I Hate Summer

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That’s right summer the cunt…

My least favourite season due to all the cunts (of all shades) appearing and hanging abaaaaht making nuisances of themselves.

In parks, on the roads (caravan cunts), aaaaht side pubs, in their garden stinking the street out with their shitty BBQ…yeah they all appear and are in general annoying cunts, more so now with all the furlough cunts swelling the numbers.

Then you have the flies and other insects who like the above mentioned cunts decide to make an appearance and generally piss everyone off.

Used to have loads of nice birds abaaaaht the place in skimpy wears..but nowadays most women are fat, miserable looking cunts who should hide their flab.

Then when you’ve got work to on a hot day like today it’s a drain and a chore. Although I like a nice hot holiday when I have nothing to do but get pissed etc, I hate summer in the UK…it can go fuck itself.

Roll on winter…I hope it’s -3 most days and pissed down that’ll get the annoying cunts back indoors.

Go fuck yourselves.

Nominated by: Black and White Cunt

86 thoughts on “I Hate Summer”

  1. I hate summer too.
    Sticky, humid, no breeze,
    Stupid cunts swanning around in bright neon clothes, flies,
    Bread that goes off and is moldy within 48hrs.
    Halloweens real name is samhain meaning ‘death of summer’ can see why our ancestors celebrated it.
    Im glad when its dead too.
    Bring on the snow storms!!😁😁👏

    • Stop being a cunt! summer rules winter sucks. Not seen a winter here in Blighty for 5 years. Fuck all that rain slush oh and snow..Looks fine on a postcard shitty brown mush in reality. Winter equals wet damp dark cold. A bit like being dead.Enjoy the summer and if others are annoying fuckers then play the I can being annoying too game and try to piss them off also ..

  2. Summer this year has been a cunt, I work outside and don’t mind hot weather up to a point. As B&WC mentioned in the nom its people, kids in the garden getting in my way when they would have been at school or on holiday. Seeing fat lazy sunburnt wankers packed onto beaches on a weekday morning in June curtesy of Rishi Sunak, illegal block parties and trashing beauty spots, the pandemic and the cuntish attitude of people a been a perfect storm this year.

  3. Summer also brings out the Sunday Morning Action Man. Poor Freddie is trying to sleep off last night’s skinful but Action Man is up with the larks and he’s got THINGS TO DO!!
    Oh yes, let’s get that noisy mower out and cut the grass for the sixth time this month. Then the strimmer followed by the electric hedge clipper. When he’s done that then it’s out with the power saw to aimlessly cut up lengths of wood. That’s followed by an hour of randomly banging nails into the said fucking wood. What a bunch of fucking CUNTS!
    Did you know that in Germany it is illegal to use power tools on a Sunday? It’s not often i’ve got a good word to say about Fritz but they’ve definitely got that one right.

    • I try to be considerate to the locals so I don’t use any power tools before 8am during the week and Saturday and on Sunday I wait till 10am.

      • Considerate? 10am? That’s the middle of the fucking night! You should get your power saw out, build yourself a crucifix and I will fucking nail you to it!

      • I am being considerate. There’s a school being built behind our house and those bastards sometimes start at fucking 7am during the week. Also, I live round the corner from a shopping centre so by 10am on Sunday the traffic is jumping and it’s not exactly quiet.

      • Building a school? You know who’ll be going to that school don’t you? Alan’s Snackbar!
        I’d move now if I were you. Get the fuck out of there!

      • It’s not a new school, it’s being rebuilt and it’s a Catholic school so most of the pupils are white.

    • Silly cow who lives behind me had a party a week ago, fucking woke me up at 2.30am, women screaming and shouting (what is it with women, noisy cunts).

      I gave her payback, 8am I was out with the lawnmower, ran it twice as long as usual…. 30 minutes must have given her hangover a nice wake up call

      Cunt!

      • Sicky@
        Ive had this off the mong next door.
        Drilling my friend!!
        7.30am up the ladder drilling into the brickwork near her bedroom window.
        I can be a cunt with the best of them.

  4. Nothing the matter with Summer….it’s people who spoil it.
    I actually hoped that the “lockdown” thing would be extended over the summer months. Keep the wankers at home.

    • Ive wore shorts this year,
      Don’t normally wear shorts, look a cunt, pale white lanky legs!
      But working in temperature like 30 other week😞
      Wear them military type with lots of pockets like I’m auditioning for it aint alf hot mum.
      Summers a bitch

      • Shorts ! Well good for you Miserable…there’s not many grown men who can wear shorts without looking ridiculous…I’m sure you carried the look off with your usual panache.
        LOL.

      • Your right Herr Fidler, it’s rare it’s hot enough in Britain for shorts, if I see any cunt deliver supplies to me in shorts I think cunt!, and don’t start me off on shirtless cunts, I don’t think it’s ever been hot enough for that, saw a fat cunt dig a whole on the beach once to put his guts in, put me right off my brandy and coke the cunt did!

      • You should have given the fat Cunt a good sjamboking…teach him some manners. I always carry a dressage whip to deal with any fat Cunts who offend my sensibilities….as you can probably imagine even something as mundane as walking through Tesco’s can take me fucking hours.

      • Oh yeah!
        I looked a right little dazzler, like a sex offender abroad!😁

      • No,no,Miserable,I can’t accept that. I’m sure you cut quite the dashing figure…rather like Grizzly Adams enjoying a night out at The Blue Oyster Club I imagine.
        🙂 .

      • Yer right there,DCI,
        The older I get the more I find my dislike of most people growing….their slovenliness,ill-manners,lazy,entitled attitude just irritates the fuck out of me.

  6. I love summer too. It is winter I can’t abide. I spend autumn dreading the fucking cold wet days, the clocks going back, arseholes with their trick and treat shit as if they were Yanks, then all the christmas advertising bollocks, the even more shit TV shows, the “climax” of Strictly Come Mincing which Mrs B watches, all the wankers prancing about like Lord Adonis on the cooking sherry, Then all the new year Auld Lang Syne shit, I want to hibernate till spring and the clocks going forward again. I hate winter almosr as much as I hate Hilary Nancy-Benn.

  7. No sympathy for youse on this one, try spending a summer in the Satanic clinker cluster that is Adelaide. No wonder you fuckers nuked it.

      • As the lady at my local bottle shop says when I purchase ‘boxo port™’, it’s cheaper than firewood.

  8. Come to think of it this years *Festive season* will be interesting. How will the British wankers cope with a socially distanced Xmas, not being allowed to get in a scrim on Black Friday, little Jemima and Tarquin not allowed to sit on Santas knee, and if allowed to see him at all, through a perspex screen. The pantomimes are all off – even the Starmer one – his production of Poof in Boots starring Lloyd Russell-Moyle, Angela Eagle and Peter Mandelson as fairy godmother is off.

    I hate to say it, but I can see riots coming, innit – the focus will not be so much on Oxford Street, but on ethnic places like Brixton with midnight ramraids on Currys and Argos.

      • Hmmmm. Not sure about Brixton. The old macaroons don’t like the cold weather, besides which nearly all the shops are shuttered up at night. (Yeah, they’ve been there before)
        More likely to be the Booshka Booshka down the West End or some unsuspecting city centre like Ipswich or Lincoln. I can imagine peacefuls kicking off across urban Yorkshire and Lancashire as well. 🇬🇧

      • Someone on ISAC threatened to shoot his cat, so he’s holed up in his allotment shed awaiting armageddon.

        Word of warning Cuntstable: he’s fully tooled up.

  9. I don’t mind summer- long hot days stretching into the late evenings; colourful gardens, lower electric and gas bills; plenty of exercise possibilities, and most decent folk just enjoying life.

    But I am aware that wanky Autumn & shitbag Winter are just down the road ready to pounce with their cold dark fingers of doom and fucking gloom! Clocks go back in October: Halloween and cuntish kids trick or treating; bonfire night and the same cuntish kids throwing fireworks all over the fucking shop days before and days afterwards.

    Then there’s all the bollocks about buying Christmas presents for cunts, and what to do about family gatherings and all that shite. Plus all those smug presenters on TV recording all their shite Christmas & New Year shows in August, so that they can fuck off to the Caribbean while you freeze your bollocks off on NYE!

    Give me summer any day of the week!

  10. Bet muslim women suffer in summer under all those black rags they wear?
    Must stink more than usual?
    They cant put on miniskirts or bikinis because their brothers will honour kill them!
    They should wear lycra bodysuits like superheroes!
    breathable, dont show any skin, and bit more cheerful going mosque as Spider-Man?
    But can get traditional all black, just look like jaque Cousteau without the flippers.
    Surprised they’ve not already thought of it.

    • I wonder where all the woke libtard wimminz are when it comes to supporting a letterbox’s right to choose whatever she wants?

      Silence is deafening of course, because they know what the repercussions will be if they go demonstrating in the streets: a) they’ll be accused of racism, and b) they’ll be targeted by irate/hostile Mudslime menfolk!

      Such is the hypocrisy of all things Woke!

    • Doesn’t the good book of lies prevent the mudslime female from ‘showing form’ hence why they wear tents so that no shape is discernable to the viewer?
      I may be wrong but it could explain why we don’t see them in head to toe Lycra!

  11. This summer has brought out an unfeasible number of stunning bitches showing out in their skimpy outfits, several of them clearly on heat – my binoculars have rarely worked harder!

    Also the heating bills plummet, so what’s not to like?

  12. More daylight hours and sunlight hours automatically makes summer better than winter. Makes this shitshow less depressing. Nothing worse than going to work in the dark and coming home in the dark.

    Everything is green and alive, and there’s ample outdoors time to be enjoyed. Fuck winter with a festive rubber dick!

  13. Absolutely bang on B&WC. Hot, humid, flies and ants invading your home… remind me again why people like this season?

  14. Can’t really support this one. I love the warm weather and lighter evenings.

    It’s pissing down and blowing a gale where I am currently, and that’s likely how it’s going to be for the next 7 months.

    I wouldn’t mind the winter if it were crisp bright and cold but they ain’t, Round here they are damp dank and blowing with mud, shit, mushy leaves and crap everywhere. oh and floods cause idle bastards don’t clear the drains and watercourses anymore.

    • Always on the weather forecast a place called Lerwick in Scotland has low temperatures!
      Can be cracking the flags here, Lerwick?
      Get your big coat out.
      It sounds like paradise on earth to me,
      Id like to spend summer watching the Northern Lights!
      So thats settled summer is gay as fuck
      Any dissent is by communists or homosexuals.

  15. It’s traditional.

    Out come the pale legs of Britain.
    Socks and sandals, a knotted handkerchief on the head, a 99 with a flake (that nowadays cost more than 99p).

    #I love to go a-wandering
    Along the mountain track
    And as I go, I love to sing
    My knapsack on my back

    Val-deri, val-dera
    Val-deri, val-dera
    Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
    Ha
    Val-dera
    My knapsack on my back#

  16. The ugly sisters (Angela Rayner & Jess Phillips) will be fucked this Christmas (not literally, obviously) if the panto season succumbs to the Chinky bat flu….

  17. The best part of summer is seeing the fit crumpet in skimpy attire.
    After a miserable wet dank dark winter, can’t wait for Tit Monday, the first warm day when you can see attractive women’s flesh again.
    All rather ruined by COVID this year, things got so bad, I was even starting to ogle at the missus again.
    Having said that don’t like it much above 25-27C. The recent spell in the mid 30’s was too much.

    • It was a right cunt that hot spell the other day FM,
      No breeze and cunts adding to the stress of it all.
      I hope summer is over.

  18. Some interesting views on summer cunters… I love Autumn and winter.
    Quality ladies wearing knee boots and trenchcoatswith their hats on, makes you wonder what’s underneath. Then there is me strutting abaaaaaht in my Hugo Boss trenchcoat, leather shoes and flat cap getting the ladies cold pussies moist. 😂
    Heat = germs and bacteria and in general dirty shite polluted cuntishness, I remember when I went to Goa in India, after 10 says I was craving the cool fresh air of England, same in Jamaica. Heat makes you sweat and makes everything a cunt…talking of cunts it also makes the Mrs pussy all sweaty and nasty.
    When you add this all up and factor in the hordes of trashy shitcunts lapping it up summer is a cunt.
    Next summer I’m going on holiday…to Norway.
    Go fuck yourselves.

    • You do have a point B&WC. The warmer weather may make you randier, but when you finally pull of their knickers and are greeted by a sweaty minge that’s smelling like Grimsby, it rather ruins it.

      Springs my favourite time. If it was 18-20C all year round, I’d be happy.

      • Yes that’s probably my next favourite. Usually a pleasant temperature by mid day but a nice fresh morning.

        It’s the endless greyness that we sometimes get that’s the most depressing. Can handle the cold if it’s crisp and the sun shows itself.

  19. I shall be looking forward to Winter with vested interest, not least to see even more howling & screaming from the woke/BLM mob as they try to deconstruct everything about that particular season, beginning with:-

    banning the word snow (because its white, and therefore racist)
    banning Christmas (because its racist)
    banning Christmas Dinners (because its animal cruelty)
    banning old songs and films about winter (because they’re all racist)
    banning presents (because poverty matters)
    banning Father Christmas (because he’s a white, sexist, misogynist burglar)

    So much for summer up here in Cumbria – it’s pissing down,and blowing a fucking gale again. No doubt St Greta of Icebergs won’t be happy about that either!

  20. Another bonus of autumn is that my naturally tanned skin blends in with the leaves and trees in the parks and fields which enables me to disguise… Until I see a fit lady dog walker and jump aaaaht knob in hand.
    They are surprised at first and seem to run away…they love it really.
    Go fuck yourselves.

    • B&W, you’re not the famous “Knobman of Notting Hill” by any chance?
      And there was me assuming it was a peaceful. Put a towel round your bonce this year you dozy cunt. 👳🏽‍♂️

      • That’s one of my disguises FTF…and you’ve told the world.
        Thanks a bunch… I’ll have to go into hiding.

  21. It’s not summer I hate, it’s people. Just heard on the radio that the southbound ( ie Cornwall bound ) M5 is jammed all the way from Bristol to fucking Bridgwater.
    Cunts.

    • Was on the M5 yesterday and it was full of cars and simply cannot handle the sheer volume of cunts in the road.
      The motorway’s are due a cunting.

      • Motorways jammed…cause, too many people
        NHS unable to cope…cause, too many people
        Trains packed like sardines…cause, too many people
        Housing crisis…cause, too many people
        Etc etc etc

      • Should cunt the head of highways england who just stepped down after the smart motorways bullshit.

        Civil servant, on £500k a year. Fucking outrageous given the abysmal state of our road network.

  22. Moaning cunts. Summer in the U.K. only lasts a couple of days at best, before it’s back to the fucking monsoon season. Then it’s ten months of cold, wet, dark, miserable existence.
    Also, this coming winter, if you believe all the shit about Covid, will be the last for thousands of people as chinkyflu loves those conditions, and it’s summer responsible for keeping the infection rate down.

  23. Agree that summer was great for watching the fit birds in skimpy clothing. Fucking great.

    But as some have noted, most women and young ladies are fat cunts nowadays.

    If I ever get to be supreme leader of blighty, one of my first jobs would be to ban skimpy clothing for the ladies for size 14 up.

    In fact, they’d need to be checked out if they’re a 12 to make sure they’re not biffas.

    Nothing worse than seeing a cellulite ridden seventeen stone biffa bird in a boob tube and shorts.

    • Fat birds in thin, skin tight leggings are a fucking horror. They completely lack the imagination or the self respect to consider what they look like from behind. Those that round the whole nightmare off with a visible arse crack sweat patch are the ultimate turn off.

  24. True enough, B&WC.
    The hotter the weather, the more great british riff raff there is. The hordes of shite that infested Bournemouth during the lockdown being one recent instance. Of course there’s the other cunts. Barbecue cunts stinking the street out. Cunts with uncontrollable kids who scream like the devil. And hordes of ugly fat lobster skinned tattooed slags who wear next to fuck all and cause mass vomiting.

    Give me a 70s or 80s summer any day. Women – real women – and not tattooed, false eyelashes and fake nails orange sprayed gluebags. Sitting on the sea front with my cornet and eyeing up and endless supply of birds. I recall 1984 in Falmouth was a classic.

  25. Total agreement with this nom, the UK summer gets more of a cunt with each passing year. We get one hot day and suddenly it’s the hottest day on record – until the next hot day. Of course it’s all bollocks and made up to fit in with the St. Greata Thunderpants narrative.

    • Nowt better than being the only person for miles stood on the peaks in the pennines the wind driving snow into your face!
      Makes you know your alive!!
      Lets have a proper winter, 4ft snowdrifts chains on tyres, wolves picking off the elderly and ethnics losing fingers and toes to frostbite.
      Merry Christmas!! 🎄

      • Ethnics yes peacefuls certainly, some of the miserable old biddies I deliver to yes. Personally I would kick the wolves up their arses with a size 13 steel toe capped trainer.

  26. I don’t mind summer itself, just hate baking hot weather, already cunted by my good self last year. Up to about 70 degrees and no humidity is just about right though.
    I hate the hordes of morons and scum who come crawling out from the woodwork as soon as the sun comes out. Loud cunts with loud cars and loud so-called music all day every day. Plus the mounds of litter these cunts leave behind when they fuck off back home. All my other gripes have been adequately covered by other cunters.

  27. Those cunts in the press who see weather as front page news are also cunts. Last week it was about a 30 degree ‘scorcher’ that never came. This week it was for 80 mph winds that never came. I don’t know who is more retarded. The cunts that write this shizer or the cunts that buy it. The same sort of mongs that look out when it snows and squeal ‘Ooooh! It’s snowing!’ like smartied up six year olds. It’s Britain for fuck’s sake. We do get shit weather, you know.

  28. Summer is a nuisance. Yesterday a local smack dealer, presumably suffering with heatstroke, decided to start waving a knife at me and making some silly threats involving my life – I assume he was feeling tough because he had a couple of young chums with him.
    I reported his naughtiness to the local comedy pigs, then had the added irritation of waking up at daft o’clock this morning from my bed where I was asleep after going to bed early and not leaving the house to see some people being loaded into an ambulance and this chaps motor by the side of the road trashed with blood adorning it!
    The Police believe some ruffian had at these smack rats with a bat and gave them a painful whacking – so I will be vigilant – there appears to be a maniac on the loose!
    It is not known if said feckless felon was wearing shorts or enjoying summer – but by all accounts the three victims (get this for a mad coincidence – it was the same three scamps who had been rude to me earlier!) have been advised by the coppers to leave the area “with all possible haste”.
    I do not know the identity of “the masked vigilante” – I spent most of the evening and early hours reading my book “the history of ballroom dancing” before retiring to bed with a schooner of Croft Original but I salute them! 😁👍

    • I love a story with a happy ending, as they don’t come around that often. That’s the problem with these scallywags, they upset so many people with their thoughtless behaviour there will be a colossal list of suspects, and it would have been purely coincidental that you ‘had dealings’ with them earlier.

      • That’s pretty much what the coppers said! “Pointless investigating, no evidence, haven’t got the funds or manpower etc”, but weirdly they were trying not to laugh when they told me – utter contempt for the victims of crime, as the esteemed Sr Fiddler would say “It’s a fucking disgrace”!
        If I hear of anything I will of course let the coppers know – we can’t have things like this happening on my quiet suburban street – there’s a bleeding nutcase out there duffing up thieves and smack dealers!
        Have to go now – my normal dark and brutal mood has been replaced by one where I can’t help pissing myself laughing! 🤣🤣

    • Fancy that eh?
      You were very lucky not to of been around when this was happening wasnt you?
      This maniacal Babe Ruth type could of gotten you blamed!
      Oh well, theyll be ok in a few month.

      • I am just watch a bunch of other scratters remove their dirty chav junk from the house, they seem to be moving – and they are ever so quiet and polite! Bless them – they are so lovely I could just go over and hug them, seem shy though – keep running indoors and locking the front door whenever I walk by!
        🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

      • Vern – have you never fancied becoming a Local Magistrate so you could dispense justice on a daily basis?
        I know you’ve always been against vigilantes taking matters into their own hands!
        👍🏼😅

      • I feel my benevolent and caring nature would prevent me dispensing the justice these naughty youngsters deserve Bertie! And I cannot see the local Police catching the elusive local “Batman” any time soon, nobody seems to witness a thing and the coppers have been “less than vigorous” in catching this feckless felon as there are less and less thieves and smack/crack/ice dealers in the area – cutting down greatly on their workload!
        Now, where’s my CD of Buddhist peace chants..

  29. And those bastard fruit lfies.
    A saucer of vinegar with a drop of fairy liquid and a bit of sugar.
    The little cunts can’t resist it, and it drowns the little bastards.

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