KFC

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KFC or Kentucky Fried Chicken as we all knew it growing up and their relentless radio adverts.

Get to fuck.

The latest incarnation is………

KFC on that comfortable sofa, KFC by the roaring fire……. then my brain scrambles as I genuinely can’t believe what I’m hearing but I think the gist is you can get it delivered by the ‘roaring fire’ on Christmas Day.

FuckaDoodledoo, if ever there was the perfect caricature of everything that sums up the slovenlinly terminally stupid cunts that still actually share the right with me to vote, this is it.

Lets just rewind and replay.

Jordan and Talisha have been ‘on it’ for 24 hours, actually make that 48.

They’ve sniffed everything and have drunk 26 litres of Lambrini

The kids are fucking doing me head in and I just need to eat somat man.

Call that cunt from KFC and stick another fiver on the ‘leccy card’ before that one bar goes out.

Oh and whilst your at it I want one of them coffee coloured babeeeesssss

Nominated by: CuntyMcCuntface

46 thoughts on “KFC”

  1. KFC? Chicken, grease and some foulness alleging to be chips.
    The slop of choice for chavs and black criminals, who appear blissfully ignorant of the fact that the founder Colonel Sanders was a racist white slave plantation owner.
    Never had it, I prefer food.

  2. Diane Abbott is very unhappy that KFC has been cunted. She thinks it’s waycist to cunt KFC and that eating chiggun is her yuman rite.

  4. Food for fat fucks and kaffirs, I’d never touch such vile produce or let it near my family, ych a fi, yuk yuk yuk

  6. A few years ago I nominated Nando’s which is the slightly posher version of this ghastly shite. Same crap, same stench, same greebo grub, different lighting. While the poorly-educated chubbies pile in to the motor to drive to a business park Nando’s because it seems like fine-dining, the poorly-educated, shabbily-dressed pîkeys totter down to this cheap, Yank, plastic franchise for their piece of over-salted, chucky corpse. For the same price as two chicken’n’chips wiv coke they could probably buy a week’s fruit’n’veg though they wouldn’t attain that dead-eyed, pale-glowing, greasy skin, junkie chic look.

    • I remember that much-merited cunting Cap’n; this is a much needed addition to the genre.

      Oh, and what the FUCK is that thing in the pic?
      Jesus.

      I’m pretty sure it’s not Jesus. What we all want to know I’m sure, is how does it survive out of water? – NA

      • Should it be “they” not “the”? It looks like it was written by our Les. 😉

        Also, is that a pair of shorts he’s wearing it just some post-KFC fecal matter smeared to his chair?

        Evening Ron. HNY 🎇

  7. All chiggin shops are halal. They can stick their blessed by mo meat up their collective arses.

  9. Captain – I remember a good few years ago visiting KFC on Edge Lane, Liverpool as a ‘Mystery Customer’ on the drive through.
    The first thing noticeable along the outside of the building were rat traps. I suggested in my report, changing the name to Kendodd’s Faeces Chicken.

    • Ha ha, all their food is a bit of a mystery, Albert. For goodness’ sake don’t type ‘deep-fried mouse KFC’ into a search engine.

      🐭

    • Sounds fowl Bertie, I wonder if when these places first opened it was like those scenes from the opening of the first McDonalds in the post-Soviet Union with snaking lines of trackies and baseball caps as far as the eye could see.

      • Evening LL. I think I was the first person to pay for the person in the queue behind me to eat it!
        😅

      • When they opened the first McDonald’s in Stockport, around 1981/82,
        I remember they sold Root beer that tasted like Germolene,
        And was gherkins all over the pavement outside.
        No cunt had ever seen a gherkin before,
        This was in the days where a fat person was publicly heckled and rare rather than the norm.

      • That made me laugh Miserable, the good folk of Stockport protesting gherkins! The cucumbers ugly twin.

      • The bitter sinister dw@rf of the cucumber world😀

        I like them, but never seen one till McDonald’s invaded.

      • I got caught masturbating with a pickle once.

        My ma walked in and found me Gherkin off!

      • I was in the Soviet Moscow and the cunts took us to look at Muckdonalds. I realised the time was up for the reds. Stupid commie cunts.

  10. I used to know a bird called KFC. Once you’d finished with the breast and thigh, all that was left was a greasy box to put your bone in.

    • It used to be fuckin gorgeous back in the 70s.
      It was a big treat as a kid, how American!
      Used to beg my mam and dad for the last piece and I’d gnaw it till it had less meat on the bone than Victoria Beckham.
      Then it got franchised to dirty smelly ethnic cunts who spoilt it.
      Tasteless, greasy, shite now,
      Fondled by some jihadi cunt who wipes his arse with his hand.
      Shame, I miss it same as most things from the 70s.

      • I can’t say I miss avocado baths, geometric wallpaper, 70s home decor and wearing flares. I didn’t like 70s home decor at the time and now all that ugly furniture is back ‘in’ amongst wankers who eat avocado on toast rather than have it in the bathroom as a colour.

        Do miss the ‘if you’ve had an accident it was your fault you stupid beggar’ attitude.

      • Cuntologist@
        We had a telly that had a wood effect on it and a fridge with a wood effect veneer😁
        I miss common sense, traditional gender roles,
        And good music.
        I reckon apart from the decor and furnishings it was a better time.

  11. Just seen a KFC grease dog on the TV, goes by the name of Pa Salieu, looks like he is straight out of da jungle init, he has got an award from the BBC or summat for his crap, oops, I mean rap.
    His comment, in something that resembles a form of English, ‘I come from da real life ya know’
    His real life involved just about ducking at the right time and was only hit by a few shotgun pellets.

    Other chiggun shops are available.

    (By coincidence a nomination for this gangsta cunt is already in place – DA)

  12. Fuck KFC. As mentioned by others, it’s greasy, undercooked shite for the mentally challenged.

    The sheer volume of advertising they put out on the TV is mind-boggling. 2, sometimes 3 of their cringe inducing “funny” ads in one break. Not sure how they get away with it either, as laws were passed where fast food wasn’t to be over promoted at peak times, to try and stop the great unwashed being suckered in by it.

    The other notable “food outlets” barely advertise, ever. Why the fuck KFCunt needs to be seen front and centre non stop is anyone’s guess.

  13. It’s been ages since I had a KFC. I loved their chips and gravy.

    P.s admin, the nomination picture, where did you find that picture of me in my youth?! I’m upset. No cake for you hehe 😀

  14. Fucking hell, leonardo DiCaprio has let himself go, how is Kate Winslet or Margot robbie going to suck his cock with that fat gut in the way? Answers on a postcard please, bbc TV wood lane wokedom

    • Sid, allegedly a large cradle is used to support the flab, it’s similar size and shape to that fucking great net thing Space X use to catch falling bits of space rocket. Takes a while to get it all hitched up and expose the old fella and the intimate zones.

      When it’s all safely up and out of the way, then the call goes out for Kate, she loves a bit of the old rusty ring and rims for a while before turning her attention to the old meat and two veg. Almost simultaneously Margot takes her place around the old sphincter. Winslett, it has to be said has never gone down better since the good ole titanic days. She likes a bit of chubby.

      Whilst this is going on down south, further north the bargain buckets of the colonels old rats thighs dipped in Cajun seasoning are being consumed, washed down with full fat Pepsi. Lurvely.

  15. I enjoy the odd KFC…don’t have it often but sometimes get a big bucket of it if I happen to be working somewhere handy. Wouldn’t want it often but it’s like McDonalds or BurgerKing for me…something that is too far to go to buy regularly so a nice change when I do have it.

  16. I remember back in the 70’s you could get a nice chicken gravy with your KFC chiggun. Tasted wonderful after15 pints of Watneys red barrel

    • Anything would taste wonderful after Watney’s Red Barrel. I’ve only had KFC once, when I was on a rugby tour in Amsterdam and was too pissed to care. It could have been fried fanny, peas and chips for all I knew.

      • May well have been chicken cloaca, with eleven secret herbs and spices and one or two more from the barnyard

  17. Tried the chips once, back in the 80s. Shite. But you can get this and Greggs delivered by a black pimp through Just Eat. What’s not to like? If you are a fat cunt and a drain on the NHS, and the benefits system .

  18. Pity D-Fens didn’t go into KFC instead of Whammy Burger. You get about 5 chips in a bag at KFC which have the texture and taste of wet cardboard. Then there’s the chicken, it’s got more oil and grease on it than a double decker bus. And Colonel Sanders looks like Rolf Harris.

  19. I’m now a Jollibee convert. Crispy on the outside and juicy on the inside.

    Wouldn’t touch the undercooked, flacid greasy shit from KFC again if you paid me.

  20. Don’t be so harsh. David Lammy knows one of the chickens who was turned into KFC you know.

  21. Fucking overpriced muck for the ignorant masses…clog those arteries.

    If the nation is in lockdown except for essential food etc how come these fucking shitholes can still flog their poison? since when has junk food been essential?

    Get fucked, they always have some chirppy cunt doing the ads to, what a bunch of shizzle.

  22. I remember a story about a pet food factory, it rejected a batch of chickens, kfc processing plant accepted them😱

  23. In the last week of December my daughter tried the 4 Piece Colonel’s Meal because she was hungry and everywhere else was shut. My God: It looked OK, it smelt OK, she had 2 and I had one. We both had upset tummies for 24 hours. Not severe, but dodgy guts. The cat, initially excited by the smell of chicken, refused to eat it – so there’s definitely something wrong there.

    Many KFC establishments are not clean. Many years ago my pal worked in Manchester and they were all warned not to go to a particular one (Can’t remember where). Everyone who went there got upset tummies.

    The story of Colonel Sanders is interesting:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colonel_Sanders
    He seemed like a larger than life Boss Hogg type character. His Colonel title not being a military Colonel but more like a Mayor.

    He sold the rights to KFC but then they changed the recipes.
    “My God, that gravy is horrible. They buy tap water for 15 to 20 cents a thousand gallons and then they mix it with flour and starch and end up with pure wallpaper paste. And I know wallpaper paste, by God, because I’ve seen my mother make it. … There’s no nutrition in it and they ought not to be allowed to sell it. … crispy recipe is nothing in the world but a damn fried doughball stuck on some chicken.”

    Sanders and his wife reopened their Shelbyville restaurant as “Claudia Sanders, The Colonel’s Lady” and served KFC-style chicken there as part of a full-service dinner menu, and talked about expanding the restaurant into a chain.[37] He was sued by the company for it.[37][38] After reaching a settlement with Heublein, he sold the Colonel’s Lady restaurant, and it has continued to operate, currently as the Claudia Sanders Dinner House.[37][38] It serves his “original recipe” fried chicken as part of its non-fast-food dinner menu, and it is the only non-KFC restaurant that serves an authorized version of the fried chicken recipe.

    They had a semi-good reputation as early as 1972 and were featured as a “treat” by Bob Ferris for Terry in The Likely Lads film.

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