Shower Bottles

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A limp wristed cunting for the bastards who design toiletry bottles.
I don’t wear glasses in the bath or the shower. Who the fuck does? But when I get in I have a bewildering number of bottles to choose from.

Mrs Cuntbubble’s, obviously. I have washed my hair in body lotion, oil, conditioner and fuck knows what else because you cant read the fucking product description on the fucking bottles.

Has it never occurred to these utter cunts that not everyfucker that washes their hair is 20 years old with 20/20 vision?

So I usually use soap, not shampoo. Which reduces the sales of the products these stupid cunts are entrusted with making more appealing.

What a collection of wankers.

The cunts.

Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble 

34 thoughts on “Shower Bottles”

    • Different World MNC! Indoor showers, toilets, electricity, horseless carriages, girls driving and having an opinion of their own.
      This clearly will not do – I am putting quill to parchment as we speak penning a sternly written tome to Pitt the Younger!

      • I do indeed Ruff!
        When you could innocently mock people with partial vision!
        Couldnt do that nowadays,
        Dennis the ADHD
        Minnie the emotional issues minx
        Even the bash street kids have filed historic abuse charges against the teacher!😠

      • They have the electricity and fuck knows what else in Cwmscwt now. Indoor showers are just the start.

      • We’re having a whip round for a labrador for you.
        Although some right misers on here!

  2. A few years ago I noticed my girlfriend of the time had about 10 bottles of various shite cluttering up the shower but they all had just a little bit left in the bottom. So I decided to empty them all into one bottle and bin the 9 empties. To say that there was hell to pay would be an understatement.

    • Yep, I have shower gel and that’s about it. My ex (may badgers bite her fanny!) had about 10 bottles of some shite or other – WTF? – but touch any at your peril!

      • Shower gel, medicated shampoo, both of which are replaced when empty and a scourer/sponge-y thing which gets replaced when it starts dropping bits into the bath. Can you still buy the bottles that had a hook so you could hang them upside down?

      • Evening Moggie, I have seen shower gel bottles with a hook
        shape on the end. Supermarkets and chemists sell them.

      • I haven’t looked in ages, I just use whatever my wife buys me, not fussy myself.

  4. I certainly notice if I pick up my bottle of T-Gel by mistake. My God it works but it stinks like a coal face. Eczema is a cunt by the way, fucking annoying when it flares up on my head. My pillow looks like a flapjack in the morning.

    • Different coloured bottles for each thing – a Fox business initiative! 👍😁
      (I must get rich to crush my enemies!)

    • Swap with my psoriasis. Pillow looks like the north pole. If I scratch my head in my sleep, looks like a slaughtered seal on an icefloe.

      • Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6.

        Put 250g “jumbo porridge oats”, 125g butter, 125g light brown sugar and 2-3 tbsp golden syrup in a food processor and pulse until mixed, but be careful not to overmix otherwise the “oats” may lose their texture.

        Lightly grease a 20x20cm baking tin with butter and spoon in the mixture. Press into the corners with the back of a spoon so the mixture is flat and score into 12 squares.

        Bake for around 15 minutes until golden brown.

  5. I’m a tight cunt when it comes to shit like that. I buy a large bottle of bubble bath from Wilkos at 99 p, then fill up my shower gel bottle, and hand soap dispenser. No one ever notices, mind you, I do live alone, because I’m a right cunt.

    • Sheep liniment CS.
      Solves all.
      One purchase.
      Each member of the house, missus M, little miss M, the akita get a spoonful each a week, to wash, treat mange, or general hygiene.
      Although I have a bottle of Timotei hidden for my beard care.

  6. I use Head ‘n’ Shoulders on my hair and my shower gel of choice is obviously, ‘Knees and Toes’….

    • Interesting, JR, but what do you use for your eyes and ears and mouth and nose?

  7. Load of poofs on here.
    I never use soap (washing-up liquid if my hands are really dirty), simply let the shower rinse away the sweat.
    Anti-dandruff shampoo once a week.

  8. My friend used to swear by Wash n’ Go.
    Now he’s completely bald.

    I suppose he washed…..and it went.

  9. Excellent nomination, CC.

    I use a 2 in 1 shampoo for dandruff hair, and a shower gel for the other body parts.

    I saw this, it made me laugh.

    https://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/shampoo.htm

    I notice when in the shop I see lots and lots of different variations of the same product particularly shampoo. Surely they must all do the same thing.

    The same with tubes of toothpaste.

    P.s does anyone rember that bubble bath with the sailor on and the lid like a hat?

    • The number of fuckin’ different types of toothpaste on the market are ridiculous. I just use the one recommended by BAME containing authentic soot – Aquasoot
      PS nice gesture Spoons towards TITS. Let’s hope it’s not long before he rejoins us.

      • Evening Bertie. Yes it blows my mind about the different shampoos and toothpaste.
        I swear I saw one that had the word charcoal written on the toothpaste.

        Coal tar shampoo as well. I think that’s been around for years, mind.

        Cheers, Bertie. Positive energy for TiTS. Dog bless him.

  10. Have you considered taking your toupee off before you go for a shower?

  11. What are you supposed to do if you’re using a shampoo meant for dry hair and you’ve already got your hair wet..?

  12. “Not tonight, love. I’m washing my hair”.
    You take all night to wash your hair? It’s understandable if you’re Rapunzel.

    • Spoons what are your views on the Spork?
      Do you see it as an abomination?
      Or is it a people pleaser, trying to be everything to everyone?

      You’re a decent fella by the way, for being concerned for Two in the Stink.

      • *Politician mode* “That’s a good question. I’m glad you asked.” Haha. 😀

        I feel the inventors of the spork have good intentions.
        It is nice idea, to me, but like most things are a matter of opinion.
        I would prefer to use a separate spoon and fork, mind you.
        What say you, Harold? 🙂

        Cheers by the way. I hope TiTS is ok.

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