The “Smart” Phone Generation

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I’m having my daughter to stay with me this week for half term. Don’t see her as often as I’d like as she’s in Southampton and I’m in Bristol.
She’s 13 and is doing fine at school by the sound of it. She always gets good reports and does her homework diligently. So what’s the problem you may ask? The problem is that she knows Jack shit about fuck all!
Now don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t expect her general knowledge to be anywhere near the level of mine but she couldn’t tell you which city the Eiffel tower is in, who the Russian president is or which river runs through London. You know, £100 type questions on Who wants to be a millionaire.
God knows what they teach them at school these days although you’ll be unsurprised to hear that she seems to know all about slavery. I’m trying to keep her amused and busy this week but any spare time she has is spent staring at her smartphone or tablet playing online games with her friends.
Some of you may be familiar with the Einstein quote;
“I fear the day when technology overlaps with our humanity. The world will only have a generation of idiots”
Don’t know how Einstein managed to predict that happening 100 years ago. Apparently he was quite a clever bloke!
One could argue that general knowledge is a waste of time these days as any fact can be found in about 30 seconds flat with the smartphone in your pocket. You could also argue that there is no need to know where the Eiffel tower is. Personally I would argue that that’s bollocks.
These morons are going to be running the country in 20-25 years time. Be scared! Mind you, they probably couldn’t do a much worse job than Boris and his bunch of that’s!

Nominated by: Cupid Stunt

56 thoughts on “The “Smart” Phone Generation”

  1. You can’t beat someone who states they’re in ten out of ten pain, taking selfies and updating their fucking status whilst you’re asssesing them… Or the cunt that’s Googled their symptoms but haven’t got the fucking complaint they’ve Googled and start arguing.

    To coin a phrase, ‘We’re doomed’.

    • You’re wrong mate. They are doomed. Once gen x are history, all links to the past will be history too, and the lessons learned by humans in the previous 2000 years.
      Fuck em.

      • These wankers believe that there wasn’t any history before they were born and, even after they were, if it’s not on social media it never happened.

      • Kids are thick as fuck nowadays. Cunts who actually think fish fingers are made of chicken. Or that football began in the 1990s. Or that a band with bass, drums and guitar is something from the Dark Ages.

        These cunts really do exist.

    • My GP wife calls it “Dr Google”. These are the cunts that Google their symptoms and self-diagnose. “No, Doctor, it can’t be that, I have Googled the symptoms and it clearly states…”

      God give us fucking strength.

      • I thought that whenever trying to get an appointment at the GP and the receptionist asks what it’s in relation to, was to give the doctors time to google it.

  2. My niece sounds like one of these annoying yank cunts off Youtube now as she spends as many hours as on it possible because her feckless, inept parents can’t be arsed to educate or spend time with her due to them scrolling aimlessly on Fecalbook all the time.

    • My niece IS an annoying yank. Thought she knew everything, went off to college at the age of sixteen and immediately got herself pregnant. I don’t keep in touch with any of them. The young are well-known for their immaturity, arrogance and stupidity.

  4. Sirs:

    People staring at their hand computers routinely step into moving traffic, fall into rivers and off cliffs, and experience withdrawal symptoms if for some reason the thing doesn’t work.

    You know what they almost never do? Make a phone call.

    I need one for work. It does come in handy, I admit.

    But when I retire I’m going to shoot it, assuming the U.S. Constitution hasn’t been completely eviscerated by then.

    Which might not be a very good bet. It’s easier to enslave a people whose primary worry is whether or not they can get a good signal on their hand computers.

    • Fear not Connecticut Yankee. Move to Texas. If Biden were to win (he won’t), I think Texas will secede from the US. It’s about fucking time.

      Hand computers is right. That’s why I stayed loyal to my BlackBerry years after their platform wasn’t viable. A BlackBerry device was a ‘phone which could do other things as well. These days fucking Android and spawn of the devil iPhones are, as you say, hand held computers that can do 100s of things, one of which is to make/receive calls. Big difference in emphasis.

      BlackBerry asleep at the wheel while cunt Jobs and Apple ate their lunch is one of the all time greatest business fuck ups. People are so thick and sheep-like. Even Microsoft couldn’t get enough of them interested in a Windows ‘phone. Microsoft FFS!!!

      I hate Apple. When I eventually take over as World President, all Apple products will be destroyed. All social media platforms will be shutdown too.

    • The Millenials and Generation X (whatever the fuck that is) don’t make phone calls now and don’t send emails. Instead they reach out.

      I am just past retirement age but still working a bit, although sufficiently financially secure that I don’t give a fuck. Some of the stuff I do is on the fringes of the fashion industry. It is good fun taking the piss, most of the time they have no idea I am doing so.

  5. I swear I’ll run over the next millennial moron that wanders out in front of my car staring at their phone.
    Natural selection.

  6. Fine nom, Cupid. I feel your pain.
    A few years ago, we laid on a huge Christmas for all the extended family, who had, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New years Eve and New years day at our place (cost me fucking THOUSANDS-scrounging cunts! Thank you Covid-saved me a fortune pal!).
    I cannot remember who suggested trivial pursuit, teams of 3 (x6). My enduring memory is how badly educated the youngsters were: 5 of them educated to Degree or Masters level. How????
    Take away their tech and they are F-U-C-K-E-D.

    Ps: in case you were wondering-of course my fucking team won. 3/3 games.

    • Quite so General.

      I was playing TP with some millennials a couple of years ago. Ok, the version was maybe 10 years old but so what? History and Geography hadn’t changed much in a decade. The youngsters were useless. Even those with degrees. I was wiping the board with them and they got so angry that we had to change to the junior questions to give them a chance. Everything they failed to answer was greeted with “how I am supposed to know that – it happened before I was born”. When I got a question about Henry VIII I assured them it wasn’t because I was around in the 16th century.

      • Ken Bruce on Popmaster today had that from a geography teacher, he was a bit sarky with her, and pointed out that geography was there before she was born.
        I do like the old bugger.

  7. With you on the cunting but surely which city the Eiffel tower is in, who the Russian president is or which river runs through London can be found in seconds on a smartphone

    • so true. My kids always ask me these sort of questions and I always reply that they are the generation with all the information in the world at their finger-tips. I suppose I should be flattered that they still ask me.

  8. This isn’t a new thing mate. Back when I was a sergeant, I was driving over Westminster bridge when the 18 year old gunner I had with me in the Land Rover, actually asked me what river it was. He had no clue that the river that runs through London is called the Thames. I pulled over and kicked the ignorant shit out. He was still standing there, looking bewildered and in uniform when I drove back over the bridge twenty minutes later to pick him up. I still don’t feel bad about it.

    • QDM-fast forward a few years and he would have whipped out a “red card” on you.
      Well done by the way. I hope you made him ride home on the bonet mounted spare.

      • He rode in the back. I wasn’t taking the chance that his stupid was infectious.

  9. Smart phones are undeniably ace though anybody under 25 can’t seem to go long without tinkering on them and when the battery is low they positively sweat like a town park junkie. See gaggles of them sitting in a pub all mesmerised by their machines, only engaging when showing another a six-second video of a cat falling off a fence.

    When the Muzzîes say to each other, “Soon brother, soon”, that moment must be imminent.

  10. Looking forward to the new quiz show “Who wants to be a millennial ”
    Samples of the questions include;
    “Which number comes after 2?”
    “What colour are fire engines”
    “What’s the Queen’s first name?”
    Doubt they’ll be giving away much money.

    • My smartphone isnt so smart.
      It has epilepsy and fuckin downs.
      Ive tried everything with it,
      Screaming at it
      Threatening it
      Bit of domestic abuse
      Still doesn’t fuckin listen!
      I’ll show it the smashed up corpse of its predecessor and itll be joining it shortly if it doesn’t buck its ideas up.
      Get through about 3 phones a year,
      the soft foreign cunts.

    • “Here’s a cheque for £100. But we don’t want to give you that”
      Millennial “What’s a cheque?”
      “Actually we don’t want to give you anything. Now fuck off you moronic cunt”

  11. Is this a personal thing, with you cunts ignoring my posts?

    Who are you referring to exactly? – admin

  12. I think it is going to be worse than you expect. These thick little cunts have been home schooled by alcoholics since Lock down started.

  13. When l was a kid it was too much tv, then a bit later too much computer games. Nowadays it’s phones. I’m writing this on my phone and everytime l lose it, or think l’ve lost it but it’s just in another pocket, my life falls apart.

    Anyway, I’ll get my coat.

  14. My ancient Nokia, pay as you go, makes and receives calls and that’s it. I can text, very slowly, but hardly ever do.
    No camera, apps or any other bollocks.
    I put £10 on it once a year and that’s all I need.

    I’d hate to be a child or young person growing up today, I’d be a cunt just like them.

    • I’ve got something similar called a Simple Phone. It’s a phone. It doesn’t have two cameras, GPS, wifi, an accelerometer or a vibrate function which gives you white hand. It doesn’t have a choice of email programs and web browsers. Same deal. PAYG, tenner a year. Now rather hard to find that kind of SIM, I think. The credit companies like you to use terabytes of useless data to make their business models work.

  15. I passionately despise little cunts who say they are United fans, yet they think everything started with the Premiership and Fergie. They know nothing of the Doc, Big Ron and they only know Sir Matt and George Best by name and ‘marketing’ and not their achievements. The same sort of wankdribbles who say that preening cunt Paul Pogba is as good as Bryan Robson, when they never even saw Robbo play. Some of the millennial turds don’t even know who Eric Cantona is. And absolutely none of them will know who all the players who died at Munich were.

    I also know Man City fans, lifelong blues who hate the post Abu Dhabi money mob. Cunts who don’t know who Colin Bell, Joe Corrigan, Mike Summerbee and Dennis Tueart are. Never mind earlier greats like Ken Barnes or Roy Paul. Cunts who haven’t even been to Maine Road or even knew it existed. I dare say a good few clubs get these millennial cunts (Chelsea in particular) and they are another reason I have given up on the game.

    • I clicked on “The United Stand” on YouTube Norm, some cunt from The Midlands who thinks he is the world greatest authority of football, United in particular
      Clicked on a “United Stand” analysis video: 4x Dark key cocker-knee / Jafaicunts, all “bro” this and “yo” dat😂
      As our own Sir Fiddler would eulogise:
      FUCK OFF

      • I know who you mean, CG. Some odious onion headed cunt who calls himself Mark Goldbridge (or – pretentiously – just ‘Goldbridge’). He is a complete cunt and Mark Goldbridge is not even his real name. He was a Nottingham Forest fan before he ‘chose’ United and to cash in on gullible nu-footie twats. He is despised among hardcore Mancunian reds. I hate the fucker for a start.

      • Not his real name? Probably not even British
        Qualifies him as a Red, on the Glazer/Woodward ideal fan scale😂

  16. Saw a video once of a Chinese girl walking along the footpathed edge of some still water glued to her phone. The path bent and she walked straight.. in and drowned. RIP you daft cunt.

    • They struggle to see bends,
      The permanent squint of the chinky gets them in all sorts of shenanigans.
      If you fought Bruce Lee youd lose, but stand at his side, he cant see you!
      Blind spot!
      You could punch his fuckin lights out!

      Fact.

      • Must be like permanently looking through a fish eye lens. Even Bruce would leg it seeing a fist the size of a space hopper coming at him.

      • Exactly.
        Funnily enough I always think chinese people look a bit like goldfish,
        Should win them at the fair in a plastic bag for hook a duck.

      • Chinky and Jap ladies have tiny fannies too Mis (fact)-which is why they squeal like a Guinea Pig being ragged by a Patterdale, when they get a portion of decent Anglo Saxon cock😉😉😉
        This from personal experience.

        Aaaaaah-so!😂

      • Hook a duck!. Fuck that takes me back.

        Sounds a bit like the nocturnal pursuits of that weather forecaster earlier now however. Spoils everything.

      • I saw Graham Goodman live st a festival Norm, sitting in the sun, sipping real ales and watching him do the “classics”👍

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