Women who take everything personally are cunts.
Not only everything in real life either. They take the hump at absolutely everything and anything that is aimed at a specific woman (fact or fiction) is also aimed at them.
Music. The Stones did Under My Thumb. Yet there really are women who think Mick is singing about all women and especially them personally. A bit fucking strange, considering they have never met the man. Never mind that they weren’t even born when the song was written and recorded.
Television. Women (the same ones as above) who will howl and gripe over characters like Del Boy and Gene Hunt. Saying how they ‘don’t like them’ because they ‘say horrible things about women’. A good job they are fucking fictional then and actors playing parts, isn’t it? Fuck me.
Politics. Any bloke who bemoans what happens when we get a woman Prime Minister (Maggie Thatcher or Theresa Iscariot) gets all the childish ‘What about all the nasty men who have been in charge?’ With Hitler at the top of the list. Only difference being I don’t see insults aimed at Hitler as personal digs at me. And also it’s ‘OK’ for women to tie all men in with Hitler. But say Maggie was a pain and they take it as a personal insult.
And the most recent classic. If anybody says they don’t like the new woke Doctor Who and how the show and the character has been ruined, it’s the automatic ‘Misogynist’ ‘Hater’ ‘Sexist’ and ‘It’s our turn now!’ bollocks. In their crazed fucked up minds, if f you don’t like Jodie Whittakunt, then you don’t like women in general.
Sir Laurence Fox was dead right. They are absolutely fucking bonkers
Nominated by: Norman
And seconded by
Mr Polly
Women
I´ve been reading a gloomy tome by Tolstoy called “The Death of Ivan Ilyich and Other Stories” and was about to reach for the vodka bottle and a cutthroat razor when I came upon this pearl of wisdom in “The Kreuzer Sonata”. Read on then call the cops and have your wife, girlfriend, mistress, paramour, lover, whatever you call her, arrested immediately and throw into the dungeon.
“Count the factories. The greater part of them are engaged in making feminine ornaments. Millions of men, generations of slaves, die toiling like convicts simply to satisfy woman´s caprice. Women, like queens, keep nine-tenths of the human race as prisoners of war, or as prisoners at hard labor… They take revenge for our sensuality; they catch us in their nets.
Women have made of themselves such a weapon to act upon the senses that a young man, and even an old man, cannot remain tranquil in their presence. Watch a popular festival, or our receptions or ball-rooms. Woman well knows her influence there. You will see it in her triumphant smiles.
As soon as a man approaches a woman, he falls under her influence and loses his head. Long ago I felt ill at ease when I saw a woman all dressed up for a ball but now it simply terrifies me. I see in it a danger to men, something contrary to the laws; and I feel a desire to call a policeman, to appeal for defence from some quarter, to demand that this dangerous object be removed.”
ISACers of the world unite. You have nothing to lose but your chains!
Excellent noms.
Of all the dozen or so of personality traits I despise about wimminz, being self-righteously offended about stupid, trivial shit just to get on a man’s case and ruin his day must be number one.
Fuck them. Or as most middle-aged married men know, don’t fuck them; don’t even attempt to give them a cuddle after they’ve shat out a couple of kids, you’ll be instantly rejected and made to feel like a perv for following your natural instincts.
33
Thats my relationship summed up perfectly. The daft cow still has a strop on if i look at other women though.
17
Oi ! Karen ! Yes, you !!
2
I only wish to fuck a woman. Im not interested in discussions, negotiations or anything other than the obedient bobbing of the head.
15
Might explain why they are offended!
17
Thin skinned critters aren’t they!
11
Ive no problem with wimmin!
My mum is one.
From the dusky beauty of ulrika, the tenderness of Amber Heard, the loyalty of Treason May, the dilligence of Cressida,
The intellect of Flabbott,
Woman are great, but fuckin terrible drivers.
‘Luv wake the fuck up, put your foot down, signal , and get out of my way, im busy doing man things, go bake or clean.
Nope im a modern man im all for equality of sexes, the split arses are ok by me!
27
you kinda lost me after you said “intellect of Flabbott”
Clearly you’re on a promise, or you’re still high as a kite from your bong stash
13
Hehee!😁
On my best behaviour at mo Techno!
I like my tea cooked, my clothes washed, and im not jeopardizing a good thing!!😁
12
Women? Fine creatures and the World would be a worse place without them (and almost certainly less clean!).
It’s just that a lot of them are barking mad – being a modern sensitive sort of chap I am tuned into what offends them (usually everything I say and do except “I’ll pay for this” 😄) so I have stopped calling them “birds” – because hoes and bitches don’t like that misogynistic kind of talk!
Should be some sort of Wimminz needs and stuff counseller I should.
19
Please, please, let the clutch out before you accelerate dear so we don’t get the kangaroo effect.
It’s embarrassing especially in a Jaguar which should be driven ultra smoothly.
4
Mine is;
‘erm, this car has third and fourth gears, dear’.
6
My van has gear in the back…ahem.
1
Amber Heard, is all I have to say on the subject.
She will tease you
She will seduce you
She will marry you
She will fuck you
She will then shit on you.
end of.
16
And shit on your bed apparently.
13
I believe that is also a Maybot speciality.
2
Some people pay good money to be shat on. I don’t think they pay for it if its just been dumped on the bed though.
I’ll stop now.
5
Brown Showers are a fucking art-form.
Worth every penny.
The only down-side is that you can’t see anything past the first gush – which sort of spoils the thing really.
1
Considering advances in disillusionment, denial and surgery I think this nom might have just cunted 99% of humanity.
Nice shot!
8
Just wait till I get screamed at by all the Karens tomorrow as I am not wearing a fucking mask to go to Tesco.
11
Tell them your mother is from zimbabwe and the mask is a sign of imperialist oppression.
That ought to buy you ten seconds before the penny drops and they really get mental.
12
Women fall into two basic categories
1. Totty
2. Pointless.
Try not to offend number 1.
14
‘Women should be obscene and not heard’.
Groucho Marx
This quote now has an additional, unintended meaning following the travails of Johnny Depp.
12
Two things are responsible for turning wimmin into such moaning complaining bitches, never happy unless they are protesting in my view, one is the BBCs Wimmins Hour with Messrs Garvey and Jeni Murray manipuating their pseudo intellectual bill-shit and the other is the Labour Party, especially if the woman is BAME or lezzie – they hear every day about their “rights” and how badly treated they are, with snivelling examples of the oppressed, and the other is the Labour Party, which for years have put tarts on a pedestal with their all wimmin shortlists and their committees – it doesn’t help they are led by an old woman – Dame Kweer himself.
Henry Vlll had the right idea with how to treat whinging wimmin. If he had been around the Home Service in 1946 Wimmins Hour would never had seen the light of day.
15
I wonder if there’s a photo of Sir Jenni Murray and Dame Kweer side by side. Possibly with one of Murray’s woppits shoved up Kweer’s rectory passage.
1
The permenently offended Bulldyke Phillips has been complaining again:
https://www.aol.co.uk/news/2020/07/23/labour-mp-hits-out-at-completely-fake-viral-article-in-support/
Poor cow – always the target of abuse and threats if violence.
All I can say to Mr. Phillips is, remember that old song Try A Little Tenderness. If that doesn’t work, give her a good smack in the gob. Take your pinny off lad and man up.
10
She deserves everything she gets, if you snarl at everybody someone may snarl back.
6
They’re showing the David Tennant version on Drama, Saturdays. Hope they show the Matt Smith version. Karen gillan, gingerrrrrrrrrrrrr. Not a fan of Smith, Eccleston was better.
6
I find that Men are just as easily offended as Women if you know what you’re doing.
Fuck Off.
16
Afternoon Fiddler, I like it when people take pride in their work, many a year devoted to your ‘art’.
6
Afternoon,LL
It’s a gift I was born with, but I do still like to put the effort in.
6
I have no idea what I’m doing and I still manage to offend. Particularly the men with a nice hair do, or the ones with nice clothes and “fragrances for men”, and the ones who like popular culture, socialism, the labour party, ant n dec, football, and the neckbeards, the ones who don’t drink, house husbands, the ones in touch with their feminine side and the weak ones. I don’t know why, but I seem to have serious problems avoiding subjects that offend…
It’s like I have each foot in it’s own bucket all the time!
8
The weak are the meat the strong eat
2
I’m working on a gay conversion therapy, to make myself into a gay.
If i were gay, i’d have settled down long ago. Sadly i’m not. Gay men enjoy the lowest levels of spousal abuse (they what being hit feels like so tend not to throw punches lightly) and generally earn more between them.
All that’s needed to complete this life is a French bulldog called Leopold.
I would never declare myself MGTOW but i do see what the sad hopeless bastards are on about.
Very few women ive met are mentally stable enough for me to want to get involved these days. I’m not saying this as a resentful ugly bastard. My experience and opinion of women is very similar to Laurence Fox, an actor two-three years older than me who has no doubt had vastly more shags, but he has simply observed the same qualities (or lack of them) in women younger than 35, and in my case women up to 45, the ‘Karens’.
I’m simply not interested in their mindgames and dramas, and am generally quite selfish with my time and money as it is. I gave up online dating about 5 years ago as you got the worst sort of mental case being able to choose from dozens of slobbering men, a situation that is completely at odds with the real world.
The ratio of men to women is appalling.
Why would Sean Connery, in his prime surrounded by fanny, say he preferred the company of men if women were complete bores and idiots, with no fucking sense of humour?
If I meet a decent one in future then fair enough. If I dont then fair enough.
I’m not putting up with an entitled brat.
14
Good points, but I think making yourself gay is a tad over the top….
6
That’s just my very idd sense of humour.
1
Or a dashund called Oscar
4
I have a neighbour, youngish, late 20s, nice jugs but a voice like a foghorn. She has a husband who does everything for her, and they have a 4 year old daughter. Every day she is out in the garden playing with the kid using a baby voice and keeps saying “1 , 2 , 3….weeeeeeeee.” – all fucking day. She must do sod all. When her husband gets home he will cut the grass or generally get busy to keep out of the way of old trumpet tongue I expect.
Most youngish wimmin have been treated like little Princesses by their dads, and in turn the husband becomes the new dad and is expected to indulge the stupid woman like the biological dad did.
More fool them for being so weak and taking their old buck, but of course in my neighbours case they are brining up their pampered brat to behave just like mum did in years to come – and some lad will be daft enough to encourage her.
12
As for the wee, perhaps inveigle your way into her life with a pack of Tena, It’s what they all want, apparently.
Probably what Verminhofstadt needs as well, as the contortions on his face when he was berating van der Liar looked as if he was about to swallow Epstein’s mouldering egg whole, whilst pissing his pants.
1
It’s been said that if women had been in power from the start, we as a race would all still be sitting in a dark cave while they combed each others hair.
8
Men who have been around long enough, like most of us, know this about women – they’re all the same and they’re only good for fucking. I think I know what Cuntamus means about gays. Men understand men and homosexuals just get on with doing what’s most important – shagging each other.
8
Women?
Easily offended?
Nah fuck off!
Can’t be true!
Where’s me tea love?
7
Could do the gay bit without the poofery !
So basically you and your best mate in a flat
60inch flat screen and fridge full of beers
5
Fuck mental women they need to get the chip off their shoulders and since when has being a real man toxic it’s all bollocks ! thing is women like cunty men that are masculine not weedy wee soy boys in the friends zone as my brother says if they didn’t have fannys you would knock the fuck out of them
4
I think mine is an archaeologicist because she keeps digging shit up from the past.
And another thing; don’t ask a question if you know the answer is going to upset you!
6
Archaeologist. Sorry my spelling went to shit after my second pint of brandy.
4
And when the cunts get all ‘offended’ about men being ‘sexist’ and pinups and the like.
When they all squawk like chickens at firemen and read Fifty Shades Of Shite.
Double standards isn’t in it.
7
99% of people are stupid, and 99% of that 99% are wimminz.
Sorry straights, I know you love all that flange with its flaps and fronds cascading everywhere, but it’s as ugly and chaotic as female’s innate ids.
3