BMW Drivers (2)

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Cunts in BMWs who are too busy holding a cup of coffee to use their indicators on roundabouts.

That is all.

Nominated by: Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler

 

Supported by Spanky Mc Spank 

Second this one with an additional cunting for Aldi, VW and Seat drivers.

You’re just envious because you can’t afford one aren’t you? nope, I just don’t want to look like a benefits cunt or a photocopier salesman.

As Dick says above, that is all.

53 thoughts on “BMW Drivers (2)”

  2. For ethnics arent they?
    Load of levenshulme curry breathers or umbongo types like them.
    Think its a classy ride.
    Audi is a mobility car I think?
    Because everytime I see one the cunt drives like a mit mot.

  3. What’s the difference between a hedgehog and a BMW?
    With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside.
    Oldies but goldies. They’re the best!

  5. Most of the biggest BMW cunts have moved to Audi. Either way they are detestable cunts who need torturing.

    I know some normal people drive Audi’s but if you don’t want to be mistaken for a total arsewipe sell the German cunt mobile.

      • Either way, you are a detestable cunt who needs torturing! 😀
        Happy New Year B&W.

      • Slight change of subject. Apparently, the Scots are replacing the fireworks tonight with a drone show.
        Fan dabba Dozy is going to drone on and on. . . .and on.

  6. What has Aldi done to deserve this? Cheap prices and a car boot sale in the middle aisle.

  7. Add Mercedes drivers to the list. Although I will say my old man drives a BMW and he’s one of the minority of their drivers who isn’t a cunt.

  8. Someone I knew of died (bit of a prick) and left his Vauxhall to his niece as her first car. From then on it was known as dead Dave’s Corpsa.

  10. This cunter’s lockdown (after losing my job of 20 years) was improved no end with the purchase of a nearly new 3 door Golf R in July. Fucking tasty motor, but barely done 700 miles in it since.

    Can’t cunt me, though. I always indicate. Maybe because in 1989 when I got my licence they weren’t giving them away free in cereal packets like they seem to be these days.

    If some cunt is turning right on a roundabout without indicating I ignore them and pull out on them. I’m not fucking telepathic, and relish telling them so.

    Happy New Year for tomorrow, cunters.

  11. Several years ago before we had the ‘big red button’ to nominate cunts, we had to write them on here and I tried to nominate People Who Don’t Use Their Fucking Indicators many, many times without success.

    I’d like to knock some sense into hammerheads who dont use them. I’d like to beat the Christ out of these shitgibbons. If caught on camera not indicating, prison should be dispensed with, electrodes attached to their scrotum, and electrical bolts applied. Let’s see if these cunts repeat offend.

    • Spice it up with two alligator clips, one on the left and the other on the right teste. Alternate the charges to teach them left from right

  12. If you ever glance in the rear view mirror and see some fucking arsehole galloping towards your arse at sub-supersonic speeds, you can almost guarantee the cunt will be driving a BMW…

    …or a Smart Car.

    Both cars designed and built exclusively for the connoisseurs of the cunt world.

  13. Roundabouts were when I got a sense of just how many morons and dickwads there are in this country.

  14. Imagine we had left the EU with no deal and BMWs had copped a 50% import tariff. The outside lanes of motorways would have become gloriously empty😁

  15. Absolute carnage in our high street this morning after two ice cream vans crashed head on.
    The entire area has been coned off….

    • All our local chavs drive Mercs. Generally Polish cunts with dodgy income streams. If they indicate at all, it is generally in the opposite direction as they haven’t figured out which way the switch goes.

  17. German car drivers are cunts, it’s like they inherit the self inflated master race egotism when they get behind the wheel. I’ve been to the German war cemetery at La Cambe in Normandy, and the car park looked like a BMW dealership, with a couple of mercs for good measure. All had kraut number plates, so I imagine they were all down there visiting their grandfathers.
    And, that’s another sign of an arsehole, someone here driving a German car, or one of those shitty VW T5 vans that wannabe surfers have, some will have a U.K. number plate, but it’s styled to look like a German one. Double sad cunt.

    • I know exactly what you mean Gutstick, the owners of these T5 Cuntwagens are mid-life crisis cunts called Brad or Kyle. I’d rather push my Ford transits than be seen dead in a VW.

      • I’ve noticed loads of these plainly commercial panel vans going around with bits of plastic from Ebay stuck on them to look “cool”

        Do these utter cunts driving these actually think they look like the cool old 1960s buses because if they do I have news for you, you look like a double glazing installer with a modern trashy panel van.

    • Top comment japseye, German cars are always over engineered, just wait until you have to get it serviced, or get a part replaced when the warranty runs out, car supermarkets are full of 4 year old German cars

      • The bikes are just as bad. You need to buy special tools to change the fucking oil.
        I’m sticking with Yamaha and Suzuki, fuck Pearl Harbour.😂

    • Ebay plastic bits present and correct?

      Some kind of slogan like ahem “live it” or “max life” stuck on there somewhere?

      Delusions it looks like a 1960s camper van?

      (just kidding)

  18. BMWs is it? My Nephew has a 530 diesel, he has had the pants tuned off it, sounds unnatural, goes like hell – and he drives it like an utter cunt, occasionally when “refreshed” – NOT cool.
    A favourite trick of the pricks round here is to overtake and then turn left when I am riding – then the lights go red, I catch up and it is amusing to see the terror in their faces as I pull up alongside them – “err, I didn’t see yer mate”..
    “Will you see the blow I cuff you round your dumb skull with”?
    A sometimes necessary thing when the laziness or bad driving of some ballast has just nearly killed me.

  20. I can’t let this most worthy nomination go, without mention the utter cockwomble of a BMW driver who, at 8:45 am last Tuesday, while the ungritted roads were literally covered in a thick layer of snow, overtook me and the line of sensible drivers, at about 30mph. Anyone care to guess what happened? Yep, the dipshit of the century lost control and skidded straight into a barrier, thereby causing even MORE delays. Those who drive BMW’s and Mercedes.

  21. If you can’t beat them, join them. I have become a much more cunty driver as I have ‘matured’, and it has made the whole caper a much more relaxing experience.

    I used to get infuriated with tailgaters, lane-hoggers, lane changers, roundabout wankers etc, etc. but eventually saw the light and realised I was never going to change them.

    I now have 2 x big diesel 4x4s – one for Sunday Best and one for dog walking and tip runs – and will probably never bother with another ‘executive motor’.

    Stick to the middle lane, bollocks to indicating. Main beam and fog lights on in case the cunts in front don’t move over.

    Always drift up to the front of any ‘2 into 1’ queue (there’s bound to be some soppy bird that will let you in, or a BMW/Audi driver on his phone that doesn’t notice your flanking attack) and then stick within a hair’s breadth of the vehicle in front to prevent any cheeky cunt doing the same to you.

    Ignore any fucker that gets too close to your back bumper (or tow hook in my case) and throw in a couple of brake light ‘dabs’ now and then to keep the pricks on their toes.

    A special giggle can be had if you are about to pull out of a T-Junction and you see a motorbike zooming towards you from the starboard side. Wait until he is in ‘The Death Zone’ and then let your car jolt forward a couple of feet. Funny as fuck; never fails.

    Calm, unhurried motoring. Both pleasant and rewarding!

    • Love those 2 into 1’s. If I take the LH option at the head of the queue at the lights I can guarantee a German car on the right. Who will then try to out-accelerate my SV1000S…and fail, miserably. I usually give them a metre or so rather than wheelie off the line. They’re half a mile astern by the time I need second gear.

  23. When my father used to drive i never once saw him use indicators.”I know where i`m going” was always his answer when challenged by me. Then again he is a cunt

  24. Would never own a Kraut car now on general principles. And because I have no wish to be mistaken for the sort of person who would drive one
    Volvo estates forever… 😁

  26. Had a VW Passat once. 6 weeks. Spent 4.5 weeks in the garage being repaired. Got it back, still didn’t work. Told the seller to keep it and got my cash back. The Blue Oval for me these days.

    There’s a polish cunt near me, uses his rear wheel drive audi to bump up over a kerb and across a narrow strip of grass to access his parking space, instead of driving to the end of the road and manoeuvring correctly, or moving his white van that invariably blocks his and others access. Now it’s rained a lot recently and his efforts on the grass have left it looking like the Somme and last evening he got well and truly stuck in no mans land, spinning the wheels and getting no grip, serves the cunt right, it’s council owned grass and the cunt shouldn’t be driving over a raised kerb.

    His dooshka hobbled out in her chav wear and slippers to help push him out. I just watched out the window and called him a cunt.

    Still it’s Jan 1st 2021, they can fuck off back to Poland now.

  27. Bollocks to all this over-engineered Kraut shit and their angry drivers.

    And bollocks to anything modern with all those nasty sensors, fly by wire ‘technology’, and unnecessary gadgetry.

    Fords are heaps of junk these days. Especially the transit. Not a patch on the old Mk3’s with the 2.5 Di in them.

    A bit of tin, a bit of board, you’ve got a Ford.

    I’ll stick with my crusty old Montego, until one of us die,- which will probably be in the very near future!

  28. Whilst Audi is fast becoming the preferred method of transport for chavs who need to get from the Tan Parlour to McDonalds , there are till enough turds in BMWs to make sure I will never ever own either fucking brand.

    We all know what the W stands for.

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