The Cor-moaner Virus

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The Cor-moaner virus (see what I did there?)

I’m off work because I mentioned that I had a sore throat, so my company told me to fuck off for a week. Therefore, I’m gonna get cunting again, and I’ve decided to cunt these twats that are moaning about being told to stay in because of the Chyna virus….Is it really that hard?

I’ve heard loads of cunts over the last few days moaning about the government stopping them from going out. No gym, no pub, no shopping for pointless tat. You’re not being asked to storm the beaches of Normandy, you’re not being asked to conscript in the army, you’re not being asked to give away all your money and move into a fucking yurt…No. You’re being asked to sit at home and do FUCK ALL.

Easy.

I understand how concerning it is to have wages lost (I don’t get sick pay), but the Government have brought in the measures needed to protect people. 80% of wages, rent and mortgage holidays, SSP (for what it’s worth) from Day 1, you can even leave the house for a daily stroll (not me though). Companies are even offering to negotiate with people on bill payment dates.

Yes, it’s bad, but again, you’re not being asked to storm the Normandy beaches, or bayonet charge a German trench. Get a fucking grip, you moaning, soft cunts.

Keep calm and carry on? Na….
Get pissed and do fuck all? Suits me.
England expects….

Nominated by Deploy the Sausage

 

Apologies Deploy, just wanted to chuck this one in:

128 thoughts on “The Cor-moaner Virus”

  2. Well said deploy

    A very apt cunting and today the weather is fucking sweet

    • It is indeed. The first proper day of Spring. Anyway, can’t talk now, I’m off to the beach.
      Deploy the sunscreen.

    • Sorry sausage not onboard for this one!
      Its a fuckin nightmare!
      Im not at home on pay, ive lost a few grand in business, some of which i would of declared to Hrmc!
      An these nazi bootboy tactics about walking in the peak district by the plod?…they can fuck right off!
      Im used to wandering wherever i feel like, treasure hunting on farms, chasing sheep 🐑
      Skipping happily opening gates to a ramblers paradise!
      This lockdown is hellish,
      Our grandads on the beaches at Normandy?
      The Jammy fuckers!!

      Ps (for those with no sense of irony the views expressed here are to be taken with a pinch of salt.
      Anyone offended feel free to fuck off.)

  3. Excellent nom, Deploy, excellent. Fucking selfish, whining ‘Me Me’ cunts. I CAN’T stay at home….

    Had some grumbling at Tesco yesterday when I was ushered to the front of the queue and straight in – NHS workers can round here – kid recognised me from the local station and told the queue who I was, I turned to the surly fat slag and told her we were recruiting and did she want the number? I could see the red through her orange make up, especially when everyone else clapped. Never had a tear in my eye walking into a shop. Plenty coming out having paid, mind!!

    • Hopefully the Emergency Services will be treated with a bit more respect by everyone when this is all over…but somehow I doubt it unfortunately.

      Hope you and yours stay safe. DCI.

      • Bastardverminsqhum back to vandalising ambulances. kicking off in A&E waiting room on w/e nights…
        Bag over head, rope, trap-door.
        Look after yerselves, and here’s praying gvnmnt actually get you necessary PPE.

    • Superb response that DCI. As I’ve said before, for all those who are moaning – just treat it like a gap year. It brings a bit of ‘adventure’ into things then.
      I do, however, feel for all of those who are being denied their right to work, particularly the self employed and can’t see why it should take until June for this scheme to pay out.

      • I wonder how many of these two faced cunts who moan about an NHS worker getting preferential service in a shop are standing outside their doors clapping them the next night?
        I just worry that the longer this goes on, the morale of NHS workers, that is already low will hit rock bottom.
        If I worked for the NHS, I’d be tempted to give the public a big fuck off.

  4. Young libtards in Brighton do want they want anyway.

    They know they probably won’t croak if they catch it, but they certainly know they can pass it on to all those ‘disgusting old Brexiteer gammons’.

    Get the tank out and blow them to bits.

  5. I live next door to couple of fitness freaks, no kids, four bed detached house, flash motor etc. I caught the skinny little cunts having a sneaky run at around 0200hrs this morning as I looked out of the window because I don’t sleep well. The fucking little rats also run twice during the day and go shopping with car twice and walk the dog at least three times. Not that I’m stalking them or anything. So much for staying in the fucking scrawny little shitcunts. The BSA Mercury could get some action early hours of tomorrow; .22 pellet right in his fucking nut sack. Cunts!

    • That brings back memories. I used to love my BSA mercury, got an old supersport now, not as good though

      • Nice one Sir. I still have a Supersport carbine and a very old Airsporter with a re-varnished rosewood stock all re-blued barrel etc. Also have a Webley Vulcan and a Webley Tempest pistol. Love the BSA’s best though and most accurate for zinging the nut sack of a shitcunt errant jogger.

    • No no no.

      Weirauch 97k with laserking scope and Bisley crossheads.

      You want to split that knacker. Not just scuff it.

  6. Any cunters seen this little gem?

    Clap for the Kids.

    “Our little heroes have stayed indoors without really understanding why they cant go out or see their friends and family.

    In a blink of an eye their lives have been turned upside down and they are expected to follow rules they have never known, and live a life they couldn’t have imagined.

    To show how proud we are of them all, lets get everyone clapping for our little heroes!”

    Sunday 5th April @ 3pm.

    We are told this pandemic is a ‘war’ and we need a ‘Blitz spirit’ attitude, in the actual Blitz amidst an actual war with bombing raids, curfews and rationing and no NHS, kids and adults alike just had to get the fuck on with it. Top cunting Sausage btw.

    • What a lot of fucking cobblers.
      Get out and do bob a job week . Applaued for staying in?
      Fuck off.

      • Clap our little heroes? I’ll clap ’em round the fucking ear. Let me put my gloves on first.

    • I saw Rear Stormer clapping himself on tv last night.
      Looked like a vacant window-licking seal.
      Stupid arse.

    • Whatever happened to those poor cunts triggered by a couple of people clapping and demanding we all “jazz hands” instead to protect the delicate little flowers from such an assault?

      I’d wager that any one who dared have a twatter account would see those same cunts now swinging their blue checkmarks around and championing this latest “how virtuous I am” trend without a hint of irony.

      Like many more of you, I really do like that we hear a lot less from these cunts now that there’s something actually significant and based in reality though. Every cloud and all that.

  7. It has taken me a week To stabilize and flatten a wall.
    Built in the 70’s and subjected to multiple layers of wall paper and neglect, I stripped it back to plaster and began the laborious task of sanding and filling the wall to make it flat ( you know like the walls you have in your houses).
    I have dug a two foot deep pit in the back garden placed a chimney pot on top of it, It is like a little wishing well, I would not put your arm in it though as it is my dog shit pit (with bin collections not what they were and the sun shining, no more dog shit in the bins).
    So I am sort of relaxing through this period, just bumbeling round the flat engaged in minor repairs and digging the garden.

  8. Oh God… what on earth am I going to do with myself between now and the Queen’s platitudinous speech tonight?

  9. Good nom, I can see the tabloid article headings now, in a few months we’ll read….

    ‘Nagging wife gives hubby a Corona-ry during frustrated isolation’

    ‘Divorce proceedings go Viral after lockdown strains relationships’

    ‘Mum of 3 confesses she killed hubby because he ‘bugged’ her over virus

    Oh yeah, it’s all to come guys. The same cunts that have to park across someone’s drive because they can’t walk a bit further to their destination are going to be jumping up and down and pissing their nappies because they can’t go to the pub etc. Spoiled, mollycoddled snowflake cunts.

  10. I’m not sure about this one Deploy.
    My beef is that we’re being told not asked to shut businesses and only go out under certain circumstances. My and your individual civil liberties have been taken from us because of what? A virus with a very low mortality rate.
    I could say Singapore and Hong Kong have take different measures but have similar death rates or Sweden has done almost nothing and has low death rates. There is no pattern to follow here yet all nations, except Sweden,have brought in extremely hash restrictive measures. Some border on marshal law.
    As this unfolds more and more epidemiologist and virologist are coming out and saying this virus is not the new plague but the economic damage will run and run and be far more damaging.
    There is no evidence to suggest keeping people at home has made the slightest difference. People mixed in supermarkets and shops for ages before social distancing came in . If people mix in Tesco why not at work?
    It’s all been too drastic too quickly while lacking any evidence. Our country is founded on freedom of the individual not collectives.
    Once this settles there are going to be a hell of a lot of questions asked, mainly why countries fucked their economies because of a virus which for most is no real issue. Governments could topple but economies will definitely suffer and the ramifications for the individual and business will be far greater I suspect than this Chinese virus.
    Maybe the government has everyone’s interests at heart but why were leading experts with different opinions not consulted or simply ignored.
    People and businesses should have been advised but not forced and then individuals free to make their own choices. I have a profound loathing of state control and their judgement is often highly questionable.
    Feel free to rant at me fellow cunters I appreciate different points of view.

    • Morning Mac.
      I agree.

      As an aside,I went to the local Coop this morning. In front f me in the queue was a woman who carefully picked up several bags of sweets,looked closely at them and them put them back. She then moved on to some cupcake things…picked each packet up,looked closely and then put them back…

      • Morning Dick,
        I take it the staff sprayed said items with pure ethanol after she had pawed them!?
        No? Didn’t think so.

      • That’s what got me,Mac….they’ve got staff policing the queue….cleaning each basket…limiting numbers coming in….prevention measures where you can’t approach the till until the cashier retreats….cards,not cash etc….all very laudable,but what’;s the point if one old Dear paws numerous items as she shops?

      • Morning,Cuntlestiltskin
        They were unfortunately out of Quail’s Eggs, Caviar and Truffles..hopefully my delivery from Fortnum and Mason will arrive soon.
        Luckily they did have plenty of Fray Bentos tinned pies plus I shot a couple of nice wood-pigeons the other evening so this is one Fine-Diner who won’t go hungry.

      • Er, coop—-chiggun?
        Fuck it, it’s probably me missing the boat, I’ll turn me own oven on.
        Here we go again….

        Good morning DF and goodnight Vienna.

      • I agree Dick.
        Mass testing, then containing and treating people, im willing to take a test as soon as possible, saw on news somewhere abroad where they have drive in testing.
        If the goverment want to get the supplies out, why not commander companies like mine?
        Id be happy to deliver medical supplies if it speeds up restrictions and gets the country back to work.

      • This whole ‘Stay at home’ message is to simply protect the NHS that all. They know if there was a massive demand due to this pandemiythe NHS would collapse.
        The underfunding but also the amount of people in this country has highlighted how badly prepared we are for this kind of thing and the NHS is out of date as is the benefits system…all based on a time when there were 10 million plus less people here.

      • I wouldn’t mind, but I still haven’t had my fucking letter from Boris!

        Fuck him.*

        * © Dick Fiddler

      • Must admit that I haven’t had one either,RTC…however I just put it down to the fact that after my letters to him I could see his point about not really being too bothered about my well-being….that and the fact that I’m a bit of a Cunt,obviously. ….whatever could the reason be in your case?…has he heard of your musical tastes and fondness for mushroom curries,perhaps?…that would undoubtedly be enough to put you on the “Fuck him” pile.

      • Drop an E, might as well, it can’t get much more surreal than this argybargy going on right now.

      • And if you scroll down to bottom of that page…
        “Will my son’s head lice save us all ?”
        No, I don’t think so, but they could well be the Liebore Party of the future…

  11. This…. ‘only one form of exercise per day’…. is really fucking up my triathlon training….

  12. Will someone please throw these clapping numpties a herring or a ball to balance on their noses FFS.

  13. My mate in that there londonistan (n22) tells me they are preparing the skating rink at Ali Pali,and no its not for skating this time. He also says groups of the yoot, congregating (egg and spoons/peacefuls) when challenged by the peelers are pulling the race card. No change there then!
    As for this clapping hysteria some who took part have been filming their neighbours houses and shaming on soshul meeja those who were not out flapping their digits. It’s exercise for em i spose. Cunts!!

  14. Nah, don’t agree.

    Every government of this festering shitheap, Earth, has had years, decades, to prepare for this inevitability. They’ve had numerous warnings from experts. They even had a lead time of a month to enact a prepared plan – the virus didn’t just spring up here but in Chyyyyna.

    Amazing how they can draft and pass the most draconian peace time legislation in mere days when the moment calls for it, but can’t stockpile masks or other items in advance.

    Why should we pay, financially and with liberty, for the utter shambolic cuntitude of our so called leaders?

    Now they want to close parks in London, the only green space and connection with reality for most innercity dwellers. Confined to your cages. Really? That is outrageous. Meanwhile these political cunts are all off in their sprawling Hampshire estates outside the pens of urban environments.

    This saga is a taste of what the elite actually want for our future. Make no mistake. Packed into cities, no travel out of your nation, working a subsistence life whilst they continue to do fuck all/protect mother shitheap.

  15. I think the least we can do is moan in this farcical situation -our voices are but dim-distant sounds unheard by the criminal elite – just stay under house arrest until we have the magic vaccine – brought to you with love and best wishes from Bill & Melinda Gates

  16. Influenza A and B (all of the different strains) kill about 650,000 per year. I say per year, but really it’s only about four months of the year as this thing tends to be seasonal – but nobody gives a shit about that! Coronavirus has got a lot of work to do to get anywhere near the death toll that Flu can manage. Coronavirus is a fucking amateur.

    • Tell the chief medical officer Rod. On second thought don’t waste your breath,the egghead won’t listen.

    • Nobody gives a fuck about A & B because there are vaccines for them. There is no vaccine for Corbyn-19, who knows what it will do in the next 18 months or so?

      • I am inclined to think that ice-rinks as temp mortuaries, along with closed airports, is a good clue… Gvnmnt heavy-handedness or not.
        The dead are NOT cardboard cut-outs, and NHS staff are sadly dropping…

  17. I think I speak for everyone when I say welcome back DtS

    James you need to change that name, you almost got nuked.

    • Sorry Admin I’m afraid I don’t catch your drift.

      Simple, “A cunt that cunts cunts” is archive admin, you are not Archive admin, so you flagged up in a bad way and were in danger of being wiped out by using the name

      • Oh, my apologies. I have tried changing it before but I can’t work out how to.

  18. Biggest issue is it’s giving a lot of stupid people a lot of time to spend looking up utterly absurd conspiracy theories about this. Shut down all social media.

    • that’s what they intend to do – you can have the BBC or the BBC – is that what you really want?

    • Great idea! Then we can be just like China. 10 social credits for you, that means you can ride a train once this month.

  21. I see CS latest incarnation flu manchu has been redacted. Who did he upset this time?

    Me. He was being cheeky.

      • Nevermind bless him!
        The cunt owes me and Rtc a fiver!
        An a cornetto!
        Fuckin trolls not paying up like gentlemen😡
        Couldnt understand a fuckin word he said?
        Sounded like hed dropped acid or something…

      • I thought it might have been me that had dropped the acid Miserable! Thing is, Lady Creampuff has an annoying habit of occasionally spiking my porridge of a morning.

      • I asked admin to let the trolls in to play Ruff,
        Thought itd be interesting but cant understand what theyre on about mostly, ramble a bit, but didnt dislike them.
        Spikes your porridge?
        She a merry prankster?
        Wasnt in the Grateful Dead was she?☺

        You did and we still have one, who is having a snooze right now, opinionated cunt chose a bad name change whilst we were having a little purge and almost got taken out with the riff raff

      • Nah, I was lying for effect Miserable, known in the trade as ‘poetic license’.

        And Lady C more into Madonna and Lilly Allen than The Dead.

        Btw, Flu /CS (or whoever) isn’t a troll, he just rubs certain cunters up the wrong way. Dog knows what mix of dangerous drugs he was on this morning to make him goad Admin in that fashion.

      • Yeah, seemed uncharacteristically aggressive didnt it?
        He has similar tastes in music to you by the sound of it.
        Dont understand why he just doesnt calm down and become a regular poster on ISAC.

      • Cornetto? Somewhere Simon Pegg’s ears just piped up…

      • 🎶
        Just one Ornette Coleman
        Give him to me
        Delicious sax riffs
        You want some Brie? 🎶

  22. From the clocks starting point on Jan 1st. Coronvirus is seriously lagging behind the Seasonal Flu for its death toll. More needs to be done. Lessons must be learned….

  23. Be aware cunters…David mammy Lammy has a book out called Tribes. Apparantly it has the answer to all our societal ills. A must read people. Ffs!

  24. Be prepared for unheard of levels of cuntishness and whinging when they get numbers of infections down and deaths stop and then tell everyone mid summer to get aaaaht and abaaaaaht.
    By September… Coronavirus is back…stay indoors etc etc.
    Go fuck yourselves.

    • Your tongue will be like a coiled spring by June B&W, all those classy ladies who would have been ahaaat and abhaaat in their summer dresses.

      • The future is bleak LL, I hope this Coronavirus realises the pleasure it’s deprived many a classy Lady.
        How are you getting on?

      • Yeah OK B&W, I’m self employed as a gardener/handyman, some people have kept me on when possible to work around restrictions which I appreciate of course, otherwise very quite considering the weather. Yourself ?

      • I’m ok thanks LL, work (Sound Engineering) has dried up and thankfully I’ve got a few quid put away.
        Not sure what the end picture is gonna look like at the end of all this.

      • Yes same B&W, always been a saver myself but do feel for people who are in the shit despite government backups, I think it will be nowhere nearly enough.

    • No way! It’s a well known cure for viruses that if you make millions unemployed and put them under house arrest they just go away. Look at small pox, polio, TB it worked fine for those.

      This “strategy” is clearly flawless. I can’t see what everyone is moaning about. I love coppers telling me that I can’t go for a walk and cunts with clipboards deciding whether or not I can buy easter eggs. Another couple of months of this and we’ll look back at a what a nice holiday we’ve had and the virus will have disappeared.

      • Careful with that level of sarcasm, might knock your social credit score a bit.

  25. People must be itching for the isolation to be over so they can get back to slumping in front of the TV playing with their phones.

    • This corona shites put more people out of work than Thatcher an the internet combined.
      Im not worried about coronavirus as much as a great depression that follows.
      Loads of businesses, pubs etc wont recover from this.
      Fuckin energy companies asked for government assistance?!
      Got told quite rightly to fuck off.
      Whats the fuckin plan Boris?
      Not got one have you?

  26. I worked it aaaaht…the Gay have started this Coronavirus.
    Everyone staying at home gives them plenty of time to sneak off to Hampstead Heath or whatever other area they can find which has plenty of tree’s etc to get up to their shenanigans.
    I bet Elton John donated that 4 million cash he stashed up his bumhole on his last visit to China’s secret laboratory.
    A lot of the Gay have masses of disposable income due to not living normal lives like the rest of us (kids, bills etc) and have all donated to this man made virus.
    Beware of the vaccine… it’ll be full of female hormones turning us proper men Gay.
    That vaccine can go fuck itself.

    • Your onto something BWC, guy who did some medical trials for it,
      Has a handbag now an shouts “yoohoo!” When he sees people.

  27. Whilst I feel very sorry for those experiencing real financial hardship through this (like the footballer cunts) being a misanthropic cunt, I quite like it. Fewer cunts in the streets dropping litter, fewer cunts on the roads, petrol is affordable, no LBGTXYZ stories to boil my piss, snowflake millenials leap out of my way like I am axe murderer. And the behaviour of the great unwashed reinforces my belief that people are generally cunts.

    And when it’s all over, there might be a reckoning because UK PLC will be strapped for cash. Why pay professional scroungers when NHS workers will definitely be deserving of pay rises?

    • Ah! Now I get it, spend trillions saving people from a virus and make millions unemployed in the process so we can cut benefits to scroungers, of which there will now be many more and give nurses a massive pay rise. Flawless logic.

  28. Truth is the lockdown can only continue for so long. The only people who want this are the extinction rebellion types.

    We go along with it for now but we’ve already even given a depression and we are all going to pay. Unless they find a vaccine or miraculous cure we are delaying the inevitable.

    I’m going along with it for now but this is not sustainable for months. Idiots taking a bbq to the beach are plainly cunts as are cyclists and motorcycle enthusiasts who think they are immune from the virus and the new rules.

    This lockdown if made more severe is going to do far more harm than good.

  29. Speaking of moaners, I see that cunt Wayne Rooney has been shooting his ugly gob off again, saying that pressure on players from government and the PL re. the issue of a pay cut is ‘a disgrace’. Our hearts bleed for you and your ilk.
    Shut the fuck up you wanker.

    • I agree Ron, but look forward to a Govt. Minister suggesting that several “business tycoons” take a pay cut…perhaps Stelios from Easyjet may care to take a cut on the 60 million Pound dividend that he received on Friday before signing his workers up for taxpayer-funded lay-offs the following Monday.

      Footballers are a deservedly easy target,in my opinion.

      • Afternoon Dick. Couldn’t agree more. I wait with bated breath to see how the likes of him, Branson and Green are going to pitch in during the current crisis. I think I’ll suffocate waiting.

    • Lineker is saying ‘why pick on footballers’ – he truly is a bbc cunt of the year

      • I can think of thousands of reasons…especially where this obnoxious jug-eared twat is concerned.

  30. Just evaded my censorious neighbours for long enough to post a comment out here…

    DtS – fine posting, but have severe reservations about the lockdown policy, which is simply buying time for the NHS to adapt to a higher-than-usual seasonal rush of respiratory cases. As the panic fades, our wonderful government will forget all over again that the NHS needs reserve capacity, and that providing it would be more cost-effective than crashing the country’s economy for months the next time a virus mutates of leaves its original host species for our lungs.

    The lockdown policy is based on the idea that only a fraction of the population is infected, and that transmission can be contained. This is not borne out by the Spanish and Italian experiences, which suggests that a large proportion of the population becomes infected very quickly and that by that stage (which we are obviously approaching here) there is fuck-all you can do about transmission.

    Sweden has adopted the latter assumption, and has not imposed a lockdown, although elementary measures to restrict transmission are in force. I’ll be interested to see how much better or worse it fares. I’ll also be interested to see the likes of Neil Ferguson (not that one) shifting his position as time goes on: the current measures are unsustainable in any case.

    Better get back inside or someone will mistake me for a conservatory contractor or a second-home migrant, both of whom appear to have unlimited freedom of movement round here.

    Cunts. Just cunts.

      • Komodo how you doing my Lizard friend? Asked abaaaaaht you yesterday.

      • B&WC, doing fine, many thanks for asking. Positives: gave up smoking : negatives, consequent filthy mood, but now recovering. Have emerged from under rock to enjoy the sun.
        And I hope you are also in good condition, sir.

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