Today’s deserving recipient of a good cunting is Sir Keir Starmer the alleged Leader of the Opposition.
‘Opposition’ is defined as ‘a contrast or antithesis’, which you’d be forgiven for thinking would mean offering something distinct from this Government of nodding Churchill dogs. Not so for Starmer, a living tribute to ‘Brilliant Beige’ on the Dulux paint chart.
His fans simper about how he’s so ‘forensic’, which I’m sure is great if you’re swabbing Leicester’s cottage queens for Keith Vaz’s salty deposits, but less so if you actually want to know what you’re voting for.
His shadow cabinet – Starmie’s Angels – are about as satisfying as a pack of Asda Smartprice sausages, and with a depressingly similar amount of filler. Anneliese Dodds, the shadow chancellor, has Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall as her personal stylist, whilst beloved gob-on-a-stick David Lammy continues his career of blaming everything from council tax to Waitrose running out of papayas on being black. The most exciting character, and I use that word advisedly, is Deputy Leader Angela Rayner – voice sponsored by the Mersey Ferries foghorn.
Anyway, back to the man himself; he made a fairly content-free speech yesterday setting out what ‘securing the economy’ looked like. After striding on to stage and glancing lovingly to camera like something out of a Right Guard advert (‘What the world really needs right now is an antiperspirant that can handle all life throws at it’) he mumbled on about ‘family values’ and ‘getting tough on crime’. These are phrases straight from the pages of the 1987 Tory election leaflet stuffed between the cum-stained back issues of Razzle that David Cameron keeps in his Tyrolean shepherds hut.
Then of course, like all good acts, he played the old stuff. ‘We need stronger lockdown measures in the next 24 hours’. His sermons are like a box of chocolates, except you know EXACTLY what you’re going to get; pious preaching about lockdowns, bloody circuit breakers and extra restrictions. When asked by a canny journalist what measures he would actually put in place he had no idea. He just looked panicked and blurted out ‘close the nurseries’.
Starmer’s lockdown obsession, like cystitis, just keeps grumbling on. You take the antibiotics, drink buckets of cranberry juice and hope it fucks off but no, before you know it the burning sensation is back.
Journalists and other politicians need to start jumping on his glib little pronouncements and asking him what he would do and when he would do it, BEFORE any new Government policy announcements. The cunt would be straight into the Sunlit Uplands Retirement Home for Failed Labour Leaders before you could say ‘Clause 4’.
Nominated by: Gloria Stitz
Seconded by: Coolforcunts
A short, after the horse has bolted, cunting for everybody’s favourite Tony Blair impersonator, Kier Starmer!
Same theatrical hand gestures, starting his replies with “look”, with a similar insincere smile when he is interviewed. If people think Boris is bad imagine Starmer in charge. Every time I hear him he’s gleefully boasting about how he would’ve done it faster, different and better, AFTER the fact of course. He is basically a broken clock that thinks because he is right twice in 24hrs he isn’t broken, he’s had a result! He is the personification of the Harry Enfield character “ooooh you don’t wanna do it like that, you wanna do it like this”, but with a posher, effeminate and more annoying voice!
Fuck off!
He looks like your stereotypical Disney twist villain
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That’s just shat himself rather badly, by the expression on his face.
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He also looks like a physically deformed Max Headroom.
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And Boris looks like the Sugar Puffs Honey Monster
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The thing about that shitsatin Starmer, the miserable little worm, is that he waits till the government floats an idea (keep schools closed till March, for example) thn Dame Keir will “suggest” or “demand” the very self same idea the government has floated.
It’s a hollow vessel that makes most noise, and Starmer rattles round emitting piss and wind – and shit much of the time.
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Judging by the nom pic it looks like the old Chalfonts St Giles are playing up again.
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He has a complexion like undercooked roast beef.
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I thought the same – but I am surprised because he seems the perfect arsehole.
Nonetheless, he and Adonis look as if they could do with a full course of AnalEase suppositories.
Judigng by Dame Keir’s squeaky, hectoring little voice I should also say he is a martyr to constipation.
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No original ideas of his own. Just a professional moaning cunt.
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10 🧐 Then on the wall with this ineffectual, in retrospect, mirror-man, Blairite cunt, say I 🥳
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Max headroom is why Conservative governments cannot get anything through Blairs civil service. What a kwar cunt.
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This quiffy old cunt could certainly give the likes of John Inman, Julian Clary, Christopher Biggins or Danny La Rue a run in the Panto Dame Stakes.
At least if fortunes go on the wane for him as the Labour leader, he could quite easily fall back on a role as Widow Twanky in Aladdin or Lotte Trottalot in Jack and the Beanstalk.
“Coo-eee. He’s behind you”
“Ooohhhh!!”
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Mr Hindsight Boris calls him and, for once at least, he is quite right. A hopeless, useless wanker in charge of an even bigger bunch of wankers. Starmzy couldn’t find his own arse in a dark room the prick.
People compare him to Blair but he hasn’t got the charisma, the brains or, to be fair, the essential cuntishness of that piece of dogshit.
He can still fuck off though.
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Excellent Mr Frog.
Nothing further to add.
Apart from a right uppercut.
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I’ve written a ode to the grubby, little opportunist:
Ever the wheeler- dealer, ever the smarmy charmer;
Starmer the fucking Kneeler, Starmer the fucking Farmer.
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I thought some of you might enjoy this little poem I found about the going on in Parliament: Worthy of JRC himself.
The Country was in a terrible state,
As the Parliament sat for the Budget Debate.
It was quite a few minutes before Rishi spoke,
Then he said, ‘Sex will cost you two quid a poke,
Whether your short, skinny or thick.
A tax will be paid on the use of your dick’.
Keir Starmer rose and said ‘Rishi look here,
Will this tax apply to those who are queer?’
Alan Duncan looked rather glum,
‘May I be exempt, I only like bum.’
Rishi replied and sounded quite airy
‘You’ll pay double you dirty old fairy’
Up rose Boris, to tremendous applause
Grabbed Dawn Butler and ripped off her drawers
He straddled across her and screwed her at will
Then shouted to Rishi, ‘Put that on the Bill’
Bottomley shouted, ‘I think I’ll resign,
I haven’t had sex for a very long time.
I dream every night of a big juicy crutch,
But two quid a go .. that’s too bloody much.’
The House was in uproar, the fighting went on,
Till Lindsay banged on the Bar with his dong,
‘With a tax on a poke in the front and the back
All we can do is have a good whack.’
I disagree said Russel-Moyle with a leer,
And stuck his wee prick into Chris Bryant’s ear.
The backbenchers came and the Cabinet went
Jenrick took his out and found it was bent.
‘Look here’, he cried as it swung in the air,
‘For those who are bent a discount is fair.’
So all checked their dicks, the Speaker was last,
And in the excitement, the damn Bill was passed.
So now in the beds of England at night,
There’s many a fanny that’s closed up real tight.
They’re taxing our booze and taxing our smokes
And now the bastards are taxing our pokes.
If two quid a head is the price we must pay
It’s now with ourselves we find we must play
To quench our frustrations we must have a wank
And for the state of our Country – we’ve Rishi to thank!
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Head of CPS.
Dicided not to prosecute John Worboys for 75 sex assaults.
Yet spent four years failing to prosecute23 Sun journalists.
Insisted on prosecuting Paul Chambers for making a light-hearted joke on social media (the infamous Twitter joke trial)
Failed to build a case against Jimmy Savile and forced to apologise after being damned by report into failings
Repeatedly championed the innocence of convicted murder who later admitted that he was actually guilty
Failed to prosecute police officer who killed newspaper vendor Ian Tomlinson
Ordered the CPS in Wales to drop the prosecution of a primary school teacher who had been accused of sexting a 16 year old boy, who went on to commit suicide
Damning report into Starmer’s tenure at the CPS showed it was performing well below the necessary standard, with the report attributing part of the blame to a ‘overload of initiatives’ from the CPS’ national leadership
Survey of CPS staff found that just 12% of them thought that the organisation was being well managed under Starmer’s leadership
Accused of reopening a spurious sex abuse case involving a friend of Tom Watson – the accused was cleared in an hour
Chose not to prosecute two doctors accused of carrying out abortions on grounds of gender
Anything else.?????
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Yes: in 2009 Starmer approved the decision not to prosecute the cops over the illegal fatal shooting of Charles de Menezes on the London underground four years earlier. An incompetent operation in which Cressida Strap-On played a central part….
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Don’t forget he was DPP during the MP’s expenses scandal: “nothing to see here, move along, move along…”
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Although he’s a cunt in his own right, Julian Assange.
Starmer is the one who pressured the Swedes to keep the case against Assange open so that he could fast-track the extradition case to the US through, probably at the behest of his Mossad handlers rather than the US directly..
Assange might be a cunt, but he shouldn’t be in Belmarsh.
Speaking of Starmer’s new shiny new New Likud….sorry, Labour..
https://dorseteye.com/former-israeli-army-spy/
A ‘former’ Israeli spy in charge of Labour’s social media…’former’ my arse, there is no such fucking animal as a ‘former spy’…
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A cunt of our times, a well deserved addition to the wall. Fucking piece of garbage.
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I think he’s Owen Jones’s sperm donor.
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His complaints at the Wednesday PMQ, ‘one third of families don’t have enough devices for online learning’ , not surprising when blacks and Asians don’t actually have families they have litters.
‘people can’t afford to self isolate’ , ‘sick pay not high enough’
More money needs spending on top of the money (borrowed) already spent, for fuck sake.
Take the fucking knee, that sums him up, slimy fucking lawyer…. In the style of JR, what do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea… A good start.
I am surprised he didn’t black up to join in with the video of BAME MPs trying to persuade the dumb BAME fuckers to take the vaccine.
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Starmer is the ultimate plastic politician. Or should that be slapstick? Or possibly spas…
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Just one more smarmy labour chancer. Does he and that rough floppy mouthed deputy still want to rejoin the EU?
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Bet that Rayner woman is a right filthy mare.
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Oh yes. Knocked up when she was 15 years old. Currently a grandmother and not long turned 40 years old.
There is no doubt she is a cum bucket whom loves the dolly dagger a bit too much.
Had more pricks than a 2nd hand dart-board.
Probably got a fanny like a wizards sleeve to boot.
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‘Crayons’ is a good girl with self-control (not). Unfortunately she’s thicker than shit – she (almost) makes the divine Flabbott seem sentient.
What a load of fuckwits – no opposition at all!
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Throw the Kneeler off a cliff
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This path of self destruction that Labour has embarked on is fucking hilarious, first of all Corbyn and now this total twat. Just like Sturgeon he’s prepared to take any position that’s opposite to Boris. My 12 year old grand daughter could make the blatantly obvious criticisms of any event that this prick comes out with. Fuckin easy when you’re sat on the sideline watching because you’re to hopeless to get elected. Can you imagine where the UK would be if this shower of goons had been trying to sort Brexit and deal with COVID?
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