Junk Queue Addicts

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Just a mere snack…


Idiots in our land of idiocracy are queuing for miles to get their fat fingers on McDonalds junk food and queuing for hours to buy overpriced junk flat pack furniture from Ikea.

Yesterday I read that motorists in a queue for McDonalds wouldn’t get out of the way for an ambulance on an emergency call in case they lost their place in the queue. Just staggering.

Back onto Ikea.. the furniture is shit. Nobody over 30 should own it. Antique furniture is the way forward, well made, environmentally friendly, far cheaper than new and doesn’t fall apart. You can also flog it for more than you bought it for if you’ve bought wisely at auction. Ikea shit ends up on Schpock for a fraction of the cost of buying it.

Idiots in my county are also causing tail backs queuing for coffee. Have these morons never heard of a French Press?

Nominated by Cuntologist

73 thoughts on “Junk Queue Addicts”

  1. Is a French Press the hold that Derek Chauvin used on Floyd?
    He’s got a bit of a Gallic sounding name after all.

    • I want a McDonald’s now Moggie.
      Agree Cuntologist, queuing up for coffee and flatpack shite, or McDonald’s is mental.
      Do like McDonald’s though once went in late at night, pissed up asked what they could do me, 20 odd chicken nuggetts for £3.50!!
      Deal of the century.
      Ate the lot stood at taxi rank till I got a white taxi driver.

      • Your all class Miserable! I bet you had a few dozen nicked traffic cones in your garden from teenage escapades of a night out.

      • Naw more a student thing LL isnt it?
        Used to wake up in hedges and allsorts of places as a young un.
        Happy days☺

      • Those were the days eh Miserable?
        A friend who went to Aberdeen Uni tells the story of the pre-Xmas bash he went on there.
        Started drinking about half twelve in the afternoon, and the next thing he remembers is waking up the next morning, in the front garden of his digs, under a foot of snow.

      • I originally went to uni in Manchester and woke up one Sunday morning to go home after a party. Wandered around for a while, trying to get my bearings, only to discover I was in Sheffield. Not a clue how I got there.

      • Did a similar thing when I was at Salford, walking back pissed up after a party in Urmston.
        Stopped by the poliss and asked where I was going, I replied to Salford and they kindly informed me I was on the M6 heading toward Carlisle.
        Cunts wouldn’t give me a lift either.

      • I also once fell asleep in the bogs in the Students Union of Leicester Polytechnic (De Montfort University now) and rang the police when I woke up around 4am to tell them I was locked in. I rang again an hour later to be told “we thought it was a wind-up”. Walking around a balcony got me to an unlocked window I managed to climb out of. Well done security, for not finding me in the bog in the first place.

      • @IY went there from ’83 to graduation in ’86 and later when it was De Montfort University. Spent hours in the bar on the pinball machines. My impressions are the Poly had a better reputation than the renamed uni does. Apparently, some now famous bands played there in the late 70’s/early 80’s and I recall Sigue Sigue Sputnik were booed offstage, after one one them was hit by a coin.

      • Moggie63: Wow! We overlapped by a couple of years. I graduated in ’89. I was gutted when LP became DMU. I didn’t enjoy the experience as a whole. Leicester’s a bit of a hole and being a student wasn’t my kind of lifestyle. But I got my degree and that’s enabled me to live/work in the US so I’m not complaining.

        Loads of ‘bands of the day’ came through the LPSU. I remember a bunch of guys from my hall of residence went to see King. I still remember one of them saying “if you don’t see them now you never will because they’ll be gone”. He was right. They had a very short career and only one big song:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlXtrnh-Ejo

        Great to know you were there too. Cheers – IY.

      • @IY remember the Charlotte? Some bands that played there before they got snotty:

        Arctic Monkeys, Coldplay, Blur, Pulp, Radiohead, The Killers, Primal Scream and The Libertines

      • Moggie63: Yes, I do indeed remember the Charlotte. It was directly across the road from the building I spent most of my time in, The James Went Building. I don’t think I ever went in the Charlotte. I may have for a pint, but I didn’t see any bands there. One band that seemed to be on the bill every other week was Yeah Yeah Noh. I picked up their Best Of a while back. It’s quite good.

        While I was in Leicester I saw some decent shows at the De Montfort Hall. I saw Gary Numan multiple times, The Stranglers, The Style Council plus some others I’ve since forgotten about.

        I learned the hard way one time that the box office isn’t at the venue. It’s in the council offices in the city centre. That was a long fucking walk back into town. Grrr!

      • You wouldn’t recognise it now, the underpass has been filled in, Charlotte has closed, it’s ….well…just so different that …and it’s full of chinks………………….the bastards are everywhere.

      • Moggie63: The underpass has been filled in????? WTF? How do you get to the Poly now? Erm…I mean the Uni?

        Just went online to do a bit of research and to my absolute horror I found out they demolished the James Went Building in 2004. Cunts! I spent probably thousands of hours in that building. I’m gutted. I really am. Feels like part of my history has been taken away from me. I always thought I might have a little wander around the place again one day. No point now – it’s gone! Just gutted.

  3. If you want a McDonalds so bad, just order it from Uber Eats and Abdul will be at your door within half an hour, no need for queuing up for miles around retail parks in your motor. These fucking peasants are as thick as shit.

    • I live round the corner from one but don’t drive, so to get one would cost me £3.95 delivery. Why can’t I walk through the fucking drive-through?

  4. Junk food?
    When my little world went to shit and I found myself renting a room I found a kettle barbecue in the back garden.
    one evening I would wrap a joint of lamb in tin foil, chuck in a few herbs throw one of those quick light charcoal bags in it, light the fire in the morning and go to work.
    So for a week I would have cold lamb or beef, I fucking loved it!

  5. Thankfully here at Quimson manor I avoid all these classless onesie wearing gutter snipes, seem to find plenty of litter from such grotty establishments around the lanes though, bunch of cunts they are!

    • Have Onesies been cunted yet?
      Truly the lounge-wear choice of childish cunts.

      • Well if they haven’t, bloody well should be! Staying at a campsite in North Wales a few years ago, got up for a leak at first light, (still half pissed) and met some Doris dressed as a zebra trailing across the field! Hooves the lot!!
        By the time I got the .375 out of the boot! Disappeared!!

  6. There must be something wrong with chubbies who become excited at junk food outlets re-opening. How depressing is it seeing these pale, dull-eyed chunkies waddling out of Nando’s after imbibing over-salted/over-sugared shit with as much nutrition as a rubber duck, then feeling peckish again in less than an hour. Merely looking at them makes me feel a tad diabetic.

    It could only be worse if you were working at the houses of Parliament, were famished, then found yourself in the canteen queue behind Tubby Johson, Pritti “Do Nothing, Eat Everything” Patel, Jabba The Blackford, and the Flabbotasaurus Rex herself.

    The fat cunts.

      • Just the salad left Ron, as foreign to the Flabbott as police officer expenditure.

      • I forgot Lammy, booing over his empty plate once chocca with Jaffa Cakes, and singing, ‘We’ll Meet Again’ the frothy, fat cunt.

        Evening compatriots.

  7. Junk Queue Addicts? I immediately thought of the McDonalds in Brixton. There’s a corner which is the office of the local drug dealers. They sit there all day, purchasing the occasional milkshake. They and their customers and runners come and go all day long. If you want to use the bog you have to ask for the key. This is to discourage the desperate from going in there and snorting up or whatever those hopeless tramps do. Presumably the coppers don’t want to know as it takes a riot squad just to arrest a shoplifter. As Suckdick would say “all part of living in a big city.”

    • I had a piss in that Brixton corner McDonalds once. All over the floor.

    • Would that be the same Brixton where my mate got stabbed with a screwdriver while queueing to get into Brixton academy for politely declining the offer to buy some crack?

      The same Brixton, where opposite the police station there is a 24hour pawnbroker with handy 24hour defence lawyer attached.
      Hilariously, the pawn broker’s window is full of faux diamond covered faux gold dollar signs on a chain that would serve to anchor a small trawler. 😂

      That Brixton?

      The same Brixton where the surprisingly clued up young lady of colour who ran the Fridge nightclub voluntarily closed it down because of um… Agressive young black males chimping out and attracting police attention. Every fucking night it was open.

      That Brixton? Is that the one you mean?

      • Sounds like it to me, although it’s getting whiter by the day……well by the night…..the arriviste millennials are minting it in the City during the day. They tend to come out at night waving their credit cards about and being terribly woke ok ya?

      • They tried that in the late ’80s, early 90’s

        Same shit. Different century.

        I hear that some of the backstreets around the market now have an impressive 66% survival rate when walking home after dark.

      • OB, it’s reckoned that Brixton has become gentrified.
        Hmm.
        Unless “gentrified” means ‘a troop of dodgy, lazy immigrants continually on the make and fiddling the system for every ounce of coin they can whilst making their surroundings a festering, disease-ridden shambles’, I reckon it’s simply the same old shitehole.

      • Well, it’s not gentrified yet but it’s on it’s way. I reckon it’s going to be one of those places where the houses are all owned by the young, white middle class surrounded by tower blocks packed full of the poor, illegal immos etc. Very much like a Grenfell situation.

      • Yep the very same, the place where my mate was beaten to death with a 3′ scaffold pole for protecting the site from robbing bastards nicking the copper sheeting from the roof of what became the brixton recreation centre, popes rd in the early 80s, should fucking nuke the place and any left overs goes to unkle terrys oven.

    • I think the term he uses Freddy is ‘Siddy’, largely due to the fact he is an uneducated useless Peaceful cunt.

  8. What really pisses me off is the fat slag shoving the grot in her mouth when driving, with a load of brats in the back.

    • Women can multitask though! I was going around a roundabout that has a McShit on it, and this slut in a long wheelbase Isuzu Trooper pulled out on me. Obviously she didn’t look, the monster truck gives cunts the air of superiority and invincibility, but she was smoking a fag with one hand and had a cup of coffee in the the other, using her shoulder to jam her mobile phone to her head, totally engrossed in her phone call. Behind her were the obligatory half a football teams worth of kids, ramming junk down their throats like ducklings. Busy woman, got to get stuff done between pregnancies I suppose.

  9. I think it was about three or four weeks ago when KFC re-opened. There’s one close to my Sainsburys but on the same filter road off of a roundabout. I was intending on doing some shopping when I saw the chaos and tailbacks. Its a five junction job and in 18 years I’ve never seen such a mess. The Ricoh Arena’s just down the road and even on match days I’ve never seen anything like it. Even worse considering that my brother worked briefly for a market diagnostics firm and found out that KFC uses grade C poultry. Fucking madness, which I all I expect these days.

    • The day before lockdown, the ‘bag for life’ and I decided to treat ourselves one last time before the apocalypse and ordered a KFC as a farewell to life as we know it.

      It was fucking devine. Well cooked, properly seasoned and delivered from the Notting hill store in eight (yes, 8) minutes. Still piping hot.

      After the cunts reopened, we ordered the same thing, from the same store…. It was cack.

      I spent three days pebbledashing the toilet. By day three, I was shitting blood through the eye of a needle. Even had the Aloe vera wetwipes stored in the fridge to cool the burn and to try and gently coax the sigmunds back up.

      Glad I shared that.

      Not an experience I would queue several hours for though.

      • Ive not eaten KFC in a few years. The nearest one is 10 miles away and is shit.
        Dried out meat, rubbery fillets, greasy wings and chips cooked in old oil.
        Get the crumb-coated pieces from M&S and you’ll
        never look back.

      • KFC isn’t too popular here except amongst Polynesians and the Orientals, that will eat anything. Seen quite a few shut down. We colonials have a distrust of battered, crumbed and spice encrusted meats. Even the natives have noticed this and tend to prefer to frequent roast chicken shops, which are more prevalent here.

    • Used to live in Longford while it was still unoccupied territory. Trouble was having to pass through fucking Foleshill to get there.

  10. When we do a all dayer in the boozer(seems years ago) theres a place in stockport does something called a Kong burger.
    Never had one sober but when youve been drinking all day on a empty tummy its gorgeous!!
    Akin to licking out a young Stevie Nicks!☺
    Sets you up for the last few hours.
    Dunno why’ kong’ burger?
    Maybe its bush meat?
    Couldnt give a fuck, they di the deed!🐵🍔🍺

    • That will be next on the wokeflakes hitlist of ‘racist’ things. I had one in Queenstown in NZ called the Fergburger, gone a bit upmarket since with venison and falafel (eh?) versions and merchandizing like t-shirts and caps. Nowt like a dirty burger Miserable.

      • Dirty burgers,dirty fighting, dirty women and dirty language😁

      • I still prefer the sort of truck stop/ fun fair burger /hot dog with fried onions and slice of cheese with those industrial bottles of ketchup, mustard an brown sauce to the side, served with a polystyrene tray of piping hot chips.
        Mcdonalds feels a bit tame and fake.

  11. Fuck the fat cunts that live off this shit.
    No Ikea settee I’ve ever seen could hold their sweating bulk.
    Set the fuckers to 12 hour shifts litter picking.
    Then oven.

    • Just brought the new UK passports, remember, going to be blue?
      Cool Britannia, Boris=brexit etc
      Well they’re Black.😁

  12. There’s one less Wendy’s in Atlanta after some scallywag burnt it down following the killing of a drink-driving chiggun enthusiast after he came at the officers with a purloined tazer.
    I see the offending pig has been charged with murder by some leftie DA.
    As a result, most Atlanta pigs have called in sick today and there are no responses to 911 emergencies.
    Hard to know who to despise more, the arrogant, bullying filth or the violent jigâboos or the commie scum trying to tear up the constitution.
    Does any cunter reckon that the USA is on the precipice of a full-on civil war?
    What about yourself, Imitation Yank, are you safe and well?

    • Greetings Thomas.

      Yes, me and the Mrs are safe and well. Not much to report locally. I expected more of a ruckus given Black Floyd came from Houston and whose body was brought back for a service and burial. Credit where credit is due, the late Floyd’s family have, for the most part, tried to calm things down. Pity it hasn’t really worked, but as we all know it’s not about him anymore.

      I think most (whitey) folks are just waiting for this latest uprising to burn itself out (no pun intended). This has all happened before. Black person dies at the hands of a non-black (doesn’t even have to be white – e.g. George Zimmerman) and the black community goes mental. The backlash fires up, goes on for a while, then dies down and we all carry on. This time it may be different because it’s a convenient vehicle with which to discredit and damage Trump’s presidency.

      Eventually it will either all blow over or something else will come along and a new (fake) news cycle will begin all over again. In the meantime, if you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time and do or say the wrong thing, you could quite literally lose your life. Defunding the police won’t happen of course, but more and more cops are either quitting, not showing up for work or protesting themselves about how they’re being treated/portrayed.

      I don’t feel in any immediate danger, but I’ll admit I’m glad I have some fire power in the house. Cheers – IY.

      • Evening IY. I do wish the Met’s cops would take the same approach by quitting or not turning up. This would at least accelerate all this nonsense and bring matters to a head rather than having a long drawn out saga with no decisive conclusion. However, I shouldn’t think this will happen because the whitey cops are well on the way to “enslavement”. 😀

      • Evening Sir Bert. How goes it?

        You make a decent point. The blacks may well have good reason to feel aggrieved, but they’re not doing themselves any favours by lashing out at everyone and trying to eradicate police forces. If you could have a proper conversation with them and hear out their grievances then we might get somewhere. But when they offer up that twat Gary McFarlane as their spokesperson, intelligent discourse is not on the agenda. I saw his (ahem) interview with Mike Graham on the Talk Radio website. The guy said all the protests were peaceful and there was no civil unrest or rioting or criminal damage. Delusional doesn’t come close to describing that prick.

      • Must watch that interview! Do you know, Imitation, with all this going on, I’m not really interested in the resumption of football!
        Do you think I should seek professional advice? 😀

      • I do Bert. Your lot are a whisker away from notching another title. A season ruined by the Kung Flu, but a title is a title and you didn’t get all those points by accident. Exactly double the points my lot have. Hahaha. Says it all – unfortunately. 😉

        I know what you mean though. I put the first game on yesterday and as soon as my mate in the UK pinged me on my ‘phone, I chatted with him instead of watching the game. That’s how riveted I was to the re-start of the season. I joined the City game about 30 minutes in. I thought they played quite well and scored some good goals. Seeing Luiz being shown up for the useless cunt he is was enjoyable though.

        My lot are on telly on Friday and I’m really not that bothered.

      • Here’s a tip for cunts who want to keep up with events in Yankeeland.
        Look up Mock and Daisy, two blonde Milfs who not only talk sense but are fucking funny. They do a video and a podcast almost every day I believe. Really good stuff.

      • When I search for blonde MILFs on the interweb, it’s not usually a podcast I’m looking for. 🙂

      • Ok Yank. Try Brandi Love. I think that will fulfill your needs. Fuck me, i’m a mine of information today!

      • LOL.

        I’m watching Mock & Daisy on YT now. I fancy the short haired one, but I wouldn’t kick the other one out of bed either. Both would be nice.

  13. I’m thinking of opening a fast food joint.
    Colonel Isac’s can you fuck a tied chiggun. Catchy eh? Well use only the finest chlorinated chiggun imported from the USA and ensure we only use the white bits.
    Hey, is that why they like eating chiggun?
    It’s white and missionaries are thin on the ground these days? Fucking racists.

  14. Those who blocked the ambulance should be rendered down to make soap for Black Lives Mattet protesters.

  17. Fuck me! Not letting an ambulance by for fear of losing their place in the junk queue?!?!! Disturbing, pathetic, alarming and astounding all at once; went through the gamut of emotions when I read that part of the nom. Wtf happened to us as a country and as a people??!! Oh, wait, ‘New Labour’ was elected back in ‘97 and opened the floodgates as per its expansive economic migration polices; a forerunner of fuck-uppery if ever there was. Alas, the writing had been on the wall ever since, and was greatly compounded by the USA sleepwalking us into the illegal 9/11 Wars (i.e. the invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan). And, just to compound matters further, along came the anomalies of Brexit and Trump, which have drastically thrown the left’s multicultural plan and vision into complete chaos. Just look at it out there — it’s a complete debacle! Worse still, I don’t think we’ve even reached the crest on this wave of fuck-uppery yet!

    Can’t say anything about Ikea, though; cheap, aesthetically pleasing and convenient. Fuck off! 😀

  18. I have pondered this for about 3 days now, I do not eat “Junk” food I don’t like it, I have however eaten it occasionally and I was trying to think why I did.
    I think it was the lure of a plastic toy or something that made me want it.
    I had a milkshake from “Wimpey” about two years ago, I think it was thirst and nostalgia that made me do it, who knows maybe in another 38 years when I have forgotten the experience I will do it again.
    I would like to add the following disclaimer.
    Proper fish and chip shops, kebabs made with whole meat (not Donner), any vendor of German sausage (Bratwurst, bokwurst, currywurst), decent pizza. do not come under my classification of “Fast foods” any item that appears in your hand in less than 3 minuets I view as dubious to say the least.

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