Kent (The County of)


Kent is a Cunt.

Huge stack-ups on the roads leading to the ports, crazy panic buying at the retail parks, dumping ground for dossers and gimmigrants and now Kent brings us a new more virulent version of the dear old virus. Couple of Professor Shitty stats – for whatever they are worth –Covid II is 70% more buggering than Covid I and 61% of reported Covid II cases are in Kent.

NHS Meltdown IV is superwhelming the already crap and overwhelmed hospitals. Just as well the cunt county of Kent is known as The Garden of England. Plenty of poor punters available to be planted six feet under.

Kent, the Memorial Garden of England. Has a nice ring to it.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

32 thoughts on “Kent (The County of)

  1. The new strain was first identified in Brazil last April.

    Brazilians are still allowed to enter the U.K. but we can’t cross tier lines.

    Still think the lockdowns are medically required?

    • Yes, Brazilians are allowed to enter the UK but they are more than likely to be disposed of on the Underground by some Dickhead.

  2. Should there ever be a truly independent inquiry into the Chinky Flu’ heads would roll but the chances of that happening are absolutely nil.

    • Never going to happen. Between the world being practically owned by Chinese money, and the inevitable long winded and costly inquiries that will intend to shield those whose incompetence has not helped will fuel a million conspiracy theories.
      China will escape any form of blame or retribution, or claims for compensation.

  3. Hang on !! I live in kent and this cunting is bang out of order!!!! Sir limply you are out of order!! My county puts up with all the arse end bollocks of Brexit, gimmiegrants, truck drivers pissing and shitting where fruit trees grow, daily we have dooshkas pikeys and all sorts of scum coming through, without kent the uk would grind to a halt, so a bit of respect to the county please….

    • Oh and another thing, kent hospitals are great my mother has leukaemia, and without kent hospitals she would be dead without them..piss truly boiled tonight..evening all

      • I have never been to Kent Sid so unfortunately cannot comment! 😃
        (Part of the terms of my probation!).

      • Ive been to kent Sid.
        If I could make a suggestion,
        You need some hills!!
        But it seemed ok.

    • Hey, that’s diversity and cultural enrichment you’re dissing there…pikeys are all happy fellows ready to get your toe a tappin with a jaunty tune and the so called “dooshkas” are here to fill the pages of your local Vivastreet.

    • Kent is a cunt precisely because of all the little inconveniences that you list sir. I most certainly did not diss the County of Kent. Every respect for the County – me old man was a Man of Kent.
      The image and header “Kent (The County of)” was supplied by Admin. I usually supply me own images but not in this case because now an image link tends to put a post straight into Admin.
      As to the state of the NHS in Kent there are many reports like this. Pleased your mum was sorted out but you might consider donating your boiling piss as hand sanitiser:
      https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8813625/William-Harvey-Hospital-Kent-ordered-make-significant-improvements-Covid-19-rules-fail.html

    • Beautiful county sid. I lived in Sandwich many many years ago, and the county is ( or was ) free of detrimental nations……how sad if all is now not well in the “Garden of England “

      • Greeting from Sandwich Fr,Upp – All is well here. No drive Thru McDonalds , Fried Chicken hard to find and no stabbings by some remarkable coincidence.

    • @Just a Bloke. Used to live in Stonar Close just over the Bridge, and used to Drink at the Admiral Owen. Great days Hope it is till there !

      • I’m in Stonar Gardens ! The Owen was my favorite pub but the landlady died last year and it’s currently closed. We do have a new micro pub between the Fleur and the New Inn.

        We are losing the Red Cow and the Crispin as both landlords have given them up as well.

        I’ll do my bit to keep them open when out of Tier 4 !

    • Lovely place. Stonar were Married Quarters at the time, and I was based at Manston. Small world this.

  4. Apologies cunters but since this was nominated as soon as the V2 hit and it was all headless rabbits the situation has moved on a bit – lorry parks cleared, motorways clearing ect ect. NHS starting to cope (as far as we know) and V2 identified as having come in from South Africa. Kent in lockdown. Now Blighty getting fingered as having been the culprit as V2 identified in France, Denmark, Belgium and mounting and EU entering lockdown.
    Happy Christmas EU.

    • V2 Found in Brazil in April 2020, I strongly suspect that the itinerant bitch Remainer brought it into the country in her mangy minge

  5. I’m happy to claim this variant for Essex. I’d like to send some to our little yellow friends out East. See how you like them apples, you dirty yellow shitbags.

  6. I’m wondering, if it’s Kent that has the highest percentage of cases if it’s related to the ‘dinghy people’ coming over from Calais.

    Ha and they think they can hold back a virus and they can’t even stop baboons crossing 22 miles of water in rubber dinghy’s.

    Get to fuck.

  7. I’m surprised Kent hasnt collapsed into the Dark Ages again given the diversity of foreign cunts it has to endure daily.
    I hope the restoration of order and prosperity springs from the Home Counties.
    After all,there is only so much filth and savagery the English will put up with before knocking it all to fuck.
    I hope so anyway.

  8. Kent has changed since the days of Dingle-Dell and Dickens. Now it’s Dooshka-Dooshkas and druggies. It’s still alright if you’re in the countryside but the fields are being eaten up with thousands of new houses thrown up in months. All the towns on the coastline, north and east, were ruined years ago. The newly-arrived from Africa who were put into London shit-holes like Elephant & Castle have been “re-housed” into Kent, lolling about not knowing how to spend their free money. Up north in the Medway towns and Gravesend, they are infested with Indians and Pakîs; it might have been where Pocahontas landed but there’s a different kind of brown skin there now.

    You’re never too far from a pîkey. Heaps of the rats in swathes of caravans, half human, half animal, toothless hobbledeehoy farm-hands riding knackered quad bikes, unable to communicate.

    By far the worst are the East European skumbuckets. They’ve convinced themselves we owe them something and seem determined to earn as much as possible whilst littering, spitting, stealing, and continually moaning. There are far more drug-dealers now than customers. Poles, Romanians, Albanians, Bulgarians, Slovaks, Lithuanians, Czechs, Croats, and Moldovans, marching about looking like Scottish heroin casualties, gibbering away non-stop in their wretched tongue.

    “Kent, sir — everybody knows Kent — apples, cherries, hops, and women” said Charlie Dickens. He wouldn’t recognise it now.

    • If you were to say this publicly, you would be condemned as a racist, by cunts who would never be able to prove you wrong if they tried, which of course would be the last thing they would do.
      Diversity and all that…

      • Yes perhaps, though the evidence is there. Kent is still a beautiful county but the towns are ruined. Kebab shops, hand car-washes, gangs of tracky-bottomed yobs sitting drinking Pölska lager cans harassing folk while vomiting on afternoon binges all paid for by fake benefit claims. It used to be the cities in Britain that were shit; now it’s the towns. Soon it’ll be the villages too.

  9. Dear Bertie Blunt

    A Christmas Update.

    Things at the homestead have gone from bad to worse.
    After Percy’s nocturnal shenanigans on Christmas Eve, bleary eyed, we awoke late on Christmas morning.
    Percy was lying flat out on his back on top of the floor standing boiler, snoring remarkably loudly for a bird, an empty bottle of 18yr old single malt next to him😢

    My wife, an animal lover, insisted on taking him to the spare room and laying him on a pillow, to “sleep-it-off”.
    Our two beloved pussies, who Percy assaulted on his arrival, had still not returned.
    It was now nearing Midday and thoughts turned to preparing Christmas Dinner.
    This year, we decided on Duck for a change. It was in the fridge in the utility room-or at least it had been. We found it wedged behind the cats climbing tree, looking decidedly limp, puckered and covered in a particularly acrid white sauce. We suspect Percy is responsible!😢
    Unperturbed and inspired by IsAC’s own resident gourmet veggie, Capt, Mag, we decided to go Vegetarian this year-Parsnips, leeks & brussels from our own veg garden, cauliflower, stuffing balls, gravy and white sauce.
    Twenty minutes before the meal was ready, er indoors insisted I awaken our esteemed house guest.
    Armed with an “alka-seltzer” tablet and a glass of water, I entered the spare room.
    Percy was awake:
    “Who the fuck are you!” he shrieked.
    I explained and recounted his exploits of the previous night.
    “Fuck that you cunt-wheres my dinner?”
    I offered him the water et al, to which he cried:
    “Hair of the dog, hair of the dog”
    Within minutes, he was swigging from a bottle of 2o year old Malt, which I was keeping for a special anniversary😢

    “Whats for din….oh, hello darlin! Whats your name then?” he said, flapping a wing as he spotted my fair wife.
    With that, he was on her like a tramp on hot chips- shredding her new Christmas blouse, in his efforts. I managed to remove him with force, whilst she ran, tearfully, to our bedroom.😢
    I carried him, swearing like a docker, to the back door and threw him outside, telling him to return when he “cooled down”.
    “Fuck you, cunt!” he shrilled, as he flew into the Oak tree, straffing my wife’s recently washed and polished car with rancid bird-shrapnel as he passed it😢

    At this point he spotted the resident pigeons, enjoying the remains of his rejected, Christmas selection box of seed. He swooped down and with a cry of “YAAAAAAH Yer Fucka’s” and set about them.
    Within minutes, my front driveway resembled Omaha beach on D-Day. Blood & feathers everywhere. No honour.
    After burying the dead, I ventured inside.
    My wife was emptying the spoiled food into the bin. I noticed a small suitcase by the back door.
    “Are you going somewhere, sweetheart?” I asked.
    “No-but you fucking are. And take that fucking parrot with you.”

    As I type this, I am in my camper van in the grounds, Percy is snoring again, a half empty bottle of Baileys Irish cream next to him.
    I enjoyed a lovely tin of beans on toast for Dinner.😢

    Bertie, I know I promised to take Percy for Christmas, I never mentioned New Year.
    Percy has given me a shopping list of his essentials, some of which are dubious, others illegal, where I live😯.

    Please, will some other “Cunter” take Percy in for Hogmanay. Please.
    For the love of dog………
    😱

    • 😂😂 That gave me a good laugh General.
      He’s quite a character isn’t he? Thank you for allowing him to look after you over Christmas. I’ve changed all the locks since he’s been away so I think he’ll probably head over to a homeless hostel over the New Year. He starts his first job in the new year as a look out on a Border Force gunboat patrolling the Kent coast.

    • Quality! I think he’d be a natural for my pigeon-culling enterprise, but he’s not getting his beak into my single malt. No doubt his piratical forebears would approve of his going to sea.

  10. They reckon that when Danniella Westbrook went for a nasal swab Covid test, they had to use a French stick….

  11. Covid is so this year, which has nearly ended. Anyone who goes into 2021 playing the game is irredeemably moronified.

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