Conspiracy Theories (4)

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A tin foil covered colander twatting for the rising number of conspiratoid twats who have crawled out from the basements in their Moms house to spout their crazy theories for the benefit of us “sheeple “.

I say twats and not cunts as there are increasing numbers of them on here and I don’t want to break any rules.(Good! – DA)

You know the sort. “The earth is flat. COVID-19 is a hoax. Bill Gates is behind it all and wants to microchip everyone. No one has died etc etc. The list goes on. One of the best is the claim that the elite steal babies to butcher them and drink their blood. Thousand of them every day according to the “Truly Awake “. FFS get real.

The UK has more than its fair share of these deluded fools. Here are a couple of them. A twat from Sheffield and a twat who lives in exile in Greece but is from the UK. Prepare to suspend reality if you watch these.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpAbxZCWtgs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIgAMuUZnuU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXxuTf60iKk

Nominated by: Grumpy Old Cunt 

(Please don’t turn this into another personal abuse shitshow otherwise it will be pulled – DA)

127 thoughts on “Conspiracy Theories (4)”

  1. You walk out your front door, without 20 masks on, and you’ll die.

    Nothing to see here.

  2. Stay in doors when it’s sunny outside or you will die, or be beaten up by the fatso police. No conspiracy here, just common sense.

  3. Does suspecting that the covid virus, while genuine, is being used an a convenient opportunity to build a more regulated and controlled Western World with individual liberties and the relationship between the people, the state and the law changed irrevocably, make one a conspiracy theorist?
    If so then I shall wear my tinfoil hat with pride…😁

  4. I’m surprised this nom made it through the filter. It seems to target fellow cunters (although granted not by name).

    It also makes sweeping generalisations about conspiracy theories as if they are all equivalent; spoiler ……….. they aren’t.

  5. The problem is that if you say you believe in some conspiracy theories, people automatically assume you believe in all conspiracy theories.

    The lizard people, David Icke and all that is crap.

    But the Panama Papers, the controversy around some of what went on around the time of the Athens Olympic games back in 2004 (the Greek watergate), and certain other things, have more credibility.

  6. The problem is that if you say you believe in some conspiracy theories, people automatically assume you believe in all conspiracy theories.

    The lizard people, David Icke and all that is crap.

    But the Panama Papers, the controversy around some of what went on around the time of the Athens Olympic games back in 2004 (the Greek watergate), and certain other things, have more credibility.

    • Sssshhhhh, theyll hear you.
      THEY are listening all the time,
      THEY bugged my phone.
      And theres a black van at the end of my road?
      Been there days?
      Be the Moon men.
      Theyre coming for us,
      You just watch….🤖🤖🤖

      • They’ve already got me MNC. 😄

        They offered me a deal that if I help them to get you, Fiddler, and some of the others, they’ll let me off and I’ll be under the witness protection scheme. 😂

      • Hehehe 😀👍

        Once Harold, id had a few ales, not pissed just a few pints.
        And was walking home over moors.
        Next thing, it were eerily quiet,
        Saw a light in the sky and it came nearer, like a big saucer,
        And it beamed me up!
        The cheeky cunts!
        Dont remember what happened aboard,
        But guessing the whopper headed little deviants interfered with me?
        Probed my arse!
        Luckily I had clean undercrackers on!
        Anyway I awoke in the heather with a tooth missing (got me DNA) and a sore arse.
        No one in the boozer believes me,
        But I know,
        The tooth is out there..

      • MNC@ – Can me and the moonmen get out of this black van yet? – they have some serious flatulence issues!
        I was never there! 😀🏃‍♂️

  7. I personally don’t mind what fuckin’ loopy ideas these twats have.
    What does boil my piss is the way these bods think it’s their personal mission in life to convert everyone else to their view . . . . .. .over and over and over again.
    (Take note some posters here)

    • And what I don’t like is people believing that if you have any questions about what you’re told you’re automatically a conspiracy theorist who believes David Icke’s shit. Which is what the cunting suggests.

  8. I enjoy my conspiracy theories but sometimes a particular one will be so offensive to me personally that I can’t resist biting…I suppose a lot of it comes down to the old “freedom of speech” idea…what one person may believe to be grossly offensive is, to another, “the truth”.

  9. The problem is sometimes they turn out to be right.

    There was the vaccine passports last year, oh people laughed. Now we have a committee not just looking into if you go abroad but for access to pubs and shops.

    Covid has been used as an excuse for the rich to line their pockets, and size more power.

    • All these are true but I don’t think they come into the category of
      ‘Conspiracies.’

      • Really? No offense but if I said to you last year they want to bring in vaccine passports, which will become a permanent feature of society and then morph into a complete digital ID, and then get linked to an incoming cashless society and possibly even a social credit score like in China.. you’d have called me nuts!!

        But that’s exactly where this is heading. You’ll probably disparage me now and then in 2 years time when it’s implemented act like you saw it comimg and it’s no big deal lol.

    • Fact is John that would-be holidaymakers won’t be allowed into Spain or wherever unless they have a vaccine passport. Don’t make this a UK control freak issue. We will only do what other countries do to protect their people.

      And how many folk on here complained bitterly (quite rightly) when plane loads of possibly infected people were arriving from Italy etc a year ago?

      We need a plan to beat his not a free for all.

      • Well yes but the vaccine refusers don’t make distinctions between any kind of ban, pub, cinema, travelling abroad etc.

        I keep hearing how it would infringe their civil liberties. But what about the rights of the public not to be infected by non mask-wearers or vaccine refusniks?

        There are freedoms from as well as freedoms to.

      • Absolute fucking nonsense.
        Any person who would suddenly demand that the entire population be injected so as to protect them from a bug, is by definition a cunt.

      • If you’ve had your miracle jab… Then why the fuck would you care about the people who haven’t had it?
        Shouldn’t you be protected???
        If in doubt keep your mask on or fuck off.

      • Counter question for you Helpuss – why does it matter what the refuseniks (interesting choice of word there given its history) do if those who have the vaccine want it? And how exactly do people have a right to be safe when we take risks more or less everyday? I’m leaning more towards having it than not having it but your zealotry almost makes me want to reconsider.

      • Counter question for you Helpuss – why does it matter what the refuseniks (interesting choice of word there given its history) do if those who have the vaccine want it? And how exactly do people have a ‘right’ to be safe when we take risks more or less everyday?

  10. The trouble with many conspiracy theories is that if they were real then the perpetrator or perpetrators of the conspiracy would fund it hard to cover up with the modern world of hyper-invasive media.

    I’m sure there is more than a grain of truth to some stories as nothing is ever black and white, but the toss that Icke spouts are the ramblings of an individual with a tenuous grip on reality.

    Good cunting.👍👍👍👍👍

  12. Of course, Bill Gates is certainly not a fucking cunt with a God complex who thinks he can control world population, disease, the weather, human thought. Sniffing children’s hair is a real fucking vote winner – try it and see, it makes perfect sense. Jimmy Savile was a misunderstood philanthropist DJ. I would obviously be a conspiracy theorist cunt to think otherwise.

  13. I’m just glad we’ve never had any Flerfs or Mud-Flooders on ISAC……….. those guys are the biggest, most idiotic conspiritards going.

    • In Tinfoil town the streets are full of dread,
      Their putting chips in peoples heads!
      Moon men, Rothschild’s, THEY, Joe Biden.
      Everyone s Napoleon.
      In Tinfoil Town.
      A bloke told me its all a hoax,
      Pick up a gun
      Ignore the jokes.
      Ive started prepping for the coming war,
      I’ll hold the line
      I’ll bolt the door
      In Tinfoil Town.
      The Bunkers all have rubber walls
      The medication shrinks yer balls.
      Hear that noise?
      See that light?
      Everything is based on shite.
      In Tinfoil Town.
      😀👍

  14. The biggest conspiracy is happening now, all around us and yet the fekkers can’t see it with their own eyes.

    Stop oggling the idiot lantern 24/7 and get out there to see what’s really going on.

    Like the 15 sand dwellers that arrived by dinghy this morning and all were tested positive for the bat flu.

    I can’t support this cunting.

    Going fishing now so fuck the lot of em.

  15. Has any conspiracy theory ever turned out to be true?

    Elvis Presley, Paul is dead, Lady Di, Apollo XI, JFK, Nazis, Led Zeppelin, Pyramids of Giza, Flat Earth, John Lennon’s shooting, UFOs, and now Covid jabs.

    They are all complete and utter bollocks.

    • The problem is that the conspiracy theories are more interesting than the truth. And when these people ‘do their research’ they never look for stuff that challenges the theories, just stuff that they think strengthens their opinions.

  18. I tried to watch the clips you supplied but ffs dense doesn’t come close to describing them. These cunts are either doing too much wacky baccy or indulging in some other past time but seriously, where the fuck do we get them from?
    Anyway I’m off to the shop for some more beer. Did I tell you John Lennon works there? No ? Well he does. And meerkats can speak so fuck off.

  19. Good nom Grumpy.

    Anyone who thinks Matt Hancock could spearhead a conspiracy needs a check up from the neck up.

    While I am willing to believe anything of China including the theory that it is using covid to assert even more control over its people I can’t accept that Boris is somehow planning something similar for us lot.

    I tend to believe in cock up rather than conspiracy.

    What concerns me most is the refusal of a large percentage of the population to take the jab and/or the belief that the virus is a hoax. WTF?

    And even dafter, on the one hand the BAMEs claim they are more vulnerable to the virus while on the other refusing the vaccine. Where is the logic?

    These are indeed crazy times. We tend to laugh at people in the middle ages believing in witchcraft and magic. But what i wonder what future generations will make of the fruit cake social media of the 2020s?

    • You act as if there is no legitimate reason whatsoever for people to have concerns about the vaccine.

      • It’s a new substance developed in record time. Yes there are satisfactory answers but still, I can understand why people might be worried.

  20. I like a good conspiracy theory and am hoping one day to see Elvis filling up my car on Route 66. However, I do believe in conspiracies involving vested interest groups. These include lawyers and doctors who earn far too much money thanks to their restrictive practices and freemason-like loyalty to each other. Nor will they ever publicly criticize a member of their profession even if he has fucked up an accused´s defense and sent an innocent man to the gallows or killed a patient.

    • There have been conspiraratorial workings in Scottish politics Mr Polly according to Alex Salmond yesterday. The whole of the government it would seem..
      If not conspiracy certainly skullduggery. I was astonished.

  21. Great cunting, well timed. I’ve been teasing this youngster in work about the baby blood bollocks, as he was fully on board with the absolute fucking nonsense. I asked him for details and what sort of proof was offered to back up this ridiculous tale, and it was apparent that he had set the bar pretty low on that count. It was quickly apparent that he didn’t really know much about anything, and was relatively easy to destroy the ‘facts’ he was coming out with. I don’t know if I convinced him otherwise, but at least he might now look at the other side before spouting nonsense.

    • This drinking babies blood* thing?
      Its so elite, SO metropolitan, So London.
      If they made it into a black pudding for us northerners itd be more palatable!!

      *Its a old trope that got our jewish friends a lot of trouble,
      Dangerous stuff.

      • Baby black pudding! You should market is Mis, its a fucking winner!
        What makes me laugh is the fucking mess on the cunts they say are taking it. If they are, it clearly isn’t working!😄

  22. Recently we have had:

    empty hospitals
    viruses dont exist
    covid doesnt exist, it’s just so ‘they’ can reboot society.
    covid doesnt really kill
    Democrat pee dohs in a fucking pizza place.
    covid is racist
    covid job losses affect ethnics more because of institutional racism (the Guardian, where else?)

    The thing about all of them is that the explanations are far weirder than the conspiracies.

    • Some cunt in work was going on about empty hospitals, and I said that the one I went to see my father on his deathbed (yes I was allowed to see him, another lie busted) was pretty full of patients and staff, just no Joe public. He then told everyone not to listen to me because I watched mainstream media! No you tinfoil hat cunt, I live in the real world, and base my opinions on real events, not what some 40 year old incel tells you in a YouTube video he filmed in his mums house where he still lives. This nonsense occupies the same dead part of the brain that religion infects.

      • Family member is an NHS nurse. She’s as right wing as they come. Would make Mussolini blush. Still, she says they get people taking photos on their phones of empty corridors in the hospital. They do it to post on social media to say ‘It’s all a lie! The hospitals are empty!’ They look around for quiet areas. They kick off when asked to stop filming too. Staff do have a right not to be filmed working in a hospital. And the cunts filming are just winding silly cunts up for no other reason than for likes. If some cunt started filming at your place of work and looked for a quiet area, when perhaps you’d gone on a break, would you ask them to leave if they were saying on YouTube/Facebook ‘No cunt does any work here!’

        Of course you fucking would!

        She said there are empty areas all over the fucking hospital. Every day. At different times. But that the covid wards are fucking packed and busy as fuck.

        I for one believe her. I couldn’t give a fuck if others don’t though.

  23. The phrase conspiracy theory was bought about by the CIA to disparage people questioning the official line on anything.m

    The government don’t deploy 77 brigade to manipulate the people to believe the official line.

    For sake people just watch Eastenders and take your ‘vaccines’ when told and everything will be alright!

    • There’s what I liked to called the double-layered conspiracy theorist. They are people who believe mainstream conspiracy theories but think that David Icke is an MI6 operative who’s been put out there to discredit the genuine conspiracy movement.

      I’m not sure there’s a cure for crippling paranoia but when clinical trials start, these nutters should be rounded up for testing (with informed consent of course.

      • There are probably triple layered conspiracy cunts.

        Theory is Icke has lizard men theory.

        Theory is Icke is MI6 to get people away from the real scent (whatever that is).

        Icke’s lizard theory is 100% true he just wants to discredit himself (for his employer MI6 or even Dun..dunnn. deerrrrr…the lizard People) so nobody believes it.

  24. Reminds me of the Viz character Grassy Knollington. Everything was a conspiracy theory. It’s like those stupid cunts who say we didn’t go to the moon. There’s actually a laser deflector that the astronauts put there that pings back a laser fired from earth to measure the distance. They say this is a trick. Well who put the laser defector up there? Fucking Martians? Stupid pricks.

    • And they left large mirrors on the moon as well but moon hoaxers probably think that telescopes are in on the conspiracy too.

      • Exactly Two In The. 500,000 worked on the NASA moon project. We’re they all in on the conspiracy too? It’s just laughable.

      • For the sake of clarity, I am referring here to such (putative) Alcan™ millinery as that put forward by Akio Nakatani in his 1997 publication Death Object: Exploding The Nuclear Weapons Hoax.

        Unusually among this flock of foil-o-philes, Professor Nakatani is an entirely “serious”; he’s a mainstream applied mathematician with a very large BoK of published research in diverse areas, mostly in statistical methodologies.

        However, rather like Avi Loeb who made quite a splash in the news a fortnight ago, Nakatani had a book to sell.

    • Add to that, the Ruskies, in the middle of the Cold War remember, tracked the whole mission and admitted that it took place.

      Still. It was a studio and every employee (and family member) of NASA and the US government was in on it. And no fucker ever said a word…

      … bollocks!

      • @Ajax MkV

        I love how you linked to a reddit post where a troll was saying the exact nonsense you’re saying and that very same troll got chewed out on that forum thread.

        Most people on here probably read your post and ignored it thinking that it was quite quaint and sad.
        I on the other hand am replying because I think it’s more funny that anything.

        Collossal fucking circus penis.

  26. The Fourth Reich’s conspiracy to eject the UK from the EU, while pocketing £39 billion (4 years net membership fees up front) in the process, not to mention retaining its control over UK “sovereign” fishing waters, grabbing Northern Ireland and tying British exports up in red tape, etc, is one conspiracy that has so far gone largely unremarked upon here.

    • Very true Ruff.

      But the UK is the champion of vaccine roll-out far ahead of the bumbling EU. The feckers even tried to stop us because they can’t bear us to have any success. However, this is the first of many victories though they will do all they can to frustrate us. I wonder how many lives have been saved by the UK becoming independent? 1000s.

      We don’t hear the remoaners on this subject do we?

      Of course to these nitwits the whole Brexit vote was a conspiracy cooked up between the establishment and the uneducated.

      Well feck you we got it right!

  28. Discounting the ‘obviously ridiculous’ is nothing more than a subjective interpretation. The fact is no one knows for certain about these things, so one should always keep an open mind to them. Maybe there’s some pieces of the puzzle you are missing? We are all missing even?

    The term was coined by the CIA. You know, that shifty bunch of cunts who go around destabilising foreign nations so their corporate interests can build factories and extract resources. Who assassinate and manipulate people on the whims of god knows who.

    It was coined to deliberately stop the plebs from asking questions and keeping an open mind, by poisoning the well through the term itself and via association with deliberately planted garbage.

    So, all you closed minded cunters on here, go run to your fucking idiot lanterns and tune in to the MSM to get your reassurances about life. Because the CIA (and MI6) would never ever think about interfering with the most powerful weapon of all, would they..

  29. I often get mistaken for Bigfoot.
    Been chased by people with dogs, filmed, people taking photos,etc
    Told em, Bigfoot’s a fuckin yank!
    Im just a big hairy flasher,
    Bigfoot doesn’t wear a mac.

    Knobheads.

  30. Conspiracy theories are good fun. My favourite is Project Monarch; the one surrounding the Beta-slaves of Hollywood, which involves the CIA, satanic paedophiles, and starlets.

    It sounds like something J.G. Ballard would’ve written about.

    Another funny one is that Paul McCartney died in 1966 and the current one is a clone/doppelganger.

    Agree with admin. arguing on the internet is for spastics, no matter their grandiloquence.

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