AutoSergei

Christ on a fucking bike will nobody rid me of these fucking meerkats???

I have now reached screaming pirch and am in genuine danger of smashing the TV screen when this fucking advert comes on. Bad enough when some fucking dickwit thought up compare the fucking meerkat. Worse that they ring it to death. But now they give us Auto-fucking-Sergei.

Let’s be objective for a moment. Comparison sites push the companies that pay them for click through. Then they push the companies that pay them for advertising.

When you get through all that shit, remember that the prices they quote are “indicative quotes only” so when you actually get the price, it’s inevitably different.

So – bearing all that in mind – would you seriously let this piece of crap do your switching for you using your money? Do you really think you’ll be able to get the best deal? If you do then you’re fucking soft in the head!

I reckon it’s time for, some fresh approach to meerkat advertising . After all, they must be running out of ideas. So how about…

Life insurance : Watching meerkats boiled alive in oil
Car insurance : Driving a car full of meerkats over a cliff and being smashed to bits
Home insurance : A house full of meerkats burned alive

Or best of all, travel insurance : A plane load of meerkats crashing into the Compare the Market headquarters with no survivors.

I’d pay money to watch those…

Nominated by Dioclese

28 thoughts on “AutoSergei

  1. These puppet cunts were mildly amusing when their ad campaign for started years ago; but now they’ve become like that fat yodelling cunt from the Go Compare ads – fucking annoying!

    And what is more irritating about these furry cunts is that their TV ads are becoming like film productions (I recall a few years ago they had Arnie “The Terminator” doing a couple of ads with them). Fuck knows how much those ads cost, but I bet they creamed it all back by ramping up customer premiums.

    I think the Right Honourable Mr Fiddler should set his hounds on the furry little foreign bastards!

    • I remember, in the early years, the meerkat website got more hits than the quotation site.

  2. Not sure if you are slagging the comparison sites or the advertising. Personally I love the meerkats. The idea of inventing a Russian meerkat just to confuse the words meerkat and market is a work of comedy genius and i’m not surprised it’s lasted so long. Every cunt finds funny foreign accents amusing.
    As for insurance it’s great…..until you want to claim. Then it’s daylight fucking robbery. Then you can stick the meerkats up your arse. I expect Lord Mandy does that quite often.

    • Back in 1983, during my university time, I used to hate BT’s “Busby” ads, irritatingly voiced-over by Richard Briers, IIRC. Private Eye did an excellent spoof – “All lines to everywhere are engaged. Don’t try calling back later, just fuck off.” But an aquaintance thought Busby was “sweet.” Meerkunts are ok; at least Russian, I think; thank Dod they aren’t all Mo or Abdul.
      Katie Price is worse, and I bet her knickers smell like a well-used Moscow public toilet.

      • Perhaps they could replace the Merrkats with Harvey? His rendition of “fuck off you cunts” would brighten any stay-at-home day.

      • Katie Price, been rattled more times than the fence at Auschwitz.
        Graffiti I saw recently on a toilet wall, I agree with you HBH she is horrible.

  3. Are they supposed to be Eastern Europeans? Why are they selling insurance and not drugs or illegal fags? Can Meerkats catch the Chinese flu? Send them to China where they’ll be roasted on a stick and eaten before you can say Simples.

  4. Meerkats !!!!!!
    At least you fellow cunters don’t need to put up with “ krankie sturgeon “ every fucking day on telly due to “ directing Scotland’s response to covid”
    Every fucking day – party political broadcast for the Scottish Nazi Party
    So MEERKATS are shite and annoying but ……….. can you imagine ahhhhhhh

  5. I see this advert as an analogy for the replacement of human labour with A.I and automation, Sergei is now surplus to requirements and lives on only through his masters charity.

    Amazing that a marketing executive manage to produce such insightful social commentary via the medium of advertising.

    We are all Sergei now.

  6. JC, all my bloody noms keep vanishing, and GP has just phoned to say he won’t up my meds for another fortnight !! Grrr….

  7. I think Sergei is cute. Does he use that massive dildo he’s holding to shaft policyholders?

  8. I wish these two would f**k off and get run over or deported or something…Meercats are from the southern part of Africa…why would they have Russian accents….and what has cinema tickets and cheap meals got to do with Motor Insurance. Even the fat go compare cunt got the message. CUNTS!

    • Exactly. Remember when they were offering the various meerkat toys if you signed up? Just knock a fuckin tenner off the quote instead. Tossers.

  9. Another reasonably amusing initial concept flogged into the ground. Still, at least they provide the lower classes with a catchphrase they can repeat in lieu of a sense of humour.

  10. I used on one of these cunting websites for my bike insurance. Stated prices was £200 but, lo and behold, when I went through to the site, the price had gone up a £100. I called them up and the girl gave e some bullshit about brokers but, magnanimously, said I could have it for the advertised price “you mean, complying with consumer law” I said. Cunts.

  11. Insurance is a complete rip off, all this competition is a joke, it’s bingo money.
    How the fuck can the same cover have such huge price differences.

    Auto Sergei needs a fucking rocket up his arse 😂

    • I have never taken out insurance for anything ever. Apart for three years in the early ’70s when I had a crap Lambretta with a broken kick start. Saved £££ thousands!

  12. How come the little furry bastards have Russian type accents? Was of the opinion that the meerkat originates in some African place not Vladivostok.
    Fucking bollocks screwing with the minds of English kids as if something from the back of the Baltic could speak English but then not many English kids can…Oh fuck it.

  13. Typical thick as fuck britchavs. They see these African rats (Meerkats are vermin) as lovable cuddly things. And that fucking ‘soap’ where they gave the little cunts ‘names’ and the ludicrous title ‘Meerkat Manner’? What the fuck was all that about?!!

    They really are unpleasant animals and if the cunts were here, the same stupid morons who think they are ‘cute when they stand up’would be shitting themselves and trying to get through to Rentokill.

    And which cunt thought of African vermin with Russian accents?! That is the product of a warped fucking mind. Naturally, chav moron cunts love the ‘Russian Meerkats’ too. The stupidity of the British people never ceases to amaze me.

  14. The fluffy toys are to remind the snowflakes of their happy times and safe spaces – and given their car insurance will be in the thousands not the hundreds they will need those safe spaces! 😀
    Look around annually, three weeks before renewal, do the leg work, play hardball – get the price you want , job done. Never seen the need for a toy to sort it for me. Three and a half decades of paying insurance makes me impatient, pedantic, demanding and tight.
    No need to treat adults like kids, but clearly it works as they keep showing this vacuous nonsense – the charity vampires won’t miss a trick – next lot of ads for them will show a cuddly black doll being thrown into a puddle of shit filled water then going blind on the walk home – contribute to Auto Mohammed! 😀🤦‍♂️😀
    Bad Man I am.

  15. I’ve actually seen meerkat in the wild.
    They’re about the size of a squirrel
    They come from Africa not Europe

    So the ad and their product are both a load of bollocks

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