The Great British Bake Off

I request most humbly that The great British Bake Off is cunted ASAP. My reasons for this request are as follows.

Channel 4 was, at its inception a radical, challenging channel and though some of the programs were utter bollocks some were very good, some interesting late night viewing as I’m sure many cunters will remember.

So what is this right on channel showcasing now? You guessed it a program about people baking and making assorted buns and things. All watched over by a selection of slebs whose talents include shagging younger women, carpet munching and attempting to justify their enormous contractual fees.. The future welfare of our planet will not depend on the texture of Shaba itudues fucking rock cake.

This rolling wagon of crap is starting to take up media space better suited to informing us plebs as to the real nature of our reality ie what the fuck is going on? Is it true panic buying of toilet rolls is occurring again. This is of greater importance than Timmy dropped his waffle spear.

I could go on and on and on, deep down we all know this is a typical zombiefication, placate the masses bullshit. How I wish it would fuck off and die.

Nominated by: Black biscuit 

40 thoughts on “The Great British Bake Off

  1. The creeps they have on this show.
    That odious Toksvig dyke, that unfunny cunt who thinks he’s Alice Cooper, George Fucking Dawes.

    It’s more like the Groovy Ghoulies than a baking programme.

    • Knew someone who was runner up in the first series.
      Nice lady, helped her set up her own business making bespoke cakes.
      I dont watch it but like the idea of it,
      I like the idea of british mums and grandmas baking for their family and love homebaked pies, cakes etc.
      Dont think ethnics should be allowed on though,
      Id spew my ring up if I bit into a scone and some raghead had had its fingers in it.

  2. “A baking programme?” And there is the problem. One of the most popular tv shows, watched by millions……a bunch of cunts baking cakes!
    Fucking hell!

    (Actually I used to watch this avidly back when it was on the BBC. All pretty harmless non-woke fun back in the day. But ever since it moved to C4, its slipped down into the gutter quicker than Jess Phillip’s underwear in the backrooms of the House of Commons – DA)

    • Exactly FTF, they should make a programme abaaaaaht me…
      ‘Aaaaht and abaaaaaht with Black and White Cunt’.

      A proper programme for all

      • ” they should make a programme abaaaaaht me”…….and I’m sure that when they bring back Crimewatch they will.

        Good Afternoon,B+WC.

      • Yeh ok i was wondering what direction this nom was going /it was bad enough when they kept digging up mary berrys rotting festering corpse to parade around on it im sure there should be a fucking law against bothering the dead /and as for the show itself ive had more interesting shits

      • Knowing what you get up to, it would have to be on after the watershed. Possibly on an encrypted channel.

        Probably more suitable would be a cross between a Donal MacIntyre and Louis Theroux style documentary.
        Although I’ll wager you’d prefer Stacey “Eliza Doolittle” Dooley.

  3. This show epitomises the camp triviality of modern TV. To be honest I have always thought Channel 4 is a shower of shit. Does anyone remember their very early programme “With The Women”?. It must have given Dame Jenni her inspiration, with butch, dungaree wearing bulldykes and scruffy American feminist acdemics mithering on about the patriarchy. That is all of 38 years ago, and the old hags must look terrible by now (they looked bad enough back then).

    Bake Off must attract poofters and gender fluid wankers , like a shit to a dog turd. I dare say it is the same demographic as the nancies who watch lesbian lady boxers dancing on Saturday nights, to be judged by flamboyant shirtlifters.

  4. I flicked on to it the other night…the contestants seem to be a mix of ethnics and shirt-lifters…apart from some gargantuan blonde female who would probably be more at home in a circus tent than a baking tent. I had high hopes that something might spook her and she would run amok trumpeting loudly and flapping her ears while tusking the Fruities and the Sooties…no such luck…she seemed distracted by the Judges…some old biddy,a Prince Andrew wannabee,a weird looking probable necrophiliac and some fat,bald fudge-packer.
    Hopefully it’ll be “Baking with Unckle Terry and his oven” week soon…although Unckle Terry may need to consider batch-baking if he hopes to get some crackling off that fat blond sow….no fucking way she’ll fit in whole.

  5. Everyone knows Men are the real Chefs and Baking is for women and gay’s.
    This programme really is a pile of cunt…
    Muslim woman baker- yes
    Muslim Man baker- yes
    Gay presenter- yes (Matt Lucas)
    Unfunny ‘Comedian’ – yes (that Goth cunt)
    Old bag to replace Mary ‘old bag’ Berry – yes (that old bag in the picture.
    The icing on the cake… Paul Hollywood (fat cunt with too much money and some young gold digging slaaaag on his arm.)
    Put them all in an industrial food processor, mix with eggs and flour and put in Uncle Terry’s oven.
    Go fuck yourselves.

    • There is even a one legged fucker, a unidexter as the great Peter Cook would call the cunt.

  6. Mixed reviews for me in that I can’t stand that freak Noel Fielding and the walking boiled egg Matt Lucy’s but it does inspire Lady Fontlacunt to bake me some lovely biscuits.

  7. I refuse to believe anyone watches this shite. Even Lady Creampuff draws the line there.

  8. The mention of this Bake Off shit brings back painful memories.
    Saturday morning TV was Tiswas, with the delicious Sally James.
    Then ATV became Central, and Tiswas was replaced with ‘Number 73’.
    With that Toksvig tuppence flicker as ‘Ethel’.

    Going from my Sally fix to that?!!
    I was devastated.

    • Good old Sally!

      She was very welcome to have my teenage “custard pie” splattered all over that lovely chest of hers!

      And didn’t she and Chris Tarrant do some adult-version of Tiswas called “OTT” on a late Friday or Saturday nights back in the 80s? It was shite, and probably only lasted one or two series.

  9. I would like to offer my latest reality show to Channel 4 based on another BBC original – Keir Starmer’s Lavatory Apprentice: a group of the Dame’s greatest arselickers compete for the chance to become Keir’s personal toilet slave and be awarded the title – The Keeper Of the Stool.

    Jess Phillips, Emily Thornberry and Dawn Butler on the girls team take on the boys: Lloyd Russell-Moyle, Wes Streeting and Ben Bradshaw, together with a pile of novice crawlers. Several rounds including Manipulate The Commode, The Emergency Round where Keir overdoes the caviar and fine wines and pebbledashes the bathroom, and the final round, who licks the seat cleanest.

    Who will win the golden lavatory seat and which loser will gain the booby prize – a bog brush with alapecia?. The judges will be Lord Adonis and Peter Mandelson and the compere will be Eddie Izzard (provided it is not in December when the will be playing Dame in pantomime). It is a Golden Fart production, which, as you know, is an off-shore company owned by Anthony Blair. The show is sponsored by Andrex and the show will be directed and produced by one of their Labrador puppies, – and Alistair Campbell, if they can sober hum up

  10. I’ve never known anyone to fall so desperately and tenderly in love as Paul Hollywood when he fell head over heels for Paul Hollywood.

  11. This nom is so right.

    The radical, right-on, ground-breaking C4 is now reduced to broadcasting… baking shows.

    They probably think because it is stuffed full with gays and dykes that it is still somehow leading edge. It is not.

    Low-brow mainstream trite rubbish just like C4 is now.

  12. It was a C4 program that confirmed my mates level of deafness.
    The night before I’d watched a weird show about couples living a sexless life.
    I said, “Did you see that programme last night about celibacy?”
    He said, “Is that the Welsh spade that sung Diamonds are Forever?”….

  13. They must have searched the tips and scraped the shit barrels to find a replacement for the terminally unfunny, physically repulsive, rug munching Sue Perkins. And luckily they found Noel fucking Fielding.

  14. The Great British Freak Show would be more apt.
    Pooftahs, bean munchers, and a creepy goth cunt of ‘questionable’ sexuality.
    In the words of Terry-Thomas “an absolute shower!”

  15. An outright rainbow of degenerates making cakes.
    I’m sure it’s unwatchable shite.
    I heartily recommend baking all involved in the oven at gas mark Fuck Off and Die.

  16. I think gas mark 4 would be better for Toksvig.
    I’d like to see her slow roasted like the lump of brisket that she is.

  17. Wish someone would sneak into that marquee overnight and jizz in the cake mix… Any volunteers??

    • Eh why not go one better snd get some volunteers to shit in the cake mix^mite liven em sll up running around throwing up and if that coffin dodger mary berry was still on there and she d ingested shitcake mite finish the old cunt off there&then on the spot thatd boost the ratings

  18. For people who are denigrating the programme you all appear to be remarkably well-informed. The title and a couple of presenters and that’s exhausted my knowledge of it.

  19. I can’t stand that disgusting deformed Danish dw@rf dyke.
    The thought of what the vile cunt does in bed makes me feel ill.

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