North Korea

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This is the country that recently shot dead a South Korean who crossed the border and then burned his body as a precaution against coronavirus.

The nutcase with the way-out hairdo who runs the place, Kim Jung On, then had the nerve to tell a rally marking the 75th anniversary of the founding of the Communist Party, that he was grateful not a single North Korean had tested positive for the disease.

Well I suppose that´s one way to stop the virus dead in its tracks. No quarantine or self isolation. A few bullets and a gallon or two of paraffin

Guess who sent the Ruth Davidson lookalike a congratulatory message? Yes, our old pal Chinese President Xi Jinping, inventor of the virus, who said he intended to “defend, consolidate and develop” ties with North Korea.

Nominated by: Mr Polly

33 thoughts on “North Korea”

  1. Eureka!!! Shut all the borders and actually patrol them, be hostile to the rest of the world, kill anyone who enters your space, kill anyone who is virus positive, rule with fear and have a deterent for being a criminal. I could carry on…. I think we could learn from the Fat despot.

    • Agree. Shouldn’t that be the same policy for cunts in a dinghy? As long as the cunt keeps it in his own country Korean bbq can continue. Bet the next cunt thinking about going has changed their mind. The cunt with the weird hairdo at number 10 should take note of the policy.

  3. Kim Jong-Un: Kolea is peaceful and grorius nation!
    Korean Guard: Yes, your holiness.
    Kim Jong-Un: How many peepur in Kolea have Colonabirus?
    Korean Guard: Lemme check. Ah, zelo.
    (A man groans and sneezes.)
    Oh wait. (Gun shot). Still zelo.
    Kim Jong-Un: Excerrent. Now bling me some flied Golden Letriever for blekfast.

  4. Good luck with bat flu in NK.
    It seems the carriers get roasted.
    At least they have the decency to shoot them first.
    Kim sent a letter of apology to the South.
    All Hail the Supreme Leader!

  5. A ridiculous Leader with a daft haircut who introduces new laws on a whim and is happy to see his people condemned to poverty ?….and that Kim Jong On isn’t much better.

      • I have a question for you, Dick. My Swiss banker called and said someone claiming to be Rishi Sunak had made contact and was demanding access to my numbered account, saying he had a billion pounds and a Nando’s voucher. He said the caller was clearly inebriated and had a strong Northumbrian accent. The sole of discretion and tact, the Swiss banker said he was shocked by the caller’s foul language; the mildest statement the so-called Rishi made was calling him a ‘chocolate-eating Nazi bastard.’

        I wondered if you could throw any light on these extraordinary events.

      • I’m rather afraid that I can,Mike.

        It all started after a very convivial evening that The Hounds and I had enjoyed in our “man-cave”..a spare wine-cellar done out to look like Munich bierkeller circa 1920..we rather overdid it on the Jagermeister,I’m afraid. We got to ruminating on those Swizz bankers and their refusal to release our legacy from Uncle Reinhard..I’m not bothered about a few old paintings but the gold I could use…this set us off thinking about the real Sooty-in-the-woodpile..The Red Sea Pedestrians. We rather egged each other on to the point that we decided to pay The Goldfarbs in the village a little visit…off we staggered to fire up our transport.an old grey Fregie tractor that we amusingly call “The Auschwitz Express” . I meant to paint it all up but got no further than daubing a few swastikas on the side and tying a Death’s head flag to the rollbar…Off we set..8 track tape deck blasting out “Horst Wessel” at full volume ( think “Ride of the Valkakyries”,Apocalypse Now)…me in my full hunting regalia,monocle clamped tight,biroed-on duelling scars and muttonchop whiskers..all topped off with my Sunday-best 15 inch top-hat…we were magnificent. Into the village we trundled,pausing only to stop at Mr and Mrs Um’Tebbo’s semi to shout abuse through the letterbox and puncture their paddling-pool (for their own safety), we finally arrived at The Goldfarb’s..up their (probably illegally settled) lawn the hounds and I advanced..only to be confronted by a pack of shadowy figures with ringlets,hooky noses and skull-caps who emerged from the bushes…before I could say ” Jebus Christ” the Fuckers had swarmed us..syphoned the diesel,pried off the brightwork,stolen the wheels and picked my pocket or two…all while rubbing their grasping,bony hands together..extraordinary !…We retreated to lick our wounds and regroup,but it was all too late..we were defeated by enemy not of this World (my latest theory is that Jews and The Lizard People are one and the same).

        Anyhow,to cut a long story short we retired to our bunker and rang that fucking Swiss Rothschild-type to give him a piece of our mind…sorry for the confusion.

  6. North Korea, great country, so long haired “student types” tell me all the time on their marches, I think it may be just the paradise for “dighnies of peace” too, they are so left wing and tolerant, yah mwah duckie dahhhhllling!!!

    Utter cunts, with many more new toys than they had a few years ago!!!!!

    • Kims got the right idea.
      He locked his borders down, common sense.
      I don’t see the North Koreans as human anyway, none of my business.
      If the squareheaded dog eating little yellow fuckers all kill each other its no loss.

  8. Those arseholes in the Welsh Assembly are starting to turn into a North Korean tribute act. They can fuck right off, the jumped up worthless cunts. Only a cunt thinks the world needs more politicians.

    • Glorious Supreme Leader Mark Drakeford thinks he’s Prime Minister of a dynamic nation but he is the equivalent of an assistant manager of a medium-sized Lidl.

      • This Drakeford still has a way to go before he catches the grim ‘leadership’ in Nottingham. The council tax is one of the highest in the U.K., the council lost £40m in Robin Hood Energy and there is a council owned semi demolished shopping centre where the money has run out to continue the destruction let alone the rebuild.
        The previous leader was an ex social worker whilst the current one worked in a primary school.

    • Morning Gutstick.
      My Family are all from Wales, went their in the early 80’s, Stayed in the valley’s Boyo. A lot of people dwelling there but only 2 families and a lot of well cared for Sheep.

      • There’s plenty of dull cunts here, firstly to vote for it’s own parliament, secondly, to fill it with troughing labour cunts. Drakeford and his band of commie cunts are doing a fantastic job in ruining the country.

  10. Not a single North Korean tested positive? Kim tested them all has he?

    It must be true. After all, you don’t achieve a 100% approval rating by not making the welfare of your citizens a top priority.

  11. On the basis that North Korea shoots anyone who enters the country at the moment, can we send Corbyn, Flabbott and Thornbury on a fact finding mission?

  12. I have been dreaming of what I would do if I were Kim Jong-Un for a day, with no comebacks, like the original: I’d put novachek in Jess Phillips knickers, in Ed Miliband’s bacon sandwiches, in Lord Adonis’ handbag, in Anal-ease’s suppositories and in Kweer Charmers moisturiser. If there was any left over I’d put it in Dominic Grieve’s Sterident. What a lovely day I would have

  13. Kim’s paranoid but you’ve got to admire it as he’s got a unique way of doing things. I’m just glad he lives on the other side of the world!

    Sets fire to a border swimmer. Troublesome wayward family member….. gets him novichocked by two birds in an airport terminal. Another relative machine-gunned to death in front of the military top brass. Fuck you’ve got to admire the no nonsense approach. We should hire him to deal with the EU for us.

    I do believe his grandfather still holds the record at Pyongyang Golf Course; something like 25-under par containing 5 holes in one. Kim will surely break it one day.

    Keep an eye on the sister fellow-ISACs. She’d be pretty hot after a western style makeover. I sometimes find myself imagining her on The Hamster.

    • On a par with China’s probably. But, as neither country gives a fuck for the odd few million dead, we will never know.

  15. North Korea shoots cunts entering the country illegally, we give them benefits and houses.

    I find it difficult to cunt them for that.

  18. How is North Korea handling Covid the questions asks?

    Very fucking well by the looks of it.

    Maybe we can learn a thing or two from ol’ Rocket Man Kim and get ourselves some flame throwers and machine guns set up and ready for the next boat load of wannabe architecture and medical students to alight in a beech somewhere in Kent.

  19. North Korea?
    America under a Biden administration.
    But shooting foreign invaders – that gets a big YES from the Fox.
    Rebel Wilson gets diplomatic immunity as I wish to interfere with her in a distinctly ungentlemanly way!
    I am a beast.

  20. If it wasn’t for the economic devastation , lunatic policies and oppression, I actually think the fat cunt is quite a good leader. But enough about Boris Johnson……

  21. North Korea’s a tenfold more democratic that this shithole at this point. Plus Kim is relenting on his despotism, crying to the populace and whatnot. We know that he and Trump are on amicable terms, but it doesn’t suit the narrative to say so. Yes he continues flaunting his willy-waver missiles, but you can’t un-condition a mind-controlled country all at once. You have to be subtle, and offer reassurance and biscuits.

    “We are at war with North Korea, we have always been at war with North Korea…. I am authorised to say that this action will bring the war within measurable distance of its end. Doubleplusgood.”

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