Modern Day ‘Teen Talk’

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The excruciating talk of teens today. I have to endure it on the bus. I don’t know, but when I was a kid, I am sure we didn’t talk about ‘relationships’ or ‘the environment’ or ‘race’ or personal stuff like a divorce of parents, or even a bereavement (this was on her mobile but we could all hear).

Today one lad was talking about his tics. I had a suspicion he might be putting them on to impress the girl that was with him. It wouldn’t surprise me in this upside down world. But I think they were real. So talk about a personal thing like tics. Talk about a personal thing like divorce. Talk about their ‘race’. Talk about about their ‘sexuality’. Talk about their ‘identity’. These are 13 and 14-year olds. Wow! When I that age the talk was about…well, there wasn’t much talk. Just grabbing someone’s schoolbag, gurning at pedestrians outside (faces at the window) spontaneously attacking one another. In other words, FUCKING ABOUT.

All the teenagers talking serious while the older passengers having a genuine laugh.

What a twisted, fucked up, upside down world we have created. Yes, twisted is the word because the ‘sexuality’ they talk so much about is of course not normal sexuality, but a twisted sexuality. The ‘identity’ they are talking about is a twisted identity. The racism that they talk about has been twisted out of all proportion.

“BUS STOPPING’… Oh, release.

Nominated by Miles Plastic

58 thoughts on “Modern Day ‘Teen Talk’”

  1. I know exactly what you mean, MIles. I use the bus in winter as my ancient eyes aren’t too great with oncoming headlights on the bike (and riding on ice is not my favourite activity) – the bus is usually full of 6th-form-college students whose conversation is often obtrusive. Some are still traditional young cunts – toxic but fundamentally OK -, but the cod-social-worker bollocks most of them talk would turn your stomach. Quite apart from every other word being ‘like’.

    OTOH many of the adult passengers are just as offensive, the more so as they are using the bus to be environmental or something.

    • I think you may find cycling on ice will be the next big bbc thing for saturday night viewing for a population under martial law – however, a great cunting for the uninitiated

      • Poor Nom this Komodo. Just a bad day at the (cunting) office as if were.
        D H Lawrence wrote two poems the first ‘The Worst of School’ the last line- ‘I shall sit and wait for the bell’. Then another-‘The Best of School’ in which he celebrated the joy of youth.
        So since that day all the kids I have encountered have been… well kids; boys fucking about, girls giggling.
        What I really should have cunted is ‘Co-Education’. That unhealthy relationship of effeminate boys with their embryonic fag hag.girl ‘friends’ talking to impress. That was it, that ‘group’.

  2. Fortunately living up here in rural Cumbria such yoof-speak hasn’t reached such unintelligible levels. In fact most of the kids up here are pretty old-school, pardon the pun. They’re in traditional school uniforms, (even wearing short trousers and skirts in the middle of winter – completely unfazed by the cold!) don’t spend ages glued to their phones. And when you do overhear them waiting at bus stops they do appear to speaking in quite a civil and understandable way!

    Of course this might be because 99.9% are white, and therefore have yet to be absorbed in the “diverse multi-cultural enrichment” that has generally fucked up most of our major cities.

    When I used to catch the train/bus into Birmingham I’d need subtitles or Google Translate, just to get a gist of what some of these young cunts were banging on about. In my day it was always football, music or girls. But these days, kids are bigging up St Greta, Extinction Rebellion, Ed Shtihead and transgender alignment questions.

    Cool, dude

  3. Nobody under 21 (at least) has anything of any importance or interest to say.
    To be fair very few over 21s have anything interesting to say either, but you have to start somewhere.

    • you remind me of my Dad.
      I tried to stop him eating an insect on a fork load of salad when he was talking to my Mum.
      He told me off for butting in, shoved the whole lot in his mouth chewed and swallowed making a point of making me wait, then asked me what I wanted.
      By which time it was too late.

      • My father rarely spoke of his time in a German PoW camp, but grew faintly nostalgic about the maggots floating in his daily bowl of Kartoffelsuppe, which supplied essential protein.

        https://youtu.be/tH7NGgWGRvM

        a bit of nostalgia for you.

      • There was a good German story about someone’s grossfarter dying in a constipation camp…
        The searchlight blew a fuse, and he fell out of the tower in the dark…

      • there’s nothing worse than finding half an insect in your salad …. cos the other half is in your mouth ….

  4. The New Puritans. Little cunts, play bulldog, climb a tree, build a camp … stop saying, Sorta Kinda Like Like Kinda Sortof like like like like and get to the point you fucking wetends.

    Again CUNTS.

    • We used to play bulldog up the trees where we live, the danger tree version…great days, still got the scars!!!

  6. Blame social media for all this bullshit. When I was 13 all I wanted to do is play footy and look at the girls knickers under the desk. We certainly did not talk about racism or sexuality. If you wanted to talk about your problems this was considered a weakness and usually ended in a richly deserved beating. What a bunch of cunts.

    • “We certainly did not talk about racism or sexuality.” I would differ I think we did but not in the same context, I recall calling people benders, and probably called a few people egg and spoons, or parky’s all in good humour though.

    • That’s why I’m not remotely interested in any housing aimed at the over 50s; I don’t want to be an easy target…

  7. All this just makes me think the voting age should be raised to back to 21 and social media restricted for under 18’s.

    Just heard that Idris Elba has tested positive for cunt virus, so testing is available for useless cunts, I thought it was restricted to those in hospital and staff!
    This really boils my piss, this cunt doesn’t have any significance to the current situation so why is it even reported.

  8. I think you may have a hearing problem Miles. Are you sure the ‘lad’ didn’t say TITS , not tics? Because he has probably just had the hormone treatment to change him into a woman and they haven’t sprouted yet!

  9. I haven’t created anything twisted, it’s the lefty pc anti British anti white brigade that’s done it. The rot set in when Bliar came to power. This twisted little bastard set out to systematically destroy our country. So great was/ is his hatred for out country and culture he worked as hard as possible to wreck it.
    All those flakey little cunts are the product of his time in power and his mindset which has infested every facet of our country.
    Government,law, sport,media, education… everything.

    • I found Blair tut-tutting at Magic Grandpa both hypocritical and bizarre. Blair would have loved to have done the things Corbyn did, but he knew he would lose all his valuable city connections, and the hotline to the great and good if he had. I always remember all his pansy arselickers in the early days of NuLabour all parroting about how “radical” he was. There seemed to be very little evidence of it except from the poofters rich imaginations.

      Blair and Corbyn were equally disastrous to this country and all the fucking makeup Antony Blair wore probably fucked up the climate more than the stench from Margaret Beckett’s knickers.

  11. Stardate 60017 captains log, It has been 6 days since being exposed to the deadly corona my sharona virus. Many nay sayers are saying I don’t have it or I’m paranoid about my symptoms yet theres a better chance I have it as I’m exhibiting more symptoms then that cunt Tom Hanks and Idris Elba are showing.

    I’ve been rationing the toilet paper since being exposed to the deadly virus, this morning I had lovely dump using only 6 squares 3 wet 3 dry, not bad considering most wasteful cunts use half a roll or a full roll on a single fucking use. I’ve been listening to music mostly techno,house and smoking hash to keep my spirits up and playing video games as a distraction as the contagion slowly courses through my body will keep you cunters updated as it worsens.

    Oh and i’ll be having a little corona virus celebration in a few days with beer and gin cocktails I don’t know how much longer I have maybe another month til I die so I’ll be getting drunk soon cheers end transmission

      • Thanks komodo sorry for the somewhat late response busy yesterday, I haven’t heard much infected mushroom but I knew they were Israeli I prefer older techno/house not big on psytrance but its better then dubstep from what i heard

        I haven’t heard of virus before but i like what I hear its more up my alley of techno tastes heres a song I heard maybe a hundred times so far this month can’t beat classic FSOL in my opinion I like some of their ambient stuff but they were better as a techno group accelerator was fucking ace https://youtu.be/a4iyPMWOZkY

  12. Sadly adults are getting down with the kids “Cool” is the favourite word of the under 18s and now even their grandads use it. “Cool” isn’t that cool. It was being used in America in the late 1940s. Cool…..

  13. It used to wind me up when i was in London and instead of using the word things they used to say tings, another one was the word bruv which has now gone on to blud /blood . It’s the same as all this fucking text speak , i may not be the best with grammar but you will never find me writing all that bollocks .
    Gr8 (great)
    Ru (are you )
    That’s all i can think of but either way it’s shit and teaches the kids to be lazy with words just as now in schools they get lazy with handwriting . Can’t beat a good handwritten letter in proper English , get me tho blud.

    • I don’t have to listen to these teeny farts trying to impress each other any more because I’m not using public transport again for the foreseeable future, not till all these corona-ridden cunts have died off.

    • Init doe kedd, cause we iz kool an u iznt. I is da baddest ganxta doe, yeh, evry won noes dat! Headbutt the cunts.

  14. I look at teenagers these days and I just think to myself, “I’m sure I wasn’t like that when I was their age”…..mind you, I was painfully shy and barely spoke to any other fucker anyway, had only a couple of friends, no social media, no mobile phones/internet. I truly think that those things have effectively destroyed the thought processes and innocence of the youth of today (now I am sounding like a granny, but I don’t give a fuck. IMO, it’s true!!)

    When I was a teen, we talked about who we fancied on TV/in films, pop music, which girls at our all-girls school we thought had got off with someone/done the dirty already (but in a VERY naive way of course) hairstyles, clothes, random female shit……nothing more.

    Sexuality, gender, identity…..what the actual fuck? None of that shite. Those things didn’t even enter our minds.

    I hated my teenage years in the 80s, but I now look back and think how good we had it as life was far less complicated, the bullying stopped when you left school (not like today, when it follows you 24/7 through the phone and internet, which must be hellish for kids these days) and we just got on with being young and not old before our time, without all of this deep, very adult diatribe of today.

    Most teens are utter cunts now. Talk like cunts, act like cunts….just oozing cuntery.

      • That is the first (and probably last, especially if Cuntvirus get a hold of me) proposal I have ever received, Diablo.

        I am sincerely flattered and grateful. Can I have some time to think about it?

      • Certainly, Bertie! I would be honoured.

        I might add that many have tried to ‘give me away’ on several occasions (mostly my Mum during my stroppy teenage years) but failed miserably, as no fucker would take me.

  15. When I was at school there was no need for any Cunt to mention their “tics”,race,sexuality etc…..we’d have already done it for them…..we’d have probably been the cause of their “tics” in the first place,come to that.

    A good head-flushing down the toilet or a solid kicking on the rugby pitch normally convinced the weak,the swotty,the “challenged”, the ‘differently-abled,the””flamboyant” and the unsporty types to keep their feelings to themselves.

    • I guess you were at St. Custard’s, Dick.

      I hope Fotherington-Thomas got shot during cadet training.

    • Yip sounds like my old school.
      Gobby poofy attention seeking behaviour was a no no.

  16. And when the horrendous little cunts talk in ‘text speak’…
    They actually say ‘OMG’ (as in ‘Oh Emm Gee’… They also say ‘Lolz’ ‘LMFAO’ ‘Hugz’ and they seem to use the word rape flippantly (as in ‘OMG! you’ve raped most of my Greggs vegan sausage roll!)… When normal people say ‘Get your thieving hands off my grub, you greedy cunt!’

    I despise these pig ignorant ill mannered ‘Me Me Me’ little fucks with a passion… And how I wish that giant teacher with that mincer from the ‘Another Brick In The Wall’ video was real…

    • Idris Ebola is a publicity whore of a cunt…. Most people would not want others to know if they had this fucking virus… But just watch celebrity schlongs like Mr Ebola milk this for all its worth… 95% of celebrity types are cunts… 100% official undisputed fact….

  18. Spiteful resentful self absorbed cunts. They think they can save the world but can’t even run their own lives without the bank of mum and dad, dads taxi and the free food and accommodation they take for granted, abuse and have little respect for.

    Adulthood will be a nasty surprise and a nightmare they never wake from.

  19. When I’m out and about*, sometimes I overhear youngsters
    as well as adults, having conversations with one another.
    What blows my mind is what some youngsters talk about.
    What I hear makes me realise how times have changed.

    *Aaaahhht and abaaahhht

  20. I’m amazed at how millenials seemed to have changed vowel sounds in a lot of words, or waaads as they would pronounce it. This mainly applies to the south of the country.

    Example:
    “I really want to work there” would be pronounced “I raally want to waaak thar” or “I’ve got a bad headache” would be pronounced “Av got a budd huddache”

    It seems more noticeable when the girls are speaking. A’s have become U’s and E’s have also become U’s in a lot of cases.

    It raally sounds cruupp and it’s so amburrasang thuut they can’t say thar wuuds caruuctlay. Oh yeah, and I hate it when they talk about ‘Uni’ I could wring the cunts necks.

  22. Just dress in camouflage and make sure you sit next to them next time, laugh like a mental with your eyes crossed, shouting, ‘They’ll never find the bodies! GWOOIAARRGHOAHGGDTJHH!! EKI EKI BUGANG SPLORGPIFFLE’

    They won’t get on your bus ever again.

    • That’s normal behaviour where I live. I find a pinstripe suit, a copy of the FT and quietly working out a column of figures with a calculator generally works, though.. Steel tipped umbrella or sword cane also recommended.

  23. I once threatened to put one of these cunts through the bus window, the little window bit that opens at the top. After his gobby remark about not fitting, as I expected, he soon shut up when I said ‘i’ll make you fit’. This was brought on by his constant (hour each day on bus) pisstaking of a boy 1 year younger than him and his repeatedly calling him a ‘virgin’. I also threatened to drag another boy to the front and throw him out at the next stop for his repeated swearing despite several passengers asking him to stop. Worst offenders, the 5-ish cunts you get at the back playimg shitty rap into the whole bus!

  24. Run from da yoot, ‘iz gat ‘e guna shoot, ‘e tawks lyk dat, coz ‘e a fookin’ twat. Brrap brrap, init blud, yar mean? Fo shizzle.

  25. Not only is what most teens say actually bollocks, its the total basterdization of the language, case in point black girl on KFC ads, to words like sic- meaning good and a host of other abbreviated smart phone bollocks, so these cunts cant even hold a conversation without playing with said phone, maybe god has decided enough is enough and its time for a corona cull so natural selection can start sorting some of these cunts out….

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