing on his mug. I’m waiting for the Hair Sniffer-In-Chief to make him ‘Yoot Tsar’ to aspirers across the land.

  12. I suspect that another In Da Hood Savage will relieve him of his shitty adornment by way of axe to head.

    That will be a story worth reading.

    Otherwise I hope the jewel melts his skull in sunlight,like a Bond film.

    What a monumental twat.

  13. It’s amazing how people knocking out cacophonous shit can amass enough money to be able to advertise, “I am a total cunt” in such a manner.
    I guarantee none of his ill gotten gains came from me.

    • I wonder if they have a singalong with the family at Christmas? Can just imagine him thrusting his knob and nadgers towards his mum or granny whilst warbling, “what’s ma name, what’s ma name ya ho biatch? All together now”
      Cunts one and all.

  14. I must mention that today it might have escaped your attention that it is Pancake Day.
    I cooked Pancakes this morning.
    The grandchildren were very upset. Turns out that Pancakes was their favourite rabbit. Don’t find that funny? Frankly dear boy, I don’t give a toss.

      • 😅. Ha ha. You’re no stick in the pan Libs.
        We must meet up. I’ve got a management position I need to discuss with you.

    • Bertie@
      Missus Miserable just did me some pancakes,
      Has to be sugar and lemon juice for me.
      The daughter was putting Nutella on hers☹️🤢
      Like eating Archie Hewitts nappy.
      Ive written her out of the will.

      • I had two, honey on one and some strawberry jam on the other, quite pleased with how they came as usually I check with the neighbours to see if they need any spare paving slabs.

      • Evening Ruff,
        Its not teatime for you yet!
        You eat at 8pm , plenty of time to tell lady Creampuff you want pancakes.

        Im watching a documentary about Humboldt county in California,
        They have medical marijuana fields that are responsible for 60% of US weed.
        Its also responsible for a hell of a lot of missing person reports.
        Drugs and skulduggery,
        Whod of thunk it?!!

      • That’s why the Democrats want to open the southern boarder Miserable, then they can claim all the Mexicans are working hard farming marijuana crops while lazy whitey is on the sick getting stoned.

      • LL@
        Bloke said the name/brand ‘Humboldt’ has as much equity as the name Coca Cola.
        A lot of money to be made,
        And the body count is rising…

      • I spent some time in California during the early ’80s. Have very fond memories of ‘Humboldt Gold’.

        Re pancakes: I don’t have any flour Miserable! Or golden syrup. Only got eggs. Besides, I can’t really be arsed anyway, and Lady C wouldn’t know where to start!

        Sausages, chips and baked beans is about all I can manage right now.

        Time to eat!

    • I suppose it’s a change from the obligatory gold chain. They have such low self esteem. A fella needs a jewel like a hole in the head, which is exactly what he’ll have when the brothers catch up with him.

  16. A sure fire winner for the deadpool, the thick cunt has put a price on his own head. Anyone ever heard of him before this? Guaranteed tuneless talentless drivel. They should resurrect that show ‘celebrity death match’ but instead of some cheesy animated tripe, they could just take a load of these rapper vermin out in the woods with their gold plated AKs, and let them get on with it. It would make great entertainment, there would be less rappers about, and no innocent fuckers are going to get accidentally shot in their stupid drivebys. Win win win.

  17. He’ll likely be shot and the gem ripped out of his facejazzle. He looks happy though; I think I would be too with a diamond worth that much. Should I start rapping? Seems more lucrative than all the home business ideas I have.

  18. Never heard of the pathetic pretentious cunt. Still he better hope a bruvva does not try and gouge it out.

  19. Is that a typo- £17.5m?

    How is a fucking useless twat like that able to afford £17.5m for something making him a bigger cunt than he looks already.

    And by the way, rap is fucking shit.

  20. If he comes to Cardiff it will be a knuckle sandwich and Stanley knife he would be seeing….. Ttttttwat

  21. Im aware of a gang of mechanical diggers down in ‘sarf Lahndan’ who’d happily swipe this cunts head clean off just for his pearly whites let alone that giant Opal in the middle of his Swede.

    Let’s hope for his sake the two never meet, I hope for my entertainment and amusement they do…………

    • Mechanical diggers-very inventive👍

      We need more up to date euphemism’s for today’s world and the cunts that proliferate 🤔

      • Evening CG….outboard riggers?
        Stabby tiggers?
        Sweaty vigour?
        Snappy twigger?
        Simian figure?

      • Aye up Thomas 👍

        Tea Swiggers-as in “furniture moving tea swiggers”😉

        Jig jiggers
        Benefit riggers

        Maybe trying to reinvent the wheel?

        Potential Architect
        Porch monkey
        *igger
        200 years of creativity 😀👍

  23. I know I’m suffering from lovers’ bawls at the moment due to lock down but that thing in his forehead looks a lot like the female pudendum.

  25. Unrelated I know, but that fucking “perf with Surf” tart on the TV ad.

    I would like to push her into a pile of Mr Whippy texture dogshit.

    Fucking annoying.

    • Paul that is Danny Dyers daughter, she is also called danni Dyer, it’s a bit creepy naming your daughter after yourself, sort of shit you get on porn hub

      • She is an irritating split arse.

        Usher her into Unkle’s oven, along with her ‘ard man dad.

  26. The fucking dumb Cunt

    I remember seeing a great band called Diamondhead as a young headbanger
    “am i evil, yes i am”

  28. If you want to be a thick cunt, rapprers shine the light, nothing’s is all they have

    to say ,fucked up shit that really means fookk all to the the majority .suck yourself you shitheads

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