Helen Mort

“Deepfake porn images still give me nightmares”. Helen Mort? Poet?? Writer???

“Helen, a poet and writer from Sheffield, was alerted to the deepfake images by an acquaintance.”


Yeah right, an “acquaintance”! How fucking convenient! Still, got you some media attention (even if it is only from the woke, poor wimminz story hungry BBC), which is a bonus because like pretty much everyone else, I’ve never heard of you until now!

Seems Helen wants this to be passed into law as a criminal act and in her particular instance she gets my fucking vote! Having seen her picture I can assure you that I’m going to have nightmares now too and there is absolutely zero chance of me watching deepfake porn of you, or worse, real porn of you come to that…..sh h h h h huder!

Fuck off!

Admin; feel free to use the pic in the link but please issue a apology to unsuspecting cunters!

(Nah – I went with a classic Scarlett Johansson pic because we’re classy here at Admin Mansions – NA)

Nominated by: Coolforcunts

60 thoughts on “Helen Mort

  1. Helen Mort? More like Helen Mortician. In that photo she looks like a cadaver just yanked out of deep freeze – blueish, lifeless skin.

    Deepfake porn with Helen’s features – all OK if you are into necrophilia, I suppose.

    • I don’t know, she’s not that bad, I’d carry my spade to the cemetary. I just might not have a shag left in me after all that digging.

      • I think she’s about a three or four-pinter. Certainly better than that flat-cheated curly-haired ladyboy from last night.

        Alright, perhaps a five-pinter.

      • I spent a lot of time in Korea, Captain. There was another lager you’ll be familiar with called “Hite” which was even more popular than OB.The ubiquitous adverts for this pisspoor brew were obviously a graffitist’s wet dream. All you had to do was add the letter “S”.

        That was a fair few years ago and a long story – I was in Busan meeting “the in-laws”…. A very close shave, as it turned out the girl was a properly crazy bitch with suicidal tendencies (although she was drop-dead gorgeous by any yardstick, and had been an actress and fashion model in the States in her late teens/early twenties). Her dad had topped himself years earlier in his car with the exhaust, and her sister hanged herself with a bra from the shower curtain rail the year we met, when she was backpacking round Turkey, Syria and Iraq to “get over the shock” (as was I – but without the tragic back-story. She had no money, I had loads… the relationship got very serious very fast.) In hindsight, all of the above should have been fair warning.

        Fond memories defacing billboards/hoardings with a large capital letter S throughout the Korean peninsula over a few weeks is all that is left of that little chapter in my life now. Thanks for the reminder, Captain.

  2. Why did someone see fit to deep fake her into a porno? Did her acquaintance call her whilst in mid frapp of did they finish themselves off first?

    People shouldn’t be able to fake your image into a porn movie, especially a remake of animal farm.

  3. I took the liberty of searching cuntnet for the real slim shady (aka Helen Mort).

    Fucking munter of the highest order, she should be pleased someone has dared post post her donkey face on a porn site, least she’s raised her profile cos I wouldn’t even put a paper bag over this and do from behind…

    * never look at the mantelpiece while you stoke the fire my son (quote from my pops)

  4. Christ that’s cracked my phone screen.
    I must see more filth involving this horse faced moaning bitch.

    Welcome to Want Wednesday with The Woke.

    It’s a struggle but I do enjoy a new hobby.

  5. I would like to suggest an entry of Mort-Porn into the Cunter’s dictionary.

    Mort-Porn: Definition; Vile porn considered more sickening than animal porn.

  6. Regarding the nomination picture: Why has a careless person spilt cake icing on a photograph?

    I’ve not read the nomination yet. Is it bout baking?

      • Blimey, LL! I had visions of that Nigela lady on those cooking programmes.

        I wonder if our very own Ruff Tuff Creampuff will get the cream horn.

      • That’s toothpaste Spoons!
        I think it could be the Oral B ( bollocks) brand.

      • Evening Spoons.

        As you may be aware, I am not a fan of wimmin wearing excessive make-up.

        That obviously fake jizz on her visage looks suspiciously like Nestlé’s Condensed Milk to me. As such I would gladly lick it off before giving her a hard hammering.

  7. My apologies for going off-piste but…

    Are you feeling a bit gloomy?
    Go to Duckduckgo.com
    Type “Rachel Levine”
    Click images
    Look at Biden’s new Health secretary.

    You’re welcome.

    • There was nothing magnanimous about that little present.

      Dis mama’s so fat.
      Her favourite TV show is Wheel of Four Chins.

      • Apologies to our own Health Secretary Matt Handjob if I have ever said he was a weird looking cunt. I can’t wait to see the rest of Slow Joes administration, probably like RuPaul Drag Race.

      • The Biden administration, based on tokenism not meritocracy, might look like a children’s TV programme. A mixture of grown-up Bash Street Kids (though not as white), kooky members of Rentaghost, a few of the Addams Family, and all led by Skeletor himself.

      • All jokes aside CM it really is a fucking disgrace 😷

        I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the Russians and the Chinese must be pissing themselves at the state of the progressive great Western world 🤮

        Propaganda to further their cause? They don’t fucking need any, the actual real state of affairs is more than enough!

    • I seconded a nom earlier on (because I got beaten to it 😬) with just those sort of details CM. It’s still on the nom page, take a look.

      • The full steam ahead for government endorsement of woke fuckery continues apace.
        You have to laugh really.

      • You do indeed, Cuntle.

        I haven’t watched the news for such a long time now and have no plans to re-start. I prefer the ‘if I don’t know about it I can’t get upset about it’ approach. Biden can do what he likes. It doesn’t matter. The Demons have no agenda, no plan, no strategy. They’ve spent 4 years trying to derail Tango, instead of trying to advance their own political ideas and agenda. Now they’ve got the keys to the kingdom, I am certain they’ll be found wanting for any clue what to do next now that Tango isn’t around.

        I remember the media outbursts every time George W Bush made some gaff. How many has the new clown made already? Assuming someone woke him up, told him his name and what day it is. Jeez.

  8. Cap Mag:

    “Damn your eyes!”

    “Too late!!!”

    Tranny Rachel Levine-a person who is obviously suffering from a mental illness, is/was head of paediatrics & psychiatric studies at Penn State University.

    You really couldn’t make this shit up😂

  9. Arms well covered in ghastly tattoos I see in google images. That should satisfy anyone who prefers the objects of their desire on the masculine 👨🏻 side.

  10. Johansson may be a Hollyweird woke cunt, enjoys dubious company, and is a Biden, Kilary and Che Kamala worshiping trollop of the highest order. But at least she was a genuine wank magnet in her prime. Still is when she pulls her finger out.

    However, old Red Rum Helen makes my tadger live up to her name: Mort of course being Froggie for dead.

  11. But who the fuck would ever even think about doing a saucy fake – deep or otherwise – of a horse faced fuck like Mort?

    If there is somebody out there who actually does this we have a dangerous and disturbed maniac on the loose.

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