Tourist Invasion

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A cunting please for the hordes of holidaymakers and day trippers that have infested the small piece of heaven that I call home.

Since 4th July and the opening of the caravan parks and public park plus all the tea rooms a veritable invasion has taken place. Cars parked everywhere, motor homes blocking the roads, cyclists in their fucking hundreds there’s more aimlessly wandering about than this time last year for fucks sake. They are all observing social distancing my arse they are carrying on as if everything is fine.

Where I live has managed to avoid a mass outbreak of bat lurgy because the residents followed the rules and no point in visiting cos no cafes or tea rooms open. I await the arrival of the bat lurgy with trepidation And a fucking horrible curse on those that have endangered our lives for a few quid. I mean it’s not like someone knocks on my door a week before Christmas with a wodge of cash saying here’s you cut from the seasons earnings.

Nominated by: Black biscuit 

31 thoughts on “Tourist Invasion”

  1. Good nom Biscuit. Just spent the weekend in Snowdonia, which used to be a favourite climbing haunt of mine. The problem I see is the staycationers (who don’t respect the countryside) or the nouveau fitness freaks who have all the gear (the VW van with bikes) and no idea. No real climbers these days – nobody on Milestone Buttress. Probably too far from the carpark or no cuntphone signal. I couldn’t wait to get the fuck home.

  2. It’s all the Benidorm, Costa crowd, and general town/city wankers giving you a taste of what it’s like not to live in an idiotic little piece of heaven 😁

    They are a Bunch of cunts but the problem, as I see it, how does anyone know what other people are doing, oh it’s a nice day why no go to X, but if everyone else thinks the same it’s a fucking disaster, just go to your local park or a walk close by, if it’s crowded you haven’t wasted 3 hours driving somewhere.

    The Brits are cunts when it comes to common sense, it’s like pubs, they are crowded as fuck but people still want to go in.

    Fucking idiots.

  3. Tourism is a double-edged sword up here in the Lake District. Lots of businesses round these parts are dependent on them, and obviously the last few months have been really hard for all concerned.

    That said, now that we’ve entered the New Normal, the tourists are here in great numbers, cluttering up the narrow roads and side-streets with their Chelsea Tractors, caravans, canoes and fuck knows what else!

    Not only that but they just don’t respect the countryside they profess to love; leaving the place with piles of litter, plastic bottles, beer cans, dog shite and fast food cartons.

    Oh, and the local sea and mountain rescue teams have seen a dramatic rise in call-outs since the beginning of July due to gormless cunts not taking suitable precautions, and lacking any sense of self-awareness when they walk up Scafell Pike in only their t-shirts, jeans and trainers.

  4. Ooh look it’s a bank holiday weekend, let’s hook up the caravan and go and sit on the southbound M5 for seven hours. Actually I’ve got a good idea, let’s not do that. Dunno what the attraction is with Cornwall anyway, full of inbred carrot crunchers in my experience.

  5. Same thing happening anywhere in striking distance of metro New York City. Hordes of idiots who never go in the woods getting lost. Morons playing on 60-foot waterfalls, and looking surprised as they plummet.

    Emergency services in these towns are almost entirely made up of volunteers. It’s not as if there’s a professional rescue squad sitting around the fire house waiting for a call to respond to.

    Never mind the garbage.

    You’re also not supposed to notice that a sizable percentage of these merrymakers are of the Latino persuasion. I guess that means it is traditional for Latinos to throw trash everywhere, including poopy diapers.

    I’m as civic-minded as the next guy, but fuck if I’m picking up poopy diapers without a Haz-Mat suit and the large, recession-proof federal salary that comes with it.

  6. Top cunting this one. I too live in a tourist destination with a lovely beach and I’m getting fed up with these cunts. Can’t get a parking space down there now, too many cunts about. they also post it on social media which in turn attracts more cunts.

  7. Good Nom Black Biscuit

    I cant stand tourists,

    I dont make my self one to then go an complain about the rest of them, so i just dont go t places i know the cunts will be.

    Some are worse than others.

    Backpackers are ultimate.

    Especially the snowflakes that twat “Dont eat food in ramblas at barca its just too touristy” so they go onto so poor sods vblock who are trying to fuck the soy late drinkers off in the first place, to claim to “live like a local” I dont undestand what it is about cunts that make them feel they need to do that.

    Cunts in Caravans calling themselves Grey Nomads are also cunts.

    I am all for people hating tourists they are cunts.

    And speaking of the cornish, or cunts that live there ….

    The only thing worse than tourists, are cunts who are dependent on their revenue, be it a B and B or a rip off pasty shop that serves and charges double for something that tastes like someone has taken a dump in, to then complain about all the out of towners (emmets as those cunts call them) or foreigners are crowding their space.

    Or outsiders pricing them out of their own region when its they who sold it out in the first place.

    The short sighted cunts would be the first at the food bank if every cunt went somewhere else and left them to Rick Stien and Tin Mines the cunts.

    These cunts need to be careful what they wish for.

  8. “Viruses, Richard! Cancers! The big, chunky charlie’s eating up the whole world! Down on the beach! Down on the street! Pay them in dollars and fuck their daughters! It starts with 4, Richard! 4, but they multiply! They multiply! It’s time to stop them! Year zero, kiddo!” – Daffy

  9. What a fucking laugh-the boutique villages and towns are mostly populated by wealthy incomers who have driven the prices out of reach of the locals, then they have the fucking temerity to whinge about non-local tourists?
    Fucking hypocritical cunts👎👎👎

  10. Very fucking good nom. I have spent many a month trying to find somewhere in Britain that is secluded where I can take my own life and yet not a single place have I fucking found.

    I live in England on the border of Mid/North Wales and tried Snowdonia back in mid March before the fake crisis of the Voldermoort Flu began. I also tried Scotland the day before the lockdown began.

    I more recently tried Scotland again – specifically the most secluded beach in Scotland (allegedly) and I found it filled with, not only English Tourists, but millennial, Hipster Tourists (or as I like to call them……. cunts).

    English Tourists are a fucking plague and should just do what I did………. go to a place to fucking die. Cunts.

    Steady on old boy. We enjoy your contributions and would like you to stick around to enjoy the fun with the rest of us – admin

    • Don’t top yourself.

      Imagine all the cunts who would go uncunted if you weren’t around.

      This site is a public information service and you’re part of it. Like it or not.

    • You don’t want to do that,TITS….I’d never do it just because I’d hate to think of the pleasure that it would give to certain people…far better to fuck people off by refusing to give them the satisfaction than fucking yourself off.

    • Tell me this is not true TITS. Only cunts would do this. You are definitely not a cunt.

    • Don’t do it TITS!

      Was once at my lowest ebb and harboured similar thoughts, if only briefly. Fought them off and I’m glad I did. Things can get better if you focus on the things that are making you unhappy. With me, I hated my job, being single (after a messy divorce) and being hung over or coming down from marching powder and other poison. Also, the company I kept was not good for me.

      I slowly cut out all the shite that made me unhappy and went to ‘yooni’ as a mature student (you don’t need to do that btw), sold my house and went traveling. Eventually, met a nice woman, got a job I like and cut out the poison.

      Is life perfect? No, it’s not and never will be. I’ll always have regrets. Just cut out the things that make you unhappy or work towards doing so.

      Anyway, good luck and don’t do owt daft. And I hope no cunt puts you down for the dead pool btw.

  12. I have little sympathy with those saying their kids can’t afford to buy property in their own (tourist) hotspot (although I genuinely feel a bit sorry for the kids themselves).

    It’s the cunts living there that saw the pound signs (I don’t blame them by the way) and sold to the highest bidders (well off townies). I’d do the fucking same, but at least I admit I’m a cunt and wouldn’t be whinging about the younger generation not being able to afford a home in their hometown, after selling my semi for half a mill to some Tarquin and Cressida cunts from Londonistab.

    And if somebody doesn’t like tourists, how about not moving to a tourist spot?

    Personally, I don’t like tourists either so I wouldn’t move near a place the cunts descend on en-masse as soon as the sun comes out.

    Don’t like it? Sell up and move. The cunts will never stop coming, I’m afraid.

    Not unless the locals can get together to make tourists feel unwelcome? Perhaps just travel across the Channel because the French seem to have it off to a fucking tee.

  13. The Bat Flu has brought many cunts to the local beauty spots,a large proportion are Snack Bars,the filthy little cunts.
    Of course the whole area is now a shitty mess.
    Oh and there is also a good dose of flabby “millenials” also.
    The whole rat’s nest wants birching and chucking down a well.
    Self obsessed vermin.

  14. I live in a seaside town and was out for a walk tonight with the kids rubbish all over the beach feral tramps hanging about drinking and fucking dogshit everywhere the cunts cant even park their cars properly half the main street was blocked with abandoned cars in the winter when the caravan parks are closed the place is spotless

  15. I loathe them but seeing as I’ve been one I the past and they pump a load of money into rural communities its tough shit.
    They can still go suck a egg.

  16. Forking moderated.

    TiTs, you have friends here. Look online for Samaritans, and MIND.
    They can help.

    Stay well please.

    • Seconded Spons – my Father and Brother killed themselves, it’s no solution and just leaves pain and guilt for those who love you.
      Fight that black dog TiTs!

      • Fucking hell Vernon.
        No words can convey sympathy to a brother cunter for your loss.
        Life is fucking hard at times.

        Re: suicidal thoughts-one of my my mantras in life has been, “if you don’t know enough to judge, then don’t judge”.
        But….
        Talking helps-talk to family, friends, mental health professionals-anyone mate.

  17. Nice little coastal towns, gradually bought out by Londonistan Dwellers for investment and holidays, filled with lockdown breakers escaping the shithole of the Capital. Hordes of dopes flocking upon the easing of restrictions and dumping tons of dicarded shite in lay by’s, swearing and puking, yesterday’s Tattoo display on a part of the body that should never be seen in public! Bang on cunting!
    This is why I always encourage our ferals to holiday in Benidorm. Beautiful Britain only for those who will respect it , and take their rubbish home. Execute Fly dumpers !
    End of rant !

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