Amazon (3)

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Amazon

This behemoth keeps piling billions into the bank account of its mega cunt owner who sounds and looks like something from the muppets. Obviously not content with being the richest cunt on the planet this megalomaniac runs sweat shops across the globe with full in tax evasion tax haven measures in place. Obviously he knows he has to pay lip service to being a philanthropist and that is what he does on the understanding those muggy enough to believe he’s really a humanitarian underneath it all believe it. Please please can someone somewhere create a British equivalent to compete wouldn’t be half as bad if we had a cunt of our own answerable to the once great British public. In the meantime my fellow sheep I need to place an Amazon order because it’s all too fucking easy and convenient at the moment…..his wealth has gone up around $400 billion. At this rate he will buy UK Plc and own us all. Mega Cunt

Nominated by RJ Cuntingham

113 thoughts on “Amazon (3)”

  1. Dont ever buy anything off Amazon, nothing for me on there.
    Daughter does.
    And not buying on ebay if I can help it, its all chinese shite.
    Dont know who the owner is, cant be arsed googling it, but he can get fucked not having my money.

    • Same here MNC, none of my money is lining the cunts pockets but unfortunately I have to use Evilbay to find old bike parts. Just how much money does one cunt need anyway? If I leave this planet with a fiver in me pocket and I don’t owe it to any fucker then I’ll die a happy man.

    • Jeff Bezos owns Amazon, and a bigger c*nt has never walked the Earth.
      Amazon are the most unbelievable b*stards – slavery would not be too strong a word for the way they treat their employees, and as Jeff is now a (get this) Trillionaire and the richest Man in the World he obviously pays f*ck all tax on his dodgy UK operations – leaves all that nonsense to his National Minimum Wage employees.
      Nile and Mississippi are also dreadful! 😀

      • Foxy, I was going to say about it being the biggest river etc, then saw the Nile pipped it!
        Sure it was Amazon when I was at school?
        Oh well, dont really care, only rivers Im likely too see are the goyt the tame, the Styx and the Babylon.

      • My knowledge of rivers is sketchy MNC – my first thought is always “any sharks, piranha, crocodiles or alligators in this bugger”?
        If the answer is no then in all probability the river is located in a civilised Country!

      • Can’t be bothered to look it up but I believe the Nile is the longest but the Amazon has the greatest volume of water. Or something like that.

      • Basic geography that Miserable. If you think the Amazon is the longest, then you’re obviously in de – nile of the truth.

      • Evening Bertie, my dad is older than me which is sometimes the case,
        He said he was taught at school the longest river was the Mississippi.
        It changes every other week.
        I think its the Mersey.

    • Dame Sauron, my dear Mother, in her 70’s & the ‘vulnerable category’ has been isolated for the last 7 weeks, and I suspect, will need to remain so for the rest of this year.

      She has 2 main pleasures in life, that keep her occupied and stop her going stir crazy ; reading paperback fiction and knitting.
      Her main source of supply while at home – Amazon.

      The greedy bastards have doubled the cost of paperback books & balls of wool. I could buy crack coccaine cheaper ! . . . . CUNTS

      • Lord of the Rings, have you tried that Music Magpie website? They sell books as well as DVDs, games etc. Free delivery. I buy books from there. I recommend.
        🙂 I haven’t got round to selling on there, though.

        P.s recently I’ve noticed you can sell odd bits of Lego. I think they go by weight.

      • ‘Dirt’ being the operative word RTC.
        I wouldn’t fancy handling any of your jizz stained books from eBay.
        😀

      • Funny you should mention that Bertie. I currently have a book about Trotsky up for sale on eBay with the pages stuck together. ☺️

        Spooky…

      • Morning, Ruffy, Bertie. How goes it? I hope all is well.
        I’ve not used eBay in years. I might give them a look.

        Bertie, has your Percy come back yet? If not, what have you tried so far to get him to return.

      • P.s when I were a lad, I was the same with the lingerie pages of home shopping catalogues all those years ago. *Runs away*

      • I’m afraid not Spoons. I’ve informed the police that he’s missing but they can’t do anything about it unless he commits any hate crimes in the street. I’ve even given them Miserable’s address and told them I think it could be connected with Miserable running an illegal pie factory from his home.
        😀

  2. I’m a fucking hypocrite… I moan about the death of the high street shops while buying stuff a off Amazon because it’s cheaper.

    • #MeToo Fenton. More convenient too.

      That said, majority of my online transactions have been on eBay, both as a buyer and a seller, mostly CDs, vintage vinyl, DVDs and books. Currently boast 100% positive feedback on 2456 transactions. 👏

      Don’t buy much from Amazon nowadays, last thing I bought on there was ‘Woke: A Guide To Social Justice’ 😂

    • Ah fuck the high street. All it needs is a baker, butcher, boozer, tailor, blacksmith/novelty key shop, grocer, and post office. Everything else is superfluous bullshit not worth conserving.

      Which is what Amazon is for. I think Amazon as an idea is great. Makes it easy to find anything and everything, gives obscure vendors visibility to the whole world. An online market place. No need to waste a day shuffling around a shopping centre with all the other stanky disgusting fat bodies.

      It’s just run by an absolutely greedy slaphead shyster cunt. If he wasn’t such a shiny dickhead then it would be alright really.

  3. What’s his name? Jeff Pissflaps or something. Reputedly the richest cunt in the world. Fuck him. Never bought a thing from Amazon. Tax dodging cunts.

    • Its that Jeff Bezos bloke just googled him, looks like a budget dildo the little bald fuck.
      Weighs about 6stone with his boots on.
      Well fuck him, sounds foreign.

  4. Amazon, Google and Facebook don’t see people, they see profit, they want to have monopolies and rape us all for eternity.

    • The filthy bastards!
      Id scream the house down if they tried raping me!!

      • And if they had any common Human decency they would buy me a drink first!
        Romance is dead 😢

      • Unhand me Bezos you rough monster!
        You can ravish me but I’ll never love you!☺

      • They can take everything but our dignity!
        Actually, dignity is surgically removed at the Amazon interview.
        Wait while my online auction site is up and running – just need to get Pwincess Harry to model some of my SSpecialist military uniforms..😀👍

      • His ex wife got a 38 billion dollar divorce settlement MNC, put this dress on.

      • Lace me up at the back Sixdog!!😌
        Thats a absolutely disgusting amount isnt it?
        In what way would you need that?
        Hope they fuckin di..
        Sorry, hope they stay safe, keep social distancing.😠

  6. Welcome to the future, we all too busy apparently to get off our arses and go into a shop and try clothes on before buying…nah better to order a load of shite, get it delivered try it on, keep one or two things and get the rest picked up again by courier.
    Apparently Amazon sell food now as well, the simple fact is we don’t give a shit abaaaaaht the shops in the high street and the shopping experience. As long as it’s cheaper we buy it and don’t give a fuck if the company pays tax here or not.
    Amazon like Facebook aren’t the cunts, it’s the people that use it that are… I’ll be browsing Amazon prime video later looking for a film to watch.
    Go fuck yourselves.

    • Its alright for you Bwc swanning about swinging London in yer aqualung suits and fancy togs,
      Shop assistants thing your a community leader or a grime artist or something.
      I go in a shop they follow me round the cheeky cunts!
      Can see it on their face,
      “Gyppo” “oh my god! A big gyppo’..☺

      • You’ve reminded me MNC… I have an unworn Aquascutum suit I’ve yet to wear. 😁

      • Hope its too tight on you and you look like a Bw version of Norman Wisdom you peacock.😁👍

      • Are Aquascrotum still around?

        Always thought they were a bit cheesy and overpriced when you can get a tailored suit for the same money.

    • I never buy clothes or food online, unless you count Sainsbury’s home delivery, which comes from the local supermarket anyway.

      Only buy stuff online I can’t find in local shops. Get most of the wife’s clothes from charity shops, so like to think I’m doing my bit for the High Street.

      That said, I need a new pair of shoes and all the shoe shops are shut, cunts. What is a poor boy to do?

    • I do a lot of selling on Ebay, not because I like the thieving rodents but as a business seller it gives access to a massive UK market.
      Head offices in Ireland and Luxembourg for tax and legislative avoidance – and shall we say Rob Hattrell the CEO of Ebay UK “knows me well” as I have a tendency to email the little prick with complaints about their shifty practices and CC it to the offices of the Prime Minister (for example allowing fraudsters to operate freely, it is costing me a fortune issuing legal action against the fried chiggun loving b*tch who falsely accused me of selling counterfeit goods to steal a Thousand Pound Fendi bag).
      They are all as bad as each other, and in other random news I received a delivery today of a room full of Ikea candles from an Ebay wholesale trading partner – after checking they weren’t made in locust land – the yellow peril ain’t seeing any of my money.

      • That’s interesting, I’m currently undergoing an extensive haranguing of those chimps on eBay for having the audacity to remove negative feedback i left to a chiseling parking stanley spiv who sent me the wrong shite and then blamed me for it.
        The usual blah blah blah via three different stooges of varying nationality and degrees of bullshit got me nowhere.
        So, Rob Hattrell is it? I’ll take a look, currently they’ve knocked back my case with Resolver, I’m looking to go trading standards next but I’m waiting to see if PayPal will refund me.
        This cunt is in Manchester, he should hope I’m not when lockdown finishes.
        His company records state he’s got about 500 quid in assets. Sure.

  7. I get loads of stuff off Amazon. I don’t like shopping and find it far easier to just get stuff off Amazon. There is a massive choice of products and they’re delivered to the door….suits me just fine.

    • Evening Dick. You’re a man after my own heart.

      Not in a gay way, you understand. 😀

      • Evening RTC…………the way I look at it is that I’d have to drive miles then push and shove through crowds of Cunts to look at a far more limit selection of goods… why bother? Easier to just pick out what I want and get it delivered to the door. If I actually went shopping and added in my fuel to drive to Newcastle or Carlisle (nearest “big” places) it’d probably be dearer anyhow.

    • The only high street shopping I do is food and charity shops DF, got a Thousand Pound pair of Bowers and Wilkins loudspeakers for fifty quid from one last Year – winner!
      It is the only time I contribute to charity, if those whining Third World types want money they can get a job in an Amazon warehouse!
      Lazy good for nothings.

      • Aye,Vernon….my nearest food shop is a Co-op 8 miles away but I tend not to use them….greedy Cunts…prefer to drive the 30 odd miles to town once every 2-3 weeks and do a big shop.

        I too occasionally look into charity shops…there’s one that clears houses of the furniture and stuff that the family don’t want when someone croaks. I got an excellent old oak table for a few quid a couple of years ago…really pleased with it.

    • Evening Dick, completely agree. Amazon is ace. I spend a lot without any problems. On the few occasions that anything goes wrong, refunds are given without any hassle. If there is a defect with the product, you’re very often asked to not even bother returning it.
      This guy soon realised that good customer service is the key, unlike many of the cunting shops in this country.

      • Evening Bertie.

        I’ve only once had any trouble and that was with some felling wedges that I complained hadn’t been delivered….they sent another set….few days later I found the parcel of original ones in one of the sheds….I didn’t bother telling them.

      • Exactly Dick. Where the hell would you buy felling wedges on the high street?
        By the way, what the fuck are felling wedges? 😀
        I would guess that you drive them into the ground to control the direction that you want to take a tree down?

      • Na…you knock them in the backcut to stop the saw nipping and to help tip it over…bet that explanation really helped eh

        🙂 .

      • I’ve said it before Dick, IsAC is one of the most educational sites around! I learn something new every day!
        😀

      • PS. Parents who are home tutoring could do no worse than coming on to IsAC to give their kids a basic grounding in real life!
        😂

  8. I find Amazon too expensive. If you shop around on-line you will find a better deal 90% of the time.

    • A few months ago I started also doing a general search online for stuff I was after and it’s proving worthwhile. A couple of weeks ago I put a book in my wish list on Amazon, about £4 used, but free delivery over a £20 spend. When I went to buy it yesterday the fucker had gone up to £8 so I did a search and found it for £2.69, free delivery and no minimum spend. This sort of thing is becoming normal to me now and I realised I’d become far too blase about Amazon and often never looked anywhere else, except eBay sometimes.

  9. I must admit that I use Amazon, I don’t buy on a regular basis but like many others it is useful for stuff that isn’t readily available in shops (or I can’t be bothered looking).

    Up to now everything has arrived in good condition and works so I can’t complain, the fucking advert does piss me off with the ‘tour’ and comments from the ‘workers’

    • The workers who had to be threatened/offered a bonus to appear in the advert – but nothing on there about employees not being allowed to get a drink or go to the toilet, being screamed and shouted at by a dooshka team leader, having to p*ss against a wall or packing bench, giving birth in a toilet, passing out due to heat exhaustion and dehydration, waiting 30 unpaid minutes at the end of every shift to go through security checks, being docked an hours pay for clocking on 2 minutes late and having facebook/twitter accounts monitored by a backroom team who get people sacked and frogmarched off the premises if any negative comments are “perceived”. (and you don’t get much time to eat any cakes!). It will come to a point where we are all working for slave drivers like Amazon, ordering things online then going to work to pack them for ourselves!
      Autofac.

      • Putting your hand up to go the toilet.
        Disciplinary hearing for going to see your mum on her deathbed in hospital.
        Those employees in the adverts will be brown noses and grassing cunts.

      • I used to work (briefly, hated it) for Clipper who do the same type of work, they work on fear, bullying, racism and victimisation.
        And the ones who always get on the best are the arselicking grasses and bullies, with a foreign sounding surname and loose knickers a guaranteed route to promotion.
        “WHERE YOU GO – IS NOT YOUR BREAK”!
        “TOILET”
        “YOU CANNOT GO”
        “FUCKING STOP ME”.
        Is what I used to do – I will never be told by ANYONE when I am allowed to relieve myself.

      • I was lucky I guess throughout my working life, never had a fucking foreign cunt as my boss, I don’t think I would have reacted very well if some Dooshka started shouting at me, I think “fuck off back to where you came from” would have been the reply.

      • I have worked for the chinks, Bangladeshis and Polaks.
        All b*stards, but not keen on being nutted! 👍😀
        Best people I ever worked with were the hells angels.

      • I spent a few weeks working for Amazon. Some of what you say was true and, although I never saw the worst of the rest, I have read about it. The people I worked with were all either black or Bulgarian, and some of the girls/women were gorgeous.

  10. Most people who sell on amazon also have an eBay account, sell the same stuff on there, and it’s generally cheaper as they don’t get raped as much with the fees as on amazon. So, find what you want on amazon, then eBay it. Same shop, same product, but cheaper. And that bald megalomaniac cunt doesn’t get your pennies for doing fuck all.

  11. Just like the T’internet, I couldn’t live/operate without Amazon. Order a ton of stuff I need just before I fly home, and it’s all waiting with a good neighbor when I arrive! Beats getting into a bidding war on eBay and is often cheaper than buying direct from OEM! Don’t know much about the creator/owner other than he’s just paid out the biggest divorce settlement in history!

  12. Nothing better than strutting around Westfield white city… With a wad of cash… Aquascutum, Lacoste, and House of Fraser (before that fat cunt Ashley took it over and turned into a massive Sports Direct) or Oxford Street.
    Now it’s all shut what a cunt.
    To be honest I have enough clothes (a lot unworn) to last me until 2024.
    Go fuck yourselves.

  13. I have actually done ok aaaaht of Amazon…I once complained abaaaaaht some cheap item not arriving and due to my communication skills they compensated me £40. Sometimes the deliveries are left on the roof terrace (unsigned for) in my exclusive mews…I pick them up then tell Amazon I haven’t got my item and that I know naffink abaaaaaht it.
    I then get a second replacement or a refund, Amazon can easily afford it and I think of it as me collecting tax on behalf of the Government.
    You’ve got to be a cunt to get rich.
    Go fuck yourselves. 😁

    • BWC@
      Did a clearance for a solicitor, was covered in dust, grime etc
      Went in a jewellers for a present for missus birthday, security guard stood right behind me looking nervous,
      Dead fit girl on counter, but full of herself like,
      I asked for the new charms for those bracelets?
      She said “those are quite expensive” cheeky mare,
      I pulled out a roll of notes you could choke a horse with, said “will I have enough?”
      Hehe! Her fuckin face was a picture!
      Cunt probably makes minimum wage!☺☺

      • I know what you mean MNC, I went into Gucci on Sloane Street once and the mostly Gay staff were eyeing me up seeing if I was worthy of shopping there. I left after a few minutes, most of the cunts working in these shops can’t afford the stuff they are selling.

      • They do indeed Dick, and its a daft thing to do.
        When I was young we used to go a farm in Staffordshire, near Alton Towers, an the old dear who owned it was always in workclothes, my mum cut her hair for her, my dad made me chop wood for her etc
        She owned half of fuckin Staffordshire it turned out!
        All the nearby farms where her tenants.
        To look at her? Dirt poor.
        Never judge a book by its cover.

      • Did some security work for DKNY in Manchester once, had to spot check the staff who didnt know I was coming, got this young bird scared to death, when I searched her bag found a silk tie shed nicked, poor little fucker was on verge of tears, it was probably for her dad or something,
        Put it back in her bag said “clear”.
        She looked relieved to say the least.

      • MNC I’d of told her to suck me off in the changing rooms or I’m calling old bill. 😂

  14. If anybody’s interested, read ‘The Store’ by James Patterson. It’s a novel but I think you’ll find it oddly familiar.

      • Imagine a future of unparalleled convenience. A powerful retailer, The Store, can deliver anything to your door, anticipating the needs and desires you didn’t even know you had.

        Most people are fine with that, but not Jacob and Megan Brandeis. New York writers whose livelihood is on the brink of extinction, Jacob and Megan are going undercover to dig up The Store’s secrets in a book that could change the entire American way of life. But after a series of unsettling discoveries, Jacob and Megan’s worst fears about The Store seem like just the beginning.

        Harbouring a secret that could get him killed, Jacob has to find a way to escape The Store’s watchful eye and publish his expose – before the truth dies with him.

        The Store doesn’t just want your money Miserable – it wants your soul….

      • Or violence!
        Shagging and violence.
        To be honest dont read books unless it has pictures in it.

      • My best mate liked them Ruff.
        To be honest I like historical books, last book I read was about the Hatfield & mcCoys feud, hillbilly families.
        Liked Jack London as a kid and Alan Garner but nowadays dont read much.
        Shame really.
        Got all my old books in the loft.

  15. We dont use any service like Amazon. We don’t bother the outside world, we don’t want it bothering us.
    You would not understand us, our customs, our ways.
    This is a decent town with a local shop….

    • It’s not Helllesdon, is it, where some bloke dressed up as a middle-ages plague doctor ?

      I bet Lord Fiddler has that costume…scare the bejasus out of the local kiddies…

  16. Currently watching a programme abaaaaaht cocaine and it’s effects etc. They have four coke heads from over Britain and what do they do send the cunts to Colombia and let them get pissed up.
    That a good idea. Lol 😂

  17. Totally off-topic, and with grobelling apologies, but I just saw a “news” headline “Machete-wielding gangs take control to encorce covid lockdown.”

    Aye aye, thought I . It’s all kicking off in Streatham…again. Oddly, it was El Salvador.

  18. I like shopping on the internet because of the convenience of not having to worry about busy shops full of people and the hassle of navigating around them.
    I like the convenience of typing in what I want and usually finding it, all the while being comfortable indoors.

    I buy food in a shop or supermarket, and sometimes buy clothes and books from charity shop.
    But everything else is usually bought online.
    Amazon website is good for books and other things.

    Music Magpie website is good for books as well.

    • Afternoon Spoons. Did you ever get any advice about joining a union? Isn’t USDAW the main shop one? Unless you work a lot of hours, I imagine the fees would be a bit expensive?

      • Afternoon, Bertie. I’ve not joined a union yet but I am still looking into it. Indeed, Usdaw are for shops. I need a proper sit down and work out the cost of fees.
        I think that is the deciding factor.

        I know there are other unions.

        How are you? Bought anything off Amazon lately? 🙂

      • Use them a lot Spoons. I get free delivery with Prime which the family usually buy as a subscription present.

      • Bertie, I took that Prime thing so I could watch that series Star Trek Picard. I watched up to episode 1 and 2 then stopped. It’s terrible. I cancelled Prime before the free trial ran out.

        I quite liked the Prime for the quick and free delivery, though.

    • I use Music Magpie a lot, Spoons. Local HMV classical section ok IF they have what you want. Don’t think of ordering, you’ll have to hold some useless snowflake’s hand, spell EVERYTHING out in words of one syllable… (in Cardiff, supposedly a musical place in a musical country).
      I’ve also noticed that high-street assistants almost seem to want to push their on-line businesses; so much stuff is NOT stocked in branches. If it’s there, I’ll buy it, but otherwise, especially for books and CDs, also some old LPs, it’s the net. Along with the brilliant ISAC, and smut, it’s by far the best thing. High street mostly for food shopping now. Even when I went to the brand-new Foyle’s Bookshop in London some years back, for some sheet music, they hadn’t got what I wanted, and whereas the old place (a terrible fire hazard; when it was vacant, and being redeveloped, they even found an old lift shaft that had been boarded up…the plaze was ram-jam full; if you were willing to grovel round on hands and knees, or spend hours up rickety old stepladders, you could find anything.), at least the staff were really expert, at the new place, it was “If it ain’t on the shelves, we ain’t got it.” Christina F, old battleaxe that she was, would be spinning in her grave.

      • HBelindaHubbard, cor! How times have changed. I wonder if there was anything hidden away in that old building before it was turned into Foyle’s.
        I agree. I think some high street shops, the assistants don’t bother looking, then ask, “Do you have internet? You can order there”.

        Whom is Christina F?

      • Sorry Spoons – Christina Foyle, daughter and niece of the founders. I think the “old” Foyle’s shop was originally built for the business. I used to go in there during “the troubles”; it was the only time I was ever remotely concerned about a bomb going off. It would have been a case of “Books Do Furnish A Tomb” rather than “Books Do Furnish A Room” (Anthony Powell, A Dance to the Music of Time”)

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