Tellyland in a Time of Pestilence

Posted on by

Tellyland in a Time of Pestilence

What did Sting sing? ‘I’ve lost my belief of the people on TV’. Same here. All the mystique has been stripped away. There they are all cooped up in their homes, not at some studio desk or outside some important building. No, at home their talking faces filling the whole screen – some looking rather dishevelled I’ve got to say. I am thinking Stig Abel the editor of the TLS no less; bearded, bleary-eyed, in an old shirt, Stig of the Dump more like. And Laura has lost her lustre somehow. She’s looking unkempt with her hair dank her clothes looking unironed. Everyone’s looking rough. People are becoming not bothered about their apperarance. When appearance was everything. Andrew Pearce who had a bad bout of C19 was looking particularly rough a few times. A little better last night. And they’re all (the commentators) getting a bit short with their answers/ responses too. I noticed. Mathew Parris (paper review Sky) gave short 30 second answers. You could tell he was irritable. Sick to death of the whole thing. Sick to death of the confinement, sick to death of the subject of Covid,. The poor ‘chattering classes’ are suffering like the rest of us cunters. Because even though they’re got their huge shelves of books behind them to show how educated they are they are feeling the strain of confinement, they’re suffering the same chronic boredom. Poor things.

Nominated by Miles Plastic

84 thoughts on “Tellyland in a Time of Pestilence”

  1. I’ve also noticed it show how “wank” the internet broadband connections are in this country. Considering the cost of some of them, they need to be cunted big time.
    It’s like watching a Norman Collier routine half the time.

    • Spot on. Now in Sqirrel Service, training as DKW (we DO love our acronyms in the Service!!), after 14h30 is very iffy.
      Any serious thoughts of extending home working are a total joke, unless gvnmnt pulls its finger out, and we get a TERA-IT highway.
      Currently, is like two cocoa tins joined by taught string…

  2. Sam Smith. Don’t know really know who he is but he’s apparently some singing cunt who doesn’t like being called he or she but wants to be called they, the mental cunt. Anyway this soppy nancyboy pooftah was moaning about his social isolation on soshul meejah with a picture of him sitting on his doorstep, wearing pjs and weeping like a girl. Fucking hell, the usual libtard crowd have only turned on him, ripping the piss out of the attention seeking crying little cunt.
    So now the gay boy has changed his mind claiming it was all a joke and just some kind of irony. Fuck off wanker…….you’ve been sussed.
    Saint Greta next I hope.

    • Thank god there isn’t a war on. If we end up having one with the Chinese, send this cunt over the top first.

  3. Mm, not so sure they are Miles.
    I suspect theyre going places, second homes etc.
    And they have big houses and large gardens,
    Not in a one bedroom flat in Nelson Mandela house.
    Stig Able always dresses casual its his way of saying “Im not a posh boy who had a nanny!
    Im a socialist man of the people!”
    And that beard?
    Womans beard that.
    My beard would take its dinner money off it.

    • My appearance is that of a derro Viking and like myself you probably enjoyed people avoiding you in public especially fobs, more so now because of the Pangolin plague though I have the opposite effect on dogs, happy times.

      • Morning Shackles,
        Yeah dogs, cats, and old ladies like me, the rest shun me, happy with that.
        Any talk of a vaccine in Oz Shackle?
        They’re scaling up here for 2 that havent yet been trialed.
        Hopefully ones a winner and start manufacturing it.

      • I’ve stopped watching the news MNC Nothing but plague stories and long boring speeches from old boring politicians about what we should do or not do, especially Paluczuk,the fugly hambeast.and Berojiklian, Pee Wee Herman’s twin sister.

      • Same here in Blighty. The news bores the shit out of you. It was brexit now it’s the fuckin chinky pox.

  4. I’m not too bothered how dishevelled they look just as long as Steph McGovern doesn’t decide to “cheer up the nation” by getting her kit off.

    Where the Fuck is B+WC? It’s to be hoped that some gangmaster hasn’t pressganged him to work in the fields.
    *****************
    “150 Romanians have been flown into the country to harvest crops because Brits won’t do the work.

    The 3 million hard – working Eastern Europeans who settled here must have left when we weren’t looking.”

    C/O …Sickipedia.

    • I suspect B&W IS one of the gang masters pressganging other cunts to work in the fields. He probably pays the poor Eastern European pikeys with jizz stained porno mags from his vast collection. What a cunt.

    • I hope he hasn’t caught the Corona from tonguing some young ladies bum! It’s not a statistic i’ve seen on the Govt’s daily update slides, could it be that he is the first?

      • Interestingly, I learned during a H&S conference call yesterday that is not transmitted through faecal matter per se. However, some dirty bitch might have been spreading her fucking arse cheeks whilst on all fours with the virus on her fingers then easily transferred it to her stinking shithole for an innocent
        analinguist like B&WC to tongue out. Just a thought like.

  5. To hear radio at it’s shitiest – a real up to dat case of the Emperors new clothes listen to Wireless 4 on Fridays ar 1830 or Saturdays at 1230 to hear those banal offerings News Quiz and Now Show. Bereft of the sheeple in the audience applauding and cheering the bullshit of left wing “comedians”, or “commentators” is to understand the absolute shite that comes out of their mouths.

    I am watching little TV, but it’s a tenner to a Vera Lynn 78 that Dame Kweer and Anthony Blair are still wearing a great dollop of make-up even if they televise from their own homes. Poofs.

    • Very true WC about the sycophantic audience whooping and clapping every banal utterance of the slebs. Mrs K watches Graham Norton, even claims to enjoy the show, and even she said how shit it was with the participants yakking via video link, as the cunts had no one to play up to and therefore were completely bereft of anything interesting to say. Probably sums the useless fuckers up, needing validation of every fucking word they speak.

      • What we need is a night of Bernard Manning on the BBC. At least he was funny unlike the twats of today.

    • Mawkish sentiments abound, have reached a McGonagalesque level of doggerel…
      Stiff upper lip has given way to trembling Essex-chav botox.
      Fraser’s “We’re doomed!” is more cheery than the ITV News.
      I KNOW it’s tough when your loved ones die, but if they’d clocked up a hundred, they were probably quite happy to go off to a better place in any case.
      These televisual blubbathons are doing my Swede in. I am worried that when EU mandarins start dropping off their perches, there won’t be enough sauce to celebrate!!

  6. When i was trying to leverage a much needed gobble off Mrs Daz last night, Have I got News for You was on. Plain fucking odd watching 5 heads (me getting none) on 5 TV screens talking on my TV screen. Amazing how unfunny that shit is with no canned laughter.

    • I believe they do have genuine audiences Daz – I know News Quiz and Now Show is often recorded at lunchimes on Fridays – so they are obviously lazy lonely bastards with no work to go to (in normal times) and they are so grateful for a free ticket and a warm studio to scratch themselves in for an hour they are prepared to bebase themselves. The sort of people who write “you OK hun?” and “haters gonna hate” on their Twatter feeds, dreaming they are back in the playground licking the boots of the school prefect and favourite teachers.

      • WCB ahhh I see – so there are people that actually find Ian Hislop amusing. I thought it was canned but now i think about it he does cock his pug head and pull a puzzled face every time he speaks. This must be some command to audience to laugh…

      • I am not sure about TV Daz – I know the radio have audiences: terrible confession – my son at one time worked for the organisation that supplied tickets to studio audiences, including some BBC shows (and some right little self-entitled wankers some of the ticket holders were according to Mark, “reserving” (free) seats for their friends who couldn’t be bothered to turn up early, usually in the front row.

        I know there is quite a business in companies offering this sort of service, since the BBCs “internal market” nonsense, so I assume thetre are some humans prepared to act like tame monkeys.

        Mrs. Boggs didn’t want our son in the Navy, I am not sure the BBC is any better 🙁

      • WCB Navy eh? I managed to pack my eldest boy off in the Royal Marines and hoping the other little shit goes on a submarine in 3 or 4 years.

      • Worse than “haters gonna hate” is “gunna” hate.

        Unless the latter is a well tooled-up military gent, pref a sniper with a moskrat in his sights.

        There is much to hate out there…

  7. Along with that touchy Cristina Patterson woman, Stig Abell is the most insufferable cunt on Sly news press preview.
    Look at me, i’m in an old t shirt with a scruffy beard, just like the ‘workers’.
    Fuck off you posh metropolitan wanker.

    • Is this the Christina Patterson whose Twatter handle is ‘@queenchristina’? Presumably, ‘@cuntchristina’ must’ve already been taken or surely she would have used it.

      • Patterson is just one more self righteous lefty but then again is there a single lefty that isn’t a holier than thou cunt?

  8. Still getting paid are they not? The Steph show? Fuck off! Day time TV? Got to laugh, the BBC the least financially impacted media organisation in the country still pumping out repeats all day everyday.

  9. I’m heartened that the these cunts appear to have so little fortitude despite being so wealthy.
    Perhaps they could fall.on their swords.
    Literally.
    The soppy fuckers.

      • At first I thought well done fella – genuine act of kindness. Now i’m looking and thinking why would you get up and put on your old medals from 65 years ago to walk around the garden. Newsworthy at the time no doubt and if he don’t croak before his 100th birthday, but I’m sick of hearing about him now. Then there is the “Clap for Captain Tom”…We had another one round by us “Thumbs up for Posties” for the postal service…what next “Wanker Gestures at Lorry Drivers”….like we’ve been doing for 25 years.

      • Yeah, nothing against this old geezer but I am sick to death of the media using him as a stick to beat us with. A couple of weeks ago he was a fucking old, Brexit voting old cunt who needs to die soon. Now he’s a much loved war hero so get your hands in your pockets and pay for the NHS you already paid for you cunts. After all sorts of cunts have dipped their hands in and taken their share obviously. Fuck off with this charity bollocks. And get the immos to pay for the free resources they are using up. Cunts.

      • Precisely. And the old cunt should withhold all monies from the NHS until they agree to stop wasting millions funding cunts’ lifestyle choices and foreign freeloaders, etc. Profligate fucks.

      • When she gets to 500 metres she’ll have to shoot the ponies and eat the huskies. Then a diversion to the loo “I may be gone some time”.

      • Morning Sergeant Major.
        Although the Captain has done a great job, I fear the money raised will go the same way as that donated to the Grenfell Tower appeal. Into thin air!

    • That is fucking nauseating. There are some cunts who love themselves so much they have no social awareness whatsoever. Truly shameless.

    • I can’t see Ricky Gervais contributing to this fuckwit-fest with a straight bat

  11. HIGNFY was mentioned above. Tired, smug, elbow nudging shite. However I watched it last night – Victoria Coren was on and she gives me the horn.
    I didn’t think it could get any worse but fuck me. And any, ahem, benefit from watching Victoria was completely cancelled out by the close ups of the fucking horrendous Deborah Meaden.
    There was also a cunt called Phil Wang or something. What a totally wit-free cunt. All topped off with Hislop looking like something out of the Hobbit and the perennially unfunny Merton.
    Shite.

    • Wang is part of BBC effnik comedy innit?. Australian lesbians, Asian lesbians, middle eastern poofs a dark key had a series not long ago and he wouldn’t recognise humour if it kicked him in the balls. A bit like Parliament is the BBC – wimmin and ethnics first. If you are a white male you had to be an iron.

    • I hate that owl looking cunt Merton!
      Hes his own biggest fan.
      Just because your funny looking doesnt make you funny, hes got a thing for Hawaiian type shirts as well the degenerate fuck.

      • Remember him trying to recreate some of Tony Hancock’s clasic shows?
        I hope the ghost of Anthony Aloysius haunts his dreams forever.
        Pudgy smug cunt…

    • Coren’s a right Filthy splosher, and gives me the ‘orn, too. As does Bryony Gordon, the Telerag’ s self-confessed office bike. That girl is bonkers, and OBSESSESED with ginger-nut, but I’d still poke her.

  12. Who would waste time watching these cunts anyway? Life’s too short, especially now.

    Top Tip: Watch re-runs of Judge Judy or Talking Pictures TV (freeview channel 81) instead. Or channel 24 (Professionals, Sweeney), or Channel 11 ( UK Border Force, Nothing To Declare, Shifty Foreigners Getting Their Cunts Kicked Attempting to Import Their Filthy Diseases).

    Failing that you could always switch the fucker off and read a book.

    • Professionals, Sweeney and Porridge. And re-runs of Wheeler Dealers. Fuck knows why these prime programs need to be screened so fucking late at night.

      • New Tricks is a good go-to; decent actors, and depending on series, either Redman or Outhwaite, who are both easy-pleasey on the jap’s eye.

        Normally, I’d label Escape to the Cuntry and A Place in the Snu as utter dreck, but the latter is good for blonde norks, and overall a good laugh, as some fat old munter comes along…”A tasteful pwoperty in a posh area, 9 beds, 3 receptions, swimming pool, 50 acres for the equines, and change out of 5 guineas…”
        And, at the moment, it’s a chance to travel without meeting some of the dodgy looking locals, while I’m stuck in my 8 x 10 bedroom/rat-hole, with home office six inches away.
        ISAC keeps me sane.

  14. Can we also include James O’Brien of LBC – a narrow minded vindictive virtue signalling moron.

    • They won’t let O’Shithead on the telly anymore. He’s too much of a cunt even for the BBC.

      • He was on HIGNFY once. Barely said a word, looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights. Couldn’t handle being out of his highly controlled LBC comfort zone.

  15. Miles, reading this makes me feel like I’m standing on a cliff looking over a grey ocean with storm clouds slinging freezing sleet into my face. Ahh well, at least I’m out of the fucking house

    • 3strokes thats the holiday I’d choose if read your post as the description.
      Bracing weather?✔

      • 🎶
        I’m only happy when it rains
        I only smile in the dark
        Pour your misery down on me 🎶

        😎 Morning Miserable.

      • Morning Ruff.
        I actually do like that song!
        Hate hot weather its not for us, its unpatriotic.
        Grey skies, groundfrost, thats the stuff.
        You winning Ruff?👍

      • I love that song too. Had Garbage 1st album on the Walkman yesterday while taking my afternoon constitutional in the park, immediately thought of you. ❤️

      • MNC me too after months in the tropics I look forward to feeling cold again. Even better with skis on my feet or a rod in my hand!

      • I bet!
        Must have a bit of Eskimo in my family tree, colder the better for me!

  16. I watch Documenting Reality quite a bit. Some of it is extremely graphic, but there’s nothing like watching a Cartel guy being dismembered whilst alive (arms/legs then head) to put things into perspective.

    Certainly makes my problems feel like piss in the wind…

  17. For the petrol heads out there you have Car SOS and Fantom Works. A few years ago I had the opportunity to work with Fuzz Townsend and the team (Car SOS), trialling some new welders.

    Fuzz and the boys are a great team, very friendly and knowledgeable. Practical Classics mag is a monthly mood lifter for me.

  18. Can I just tell ALL celebrities to FUCK OFF – they should be spending their time picking fruit and veg down at the farm – bastards

  19. What we need is for me to be given the job as the Head of BBC programming during this pandemic. This is how day one would go:

    ”Right. You’re all fired. Lineker, grab your crisps and fuck off out the door. Mind your ears on the way out. Rest of you cunts? You’re only here because ‘wimmins’, the gayness and ‘diversity’. From now, I’m employing only on merit. Is that ooooooooooooooooo kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk with you, Lenny? No? Couldn’t give a fuck. Right. From now, no presenters with regional accents or fucking burkas on. Suits and bow ties from now. Received pronunciation. Even for the sports. Bring back Barry ‘Oh, I say’ Davies and that David Coleman cunt. He’s dead? get me someone like that, please. Ok then, let’s move on to tomorrow’s line up.”

    All old shows unedited from their original state.

    6:00 a.m. Breakfast time with Roy Chubby Brown, Jim Davidson and Roland Rat.
    9:00 a.m. Schools for kids. None of that lefty tranny shite too. In face, tomorrow morning we’ll be unbrainwashing the poor little cunts and get them to think for themselves, nit what their lefty teachers tell them to think. It will include and hour titled, ‘Why Greta is a fraud.’
    10: 30 a.m. Film: Kes
    12:00 p.m. Love thy Neighbour (all of series 1)
    3.00 p.m. The World at War series 1 episode 1
    4.00 p.m. Rising Damp
    4.30 p.m. Only Fools and Horses
    5:00 p.m. Bottom
    5:30 p.m. Panorama: The search for a cure..for the gayness
    6:00 p.m. The News with some posh twat in a bow tie.
    6.30 p.m. Test Match Special:The full day’s play from day one of the first test of a prior Ashes series. I like cricket so fuck all you, you cunts. It’s my station now.
    2. 00 a.m. Film: Goodfellas
    4:30 a.m. Breaking Bad, episode 1 series 1.
    5: 20 a.m. Some porn (no gays)

Comments are closed.