Alex Kurtzman

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Alex Kurtzman is a cunt. For those who don’t know, Kurtzman is, allegedly, a producer. I say allegedly, because he’s completely shite at producing decent, engaging entertainment. His list of ‘credits’ include Transformers, the shit Tom Cruise version of the The Mummy, the worst Spiderman movie, Star Trek: Discovery and Star Trek: Picard. This guy is a kind of King Midas, except everything he touches turns to shit.

His latest project is Clarice, a rip off…sorry…spin off of the Silence of the Lambs, which focuses on Clarice Starling about a year after the events of the movie. One of the biggest problems of the show, is that because of licensing issues, they cannot legally mention the one character everyone is really interested in, Hannibal Lector. And of course, being produced by Kurtzman, it’s woke as fuck. This time however, things are different. The MSM have ripped him a new one over the show, and it’s about fucking time. One reviewer even called him an IP hack, because that’s what he does, he attaches himself to the intellectual property of someone else, and then fucks it up. Kurtzman is a classic example of an absolutely incompetent twat failing upwards.

Discovery alone is a literal shit show, focussing on a female character who is not only the original Mary Sue, but is irredeemably contemptible. The stories themselves are fucking pathetic, in the recent third season a female ensign (the lowest commissioned rank in the US Navy, because they use those ranks in Star Trek) goes from being a neurotic ensign to a neurotic executive officer to a neurotic captain in the blink of an eye, literally leapfrogging higher, far more experienced ranks. And she was fucking useless. Now we learn that Kurtzman considered the wokery in the show to be insufficient, so it’s been announced that the fourth season will feature an all female bridge crew. That wouldn’t be a bad thing, if the show was any good, but it isn’t. In fact, Kurtzman has admitted that he doesn’t see it as entertainment, he sees the show as a platform for his woke bullshit. And Picard was even worse.

The ONLY thing this festering boil on a warthog’s ass is good at, is being achingly woke. For that alone, he’s a cunt.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

50 thoughts on “Alex Kurtzman”

  1. All i can say is I havent watched any of Kurtzman’s woke offerings since midway through the first series of Discovery.
    Too much ‘Planet Gayblack’, obnoxious women and shit writing. The Klingons were turned into complete fucking mutants.

    I whole-heartedly endorse this cunting.

  2. Good nom QDMG – All Hollyweid seems obsessed with churning out is unwatchable dumbed down kiddy shit and appalling woke remakes which take no talent, graft or skill.
    But the good news is that this drivel is driving more and more people away, which hits the film studios in the pocket – and the bottom line is all that matters to them so there may be something worth watching on the horizon.
    I can’t wait for IAC – The movie! 😃👍

    • Catch line: “Written by cunts, for cunts”.

      We’ll be swimming in filthy lucre, bagsy the ‘Uncle Ernie’ role

      • You want to (not) see wokefest. I had the distinct misfortune to see a newish film called ‘News of the World’ a few days ago!

        A western with Tom Hanks in should have had me suspicious but I thought as I watch all these latest films free through a streaming site, why not. Pfffft white man bad everyone else good if not by deeds then by inference including all Indians, all Black men and all Chinese throughout the whole film 🤮 The film deserves accounting in its own right tbh but thankfully I forgotten a good deal of it 😷

      • Hanks is your typical Hollywoke bell end living in their own luvvie bubble in an exclusively white gated community. When Ricky Gervais tore these dickheads apart at the Golden Globes last year, Hanks looked like he was about to cry.

      • I thought Hanks had fucked off out of the USA because of allegations of kiddy fiddling.

      • I’m guessing reply into moderation? It doesn’t say on an iPad, it just disappears. May happen Admin will reveal all 🤓

  3. The original Star Trek lasted two series? Should of ended it there.

    When will these cunts understand the majority of us don’t want liberal propaganda wrapped in woke ribbons, we want to be entertained. Woke causes are not entertaining.

    As for the trilogy of books surrounding Dr Lecter it was actually a man who brought him to justice in the first book Red Dragon, the original film Manhunter based on Ted Dragon where Lecter is played by Brian Cox is a fucking good film.

      • In a galaxy far far a way there’s an alternative me who’s not engaged in a constant war against autocorrect.

        Now you’ve pointed out the error it reminded me of the lorry park whore known as Teds Horse who’s fame reached a new high when she took payment of 16 pence and a roll up from a driver.

    • Sid nails it; yet another white hating Hollywood fuckin’ smurf spouting the usual egalitarian bollocks.

  5. Just imagine the shit show that would ensue if geneticists spliced the DNA of Alex Kurtzman, Rian Johnson and Chris Chibnall into some kind fucked up chimera? It would be a creative black hole that imagination couldn’t escape from.

    • Maybe they should be thrown into Katie Price’s hole. There is no escape from that either.

  6. All the nominally “male” ( they can’t be considered actual men) writers of all this current woke nonsense enjoy being humiliated and pegged by their blue-haired girlfriends.
    It was nice to hear that people actually put their money where there mouth is and cancelled Disney+ after they sacked hard-looking horn-monster Gina Carano, causing their stock to dip.
    Fucking Disney, just like Alex Kurtzman, everything the currently touch turns to utter scheiße.

    • No Chris Chibnall has to peg himself by sitting in the corner of the bedroom with a butt plug inserted while his wife is busy servicing her boyfriend.

    • Gina Carano… Lovely… Wonder if she takes it up the bottle and glass?

      Such depraved and pleasant thoughts aside, I am also pleased that Disney are getting fucked off. Just when the finally made something decent (The Mandalorian), they fuck it up and show their true woke colours, by pandering to a bunch of faceless, perpetually offended, pimple ravaged, BO reeking, spunk stained, 30 odd year old virgin social media spoilt bastards and grasses. The spineless snivelling cunts.

      • I thought that corporate greed would make Disney see sense after they changed course, sidelined Kathleen Kannedy in favour or John Favreau and Dave Filoni but it would appear not.

  7. Nowadays nothing can be produced without certain characteristics.
    A black character or characters
    A gay or fish supper character
    A ducky darling character
    All must be shown in a positive role.
    They cant be killed off.
    And a woke storyline is the law.
    Really most would die of ‘space Aids’ ,
    The blacks would be enslaved again but by Klingons,
    And the fish suppers would cop for a lazer blast to the face for being arsey.

    In space no-one can hear you mutter….

  8. While I liked the original Star Trek,
    I hated that ducky chink
    And wrote Gene Roddenberry hatemail and death threats for showing the first bi racial kiss on tv.

    • I prefered the polystyrene planets and 1960s female aliens in twiggy fashions, plus you always knew that the one to get killed was the crew member you’d never seen before,… it’s life jim but not as you know it

  9. he looks like a small hat cunt, none of them have talent but are gifted the job of their choice after the rabbit chews their foreskin off

  10. Alex Kurtzman is can of can’t of the highest, most supreme.
    Boils my water hotter than a kettle.
    Worse than James Corden and Jamie Oliver!
    I know! I know! You’re probably thinking, ‘Fork me! It must be true if Spoonington thinks he’s worse than those two bunch of can’ts. But combined?! Cor! Did he forget to take his tablets?’

    Kuntzman knows nothing and ruins everything.

    He will die a slow, painful death without honour and not go to stovokor.
    He is not fit to be fed to a Klingon targ.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=E5fQtm0no6c

    Please put him in Room 101 forever and ever amen.

    I need a holiday on the pleasure planet Risa.

  11. What gets me is these woke bottybashers like Kurtzman and Chibnall aren’t even fans of the shows they run/ruin. Russell .T. Davies – for all his faults – at least was a true Doctor Who fan, and he (mostly) handled the legend and legacy with care and respect. For Chibnall (and, to a certain extent, that Moffat cunt) it’s just an excuse for a self indulgent ego wank and a woke dictatorship. Chibnall has no respect for the show’s past or its continuity. He Just writes and re-writes it as ‘he wants it’ and ‘because he can’. Peter Capaldi’s tenure as the Doc was sadly excruciating, but Jodie Whittakunt’s Doctor has been nothing short of televisual excrement. I do think she is crap and that she shouldn’t have got anywhere near the part. But with Chibnall and his BBC woke stasi overlords in charge, even Bette Davis, Dorothy Tutin, or Katherine Hepburn couldn’t make anything decent out of the steaming drivel that Chibnall spunks out. Chibnall has no love for the series, that is glaringly obvious. And like that Kurtzman cunt with Star Trek, he doesn’t care if he runs it into the ground.

    • By the way, Dorothy Tutin (RIP) was the definitive and best Anne Boleyn.

      Woke Jungle VIPs on Channel 5, my arse.

    • Chibnall has pretended to be a Doctor Who fan since the eighties. I know a few people who have told me that he considered himself to be the foremost expert on the show, and would regularly turn up at Doctor Who conventions throughout the 90’s and 2000’s, acting the big man and expecting everyone to treat him like a King. Instead, real fans mercilessly put him in his place. He didn’t like that. And I think part of the reason he’s destroyed the show, is to get revenge on those fans who didn’t show him the deference he thinks he deserves.

  14. If a sci fi show has Roddy McDowall, Doug McClure, or Ron Eli in, or the special effects of Ray Harryhausen,
    I’ll watch it.
    I didnt realise how much I actually liked it but I do like sci-fi.
    I get enough reality thanks!
    Bit of escapism is alright by me!👍
    Live long and prosper…

    • Doug McClure would have twatted every dinosaur in the crap Jurassic World sequels with one hand tied behind his back, while Peter Cushing mopped up any uppity tribesmen with his brolly 😆

      • BB@ while I like Doug McClure hes a funny choice for a leading role isnt he?
        Good looking? Well not really
        Muscular? No
        Good actor? Well not really
        But on the plus side his face fills the screen!!😀

  15. Bung Kurtzman in the oven, but leave enough room for JJ “lens flare” Abrams, Ruin Johnson and Barbara “bullshit” Broccoli.
    Actually just immolate the entire film industry and start over again…

  16. I do wonder if a cunt like this ever gets pulled by a senior studio executive and asks why their work is box office poison?
    I also assume this never happens as they are completely detached from reality and have a life threatening cocaine habit.
    Keep up the good work you soft soy cunts.

  17. This stuff makes me angry. Television of the simps, by the simps, and for the simps, and apologists for pea doughs. This stuff is going to look ridiculous in a few years time, kind of like when the puritans banned theatre, or the tales of Victorians putting skirts around piano legs. The way these woke idiots scoff at the ways of the recent past with it’s stupid old people will realise it’ll happen to them. The young will turn on them, all of them, including this gurning hairy-faced waste of organs. Time for my medication, apologies everyone.

  18. Discovery was a bad soap in space.

    Thanks for telling me who helped make that bag o’ shite. I will be sure to avoid this cunt in future.

  19. Never heard of the cunt. But all modern films are woke crap. Fuck him and fuck em all.

  20. Don’t know what this is on about, but I do see a soyboy CUNT. Good enough for me.

  21. And Kathleen Kennedy is a scum cunt.
    Deliberately trying to capsize the Mandalorian series because it isn’t woke enough.
    A complete and utter fucking cunt.

  22. I was a massive Star Trek fan since birth (1966) and watched every incarnation.
    Once JJ Abrahams got hold of it, it started to go down hill with things like alternative timelines.
    Star Trek Discovery is a pile of wank.
    The first series with Jason Isaacs wasn’t too bad but as the black female lead called Michael took over, it rapidly turned into a shit show.
    Long gone were the original prime directives, now this ship seemed to start wars with everyone.
    Kurtzman is a galaxy sized cunt and so is Disney for doing the same to Star Wars. Can’t abide to watch either of them now.

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