These are the highly annoying narrators of BBC’s The Repair Shop.
I know that a number of posters on here respect the skills of the artisans in this afternoon tv show who manage to restore peoples’ worthless pieces of shit into their original condition (worth about 50 p in today’s money) so that they can start crying and saying how much the item meant to Grandad but I find that the programme is ruined by their droning voices?
Not only that, but they both sound the fucking same.
Despite the pair of them having extensive filmographies on IMDb I’m hard pressed to name anything that either of them have been in.
I vaguely remember gurnard-faced jock Paterson being in a film about rival ice-cream vans, and as for sheep-botherer moon-faced Pugh I remember him playing a depraved priest who got someone up the duff in The Lakes.(The delectable Kaye Wragg was in it as well).
Why does the BBC have to pick people like this pair of boring cunts? Silly question.
Nominated by cuntator
Surely by far the worst thing about The Repair Shop is the ghastly fake Jay Blades?
I could write pages about this untalented bottom feeder (“I’ve been a builder, I’ve been a philosophy stoodent)….” now he is just another z list star of daytime TV – he outdoes Arfur Smiff in his blokey demeanour. Fake as a nine bob note, as real as one of Cliff Richard’s girlfriends. I have never got beyond the start of the show so can’t comment on the others involved. Blades ruins Money For Nothing.
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Speaking of which, this cunt was nom’d here not so long ago
http://is-a-cunt.com/2020/09/jay-blades-of-the-repair-shop/
Clearly there’s a job-lot of cunts at this particular Repair Shop!
A rebrand would be more apposite – “The Cunt Shop” perhaps?
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I had forgotten that one Technocunt. Dreadful little man isn’t he?
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Ah but he does do a good line in chairs with one leg painted a different colour!
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Here is some info about the other two Jessies, along with a picture of Arthur Mullard’s touch-of-the-tarbrush son:
https://www.walesonline.co.uk/lifestyle/tv/repair-shop-bbc-narrator-tv-19052417
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Can’t bide the programme…lot of old tat that should be chucked in the bin,mewling old Farts wailing about “Great Aunt Maude”,sexually dubious male restorers,plain as a pikestaff Old Maid female restorers,uppity presenter,cloying mawkish back-stories about the “sentimental value” of the piece of old shite that is getting restored…and voice-over Cunts who are quite rightly too embarrassed to show their faces,
Nail shut the doors of that workshop/barn where the Cunts lurk and put a match to the thatch.
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Instead of “put a match to the thatch” perhaps “chuck a flaming faggot through the window” would be more suitable
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Which faggot though Dick? – I’d suggest either one of the Strictly Come Mincing troupe or Lord Adonis. I’ll supply the Swan Vestas
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Dame Elton…spray him and his ridiculous wig in waste oil and spark the Fucker up….stand back and watch the guinea-pigs flee from his fiery ring quicker than rats abandoning a sinking ship.
“Don’t let the flames go out on me”
7
The only thing that will get me to put the telly on before the waterstones is another 9/11 type of event.
Lap it up, vegetables.
2
Watershed, stupid cunting phone
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Never indulged in this televisual equivalent of a dogshit sandwich, but I have unwavering faith in the views and irreproachable judgement of my fellow cunters and therefore I am 100% on board with this cunting.
I know the types – chirpy wankers with leather tabards. Giving off the air that they have 30+ years experience, man and boy, as time-served craftsman. All confected for the cameras, I daresay. The actual work is likely farmed out to local specialists, when in reality all these chippy little bumfuckers do is stroke the finished product over with a squirt of Mr Sheen and a cotton duster.
Cunts.
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Aye, aye, the word Nazi is back again. My post has gone. The strongest word I used in my post was “cunt” for heavens sake!
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Heil WordPress, Heil Victory.
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I like this programme. Fuck off.
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Same here, I’d give that Sonaz one. Saucy minx.
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Just Googled her picture. Yes, an elfin looking lass. I would happily fill her every orifice if she asked me nicely.
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Says she’s an upholsterer. I’d like to up holster her too!
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I’ve never heard of either of them and never seen the programme. Is that remiss of me? Answers on a scotch egg.
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I wonder if they do a sleb version with Katie Price and see if they can restore her gash to its original condition? That’s one job I reckon they won’t be able to do. Maybe Dame Elton’s ringpiece would be another challenge, or maybe getting Lewis Hamilton to his preferred skin colour, white for wages and black for his soap box. Another would be fixing up Princess Di’s Mercedes.
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I’d pay good money to see Harvey Price let out of his cage on an episode. He’d be like Kong smashing everything up.
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Ooh! You rotters – wait while I send the talented Jay Blades (I make, repair and restore furniture – Mr never used leather apron Blades is a talentless bullshitter and charlatan with the right colour face for BBC) round to paint one of your legs a different colour!
And talking of fiddly jobs, I have just repaired a Breitling Bentley wristwatch – that was pretty complicated and the amount of tiny parts is insane, but now it works and cycles through 24 hours perfectly – I am most proud of myself!
Let’s see bullshit Blades do that instead of painting a chair leg orange and talking shit.
The Repair Shop is good for shading and colouring tips when replacing just part of a piece of furniture but I can’t do with the back story where Granddad carries it through the jungle 60 miles under attack from spears and arrows before handing it over to Tabitha etc and expiring for it to stay in a drawer for 30 years until they realise how much a professionally restored one is worth.
Nearly forgot – defund the fkin BBC!
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Phew!!
Thought you meant Bill Paterson the creator of ‘Calvin & Hobbes’ at first.
The Repair shop?
Never any working class types on it is my only criticism,
Or Northerners.
Be more inclusive!!
3
Bill Paterson was good as the villain Ally Fraser in the second series of Auf Wiedershen Pet. He was a top cunt in that. Last time I saw him though, he was in a very crap Dalek story in Doctor Who in 2010. When those cunts Moffat and Gaytits turned the iconic Skaro terrors into gay multi coloured day-glo dustbins with stupid names.
Fucked if I know who Robert Pugh is though.
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Paterson is built a nothing to that irritating cunt Arffur Smiff doing the voiceover on “Money for Nothing”
Smiff has got the most annoying voice anyway, but it is completely wrong for this programme.
The only way it could be worse would be for Arffuh Smiff to do the commentary for a state funeral.
Oh yes, and he’s also a cunt, but that goes without saying.
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