We’re doomed! Doomed, I tell you. No, nothing to do with Coronavirus. It’s an asteroid that NASA has been tracking and it’s calculated to hit the Earth on the 29th April. It will achieve what the Russians, the Americans and the Iranians have tried, but failed to do over the years which is to wipe out mankind.
It’s 2.5 miles across and weighs…God knows what it fuckin’ weighs, it doesn’t say. However, it’s travelling at 20,000 miles per hour, so there’s going to be one fuckin’ hell of a mess when it hits! Anyone who knows how to deflect the beast, answers on a postcard before the end of March please.
Killer asteroids are a cunt! I was hoping to have got in at least one more birthday before this earth shattering news came in.
And if you don’t believe me, read for yourself:
PS Admin: Because of the urgency of this situation, I would expect this nom to move up the pending list as we might not be around much longer to discuss it’s merits.
Nominated by Bertie Blunt Tory Cunt
The Express and Mail always have a killer asteroid story out every few months.
Disaster-porn.
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