The Belper ‘Mooers’

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I saw this bunch of cunts on the tv news this morning, 10th November.
They are a bunch of fuckwits in the Derbyshire town of Belper, who moo loudly from their windows or in the street as a way of relieving the ‘stress’ of lockdown.
Some of these cunts dress up as cows or wear cow masks.

This cuntery was initiated by some ex teacher called Jasper (can’t remember the cunt’s surname) and who looked like a right cunt himself with his stupid long floppy sideburns.

Apparently he did this with his class at school and found that it made them all happy, or some such shit.

Is this sort of cuntery found anywhere else, or is purely a British thing?

Nominated by: mystic maven

(More here – DA https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-52252003 )

79 thoughts on “The Belper ‘Mooers’”

    • Yeah, fucking idiots. They’ll be rolling some cheese down a hill and chasing after it next……….

  3. That article’s from April – is that how long it takes to get a nomination approved around here?

  4. Beats doing a Sammy the seal impression for the TikTok generation.
    We flounder asunder a surfeit of cuntitude.

  5. “A purely British thing?”

    Could be.

    Do they also black-up and prance around waving hankies?

      • Being extremely horny and far from home, I once shagged a warm truck exhaust pipe. Two weeks later my knob green and painful. I was HGV positive.

  6. I don’t know any cow jokes.
    Can these Gay cunts just be gassed to make them quiet?
    Thank you.

  7. I’d like to go in Jaspers garden in the early hours of the morning, marching round damaging plants while bellowing like a demented bovine.
    Then before leaving do a massive pile of steaming shit for him to clean up.
    See if he finds it so soothing then, the stupid cunt.

  8. That cunt in the nom picture wouldn’t get away with acting like an imbecile in a London street. The stupid Cowson.

  9. I reckon these cunts must have mad cow disease.
    Best thing to do is slaughter them.
    Humanely of course.

  10. Jasper….. anyone called Jasper is probably mentally deranged and is definitely a cunt, the bigger cunts are the fuckwits who join in.

    A better way to relieve stress (lol) would be to brick all of Jaspers windows.

    I wonder why he is an ex teacher, the mind boggles.

    Cunt!

    • Bit of a fan of Jasper Carrot. Bloody funny bloke. Saw him live once. Pissed myself laughing. Literally. I should have foreseen my future then………

  11. I have it on good authority that they were practicing for a moosical but got put off when they opened the windows as it was absolutely Friesian..
    Coat on, no need to all shout 🏃‍♂️

  13. I know Belper.
    Quite like it, didnt know they were all mitmots though?
    They need to sort themselves out, only takes one bad apple (Jasper) and your community is a laughing stock.
    Put a bounty on Jaspers head,
    Soon settle down.
    🐮🐮🐮🐄🐄🐄

  14. All this desperate foolishness seems like a precursor to suicide (mooicide).
    We can only hope.

  15. If these cunts want to relieve stress during lockdown then maybe they should visit the hallowed pages of ISAC.
    Personally I find it very cathartic hurling abuse at some richly deserving arsehole.

  16. Of course these days you can’t describe cows as black and white because that would be racist. It would be more like “cows of colour, with a bit of privileged whitey mixed in”

    Or perhaps a better description would be a herd of Markles

    • Jasper should be staked over a beerbarrel in the pub carpark and a prize bull led out to inseminate him,
      Thatll make you moo Jasper with half ton of beef slamming up your kyber.
      Make it a regular thing?
      The Belper Yelper🤑

      • “Are they saying Moo or Moo-ard?”
        “They’re saying moo-ard Jasper.”
        “Are you saying moo or Moo-ard?”
        “Moooooooo!”

  20. I used to have loads of cows in the front garden when I lived in the middle of nowhere – they liked the shade of the big tree when it was hot then the cowman would come in and usher them out.
    They were friendly beasts and I quite liked them visiting.

    • Have to be careful when in calf Foxy!
      (Cows not you)
      They can be testy!
      Every year I read about some old cunt getting trampled.
      They arent keen on dogs either!
      Ask Fiddler, they can be funny fuckers.

      • TT MNC@ – they can indeed be a tad moody when full of calves (stay well away) but it was the fkin bull who was the scary one!

      • Maybe Mr Fiddler with his familiarity with all the sounds of the countryside could judge us in doing animal impressions at the ISAC Christmas Party Miserable? RT first. He’s always up early himself so maybe he could get the ball rolling with a hearty -‘COCKADOODLEDOO!!!!Spoons next doing an innocent sheep – ‘BAA BAA’. Bertie squealing like s pig ‘EEK! EEK!
        Your good self next barking mad like your Akita ‘WOOF! WOOF!’ (Though Mr F might be jealous because he does a good impersonation of a hound I have heard. But he’s the judge) Now for an exotic -‘SSSSSSSSSS!’ sound from Komodo. He won’t be able to get to the party of course because he’s up there in Thundebird 5 dutifully monitoring the migrants crossing but I’m thinking he could maybe send a recording. The good Captain next – the star of the show- with his lickle ickle rabbit sounds- ‘SNIFF! SNIFF! cutely twitching his nose. I would of course do my horse impersonation – ‘NEIGH! NEIGH!’ (its not really an impersonation because I can talk to horses as you know). Now that has reminded me of Willow and I’m all upset again.all

      • Evening Miles!
        Im game, Vernon doing a fox?
        Ever hear them screaming when mating?
        Bloodcurdling!!😀
        I feed a few foxes, badgers too, and also a one eyed horse ive called Odin.
        Im hoping this will be taken into account when the green nazis put me on trial for my diesel van.
        You well Miles?

      • Not bad Miserable. I had my drink Sunday. Was listening to ‘Yes’. They were great. I know of all the prog rockers they were in the the most despised when Punk hit. But I like them. This is one of my favourites-

        https://youtu.be/98-iBpbEbNk

      • They were massive wasnt they?
        Im not personally a fan,
        Like the cover artwork (Roger Dean I think?)
        Although do like other ‘prog rock’, especially Hawkwind.
        What was you drinking Miles?
        Im working my way slowly through Abbots ale at the mo!

      • More topically the Pope has been caught giving a ‘like’ to a ‘scantily clad’ model on instagram. Oh dear, how very embarrassing.

      • COCKADOODLEDOO!!!!

        Evening Miles.

        ‘The Yes Album’ and ‘Close To The Edge’ are ace!

      • Fuck me you woke me up there RT. Love CTTE. But my absolute favourite is Relayer. Especially a section in ‘The Gates of Delerium’ with Patrick Moraz on the keyboard. Rollicking gamboling jazz influenced incredibly changing time signatures…

        Miserable is younger than us. I wonder did you like me go through the trauma of Punk. There was nothing else but Prog Rock in my album collection. Then it hit. I remember my friend having to tell ms that wearing flairs was out.
        I thought it would go on forever. And it suddenly stopped. But not only stopped became despised. And like a good little sheeple I put them all away.
        Now I relish them again when getting drunk.

      • Agree, ‘Relayer’ is a good album, brought them back on track after the over indulgent up-their-arses boreathon that was ‘Tales From Topographic Oceans’.

        Punk was a necessary shock to the system.

  23. Silly bastards should move to India, over there they would be seen as sacred, instead of just downright fucking mental.

  24. I went out with a lass from Belper-she had smashing udders and she “milked” me twice a day 👍

  26. Speciesism!!
    Justice for pigs!
    Equality for sheep!
    Freedom for fucking Frogs! 🐸

    FASCISTS!!

  27. Ahh Belper. The home of Thornton’s chocolates and, if my memory serves, Silkolene lubricants. But never mind that!

    As this thread has clearly been hacked by puerile punning punters, here is my pound of flesh and a last word on the matter.

    Was not “The Moomins” a series of children’s books by a Finnish woman called Tövě Jånssøn (you never know – it might well be a WordPress trigger)? For the attention of Bertie Blunt (his email’s @ cunt), et al, the Moomins were in fact, A FAMILY OF TROLLS.

    Probably best avoided, like Belper itself.

    • Belpers alright TT, just Jasper that spoils it.
      Yes, the moomins were trolls,
      But looked like little aenemic hippos, like the offspring of Boris and Abbott if they put their differences aside.
      You winning?

      • Yes, well enough I suppose, tnx. My sister had those Moomintroll books when she was little. Vague recollections of Peppa Pig like creatures: don’t recall the anæmia, though it was about half a century since seeing the books!

        An appointment with a different orthopaedic surgeon today, to see if I can swing some more time off. The “cost” of this attempt to be a lazy cunt was yet another CT scan – at this rate I’ll be glowing in the fkn dark (a bit too much X-radiation for my taste). Although he admitted the injury is/was pretty horrific, he was not able in all good conscience to sign me off beyond end of next week.

        Basically, I’ve got another week off… but ran the risk of catching a nasty cold; the hospital was swarming with gentlefolk of Oriental extraction and spectacularly impoverished-looking whities. Nasty business – fkn hate hospitals, and now they’re full of bumptious jobsworths as well as the usual NHS shit it is even more onerous. Won’t go private on principle (and don’t need to, thankfully).

        Not that I’m an expert. This is literally about the six or seventh time I’ve needed to go to hospital in 54 years (I was born on the kitchen table)… so I shouldn’t grumble.

  28. Saying on news about ‘are we going to be able to have Christmas this year?’
    Yes.
    We’re going to ignore your bullshit and have a normal Christmas.
    And furthermore ignore all your other restrictions.
    Your lockdown can get fucked
    Your restrictions can get fucked
    Sainsbury’s Christmas advert can get fucked
    Your green Revolution can get fucked.

    Ps ive written to father Christmas and all I want this year is some fur underpants and the still dripping skull of Joe Biden.💀🌲

    • Hmmm. I notice you haven’t included the John Lewis advert. Perhaps you’re really one of us southern poofters in disguise?🤪🤪

  30. There’s some cunt down the road from me who was playing the bagpipes at 8pm on Thursdays during lockdown #1, presumably to mark his hatred of the NHS. Anyone got an alpenhorn?

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