Dodging the Dog Shit and Pavement Crayoning – If it’s not bad enough having to plan your walk with military precision lately e.g sideways walking to avoid some likely lurgy cunt, two metres, two metres, two metres ARHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I now have to glance downwards on the pavement every two steps to make sure I don’t walk in some freshly laid dog egg.
Seems to be even more lately, what the fuck is it with the cunting dog owners? I must admit I am OCD with cleanliness, clean pavements, no litter, no graffiti, no fucking chewing gum. And don’t get me fucking started on the kids crayoning shit on the pavements lately also, if you want to draw, do it in a book you cunts.
Nominated by Bob Frapples
You think it’s bad now Bob. I can remember the days when I would frequently get in my car and the smell of decomposing dog shit would rise up from the peddles or I would walk it all over the carpet before realising the whole house was plastered with it.
One thing you don’t see these days is petrified old white crumbly dog shit. I’ve come over all nostalgic now 💩💩💩
21
Agreed Fenton, used to be loads of crumbly white dog shit around when I was a kid, seems to have disappeared now and you only see the brown stuff.
A metaphor for life In the UK perhaps?
24
White dogshit is racist. It has rightly been confined to the past.
Black Dogshit Matters.
28
1970’s Hove, 100% white, 100% Tory but fucking hell, playing footie on the lawns was grim.
7
Just think yourself lucky, Bob, that you don’t live in the Yardley area of Birmingham. Imagine the mess and the smell when Jess Phillips takes hubby out on a lead to do his business. I can’t imagine her clearing up after him.
19
Despise the cunts that let their dogs shit on the pavement or in a park and don’t clean it up.
On the other hand I’d quite like some cunt to do it outside my house so long as I could catch them and “re-educate” them.
Pigs.
11
It looks like most BAME cunts and smells the same too.
While I’m at, want the government to do something? Get a dark key on telly screaming inequality, iniquity and racist obviously and watch the government shit there collective pants and u-turn the weak cunts. I’ve had enough, off to work to take it out on a customer.
19
Crumbly white dog shit is the result of giving a dog a bone (literally). Too many dog owners today are too busy feeding their dogs on gourmet a la carte nutritionally approved slop. Hence the scarcity.
16
I find the cunts who take the time to bag their dogshit up, then leave it on the fucking nearest wall even bigger cunts!! Put it in a fucking bin cunt, that is the whole fucking point of picking it up FFS.
22
Some cunt yesterdy put their plastic bag on top of my orange recycling bag for the dustmen – what a fucking cheek.
14
There’s a local cunt that throws their little black bag of dog shit over my hedge into the garden presumably late at night when nobody’s around. We get lots of foxes in the area that come in to the garden and love to rip open the shit bags that are thrown over thinking maybe there’s food in them, and then the foxes have a shit themselves. If I discover who the cunt shit bag tosser is, I’ll redeliver their midnight gift at 3am through their fucking letterbox and then have a piss on their doorstep. Cunt.
10
I love dogs but I don’t love their careless owners.
P.s this made me laugh
https://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/dog-did-a-poo1.htm
Morning, Bob. Morning all. 🙂
12
Good afternoon Spoonington and fellow counters.
1
Cunters not counters. Fucks sake.
4
At least dogs have an excuse. I once found a pile of human shit behind an old stone wall on the Fell….when I say I,I actually mean one of my hounds who promptly rolled in it, How did I know that it was human?…the giveaway was the bits of pink toilet-paper stuck to my hound…I’m pretty sure that neither foxes nor badgers feel the need of 3-ply luxury arse-wipe.
Fucking ramblers/hikers….trespassing,disease-spreading despoilers of the Countryside. How would they like it if I went and did one of my Guinness -squirt shites on their decking/artificial turf ? They should be banned.
Fuck them.
21
I saw some cunt squatting down for a shit behind the shelter in the park last week. This was around 8 am whilst on a dog walk. Unbelievable, not a caravan in sight either.
People are cunts Dick, pretty much all of them
15
When I used to work in one of the multicultural enriched boroughs of London, the business I worked for had a customer car park at the rear that my office overlooked. One morning right by the rear entrance there was what I can only describe as a huge shit mousse. Our CCTV revealed the culprit to be a rather well built female cunt of a darker hue taking a dump at 2.30am while her friend stood next to her. As my boss had recently dispensed with the services of our culturally enriching cleaner on the basis that the lazy cunt turned up and did fuck all for her wages, I and other members of staff had to try and remove the aforementioned shit mousse from the tarmacadam. If any of you have ever tried removing the fecal remains of jerk chiggun after it has been sitting exposed to the air for six hours will know that it sticks like glue. Even a hose on full power won’t shift it. In the end we had to tip bicarbonate of soda all over it, add a little water and leave for day. Give me dog shit any day.😑
10
Very astute observation that, DF-F.
Why is it always PINK bog paper?
Used to come across it all the time in the Cornish cuntryside when we were kids.
6
Ah the days when I went to the local field to play football or cricket with me mates and where you decided to put your jumpers down for goalposts or stick in the wickets depended on where the dog shit was.
Who can forget the light coloured brown smeary shit as the ball rolled through it wiping it as best you can before bowling or kicking it again.
Ah happy days
12
Once played football in the park years ago. Ball had gone into some dogshit and was played to this bloke with a moustache. He headed the ball and the dog shit went into his tache. All of a sudden we hear this “Err, err, err” from him. He went home and shaved the tache but he said the dogshit smell was up his nose for a week.
7
With you on this one fellas. What winds me up is the cunts who go to the trouble of picking it up in a little black bag then hanging it in a bush or tree!!
What Viz labels appropriately as a shitbat!
Weird!
Good morning
11
It’s the cunts who bag it and leave it fuck me off the worst. Stupid moronic wankers who walk their cunting dogs along the canal path near me usually bag it and hand it from trees like Christmas baubles, or leave it on the tucking path. If they got a stick and flicked the turds into the canal or the long grass on the other side it would be ok, but no. Stupid thoughtless selfish cunts, I fucking despise them.
12
Dog shit in the goalmouth was our ‘home advantage’ when I used to play football. We had to hope our skipper won the toss and chose the other end, otherwise it was a mad scramble with a stick to save our goalkeeper from the brown stuff.
7
I’m all for kids chalking all over the pavement. I think it’s great…..in their own fucking country! Take your chalk, here’s a tenner, now fuck off back where you came from. I’ll keep the dogshit just get out of my country.
12
Getting onto the common a mile from my house is fun, especially on a humid summer morning.
The whole place reeks of shit.
I used to drive my dogs to more open countryside with bridleways and a couple of streams and usually no cunt in sight.
7
I find toxic bags of the stuff miles from anywhere. Why bag it instead of leaving it to decay along with the badger, fox, goose and deer shit? I am not talking about paths and pavements here. Though I often find plastic fucking bottles discarded by some cunt enjoying the countryside. Beyond me.
13
Good morning, all. I saw some filthy fucking mutt laying a load of Barkers Eggs outside a shop. As it finished, it ran out into the street with a look on its face that said ‘FUCK YOU!’ Unfortunately, it chose exactly the wrong moment to play Chicken with the traffic, and disappeared into the wheel arch of a Discovery and then under the back wheel. As the despicable cunt tried to run off, screaming like a banshee, it was shitting liquid poop!
8
I’ve more time for animals than people, a badly trained dog is the result of a cunt of an owner, it would be much better if said owner disappeared under the wheel of a traction engine.
12
There are any number of people I’d like to see under the wheel of a traction engine and I don’t care whether they own a dog or not.
10
Herds of the fucking things in Thailand, which is where I witnessed it, just roaming the streets, fucking and shitting all over the show! In many ways they are the canine version of BLM! No problems with seeing any of those suffer the same fate!
6
Aha, well yes, there you go.
More Little Yellow Bastards.
In the wok, gas mark 11.
6
Strangely enough, the Thai’s seem to like to look after the fucking filthy beasts, and would never harm one. Hence, the predilection of laying out in the fucking street, Dogs that is, forcing drivers to go around them! Personally, I would like to squash them into the asphalt but there are always people around!
3
No time for dogs or their owners. Filthy animals kept as emotional toys, or accessories, by weak people. Rolling in, and eating, shit. Yeah, fuck off.
Other animals have the decency to shit in the undergrowth where only Saville types go, not at entrance points, middle of pathways, middle of open fields. Only domesticated wanky pets do that, enabled by the voyeuristic shit fondler owners who offer physical protection from predation.
10
Even cats have modesty about where they shit. Dogs just do that ridiculous squatting thing whilst looking at you with that ‘whoopsie’ faux-guilt expression as they publicly and gleefully defoul whatever surface takes their fancy.
3
Sorry TBCC but my dog (hound) is a bit of a cunt, he likes to shit in the most difficult and inaccessible areas where it is hard to pick up (Which I do) he specialises in shitting on brambles and his best one so far was shitting on an angry wood ants nest, which I also picked up.
0
Few years ago caught some bloke shifting behind my house near my gate. I Grabbed my spade went out and flew for him. He fell over started to run. I quickly shovelling his shit up and chased him and threw his arse chocolate over him and hit him with my spade. What a dirty cunt, Police were called by a neighbour and statements taken. The plod were up for having me till I mentioned his public exposure and the fact l have children. The bloke was caught and a caution given to the poo bandit..
11
If you let your worthless flea carpet shit in public spaces and then do not clean it up you, yes YOU are a complete cunt and can suck my balls.
Filthy animals, filthy people.
6
Dogs are dogs, they can’t clean up. It’s down to their owners. Those who leave their dog’s shit about should be fucking run over. Those that bag it, THEN leave it hanging from the nearest bush should be fucking shot.
Cunts.
Oh, and good morning one and all!
9
As the sometimes proud owner of a couple of waggy tailed shit machines, I make a point of taking at least half a dozen bags with me on their walks.
I carry a mental map of where all the bins are, much like car owners carry a mental map of where the greed cameras are.
In my part of town, you are never further away than 200m from a bin to drop the shit into. We even have hound poo bins in certain areas (outside Piers Morgan’s place) where there has obviously been a lot of complaints.
Not cleaning up after your hound is pure cuntishness and should be punished by a day over at Wormwood scubs common on poo patrol, cleaning up after other people’s dogs with bare hands.
8
There aren’t, imo, many things worse than dog shit peppered all over your local pavements and parks. Fucking makes me retch! Nothing against dogs per se, but, fuck me, their deposits sure do stink. Hate it when I’m enjoying a stroll on a summer’s day through the park or cemetery and that noxious waft wrestles with your nostrils. Cat shit, too, is just terrible . . . their deposits smell a bit more saltier than dogs. Yuck!
Ps: When on holiday in Portugal about ten years ago, I smelt the worst smell of my life. Was blind drunk, got separated from my mates . . . was effectively a straggler trying to get back to my hotel. As I was hunched over some outdoor resort fixture, foaming at the mouth and wobbling like a baby giraffe, this group of about 6 birds came up to near I was. One of the group (a big fat northern lass from Newcastle by the sounds of her) proceeded to drop her shorts, cock her big wobbly, flabby arse up against the wall and take a big steaming piss right beside me (got a good gander at her shaved snatch, too). Without exaggerating, it was literally the worst smell I’ve ever smelt (like I said, I was blind drunk and I can still vividly remember it as though it was yesterday). It was fishier than fishy, and it was made all the more pungent and noxious by the humidity. Fuckin’ nasty! Now I’m middle-aged and less fussy, I sometimes get the horn when I think about the aroma. Go figure!
7
you can always tell when the council have been cutting the grass over at the local park when you’re a hundred yards away thanks to the smell of newly shredded dogshit and cut grass.
Those cunts who don’t clean up after their animals and dispose of it in the bins provided need it served up to them, thickly spread, on a slice of bread and made to eat it.
4
Nothing says Good Morning like a Brown October in the eye. Unless it’s accidentally pounded underfoot
Still. I’ve lived in the San Francisco Bay Area long enough to know any piece of pavement is fair game for any vagabond’s buttshittery. so the odd doglog doesn’t phase.
You can’t walk down Market Street these days without some Motherfucker tying one off right in front of you. And then they’ll turn around and beg off you. When you just want to get McDonald’s.
7
The liberal sanctuary city. Love San Francisco but it appears to have gone downhill over the last several years.
4
Only the other day I had to tell some busy body to fuck right off, my female dog jumped out of the car for her early morning walk, she gets on the green squats and has a long piss after sleeping all night, so this cunt shouts from 30 feet away HAVE YOU GOT A BAG?… YES I SHOUT back to him and ignore him, so as my dog gets up with her bladder empty the busy body cunt comes storming over to see if she has shat, I tell the dumb cunt she is female and has had a piss, and he goes all huffy with me, so I call him a dumb interfearing cunt who should mind his own fucking business, so after me calling him every swear word at 6.15am, I felt it was a good start to the day, first class cunt!
3
A few thoughts on shit.
Firstly as someone who does pick up I find it very annoying when people do not pick up their dogs shit.
Dogs tend to shit where other dogs have shat so often I end up treading in someone elses dog shit while retrieving my own dogs.
Next on the agenda is “Busy bodies” as stated above, dogs tend to shit where others have already shat, and I know that one day some one will point at a random turd and accuse me of leaving it there, I am not sure “Touch it, it’s cold” is going to work, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
Again on busy bodies, I had a blue peter moment with another resident on that, as the dog took the pose, he shouted out the window “I Hope you pick that up” To which I replied “I have loads of bags, and here is one I made earlier !” waving a nice bag of shit at him.
Lastly in this day and age where you can be arrested for carrying anything more threatening than a pencil, I find comfort in having a large bag of dog shit with me on my walks, As you all have mentioned you find it repulsive, where as I find it to be a useful defensive weapon, (and I do not mean throwing it) only the most rabid attacker will tangle with someone who has shit on there hands,
so do not leave it on the floor, you never know when you will need it.
0