Phil Collins (2)

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Yes, those boring old fucks ‘Genesis’ are going on tour. This time round, old Crooner Phil will be performing in a wheelchair. Who said rock n roll isn’t sexy anymore?

Has the old git got no self respect?

They wheeled him on stage in LA in a bath chair recently. I am embarrassed for the ridiculous wanker. Has he gone completely skint? I saw Genesis back in 1970 when young Phil was at the top of his game. I won’t be going to see this spectacle. It will be like watching a relative dying a slow death through Cancer.

I bet he ends up singing his old cheesy love ballads from the 80’s. Hopefully he will do a Tommy Cooper before the encore. Slumped back in his wheelchair with a big piss stain in the front of his pyjamas.

Nominated by Fenton Fistula

70 thoughts on “Phil Collins (2)”

  2. I’ve been a live long fan of Genesis and always regret not seeing them live. So am I going to dig deep to get a ticket? Not bloody likely. I heard an interview with the three of them and Phil can barely talk clearly these days let alone sing out “Mama”. And he can no longer drum, so it wouldn’t be Genesis.

    I used to be a competent mountaineer. Am I going to climb alpine north faces these days? No because I’m, er, too old…. The three should learn from my analogy.

    • Yep Phil can’t drum that good anymore but hes seriously one of the best drummers definitely in my top ten

      There’s so much bootlegs, live cds, and filmed concerts (both official and fan filmed) that you really don’t need to see them live. Seeing them in the flesh might be a headache and a hassle too for what its worth

  3. Am rather vanilla towards Collins. But if he wants to do the rounds again then that’s fine. After all The Who and the Stones have been touring way past their sell by for donkey’s years.

    Have seen Colllins in concert a couple of times over the last 40 years, and he is good value, has a good natural voice, and certainly knows he’s way around a drumkit.

    But outside of the concert hall/studio, he is a bit of a cunt without any shadow of a doubt.

    • I saw them 3 times in the 70’s Technocunt, and they were brilliant every time.
      But watching elderly men go through the motions will be embarrassing and painful to watch.
      For example.
      I was a huge fan of Peter Green , he had a great voice , amazing guitarist and good looking. Then I saw him in the Splinter Group a few years ago and I wish I hadn’t. He shuffled on stage assisted by the band . Their stood this fat bald bloke who couldn’t string a sentence and kept drifting off mid song. It was pitiful to see and that’s now how I will remember him.
      Nope , I choose to remember them when they were at the top of there game. Unless they can still cut the mustard of course.
      Watching Phil Collins perform in a spastic chariot is not for me.
      .

      • Peter Green wrote that guitar based instrumental Albatross, love that tune and that was over 50 years ago.
        When did music die?

      • 1998 or specifically when Britney Spears released her first single.

      • When he mind fucked himself on LSD.
        Some say he was spiked….. either way it was such a shame, he was better than Clapton in my opinion.

  6. I won’t be going to see them either.
    Partly because they were, are, and always will be….well…. shit.
    And partly because they are money-grubbing rich cunts.
    Get fucked.

  7. Why doesn’t he have robot legs fitted like that South African cunt who shot his wife if his real ones are fucked?
    Cheapskate.

    • Why don’t they remove his head and lungs and stick him in a Robocop type body. He could patrol the crowds before the concert, taking out any potential bombers or touts. Quick charge up before the gig and he’s good to go.

  8. Music,kike the other “Arts”, is a load of old Wank perpetrated by a bunch of Nancy-Boys and Lezzas who lack the moral fibre to do anything useful and substantial with their lives.

    Would the World really stop turning because some Cunt wasn’t tinkling on at a piano or caterwauling about his “Lost Love” or some such shite?

    Collins performs anodyne music for anodyne people…he should be thoroughly ashamed of himself,as should his audience for listening to him.

    “You Can’t Hurry Love” and neither can you hurry your “Shut The Fuck Up,You Boring Old Cunt” moment either,apparently.

    I only like Simon Cowell acts….wholesome catchy music guaranteed not to angry up thee blood like so much of that Rap/Heavy Metal/Classical Shite…..it should all be banned.

    Fuck Off.

    • Hahahaha Simon Cowell.
      Dick you always make me laugh.
      If I genuinely thought you thought Cowell acts were good I’d be deeply worried about you. But hey god bless you for making me laugh while drinking my tea. It’s all over my lambswool sweater you mad cunt hahahaha.

      • Oy Vey !!

        “If I am I because you are you, and you are you because I am I, then I am not I and you are not you. But if I am I because I am I, and you are you because you are you, then I am I and you are you.” – Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk

      • Heehee, you ok Dick?
        Rtc or Bwc not sent you anything in the post have they?☺

      • Just the usual,MNC….revolting photographs and threats of physical violence.

      • Saving that up for one of those moments when I feel nauseous but can’t quite chuck up, Dick You make a powerful case for your opinion.

        (Watching a Boris Brejcha set as I type. The video indicates that Belgian women are much better looking than I ever suspected, and depravity is admittedly not far away)

      • One look at Verminhofsdtadt, and the horrible truth about Belgian depravity is revealed…it’s all that melted chocolate, being pumped endlessly through a “chocolate fountain”…looks like a butt plug…

    • Dont think i could stand the excitement of a wheelchaired Phil Collins on stage!
      I know what i like and like what i know,
      Deadpool here we come.

    • No Spastic Required

      Another Day in Care

      Take Me Home (to McCarthy and Stone)

  10. Good luck Phil, you guys must be desperate for the money. It’s amazing what you can sell on the back of nostalgia, seriously though Phil, is this going to do too or the punters any favours. A sick elderly man in a wheelchair is not my idea of dignified entertainment.

    • “. A sick elderly man in a wheelchair is not my idea of dignified entertainment”

      Oh,I don’t know about that. I remember the brake failing on my Grandfather’s bathchair while on a picnic in The Lake District….how we laughed as he barrelled off down the hill leaving scattered bobbel-hatted Hikers in has wake before launching into Coniston Water and attempting to break Donald Campbell’s “Bluebird” land-speed record….probably would have managed too if that fucking rowing-boat of day-trippers hadn’t “sea-mined” the poor old bugger….last seen going down with his vessel while still giving a rousing chorus “Rule Britannia,Britannia rules the waves”

      • Fair enough, if Phil’s prepared to imitate your grandfather he should be lauded, obviously being in entertainment he’ll include pyrotechnics and dancing girls.

      • Morning Fenton.

        I still like Genesis 1969 – 1974.

        Saw them live along with Caravan (who were better) at Suffolk College in 1973, both bands were awesome.

        As is your nom. Collins is an irritating, narcissistic irrelevant cunt and has been for the last 45 years, ever since he came out from behind his drum kit.

      • Morning Ruff Tuff
        I totally agree, I was a big fan when he kept his gob shut behind the drum kit. Saw Genesis with Lindisfarne and Van der Graaf Generator at Brighton Dome all for 6 shillings in 1970.
        He was especially good in Brand X.
        But then his ego kicked in and turned out a load of cheesy shit .
        I did read his autobiography, he came across as a very insecure little man. Fucked up one relationship after another because he needed to be adored and the little head was always telling the big head what to do.

      • Correction: it was 1972 I saw Genesis live, just before Foxtrot was released.

        Haven’t read Collins’s autobiography. Have a feeling I never will. Nick Mason’s was okay though, as I recall.

      • I only read Phill Collins Autobiography because it was going for a quid in the Dead Mans Shop.
        Don’t bother Ruff Tuff it’s a load of egotistical superficial shite.

      • ABV and the name of mine host, please. Or I shall have to chastise you for poor note-taking.

    • Thought hed been replaced by that drumming gorilla from the cadburys advert anyway?
      Lammy get down from there!!!

  13. I haven’t took Phil Collins seriously since making a cunt of himself on Brasseye, Genesis is okay, especially the piss taking song “Jesus he knows me”, a favourite request of old biddies on local radio!

  14. Land Of Confusion….

    “my generation will put it right – we’re not just making promises we know we’ll never keep”

    Sanctimonious money-grubbing old cunts

    • Back in the 80s, Phil Collins famously appeared on TOTP using a Black & Decker Workmate to sit his keyboard on – maybe someone could dig it out of the loft for him and sit him on it this time…

  15. ‘Slumped back in his wheelchair with a big piss stain in the front of his pyjamas.’
    That made me laugh out loud Fenton, thank you.

  16. Another Old Cunt has made a comeback, that wanker David Abel is back in the UK and on the fucking TV again.
    Now he is giving his ‘oh I nearly didn’t make it’ , fuck off you CUNT!

    • Had to google that. Thought the fucker had croaked. Presume this is what you get with daytime TV. You know what to do.

    • Fucks sake! Why do Islamic State never off any cunts of real value! They should have a nomination page of their own and this uber-boomer would get my fucking vote. If they drained the swamp of the genuinely aggravating cunts instead of innocent women and children I might regard Islam more favourably.

  17. Never been keen so wont be tempted.
    My wife bought some awful bland LP of his a long time ago – Hated it. Have passed it on to my son in law who is a vinyl collector (cunt)
    The spectacle of all these past it cunts touring is down to the end of decent royalties from their recordings. Bring back the royalties to spare us this shite.

  18. In the photo it looks as though he’s pictured with his two sons. Mavis’s favourite track was “ I Can’t Dance.”
    Most of their best stuff was pre- Collins with Peter Gabriel. I don’t think anyone will be ‘touring’ in the present climate.

  19. Great in their day, but done more or less fuck all after Steve Hackett left… The three man Genesis had the odd moment (Home By The Sea, Mama, Follow You Follow Me), but they reached a gruesome nadir with the Invisible Touch era… The title track of that album being one of the worst loads of shite ever committed to record… Last really good album was A Trick Of The Tail….

    And as much as I loved Peter Gabriel in Genesis and his early solo stuff, he became a pretentious and pompous cunt… Always going on about those African types, promoting that ‘World Music’ dog dirt and a prototype for all that Sting and Bonio amnesty bollocks… If Peter and other cunts (like that Damon Blur twat) love Africa so much, why don’t they fucking live there?… There’s room enough, because most of the fuckers from there are now over here…

    • Damn straight – there is only the One True Living God and his name is…
      …Steve (smile when you say his name) Hackett

  20. Some interesting views on here but the consensus seems to be that (a) this tour ain’t a great idea and (b) late-era/solo Collins is a cunt (c) ISAC contains several furtive Genesis (but no Collins) fans (and yep Im one of them although I preferred Yes and ELP)
    For me the last decent album was Trick of The Tail so it was Hackett’s departure that really tipped the balance. No singles thank god but a consistently high standard of album tracks. After that it was all turgid solo pap from Collins or that fucking The Living Years from Rutherford.

    • And in interviews Tony Banks comes across as a bit of a cunt…

      Collins went up his own arse in the mid 80s… Fucking creme brulee turd like ‘Sussudio’, then there was that one with that Earth Wind and Fire bloke, the romanticising train robbers bollocks, those Prince’s fucking Trust gigs, larging it at Live Aid, and failing to fill Bonham’s shoes in the Zep reunion at that same gig… He also had the most dreadful receding mullet at this time…

  21. Norman you pipped me to it re TOTT !

    And furthermore Spot On about what a twat Gabriel became. World Music = bongo bollocks.

    Decent tribute band “The Musical Box” worth checking out.

  22. Is he running out of cash in his tax haven of Switzerland, greedy fucker?

    You just know that these old farts have either been bunged a shit load of readies to ‘go on the road’ again, or they are doing it to get a shit load of readies…..or both. I have zero respect for that kind of avarice coming from already very rich celebricunts,

    I actually like a few of Collins’s choons as a solo artist, and a couple with Genesis, but fuck’s sake, he has done fuck all of late, so why not stay gone?

    Oh yeah. Money.

    Fuck off.

  24. hey pop-pickers their new single, out next week, is ‘Swallowing the Virus by the Pound’

  25. I think from your cultural reference points, I’m probably about ten years younger than most of you cunts. Probably why I like you all so much. My bands were Depeche Mode and New Order, and The Cult, stuff like that. Used to bunk off school to buy their singles and albums, saw them countless times everytime they played London or anywhere close. Fucking loved them.

    Last time I saw Depeche Mode it was 75 rips a ticket (bear in mind the cunts have sold a hundred million records) in a shitty stadium in what we now laughably refer to as the former Stratford, in East Londonistan. Singer came out coked to the gills like the oldest swinger in town with his daft moves and tripped over on the stage before he’d even sung a note. And the rest looked like they were so bored they were just counting ticket sales up from the front row upwards. No thanks.

    The last gig I really enjoyed was Nine Inch Nails at the Town and Country club in Kentish town (fuck knows what it’s called now) in 1994.

  26. Went to see The Stone Roses at Heaton Park in 2012, and that was only to see Reni play the drums… Not been to a gig since…

    This Genesis tour is also nepotism in action… The son of Collins will be behind the drum kit… Whatever happened to Chester Thompson, you cunts?…

  27. “Oh, think twice, it’s just another day for you and me in paradise..”
    Speak for your fucking self, Phil. I think your version of “paradise” is markedly different from the rest of us, you minted old cunt.
    And if you’re that bothered about the homeless, get your fucking wallet out and bung them a few quid, instead of causing more suffering by fucking singing about them.

  28. This is known as the pension plan tour. See also Steve Howe still dragging Yes on and on.

  29. Mrs Time is a bit of a Genesis officiado.

    That is, until she saw the prices of tickets…it would have cost us over a grand for the two of us. I persuaded her that it wouldn’t be Genesis at their peak and Gabriel wouldn’t be with them.

    I may be a cunt but I am not a stupid cunt.

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