Women Hanging Abaaaaht After Sex

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Women hanging abaaaaht after sex.

Picture the scene I’m knackered after running around earning my I’ll gotten gain and generally being a dodgy cunt and I remember my current Mrs is coming over for dinner and sex. I wanted to cancel but I knew I’d want some sex etc.

I pick her up in the Audi for which she was grateful and we have dinner and chat shite…I shoot my load twice over the evening and start thinking to myself ‘I wish you would fuck off now’…she stays and fucking stays wanting kisses every 5 minutes and is generally ruining my chilled aaaaht evening. We start watching a film and it drags on and on and she is still here around midnight.

I end up dropping her home in shorts and a t-shirt on a cold December night so I can get half an hour to myself before bed. Of course if you all knew what I looked like you would understand her wanting to spend as much time with me as possible but my time is precious and I don’t like people hanging abaaaaht, especially in my flat. I’ll go to hers next time. (Bollocks! You are John Major, and I claim my 5 quid – DA)

Finally a message to all women when a man has shot his load fuck off after an hour…when he has shot his load twice fuck off right away and leave him in peace.
Go fuck yourselves.

Nominated by: Black and White Cunt

70 thoughts on “Women Hanging Abaaaaht After Sex”

    • Getting a bit fed up with her now CG, it always happens and when you’d rather give her one from behind to avoid eye contact it’s a sign you need to find some fresh meat. 👍🏽

      • Tier 4 now mate-it might be Madam Pamela and her five lovely daughters, for Christmas😙

    • Evening HS, she was doing my head in that night…I don’t like visitors to my place especially unannounced visits.

  3. B&WC. I was an atheist and then I read your teachings. I am now your disciple. May you live forever. And may I lick rims forever more.

    • Evening Dark key cunt be careful bruv, when you go down the road of debauchery it’s not easy to come back to normality. 😁

  5. I’ve tried different approaches to women, dating and relationships, there have been many recipients the hot dog meat injection (not as many as have had some B&WC wood) but still more than I’d of thought possible as a horny teen.

    Point is the ones I’ve never had cause to regret are the ones that never turned into anything meaningful. Women are detrimental to health and wealth,

    • ‘Women are detrimental to health and wealth’.
      That should be taught at school SV. 👍🏽

  6. A classic humblebrag, this; intending us to believe that your attentions* are so conducive to female contentment that the dear things cannot escape your magnetic presence**
    Well, good for you, but do not expect us uncritically to swallow theis narrative***

    *Or your stereotypically overdeveloped genitalia.
    **Or your stereotypically overdeveloped genitalia.
    **Or your stereotypically overdeveloped genitalia

    • C’mon RTCP, show some Christian charity in this special time of year. None of us are perfect, we are all rotten sinner’s…me more than most aaaaht there.

      • Besides, as a professed Christian, shouldn’t you be trying to counter your sinful nature instead of wallowing in it?

      • I am confessing my sins on here to help other fellow sinner’s to open up to God. The most high is all seeing and knowing.

      • You’d probably be better suited to Satanism. Nowt wrong with that. Each to his own, “do as thou wilt”, etc.

        Have you tried going for Christian counselling?

  8. on the rare occasions i pleasure mrs Fistula she often says “ is that it then ? “
    You used to be able to pump away all night , now you just want to go to sleep. But darling that was 30 years ago , be thankful i can even rise to the occasion.

  9. Your fucked if you ever settle down BWC!
    Why do you think old fellas dissapear into their sheds for hours?
    But I know what you mean,
    Once the baby gravys poured I want 40 winks.

    ” 3quid on mantlepiece, get yersel a taxi.
    Shut door on yer way out”.

    • 3 fkin quid? These are the kind of classy birds I could only ever dream of – how the other half live!
      After a long time of being damaged by an evil controlling psycho I decided to have rid, best decision of my adult life, and decided single is good.
      However, Miss busty the barmaid is a very attractive gal (looks like Sarah Keith-Lucas and with a rack like a dead heat in a zeppelin race) and for some mad reason seems to rather like me, the fact she owns a pub and Daddy is a multi millionaire is not a factor – I have my own money and place and do not want anything from anyone – she gets this and I rather like her company, I sometimes even let her have an opinion!
      Just send the bird to the shop and change the locks when she’s out B&WC! 😀👍
      On other news I have just been offered insane money for a Breitling watch I repaired but I am very minded to keep it!

      • Exactly what I was thinking VF, MNC only offering 3 paaahnd for a taxi? Is it true northerners are tight with their money? 😁

      • Evening BWC, naw not really tight, some are like Foxy and Fiddler,
        But I love life and throw my money about,
        I say my money but I found one of those Salvation Army buckets!
        Ker ching££!!
        🌲🌲🌲⛄

  10. Cor blimey, call yerself a Laaaaandoner? A swift backhander followed by a “Gertcha” does the trick.
    Ya know wot I mean?

    • She was auditioning for a part time vacancy in my Hammersmith brothel DF.
      I told you her it was an audition for the ‘Girlfriend experience’ but she took it too far and hung abaaaaaht too long.
      She didn’t get the job.

    • B&W, you’re a disgrace. After sex you should be holding her tenderly and discussing what kind of ring you’re going to buy her, which church you want to get married in, how many bridesmaids you’re going to have and how many babies.
      You’re giving us men a bad name.

      • I know Allan, I am rotten to the core. I’ve got OCD though and once I’ve shot my load I want to clean all her contaminated bodily fluids off of me. I think it’s more of a case of me going off her to be honest.
        How are you old chap?

    • Greetings B&W.
      Number of climaxes = 7(back of the net)
      Number of disappointments = 0
      😀 Onwards and upwards!

      • 😁 Evening Bertie, great result. It’s going to be a close season and goal difference could play a part. We’re doing well considering all the injuries. 👍🏽

      • Bah!!!

        By December 27th, Percy Parrot will be Red Devil and will be singing like a regular from the Stretford End👍

  16. Well Done B&W-since my reply, i cooked a light dinner for “er indoors” and after a glass of JD Tennessee Honey (sorry Admin-they are now sponsoring me, I swig so much of it😙) and inspired by your post, I undressed her and administered a Mount Olympus “rumping”.
    She is now in the shower, I am in my study, on here, second large glass on the go, Brothers in Arms on “her” superb vintage hi-fi and all is right in the world.

    Fuck tier 4, sunshine-fuck for England, I say🇬🇧

    • Great goal that one CG. He was a great player Giggs but also a rotten cunt. 😁
      He was banging his brother’s wife for 10byears or something wasn’t he? What a cunt.

  18. I’m actually pretty lucky with Mrs Norman. Over the 40 mark, but still great looking. She’s as anti-woke as I am and she has no time for feminist claptrap or Me Too. Also a big prog and rock fan. She knows more about Pink Floyd than I do.

    But I’m not going to go into detail about sex with my wife. Great though it is.

    • Ditto:

      Met “er indoors” nearly 30 years ago when we “was young”. Her best mate was a bass player in my band.
      We were together briefly, then I went on a “wild oats spree” for years, then we found each other again-it could be made into a fucking film Norm.
      She loves Music, Sex, Drink, Rock n’ Roll BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY:
      me.
      I am a cunt-but have the love of a GOOD women👍

  19. I once went out with a girl called April. She was like Kate Bush and when we went out people sometimes thought it was her. She was a bit posh for me and she was from Bamford (the posh bit of Rochdale). But what she taught a 17 year old lad from Newton Heath about sex, I could write a full volume on. She was only three years older than me (20 at the time), but she was a craftswoman. A true artist and one of the rudest (both in looks and in nature) birds I ever met,

    • As I type this, “she” is dancing like a teenager to the Cure’s “Friday I’m in love”, in a T-shirt and pants, to get my attention😘

      I fear I may be some time.
      😍

    • 25yrs me and my missus,
      Id never cheat, only thing im good at is loyalty 😁
      Shes, gentle, kind, and a much better person than I could ever be, id genuinely die or kill for her,
      She keeps me on the path of good behaviour,
      And im a lucky man.

      Shite taste in music though.

      • Im-Baaaack😥
        Any more demands from “er” and I might not see 2021😙

        Sounds like you, Norm and I have been truly blessed😇

      • I would say so, CG. I see mates and blokes my age who are either still trying to be 25 and attempting to pull birds who are either younger or well out of range. Either that or they’re stuck with someone who makes their life a misery or who hasn’t aged well (or both). Another plus is my Mrs isn’t a nag. I’ve lived with nags and I’ve done my time with harridans and psychotic mother in laws. I’m happy to say I landed on my feet with Mrs N. 11 years and counting….

  20. You’re such an innocent B&W. They’re hanging around because they expect to get paid.
    You daft cunt.

    • What you on abaaaaht Freddie? Everyone knows that prostitute’s require upfront payment. Not that I have ever used one. 😁

  21. Depends how desperate they are. I imagine if they are going with you they are as desperate as they come. But, as you say, you wouldn’t know about that.
    I fancy pork chops for Xmas dinner instead of boring old Turkey. You’ll have to excuse me as i’ve just seen a couple of pigs flying past the window.

  22. Nowadays pulling a bird involves online shit, sending texts and pictures.
    In my day we didn’t have the internet and messenger, if you wanted to show a bird your dick, you put on a raincoat and went down the park like normal people….

  23. As the village elders will tell you:

    Q: What is the difference between a good shit and a good shag?

    A: You are not expected to cuddle the shit for 30 minutes afterwards.

  24. The most attractive woman I have ever met was a Canadian woman when I was in Australia on a Great Barrier Reef Cruise a decade ago. She had a fantastic figure, beautiful face, dark hair. Looked a bit like Jillian Murray
    https://i.pinimg.com/originals/90/fe/9d/90fe9d45bd23298e415da5a8e943a892.jpg

    She was part of a group that I made friends with. I ended up rubbing sun cream into her back and we drank beer and talked for a bit.

    Sadly I didn’t end up giving her one. It would have been the happiest moment of my life I think. I might even have tongued her a-hole.

    • Holy Fuck she is hot, I shagged some South Africian twins once in Vegas and thought i’d hit the motherload. I’d trade in my Top Trump card for that.

      • Sounds like you did better than me at any rate CCtCM.

        As I said, I didn’t get anywhere with her much to my disappointment.

        Definitely would have been punching above my weight.

  26. Women are only good for one thing, and we men know what that is. I’ve finally found somewhere (here) where I can loudly proclaim that I don’t like women as people at all. I hate them. I think I’m perfectly qualified to say that after 2 failed marriages at the age of 41. Let’s be honest about women here : if we couldn’t fuck them, we wouldn’t even bother talking to them, would we?!….

  28. Hello B&WC,

    Sorry to hear of your troubles, but I’ve got some good news for you. The long-awaited ‘Robo Woman’ is now being finalised and will soon go on sale, although only the super-rich (such as your good self) will be able to purchase one. Robo Woman (or RoWo for short) will have all the attributes of a real female except for some notable exceptions. She will not eat, shit, piss, menstruate, age or reproduce – making her the ideal plaything for any man; nor will her hair or nails grow, thus eliminating the need for those tiresome visits to the hairdresser/nail bar. In all other aspects RoWo will be the perfect partner for discerning men; in appearance she will be phenomenally beautiful (buyers may specify whatever model they wish their own RoWo to replicate, plus the colour/length of her hair and all her vital statistics.) She will also have an on/off talk button so you can shut her up at the flick of a switch. She will walk, run, dance and do anything and everything you require of her. All in all, RoWo will answer the needs of men without any of the downsides: she will also go naked in the world, eliminating the need for expensive clothing—another possible conflict area neatly avoided.

    ‘Real’ women (if I many so describe them) will be phased out, ie hunted down and exterminated. (Except for me – I have a special dispensation and will be allowed to live on due to my invaluable help in designing RoWo) so no more children to be born, thus ending the twin problems of over-population and global warming at a stroke. Before you ask, ‘who will do the housework etc?’ no problem. RoWo can be programmed to this function via your phone; as a bonus you can enjoy watching a naked super model cook/clean/whatever in the privacy of your own home.

    Men of lesser wallets than B&WC need not worry, either. Such is the terrible need for a robot woman (as highlighted during the Pandemic) that development has been put into overdrive, with the hope that the price will decrease the more RoWos sold. But you will still, B&WC, be able to purchase exclusive limited edition models unavailable to the general man on the street, and if you wish to purchase a whole stable of the lovely girlies, which the ordinary Joe will not be able to extend to.

    Oh, and of course, to answer your main gripe – you will be able to toss RoWo aside without any recrimination from her the moment you have shot your (considerable) load. Win, win, win!

    Hope this helps (how many shall I put you down for?)
    Kind regards,
    Lady C

    • Lady Chatterley, what a woman you must be to have come up with such an invention. Put me down for 6 and I will send you a nice bonus cheque in recognition of your work. 😁

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