Royal Mail [5]

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ROYAL MAIL:

A Post-even-earlier-for-Xmas, first (or second) class cunting please for the pusillanimous Royal Mail who have announced today (very quietly), that due to “the virus” (what else?) that they are stopping Saturday deliveries “until further notice” (i.e. for ever).

Royal Mail stops Saturday post deliveries until further notice

I can only assume Royal Mail’s medical officer is an even bigger genius than Chris Whitty – they obviously know that postmen are more likely to contract the lurgi on Saturdays – much more likely than Monday to Friday.

Though not yet stated, I assume a similar excuse will be found for post box collections and post offices as well.

It has been clear for years that Royal Mail want to reduce services to save money and maximise their profits. Why can’t they just say so, rather than hide behind Covid19, which all the shit companies are using as a generic excuse for lousy service.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

 

Royal Mail

What fuckin’ slimy cunts. What a great time to suspend Saturday deliveries – a Saturday before a Bank Holiday. They say it’s only temporary during the current crisis but we all know where this is likely to end up as they’ve been looking to stop Saturday deliveries for some time. It’s in response to staff requests to help ease pressure, they say. Now, like many public services today, I’ve nothing against the coal face workers. Your average postie by and large does a decent job but Royal Mail management have been fuckin’ up for many years starting with Adam Crozier. I’m not generally in favour of privatisation for public services but it’s time the whole workload was thrown open to private delivery.
At the threat of this, Royal Mail would soon be reintroducing Saturday deliveries.
Make the cunts compete. Delivery services near me are fuckin’ awful at the moment and the cunts need shocking into action.

Nominated by Bertie Blunt Tory Cunt

63 thoughts on “Royal Mail [5]”

    • Mrs K reckons that the posties will use their Saturdays from now on at car boot sales, selling all the stuff they’ve nicked during the week. Cunts.

      • I’m sure 98% of Posties are honest and sick of the few dishonest ones who give them a bad name. Last year, I had a birthday voucher stolen from a card and actually used. I had to write about three times to Royal Mail to insist they carry out an investigation. All management could do was repeat telling me to make a claim. You fuckin’ wankers, I want you to investigate it!

      • You must realise that profit is the goal ; they have shareholders. Far cheaper to reimburse you than spend money investigating theft.
        Possibly Admin might think of introducing a ‘ Corporate Cunt of the Year’ award.

      • Drivers often take the vans home with letters in the back, witnessed 1 driver rifling through the letters on my tcctv.,technically Illegal privacy invasion as its overlooking his property hence nor reporting his driver.

  2. Good nom boys!👍
    Totally agree.
    I know most of the posties round here, went to school with them, they left school straight on the post, been there 30+years, was a job for life.
    But Royal mail is fucked greedy bosses greedy union, both shit on the ordinary worker.
    And nowadays loads of competition, so make them compete, as Bertie says soon be wanting to restart Saturday deliveries.

    • To be fair to them theyve just gotten my new bank card to me in under 24hrs.
      Think thats pretty good.

  3. When Royal Mail are made to compete with other carriers, some people have warned that they will be left with the uneconomic end of the business, losing money delivering to Faggot McTaggett in the Scottish Highlands and Islands. Who fuckin’ cares as we’ve been subsidising the Scots with this and many other things inrecent times.Let them have their own Scottish Postal Service. They’re used to falling standards in other areas such as education and the NHS.

  4. At least they won’t deliver bills on a Saturday which a lot of corporations seem to time precisely so as to “get one”s attention” eg. ruin our weekends. The cunts.

    • They did used to deliver HM Revenue and Customs letters on a Saturday though, not sure if they still do.

      Remember in around the early 1990’s received a tax demand from them which popped through the letterbox very early one Saturday morning demanding a £2200 payment in relation to my company car. Had the whole weekend to fret about it.

      Spoke to the tax office on the following Monday and the final amount was reduced down to just over £200.

      Hacked off even so as expected our company accountant would have notified the relevant tax office and sorted the matter out on my behalf.

  6. Postmen/Women are 100% legends where I live – they will do anything to help and nothing is too much trouble – a genuine breath of fresh air, and superb service every time.
    Royal Mail, however (unclench fist, simmer down) are, if you will forgive my crude language – utter bastards! Some Years ago little Satans henchman Mandy Mandelson the mince of darkness decided it was a profitable, er, I mean, “good” idea to privatise this superb institution and split it into Royal Mail, Parcelforce and Post Office counters – and to add insult to injury they shut the already overused and slow main Post Office in my town and relocated it to, of all places, the back of WH Smiths – proud and deserved holders of the worst customer service in the UK title for a number of Years. WH Shit have so far managed to break or “lose” hundreds of Pounds worth of my business stock and when I complained on one occasion I had some bloated bitch of a “manager” being very verbally abusive to me, to the point where other customers were telling her to shut up and stop being such an awful bitch. All caught on CCTV, and she is now “seeking other employment”.
    Replaced with a chavvy blonde scratter who thinks serving customers is an irritating interruption to her Farcebook time, innit. I used to politely point out to her that I run a business and every hour I waste in there (and I mean an hour!) is costing me money – now I don’t bother – I just march up to the lazy skank and bang on the window partition saying loudly “SERVICE PLEASE”. She fucking hates me, and the feeling is mutual, believe it or not I am a polite and well mannered person as a rule but I will not have the piss taken.
    WH Smiths should lose this contract, and if that lady moved a bit more she might lose some fat off her huuuuge arse! 🤣
    Excellent and much needed double nom!

    • Good rant Vern. I wonder if scratter or skank are trigger words?

      • Nope. Can’t see any other reason why your comment would go into moderation then.

    • Totally agree with you Vernon. Everyone on the left conveniently forgets it was mincing Mandy that fucked up the mail, when he was totally up Anthony Blair’s arsehole.

      Our town main P.O. is in a branch of W. H. Smiths and has been closed since WHS went into lockdown so when I need a P.O. I have to make a long journey to a still surviving (but only just) sub P.O. some miles away. I am just surprised Mangledum did’nt think it would be a duckie idea to close those down too.

      It boils my piss to think the only reason that fudgepacker was made a Lord and not forgotten like the rest of the New Labour Ultra shits like Pompous Pat Hewitt, John Jockstrap Reid, Stephen Drop-His-Drawers Byers, and Mincing Alan Milburn was that Gordon Brown, who hated his guts, enobled him because he thought (stupidly) the great streak of cunt would help him win the 2010 election. The Scotch idiot actually thought the stinking, mincing, oleaginous heap of shit was a vote winner.

    • The ‘Lions led by donkeys’ situation that is so common in this country.

  7. Random disappearing post! Not a clue on that one – I blame wordpress voodoo craft or something!
    Can’t be bothered re-typing it all, lazy wretch I am! 😀

    Fuck knows what happened, I found it in a strange place and put it back for you, could say it got lost in the post!
    Afternoon cunters, good to see you all chatting away

    • Afternoon Mr Fox,
      Do you not copy the text before you post? Whether I’m posting my inane crap on my phone or the ‘pooter, I always copy the text before pressing the “Post comment” button as I never know whether my sexist, racist claptrap will go straight into moderation. Then I add umlauts, etc before re-submitting.
      Randomly, WordPress seems to find the word”đwāřf” offensive!

      WordPress is fine with it, it’s the boss (He is vertically challenged)

      • Afternoon Thomas, Vern.

        A few other offensive words, according to WordPress:

        pâddy
        héinz
        grîstle
        byrné
        jüdgemént
        excéedîngly

        The site will be fucked if they add CUNT to that list.

      • You want some more?

        gôlly
        hoôker
        fâggot
        nônce
        snîggér, snîggéring
        müzzie

        And, of course, any word with cüm in it, e.g. docüment, circümstances, etc.

      • Afternoon fellas, that catches me out the most ‘dòcüment’.
        Didnt know Gólly was a trigger though Ruff.

      • Afternoon TtCE – not something I do TBH, it just always concerns me slightly as to whether I have put something libellous, naughty etc but generally I check my posts for anything like that so methinks it is just WordPress pedantery!
        (Either that or Admin are currently sending the boys round to give me a duffing! 🤣🏃‍♂️)

  8. Bought an item last week that was tracked. Royal mail delivered it and it was signed for. Not by me, nor Mrs K who was in the front garden at the time some cunt signed for it. So it wasn’t at my address and royal mail helpline say “It’s gone”, I won’t ever see it and there will be an investigation. For me if it’s being tracked then you know where the fuck it is. Fucking thieving, spastic cunts.

    • A story for our times Rob.
      I ordered some books by post from dahn sarf as all the bookshops are closed. They arrived soaked to buggery, wrapped in a RM plastic wrapper with ‘damaged in transit’ on it. It’s as though some twat actually went to the trouble of leaving the parcel out in the rain for hours.
      They are now ‘investigating’ and my claim form’s gone off to the useless cunts.

      • Hmmmm….bookshops eh? Do you mean Ann Summers? I wonder what kind of “books” these were?

      • Evening Fred
        Nothing so exotic mate.
        Being a history buff, I’m fascinated by the American civil war. That’s what these books are about.

      • They just don’t give a shit. 20 years ago I did some driving work which meant picking up cargo from North London and driving it to the Metro Centre in Gateshead. I got an insight into how the parcel game operates when I got to Gateshead and the cargo was thrown out of the back of the van into a pile and I was even offered some of it at a knockdown price. I always declined as I needed my job. Worked in the restaurant industry too whilst I was still at school. All I can say is, never complain and send a meal back…. You really don’t want to know. There are some right cunts out there and royal mail and parcel delivery firms are right up there.

  9. When I was a temp driver I used to drive the GU special. that is the truck that leaves Guildford goes up to princess ann depot in london and brings it back.
    As such I was not in their Union club or whatever you want to call it, so I would go up to the depot and collect cages of mail (Called yorks) now I can fit so many cages on to my wagon, some of the cages had 1 bag in them, so I would just hook the bag out and chuck it in another york until the fucker and the truck was full.
    I know that the cunts in Guildford sorting hated me because when I rocked up it was put down your sandwich time.
    The sorting office whalers were cunts, one of them tried to kick me out the hall as I was going to the toilet (Commuting to the appropriate place not pissing on the post), he came out with some bollocks about not being allowed near the post, I countered him with if I was going to nick any I had ample opportunity with the ton or so letters I moved every night, and I had a key to the diesel pump he didn’t (now who is more trust worthy).
    But my local postie in the sticks, well you can not cunt him, he would put parcels in plastic bags and leave them by the door (never asked him to, he just did and they were his bags) he was an all round good bloke.
    The mrs and I used to leave eggs out for him (duck or hen whatever was surplus) to sort of repay his kindness

  10. Hahahaha. Mr Boggs. Bertie. Fuck me, not much makes me but them noms did. Bravo! Bravo I say…

  11. Posties? Spot on, superb service.
    Royal Mail? Cunts. Greedy, sly incompetent thieves.
    Privatisation certainly improved that one – thanks Mr Blair 😡

    This is the abridged version of your earlier post?

    • No, different one – the earlier one disappeared into the ether, slightly baffling as I am “kind of direct” with my posts but always mindful of the relevant legalities (always useful to avoid potentially being sued etc!) – but, hey ho, not to worry – worse things happen at sea!
      As the bus driving Father of a dinghy salesman once told me..
      (That could be a fib! 😁)

      • Said post has now reappeared thanks to Admin – good form!
        On other news – it’s fffreezing in Sunny Yorkshire, I clearly do not have MNC’s robust constitution!

      • If I recall RTC, “New Labour” had already put the wheels in motion – the legislation was there, and to their discredit, Cameron’s shambles (all but New Labour in name) just proceeded with it.. If I recall Mandy’s friend Alan Johnson was all in favour of it, which made that ignorant cunt even more of a hypocrite since A Johnson had at one stage of his useless life been a postal union leader.

  12. What a company of cunts.
    I remember when all of a sudden the my mail started turning up at 1pm, and not in the morning…the lazy cunts.
    Used to have a good scam going when I was a younger cunt…used to ‘Send my £1500 Apple laptop off to get fixed via Special Delivery’ I would turn up with the box (with a weight inside) and pay for it at the counter insured for up to £2000.
    After weighing and payment the cunt at the counter would ask me to take it to the hatch, I would then take the weight aaaaat and leave it there to be sent off. Made abaaaaaht 3 grand aaaaat of the useless cunts and like to think I’ve helped to bring the Royal Mail to near bankruptcy.
    Go fuck yourselves.

    • That will teach them B&WC! Royal Mail is now split into deliveries, Post Office counters, Parcelforce, Royal Mail, and now WH Smiths who have the contract to provide Post Office counters service in my area. A more useless bunch of cretins would be difficult to find, hour long waits are commonplace and when it all goes wrong (as it frequently does) I have the joy of being passed from pillar to post between these various crocks of shite, usually a full day emailing complaints to get anything done but they are slightly better now I have started billing them for my time! 😁👍

  13. My postman and local Post Office are beyond criticism. I’ve bought and sold thousands of items on eBay and can’t remember ever having a problem with Royal Mail. Must live a charmed existence.

  14. Didn’t know Mugabe worked for the Royal Mail, no wonder my parcels have been going missing.

    Do I have to clap for him tonight?

  15. I’m a postie, and I agree with this excellent cunting.

    Some offices around the country apparently have backlogs and are struggling during this “crisis”. Our office was not one of them. Not until they suspended Saturday deliveries that is.

    We were clear, and happy that we were keeping up with the massive increase in parcels. It really is like Christmas every day right now, with none of the temps they usually get in.

    So we have gone from ticking along quite nicely to being fucked over every day. I’m fucking knackered.

    • Incidentally, at the moment we have to sign for your stuff, if you were wondering. We’re signing to say it’s delivered rather than you signing to say it’s received.

      We can’t have all your dirty, virus riddled paws mauling our equipment!

      • Filthy beasts we are PMC! Got a lot of respect for posties, one of my Brothers was one for many Years, destroyed a lot of vans! RM didn’t care as long as the delivery and collection times were sorted.
        Hard work done well for not much money.
        WH Smiths can eat my shit though – the only company I have ever known that make Capita look competent and helpful!

      • I have to say Paul, that my sympathies are with the postmen (and women but I don’t have any of them in my area). They work hard in all weathers, having also to deliver all those bloody pizza and DFS leaflets as well as heavy catalogues etc, and I have never known a dishonest one. Like the British Army in the first world war they are lions led by donkeys. I remember that bastard Alan Leighton, cockey cunt then even worse that Green woman, a Yank I think.

    • 😂 I was trying to avoid saying that Seymour but the style is unmistakeable. Expect the usual response.

      • Why are you using Bold type in your posts Terry?
        You’re surely aware that this is the prerogative of Admin alone?
        There is a severe penalty for anyone impersonating Admin on the site. 😅

        Not really, It is a security issue, to post as admin leaves an IP trace, so it is safer to come in and edit using bold, any one using bold immediately raises our suspicion so we scrutinise ip and comments.
        Could you imagine what would happen if one of the admin team were captured by Jeremy and his gang?
        God forbid I can imagine the interrogation now, Diana trying to muff ride me, shouting “talk Racist TALK”

      • And stop ticking your own comments!
        😀
        The usual format is . . . . . .
        Indignation
        How beastly everyone is.
        Picks up ball and takes it away until next time.
        Oh, nearly forgot – brief mention of girlfriend to prove manliness! 😅

      • I’m confused Bertie. Is the stuff in bold type above the work of Admin or CS?

      • PS: Pâddy is a trigger word for moderation. 😀

        No “Do you fancy a drink is”

      • Someone using bold to begin raises suspicions, that’s why he changed part way through?

      • We’ve agreed to split it Ruff, if I agree to not crossing the Welsh border during lockdown.

      • Cheers RTCP (and Bertie) but there may be traces of covid19 on cash these days, so I’ll pass on the fiver, ta !

        It’s the use of hyperlinks within the text, along with smaller font trademark letters and italics that give CS away, not just the bold text. Oh, that and the waffling…..

      • He also mentioned Jean-Michel Jarre’s Concerts in China, which CS referenced in a previous carnation. The clues abound aplenty! I’m off to have a wank.
        liverpool?

      • Has a CS post been taken away? He must have pissed off Admin. I blame Miserable for suggesting he should be ‘let in’ for a bit of sport.

        More a case of nasty admin has been furloughed and communing with nature and only occasionally pops in, he will be back though last stop Liverpool, been a busy boy been bouncing about quite a bit.
        TWAT!

  17. I don’t know if any of you read Private Eye but they’ve been investigating the PO for years regarding how they have been trying to prosecute Sub-Post Office Masters for Fraud when the real problem was the PO’s exteremly flawed IT systems. Over 30 prosecutions occurred before £58m payout ‘without admittnig liability’.

    Fucking cunts!

    https://www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/post-office-high-court-case-it-horizon-postmaster-prison-latest-a9249431.html

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