Malta’s Sharks

Malta deserves a nomination, just for sheer pettiness.

David Attenborough recently made it known that he’d given Prince George a fossilised shark tooth that he’d found on a beach in Malta back in the 1960’s.

What was Malta’s response? “WE WANT THAT SHARK TOOTH, IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM”!

Fuck you say? It’s a tooth from a creature that died several MILLION years ago, that was found by some English bloke fifty years ago. He must have mentioned it before now, so why are you making an issue of it now? And surely your museum has at least half a dozen of the fucking things. Y

ou don’t need it, you wretched pedants. Are you still butt hurt that the UK dared to leave the EU? Because I remember the threats your piss ant island made in the run up to the referendum.

One of my maternal uncles was stationed on Malta during the siege in 1942, an action for which the people of the island were collectively awarded the George Cross, due to the heavy fighting. It’s sad to see that the Maltese government have become such a pedantic bunch of petty minded cunts.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw 

(Seems that Malta has now backed down, but they’re still cunts – DA https://news.sky.com/story/malta-backs-down-on-demand-that-shark-tooth-given-to-prince-george-by-david-attenborough-is-returned-12085257)

35 thoughts on “Malta’s Sharks

    • I would thought Prince soyboy would be happy with Grandads County to play in without needing a despicable old fossil bringing him a sharks tooth!
      And he needs a bow and arrows – a proper toy!

      • Such s social climber he is. He hangs about them for a while looking for an opportunity to insert himself. Then he befriends the younger ones with gifts lkke this Then he moves carefully to elder members of the family. Always whispering about them he is-bringing discord.
        His whole strategy is to get to the top.
        If I was one of those gorillas I’d fucking give him a slap.

      • Have some respect! The cunt’s just been awarded a SECOND knighthood! He will hereon be known as David “two knighthoods” Attenbore.

      • Bacl when the bbc did programming worthehile was slways a source of interest to observe crocs in the wild biting a zebras head off il say that for him

      • He’s a filthy old voyeur too…can’t wait to lurk in bushes filming some poor beast shagging…probably wanting to inveigle hid way into the Royal family so that he can get video of Phil the Greek back-scuttling Her Majesty The Queen before either one of the old Cunts croak.

        The disrespectful Oaf.

        (Funny you should mention “lurking in the Bushes”, Fiddler. We’ve got a nom lined up for early next week covering that very subject! – DA)

      • @Admin

        Is it about Miserable Northern Cunt ?…. Good,I’ve long had my suspicions about his “foibles”.

        (MNC’s foibles are much like Pandora’s Box. Best left closed and hidden away for the sake of all humanity – DA)

  1. Tell Malta there are storage fees to pay.
    And I am sure there is more than one sharks tooth in all of Malta!
    No more biplanes for them the next time they are invaded – but I am sure they can find some more fossils to fight with 😀

  2. You can have it back so long as you agree to take the other two as well, as a bonus I will personally return the tooth and shove it up the arse of the first Maltese cunt I clap eyes on. Fuck you and fuck the EU.

  3. My electric toothbrush is not charging properly so this morning I had to use my acoustic one….

  4. Me and a mate went on holiday to Malta in 1982. He was nearly arrested for not wearing a shirt while queuing up to cash some travellers cheques in a bank there. “Shirt on back!” snapped a polisman, menacingly gripping a baton.

    • This semi nude all male holiday was broken up by the law?😀😀
      Afternoon Ruff

      • Smart-arse!

        We weren’t so affluent in those days, Miserable. We couldn’t afford to take our women with us. 😁

        Good evening.

  5. Question:
    How do you make a Maltese cross?
    Refuse to return a holiday souvenir.

    What do you call a lap dancer in Malta?
    A Malteezer.
    I’ll get me coat ……..

    • Cant trust em.
      Maltesers.
      Part greasy spics.
      We’ll if a Englishman wants to take fish dentistry off your beaches you should just be glad we dont take the whole shark.
      Pipe down manuel or youll feel a bayonet in your belly.

    • He’s an embarrassment that Attenborough, gaining permission to enter other countries on the pretext of making documentaries and then filling his pockets with their valuable fossils. Just so that he can ingratiate himself with royalty, the sycophantic fawning bastard.
      Give them their fossils back you robbing cunt.

  6. Tell the little shitbags they can have it if they pay for it otherwise close their tinpot pie-holes. What the fuck has Malta ever offered the World apart from felching the Reich or being a stop-over for future terrorîsts/rapîsts//drug dealer scûm, a sort of motorway services in the Mediterranean. It’s almost as bad as the Greeks whining about our Elgin’s statues. Look at the state of their roofless temples. You can have a free post card of them when you learn how to build properly, you bloated, indolent squid-eating homôs.

  7. Fine, take your gay Sharks tooth back Malta.
    In fact have Attenborough aswell for giving all these climate change Bell-ends silly ideas about the Polar bears becoming extinct and shit.

    You can now cough up for all the Spitfires, Hurricanes, Lee Enfield’s, Gladiator Bi-Planes and the millions of rounds of ammunition and Kilo-Tons of fuel we kindly gave you to defend your island from Herr Hitler and arch-wop Mussolini during the last big punch up.

    Dicks………..

  8. Attenborough can fuck off under any and all circumstances.
    However it should be said the Maltese government is riddled with vermin.
    A nosy journalist over there was murdered by car bomb after uncovering some of their shitty activities.
    Fuck Them.

    • I used to go there once a year, The Maltese Times was an interesting read re the Corruption in high places all linked to property deals and selling passports for cash, the economy was driven hot with all sorts of dodgy cash coming in to fund a building boom and all sorts of Government officials getting kick backs to waive it all through with no questions asked. Its very very murky indeed and the Journalist got too close for comfort for some of them, but there is a big backlash now.

  9. I’ve never been to Malta and have absolutely no desire to change that , I couldn’t Give a flying fuck that Attenborough Pilfered a fishes tooth and gave it Prince George before I was even born , same goes for those fucking marbles too, however the thought of Attenborough doing some Maltese porridge would be somewhat appealing……

  10. I went to Malta a couple of years ago. It was ok, loved looking at the WW2 stuff, the old airbases, the tunnels and stuff. Eating out was a cunt though, service is really poor, and they couldn’t give a fuck. And they drive like maniacs, like you’d expect an Itie/Arab crossie would.
    And they are corrupt as fuck, a week after coming home they blew up that woman journalist. And it’s where dodgy Ruskies go to buy a European passport. The cunts.

    • Was that the Journalist that was doing the story on the Panama Papers?
      No skulduggery there at all…
      Sheer coincidence that she should meet a gruesome end eh?

  11. Mybe we should demand that Malta dismantle all of those railway bridges, trains, aeroplanes, computers and all other variety of innovations that have been created by Brits over the centuries prior to the existence of the beloved EU. Cultural appropriation and all that.

  12. The average shark produces and sheds several jawfuls of teeth during its lifetime. The preservation potential of a shark tooth is high. There would be no shortage of fangs on Malta. The Maltese government is as corrupt as fuck and probably relented on payment of an undisclosed sum.

    Incidentally, Sky had this headline: Prince George thrilled with dinosaur-era gift from Sir David Attenborough

    Anyone else spot the schoolboy error? Clue: the shark died in the Miocene.

    • Silurian/pleicostene /mezoic /pre cambrian yes was aware actually the list at top is just an example theres quite a few clever cunts on here dont worry according to some the above periods of history never occured/suppressed/re drafted etc but we all do our bit /

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