Well its happened again to the surprise of no one. Another day another company bends over backwards to crawl back up its own arsehole in the name of diversity. Birds Eye the frozen brand has replaced the familiar image of the jolly seaman, Captain Birdseye, mainstay of over 50 years on its packaging, with a woman.
Apparently this is just a temporary measure to promote a new line of fish fingers but seems to me another symptom of replacing white men in advertising to bolster companies woke credentials. What’s next, ‘Milk Tray Non-Binary Person’?
On the plus side at least it wasn’t a Somali pirate. Fuck off Birds Eye.
https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/local-news/new-captain-birdseye-woman-gloucestershire-4311718
Nominated by: Liberal Liquidator
Cod preserve us. They’re skating on thin ice. Is no plaice sacred any more?- admin
Ha ha, using a woman to advertise fish fingers! Ho ho, that’s a good one!
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I’ve never been mentioned in a nom before😀
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“I ‘ate you, Butler!” Hehe 😀
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That’s made my day that has…
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Maybe Captain Birdseye’s been banged up for being a paedophile!
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What is the new line, ‘Smells Like my Fanny Fish Fingers’
Bunch of cunts.
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Gwyneth Poltrow has the patent on that.
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I can see where this is going. I was going to have fish fingers for my tea. Don’t think I’ll bother now!
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This has made me think. Was Dr White a male or female? Considering the nature of the product I would have thought that would be important. Or was it just a made up name to lend an air of medical authority to the sales pitch? If so, why choose the name WHITE? The more I think about it the more I see the heavy hand of the systemic racist, patriarchal state!
In the name of social justice I demand answers!!
I have advised all my transitioning friends to avoid this fascist product. May I suggest you do the same?
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Perhaps Uncle Ben’s sanitary products? He is at a loose end and remember BLM. Innit.
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Are your transitioning friends currently tadpoles?
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At least it’s not Nicola Sturgeon.
Oh dear. That’s opened the floodgates for some lame puns about fish. I bet MNC is preparing some as we speak! – admin
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Miserable is a mere trainee. Bertie is the pun guru on these pages so expect some classics when he wakes up. No pressure Bertie, don’t be koi!.
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Bertie does carp on though
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But like a true punster, he rarely flounders.
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Bloody hell you lot! You’ve stolen my thunder.
You’re getting quite good at this!
Actually, I love fish, the way other people love dogs on this site.
I went to a pet shop on Saturday to buy a fish for my tropical collection.
The assistant asked “do you want an aquarium?”
“Why the fuck do I need to know it’s star sign I said.”
Alright, alright, I’m working on it!
Nice nom LL.
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PS I taught Miserable everything he knows.
What do you mean, I didn’t make a very good job of it?
😅😅
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What a load of pollocks.
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I suggest we send captainess to see the Codfather – he will hake her an offer she cannot refuse, and nothing to do with that sick squid she owes him.
But, I am fed up to the gills with snowflake wimminz nonsense – there’s just something fishy about all of this.
OUCH! Whoever is putting bricks in the coats before throwing please desist – one inaccurate shot could ruin my youthful good looks!
Rotters! 😢
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Where’s Amber Rudd when you need her eh?
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they’ll be flooding in from all the Kippers
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I wonder what her sailoring credentials are.
In the nomination picture, I don’t see any captain stripes on her uniform.
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Or scrambled eggs and a lady officers hat. I call shenanigans on this impersinatrix.
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Rankings are imperialist, sexist and of course racist. And therefore don’t apply to Wimminz and other minorities.
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I assume this has been done for reasons of gender equality, and it’s simply stupid.
Can we now sack Auntie Bessie from the potato cutter and have Uncle Bert’s delicious oven chips?
I have to be honest, those ruddy fish fingers have shrunk in size and have become soft and limp, so maybe the new brand image is truly representative of the product 🤣
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Looks like a child to me, which would make sense considering the product. Staple diet for kids these days……fish fingers, burgers, chips, pizza and fried chicken for our diverse offspring.
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Dr Oetker brand frozen pizzas creep me out. It sounds like they’re made out of nasty pig bits and spiked with Pervatin. They should just call it Reich’s rarebit.
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One day you’re conducting Nazi experiments in concentration camps, the next you’re making pizzas. Crazy world.
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‘Ristorante’. They try their best to recreate the feel the sense of being in a pizzeria in Napoli but spoil it with the ‘Dr Oetker” at the end.
As served to prisoners in Colditz
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Or preparing the Fuhrer’s medications at his Bavarian eyrie
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She will crash the ship when attempting to reverse park it in the Birds’ Eye dock.
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Or leave the handbrake partially on when taking off for a jolly ocean jaunt.
Or get her stiletto caught in the rudder then cry and blame “the patriarchy”.
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I was expecting a mixed-race, lezzer couple to be honest.
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I bet old Captain Birdseye will be very happy to have this wench on his crew, for those long nights at sea. Yargh haha!
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What, the dear little girl pictured? How dare you!
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Maybe she can have a scissor sister moment with the Admiral in the insurance adverts.
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Something wrong with you cunts.
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Most things.
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She was only the fishmonger’s daughter, but she lay on the slab and said ‘fillet’.
Morning chaps.
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This is all well and good but what happens when she’s on her period and just sits on the settee for a week?
No fish fingers that week.
The daft cunts will sink their own boat.
Good riddance I say.
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Only one place for those fish fingers UT…. in the oven.
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“The next time I saw her she was in pink. All in pink, all in pink, she made my fingers stink”
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Well if this is where advertising is going I dread to think who’ll be singing “a finger of fudge” next….
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@cuntflap:
Finger of fudge has Owen Jones written all over it 👍
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Sure it’s not the other way round? So to speak.
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I wonder what Captain Pugwash would think? Oh, and don’t forget Master Bates, and Seaman Staines! (great show back in the day)
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Looks like she’s giving The Invisible Man a gobble.
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She wants a good kick up the porthole!
(which reminds me: if B&WC was here, no doubt he would take a vested interest in her porthole!)
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I miss B+WC and Lord B ….Kimodo seems quiet at the minute too.
I like to think that B+WC is serving a short prison spell for debauchery and will soon return.
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I believe he has had surgery on his tongue. Piles apparently.
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Indeed, Mr F.
Assuming he comes back and makes a post, the first response should be “who the fuck are you then?”!
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That’d be quite amusing.
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Saw another mixed race couple on an advert this morning; dark key bird with a white soy boy, incel cuck for a change. Suffice to say piss was boiling instantly. Just can’t remember what brand/product it was. Says a lot about the fucking advert I suppose. Will report back later when I remember the cunts.
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West I near fainted the other day I saw an all white couple in an Aldi advert they most not of got the memo
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I wonder what ‘ahrr ahrr me hearties!’ is in Somalian?
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If we ever do leave the EU (very unlikely), expect a return to the old Cod Wars with the Frogs in the English Channel.
I bet Ms Captain Birdshite wouldn’t have a clue how to fend off those grasping, conniving cunts on the ocean wave!
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“I am the Captain now”=”Anigu waxaan ahay kabtan hadda”
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Fucking hell Miles! Being a west cuntry cunt I talk like that, i.e. like a pirate all fucking the time. Avast yah scurvy dogs! 😃☠
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Yes, apparently, Covid spreads more quickly on a pirate ship than any other ship. Something about having a much higher
“Ahrr” number.
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I would not be surprised if they make mutiny on the bounty with a woman. Marlon brando will not cover the diversity tick box.
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If it’s diversity you’re after you’d be wanting to see black genderless paraplegic wheelchair bound pirates climbing the rigging. Swinging around on ropes, “oi my hearties, watch out with those wheels, avast I say”.
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They should have recruited Uncle Ben-I hear he is currently perusing the situations vacant page.
Would encourage our diverse, non indigenous populace to try something different from chiggun.
Cultural appropriation or “White Bait”? 😉
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Yes cuntfinder i could uncle Ben playing the part. On your question, yes its white bait as usual. Its almost as if they want to wind up the white population.
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Never get a young woman to advertise fish products. Some perv….
Too late.
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What about when she’s on rag week, falls out with the navigator and grounds the ship on doom bar during a blob strop?
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Maybe she’d be like that Italian cunt ramming his cruise ship into rocks showing off and telling the navigator to “fuck off and stop criticising my driving”!
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It all went shit-shaped when the grizzled old beardy cunt, who sounded like Robert Newton, was dropped in favour of some gay looking captain in a nicely trimmed hat.
WAFLOOB.
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What a load of woke bollocks
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