The Year 2020 (Thus far)

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2020 started off brilliantly. The swamp in Parliament had been cleared and Boris was saying all the right things, but so far it’s turned into bit of a cunt year. Here’s why:

– Corona virus C-19, but don’t worry and just wash your hands. Nothing to see here.
– 125 billion wiped off the stock market.
– New IR35 rules – contracts are few and far between and the rates are lower. That’s me fucked then.
– Weird media outpouring for Phillip Schofield.
– Panic buying and fighting over toilet paper.
– China gets 5G radiation contract.
– Iran plane ‘crash’.
– Millions of snowflakes panicked by Twitter spat between Trump and Iran.
– Rain and more rain… and then more rain.
– Mud like the Somme, at least where I walk the dogs.
– Flooding in U.K.
– Terrifying bushfires in Oz.
– Megxit (that’s a good thing though)
– All Labour Party leader candidates exactly the same as Corbyn, no lessons learned (don’t care).
– St Greta visits UK and ruins Bristol for a day.
– Turkey opens border to allow thousands of men on the make into Europe.

P.S. I have a loose tooth and need to go the dentist.

Feel free to add to the list.

Nominated by Cuntologist

127 thoughts on “The Year 2020 (Thus far)”

  1. It’s a cunt Cunto. And the fucking clocks haven’t even gone forward yet!
    Where the fuck’s my Glenfiddich?

      • There fucking wasn’t when I went into Tesco’s at Raynes Park at about 3pm.

        Fucking obliterated it was. Unless you wanted some of that Jack Daniels Honey shite or some wanky 3.8% lager.

        This is getting beyond a fucking joke.

      • A nice drop of Harvey’s or King n Barnes! Good stuff.

        Or the brewery that makes HSB, Hairy Shit Bum as we used to call it back in the day. Gales was it??

      • No sir….

        I went purposely for usual Jimmy Beam.

        None, fuck all nothing, bloody gone.

        All the mid shelf gone, plenty of cheap gut rot on bottom shelf and the expensive top shelf had hardly been touched.

  3. All football stopped is a bummer. Could mean Ron’s team get a ‘get out of jail’ card. 😀

    • They don’t deserve it if they do, the useless cunts. I’ve thought about putting the Villa up for a fully-fldged cunting, but decided that it would be of strictly limited interest. Even the faithful are starting to think that we’ve seen one too many false dawns at Villa Park.

      • As a Bluenose I would love to take potshots at the clowns up the road in Aston, but I just don’t have enough hours in the day to do that, ha!

      • As a West Brom fan I would wholeheartedly back a cunting of the the Villa. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this season is allowed to stand so we can swap places with you as was looking very likely before the apocalypse hit!

      • My mate Ed is a diehard Villain. Went to Villa Park last season and parked in his usual spot as near the ground as possible ‘cos he can’t walk as well these days. Locked the car and off he went. Got to the turnstile and realised he’d left his season ticket on the dashboard of his car. Slowly trekked back to his motor to find some cunt had smashed his windscreen…………….and left another one next to it. Cunts!

      • I’ve practically been comatose with boredom thanks to the lack of football recently. Pity what’s happened to Villa mind – that Martin O’Neill side was fantastic.

  4. Be prepared for 20th October and 20 seconds and 20 minutes past 8, as this translates as :-

    “20/10/20 : 20:20:20”.

    and the end of the world will happen according to some cunts with crystal balls!

      • Isn’t there an asteroid coming to finish us all off on the 29th April, 2020? I’ll just check on Goggley-crap.

        Sorry, chaps, it will miss us after all.

        Here’s what the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette has to say on it –

        The asteroid is called 52768 (1998 OR2) and it was first spotted in 1998. It will pass within 3,908,791 miles of Earth, moving at 19,461 miles per hour.

        The flyby is expected to occur on Wednesday, April 29, at 4:56 a.m. ET, according to NASA’s Center for Near Earth Object Studies. They track Near-Earth Objects that could collide with Earth.

        Disappointing, eh?

  5. I’ve just read that a pub in my area is ‘reaching out’ to help people who are self isolating. I got onto it straight away asking if they could bring me a few crates of beer and a case of my favourite red. FFS. You can imagine my disappointment when they said they only meant dropping off any shopping.
    Fuck off Red Lion.

      • It’s all about to change Moggie. Sainsbury’s and Asda have announced that they’re putting limits on all foodstuffs.

      • Mrs Mogg on medication, have to wait and see how it goes, generally fine but pissed off as she was supposed to go to Oz in a fortnight and the GP told her, in no uncertain terms, that she’s at high risk.

      • Asda have limits on stuff they haven’t got. This morning, all paper products and eggs totally absent and almost all bread gone.

      • Im enjoying this year so far.
        Admittedly would of swapped the mud n rain for more snow some nice groundfrosts, but ok bar that.
        Cant wait for a powercut so these hoarders are left with a few hundred quids worth of defrosted food the fuckin weasels!
        Good nom Cuntologist👍

      • Soon full to the brim Cuntologist!
        When the powercuts happen itll fill with water!
        😁

  7. I saw something this morning that defied logic – a shop only taking card payments. So, first of all, anybody without a card (and there are millions) can fuck off. They won’t take cash from the person in front of them, to avoid contamination from the money having been handled. But they are more than happy to risk contamination from the goods they have to scan, which have been handled by the person in front of them. Management thinking at its best.

    • Chippy near me, a good one, takes good money, the female owners neurotic, talking about closing for awhile, now not taking cash payments!
      Also talking about customers wearing gloves.
      Be bankrupt by May.

      • This has been blown out of all proportion and it’s the poor that will suffer, as usual. If you have money you’ll be fine no matter how ignorant, or thick, you are.

      • I think if the government had followed their original plan of allowing everyone to get it then an estimated 500,000 people would have died as a result. That’s a lot of graves.

  8. Yep. Another count of a year. Just like last year. And the one before that.

    Fuck off.

  9. Lets call this disease by its proper name. Wuhan flu. Or the chinks will get away with murder.

    • And it’s not panic-buying. It’s I’m entitled, important, mememe, selfish, fuck you all, greedy-buying.

  10. The local small brewery is fucked, it has only been running for a year, I suggested that he do home delivery or buy and old milk float and become a beer man.
    Can you imagine that 5 pints today please!
    Proper environmentally friendly, put your empties on the step and in the morning fresh ones!

  11. Another one to add to the list

    Reassuring emails from the CEO of every fucking organisation that has managed to access my email address. Fuck off you cunts!

    • I’ve had several, including from companies I’ve never heard of, telling me how they are going to make my shopping experience safe and measured, delivery included. If I’m happy to mix with all the cunts round the corner in Asda then I’m sure I can manage.

  12. Any chance St Greta of Cuntbergs is in permanent self-isolation in an igloo jollying herself with some environmentally-friendly icicles?

  13. Don’t travel, don’t travel!!!!! BBC reporters in Rome, Tenerife, Spain, USA etc, etc. The hypocrisy of these globe trotting gravy train cunts is unbelievable. If I never, ever watch one more minute of TV media again in my life. Am I the only one thinking that this hysteria will never stop when annual normal flu makes a return in the Autumn and Winter? Are we to be in a perpetual lockdown from now on? Cunts.

  14. I always thought by 2020 itd be all hoverboards silver jumpsuits an robots.
    But no, the black death is on the doorstep an the worlds going tits up.
    This time next week we’ll have gladiator fights for tinned goods.
    Isacc Asimov was way off the mark.

    • Asimov was not off, if you want to read about mob mentality and how social change is affected by disaster read the Foundation series of books, a masterwork and very relevant now.

      I can’t wait for The Mule to come along now.

  15. With this Corbyn 19 virus due to stay with us for at least 18 months (according to some fuckwit “experts”), I am wary of what that daft twat Jo Moore said after 9/11, with her “today is a good day to bury bad news” fuck-up. So be prepared for Boris to slide a few unpopular policies out there while no one is looking!

    And one suspects Labour are secretly hoping that the government fucks this crisis up big time, forcing a vote of no confidence in Parliament, which could force another election. Steptoe (or whomever) may fancy his chances if they team up with the LibDumbos and the Scottish Krankie Party.

    If that remote eventuality ever happened you may as well hope you get the virus and wish for a quick death!

    • Hehee, im sure they do!!
      Go out an treat yerself.
      Be extravagant!👍👍

      • I have my eye on a wild-boar shooting holiday in Poland,MNC…. I’ll be fucking furious if my holiday plans are spoiled due to this outbreak.

      • Check out ‘Hogzilla’ in the states Dick!
        Sorry cant do links.
        Boar are hard as fuck, an big an aggressive, some places welcome hunting of them as they destroy woodland and crops.
        Got a tusk as a keyring,
        NOT something you want up your harris!
        Watch yersel!👍

        https://youtu.be/RbgLPDWdCfk

      • Cheers Admin👍
        Dick get that will done please, want to know im financially secure if they find you mauled in the polish woods.
        Sick of telling you. Tut.
        😜

      • See if you can get Tusk (the intellectually-stunted satanic knobgoblin, not the ivory…).

        I am curious as to the identity of the first “sleb” to cark; who will it be ? Answers on the back of a ration-book…

    • Haha Fishy, I just noticed that, good spot. Though he looks a little sheepish doesn’t he? Orderrrrrrrrrrrr!!

  18. Can we not just do a ‘Back to the Future’, DeLorean-travelling rewind to 2019 and nuke those fucking Chinks, before they very kindly unleashed their cunt plague on the rest of the world? All they do is inflict misery. Misery on their own people, misery on the animal world with their ungodly eating habits and now misery on every other country on the planet thanks to their stinking practices.

    This year so far has indeed been a right cunt. Most years lately are pretty shit, but this one has been horrendous. I bet St.Greta is throwing her IKEA toys out of the pram now, as attention has well and truly been diverted away from her mission and campaigning.

    Well tough titty, Greta.

    • Doc: It’s the chinks Marty, something’s gotta be done about the chinks. They’re eating wild animals.

      Marty: Why is that a problem Doc?

      Doc: Because Marty, one of those chinks eats the bat that starts a global pandemic. WE’VE GOTTA STOP THEM MARTY!!!!

      • They certainly chomp on a lot of bone and eat a lot of pussy on X-Hamster … and if the links are to be believed you can get a creampie as well.

        PS: Creampie (Bleeeeeeergh! … why you fucking filthy cunts, use some Kleenex, no one needs to see that)?

    • That’s it. Accentuate the positive. No traffic and a clear road in this morning too. Should be ‘working’ at home shortly – I won’t even have to try to skive.

  21. It’s because we voted Leave. If we hadn’t been thick rightwing populist fascist skum*, we’d all be riding unicorns, immune to everything except pleasure, and would never have to work again. Woe.

    Anyway, cheer the fuck up. The nom’s not likely to do that, I am sorry to say. Try this and if the music doesn’t do it, just take a look at the totty…(the cunt takes his silly mask off eventually)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buCD-_1UPn4

    *Remembered just in time

    • The news showing them extending a mortuary in London in preparation.
      An the pounds at its lowest against the US dollar since 1985 .
      So,..anyone going anywhere nice this year?😁

      • Why can’t anyone just accept that we are completely, utterly and totally* fucked? Beyond the possibility of recovery. The sky fairy hates us, the ecosystem hates us and I have no doubt the seven-armed penguinoids of Cassiopea hate us, all with good reason. All that is left for us is to break into peals of nasty laughter. Which will enhance our lung function, at any rate. Enjoy.

        *Copyright the Welsh Windbag

  22. Just found out that the Eurovision ‘song’ contest will be cancelled. Brilliant news.

  23. Rumours abound that the next thing on the panic-buyer’s list is petrol!

    I suppose its the next logical step down the food chain: bog roll, hand soap, tins of beans, bread, petrol!

    Best top up now before every cunt and his dog gets clued in.

  27. I kicked my naked pinky toe (Yes pinky toe you judgemental cunts) on a coffee table leg.

    I nearly cried it hurt so much (Yes NEARLY cried you judgemental cunts).

    On the upside … Eastenders isn’t filming for a while and Eurovision has been cancelled … every cloud.

  28. In the long run however this China virus is actually another move towards nationalism and nationhood. The economy will eventually recover, but people’s attitude toward globalism and the new liberal order is increasingly distrustful. When this problem is dealt with we can hopefully deal with the next most pressing problem of Islamic invaders and immigrant groups who make the country poorer generally.

    • Omit could be used as a reason to expand globalisation and set up a world government. Corona is the perfect excuse to introduce new technologies and test martial law and how the population will react to a crises and the government handling of a crises. You

    • Funny you should mention about the change in attitude towards globalism and open borders policy. The new head of the EU, Ursula von der Leyen, appears to have a healthy attitude to shoring up the borders of Europe and attempting to keep the continent white. She didn’t say a dickie-bird against the Greeks when they decided to tell our peaceful friends to fuck off. In fact all I read were words of encouragement for the bubble and squeaks. Ursula also had a bit off a slagging off from a human rights organisation for her actions. She’s also pumped out 7 kids who are probably whiter than an Afrikaans speaking polar bear. In addition, she’s appointed a minister who is in charge of preserving European traditions and Juncker has accused her of being all white supremacist because of this. At this juncture she seems to be a good’un. Let’s hope my optimism is not misplaced.

      • I think the cunts may have at least learned something from Brexit.

  29. Schools closed from Friday. In the old days that would have meant the little bastards roaming the streets and the crime rate through the roof. These days they’ll all be stuck in front of screens absorbing the libtard propaganda they would have got at school.
    How the fuck are you supposed to bunk off school to protest about climate change when you don’t have to go in the first place? Saint Greta weeps, a nation laughs.

    • No doubt the little darlings will still be roaming the streets regardless of what their electronic gôds can offer them. Shit news if, like me, you tick all the boxes that qualify you as a fully paid up member of the at risk group. At least when the little toe-rags were confined to school there was a 6 hour or so window where there was less chance of us oldies bumping into another potential virus carrier in the shops or even taking a stroll in the fresh air.

    • It’s nearly Spring Freddie! They’ll all be collecting frog spawn.
      😀

  30. Google ‘chloroquine coronavirus’ and look at all the stories breaking about it. A fair few of them from scientific sources.

    Yes, it’s not the tried and tested vaccine we need, but it may prove to be a decent stop gap until then. Can have a few unpleasant side effects for some by all accounts, but what is there to lose?

    And why haven’t the cunts at the BBC reported on this positive development? Probably too busy wanking over people thinking it’s the end of the world.

    • some people who have had routine yearly flu vaccines cannot cope with coronavirus and have died – vaccine is not the ideal solution – big pharma making profit out of people dying is out of order

    • Guy at work is drinking tonic water as a prophylactic, having read something similar, and under the almost certainly mistaken impression that minute doses of quinine will do the same job. Komodo Big Pharma Inc says DONT. It’s very easy to OD (fatally) on quinine, and its terminal quinuclidine group is more reactive than chloroquine’s diethylamine terminal. Both are believed to have adverse effects on the immune system. But it’s great with gin.

      • The amount in tonic water is tiny nowadays by all accounts (because of the side effects you mention they to ed the amount down in modern times) and would only have any impact at all if you drank about 20 litres of the stuff.

      • Agreed. As stated, minute quantity in tonic. As suggested, don’t try to find larger amounts. This has been a public service announcement.

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