The Commercialisation of Easter

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I wish to nominate commercialism in the form of Easter.

I went to the shops (Coles) on Boxing Day to stock up on gin and tonic water (farken hot here) and what do I see prominently displayed near the entrance? FUCKING hot crossed buns.

Odin’s fucking teeth and Juno’s tits! One most sincerely hopes the gates of Hell look like the entrance to Auschwitz and instead of “arbeit macht frei” say “The Jews were right you cunts”.

Nominated by: Shackledragger 

72 thoughts on “The Commercialisation of Easter”

  1. Same here in Rugby.When I went to my local Tesco store on Boxing day they started selling Easter eggs.What is the world coming to?A piss take

  2. I’m pretty sure Easter was first commercialised when Mott the Hoople sang Roll Away the Stone.

  3. “Ooh let’s all eat over-priced chocolate in ovum form because Jesus got nailed”.

    Sometimes I wish I was straight, so I could have married, settled down, and had kids in order to not give them shite like Easter Eggs.

    • Easter. AKA Oestre – a celebration of the goddess of light and spring.
      Eliminated and renamed by christians.
      And Jesus was definitely reported to have said “I’ll be back Monday – keep your thieving Jew hands off me Easter eggs you proper set of bastards”! Allegedly! 😃
      Everything is commercialised so businesses can sell you stuff you don’t want.
      It’s what they do.

  4. Hot Cross Buns are on sale all the year round , I buy a pack of 4 every other week from Tesco…. extra Fruity.

  5. Morrison’s was full of eggs earlier this week, of the chocolate variety.

    What with that and some shit invading my ears over the PA system telling me no cunt should go hungry in the UK so they are contributing to food banks, my piss was well and truly boiling.

    • Makes you want to storm their office, take control of the microphone and shout to the shoppers “it’s all bullshit. It’s all FACKING BULLSHIT!!!!!”

  6. Didnt realise you got hot cross buns anywhere other than England?
    Thought in Oz itd be ‘abbo cakes’ or ‘roo tarts’ or something.
    Easter is the religious celebration of chocolate,
    One of gods greatest gifts
    Jesus was his son but cadbury was his favourite.

  7. Easter Eggs were special back in 1950s /60s. Now they’re as common as muck.

    I still enjoy a Cadburys cream egg (or five) around Easter, but try to avoid stuff like that the rest of the year cos I don’t fancy catching diabetes or cancer.

    My body is a temple.

    • Evening Ruff, never been a fan of the creme egg,
      Bit sickly.
      But love the cadbury easter egg Chocolate.
      Yanks will mess with the recipe and fuck it up sooner or later.
      I honestly believe that certain iconic British brands shouldnt be allowed to be owned by foreigners.
      Or land, or property.
      In fact nothing.
      Or be allowed to visit.
      😁

      • The UK Cadburys stuff seems to have escaped a change of recipe. American chocolate is vile.

        In other news, the Old Trout and Phil the Greek have received their Covid vaccines… I’ve got the Queen in my Dead Pool, hee-hee! 😁

      • Mis:

        Cadbury’s cream eggs will forever remind me of my mate “Bill”, whom I was in a punk band with, back in the 80’s.
        He informed us at a midweek practice, that he had done a Jagger/Faithful on his new girlfriend (he was 17 / she 16), substituting a cream egg for the Mars bar😳
        Big mistake-that Saturday night, as they walked into the pub, we all started shouting “fancy a Cream egg?” and other such like.
        She fucked off, he was pissed off😂

  8. Our crazy neighbour used to believe he was a chocolate orange.
    His wife had to get him sectioned….

  9. It’s seems to just be the Christian festivals that are treated so shabbily…you don’t see the Muzzas giving each other a shitty chocolate egg to celebrate Ramajamadindong..although I suppose they might allow the other members of their gang a free go on their young white “girlfriend”.
    ….and of course the Jews wouldn’t give away as much as the smell off their fart, no matter what the occasion.

    I like a pickled egg…not so wild on creme eggs.

    • Ever tried those asian sweets Dick?
      Handmade, brightly coloured,
      Tend to have a lot of coconut in them, almost pure sugar,
      Pretty orrible.
      A Pakistani I worked with bought me some,
      I thanked him but threw them in the bin untouched.

      • I haven’t,Mis.

        I don’t even like Turkish Delight. I like those boiled sweets that come in a tin or real dark chocolate…I do buy a tin of Roses at Christmas but usually just eat a couple and then forget about them.

      • Sir Fidler:

        I would have you down an an aficionado if high quality after dinner mints, to compliment the obligatory fine port and selection of cheeses, that must surely follow a perfectly cooked Frey Bentos main.
        What advice would an epicure such as yourself, have to offer the social climbers and wannabes of IsAC, on such matters?
        🤔

      • “I do buy a tin of Roses at Christmas but usually just eat a couple and then forget about them.”

        Why would you do that?

        L.O.L!

      • I buy all kinds of shite and then forget about it…spices,sauces,pickles etc.

        I bet you scrape every last drop out of the marmalade jar,eh Ruff?

      • Evening,General.

        My advice to anyone who buys those dreadful After-Eight things would be to stick a couple between the arse cheeks of their sleeping wife and let her think that she has shat herself in her sleep….B+WC could try this and really impress his ladyfriend with his dedication to arse-licking.

      • Ha ha
        That has planted a seed😉
        No After Eights in the house, however a large bar of Galaxy in the larder-a few pieces of that should provide an even more realistic substitute👍

      • I certainly don’t buy tins of chocolates every year that I know are not to my taste.

        The only thing I bought this year to celebrate is a bottle of Baileys, but only had a couple of slugs then forgot about the rest….

        Not really! 😂

      • Ruff, once I got it into my head I probably liked olives.
        Tried them three times
        Hated them every time.
        Even now im not totally convinced I don’t like them.

      • I’ve got an opened bottle of Baileys in the cupboard..it’s about 15 years old at a guess..there’s only been a couple of glasses out of it….I shall forward it to you. Can’t send you the sweeties…I give them to the horses.

      • You should have said you bought them for the horses in the first place! Now it makes sense.

      • I’d never be so wasteful as to buy sweets for horses,RTC. 🙂 .
        …but I do seem to buy a lot of things that go to waste…there’s cupboards full of whiskies that I try and then just put away…jams are another frequent buy that never get finished..pots of honey…tins of shortbread etc….suppose I should chuck them all out but they’re not hurting anyone so I just leave them where they are.

      • Open Whiskey does not go off.
        I will happily prove this when u visit the vast Fiddler estate
        On that note, I am still to receive your invitation…..should I file a complaint with my local sorting office?
        🤔

      • “I visit”

        As the 3rd glass of “Tamnavulin” I purchased last night at wankburys (£34 down to £22) will never have the opportunity to demonstrate 😗

      • You should take everything to your local food bank. It would probably see off a lot of those starving brats and their feckless parents.

  12. I notice that there are several Belgium suppliers who won’t supply the UK at the moment because of complications filling in new forms.
    I recognise that Belgium chocolates and beers are popular in the UK but this is an excellent time to boycott Belgium goods and tell this shit stained country to fuck off. Chocolates are easy to obtain and British real ales are better than any Belgium ones.
    It’s payback time you cunts and you’ll pay for your past evil ways.
    *** BUY BRITISH ***

    • I totally agree Bertie.
      We also have plenty of fine chocolatiers in the uk. Belgium chocolate is too bloody rich, anyway.

      • Me too#
        British Beers are far superior!!🇬🇧🇬🇧
        And so is our chocolate far as im concerned.
        Oh and our detectives,
        Ms Marple, Sherlock Holmes,
        Hercule poirott?…greasy effete shitstabber.

    • Unfortunately we also have to fill in forms to sell our shite to the EU 27.

      It will be the last straw for some British firms and manufacturers already on the brink of going under thanks to our government’s hopeless response to the pandemic.

      • Conversely Ruff, small boutique British specialists may flourish🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

    • I am thinking of putting a beer order in with Sam Smith’s, Tadcaster. Great Imperial Stout and fruit beers which I have very high hopes for (especially cherry and raspberry). If you want some decent GB chocolates, “Hotel Chocolat” is good, despite the French name

      • If you like there imperial stout, try Baltic Trader by Green Jack. 10.5% and in a 750ml bottle. Just had 36 bottles of assorted beers of that size delivered. The Fullers Imperial stout is superb as well and in a 500ml bottle.

      • Cheers for that, FM!!
        Green Jack not yet on my radar, but Fuller’s were pd local when I wor a lad (saarf of the Thames)!

  13. Nostalgia alert:

    As a lad, a weekly trip to the sweet shop in town or Woolworths pic n’ mix on the way to the Saturday morning picture show at the local ABC cinema.
    Happy days👍

    • I was thrown out of a Woolworths not long before they closed down. I’d had a drink or two and decided to sample their pick ‘n’ mix…got through quite a heap before some old trout started yammering on..as I told her,I wasn’t going to buy until I was quite convinced that I liked them..I had to beat a retreat after the security guard told me that he’d called the Police.

    • 🎶 We come along on a Saturday morning,
      Greeting everybody with a smile, smile, smile. 🎶

      Then watch Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello, Dan Dare, Flash Gordon.
      Fuckin’ hell happy days!

      • Notice all the pursuits of ordinary working people have gone?
        Football
        Pubs
        Going the pictures
        Jesus, get 10 month for sitting in the park feeding the ducks!!
        Whats happened to our culture?
        I want it back!!

      • Mis-the fortitude of we Brits is legendary.
        Not the woke cunts-I’m talking about the strong willed Anglo-Saxon men & women.
        They can try, we shall not break👍

      • Quite often an old Ealing comedy or a Sid James vehicle 👍
        This was 1970’s for me👍

      • 😢😢😢

        Sniff.
        Your not wrong Bertie-think I got some dust in my eye….

        Barrow in Furness looks a bit different today😢

    • CG, ive done a nom about this recently, but don’t know if its made the cut ?
      Miss going the pictures.

  15. Going to the local fleapit (Curzon) with my Unc for Morecambe & Wise “The Riviera Touch”, and him telling me what happened at the end of the film. So that we could make a quick getaway. Why? He said he’d done enough in the war, wasn’t going to stand for the National Anthem!!

  16. Liebore members pass a motion of no confidence in Kweir Starmer.
    The lefty cunts are eating themselves

  17. I would pin them all to the wall and then put on a screening of Derek Jarman’s ‘Sebastiane’, so they’d had all cocks waving in their wilted faces.

  18. Cadbury creme egg advert. 2 benders sharing an egg at the same time. Want to be sick………

  19. My local, Waitrose sells hot cross buns all year. Admittedly they’re more prominent between Jan and Easter.

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